Can you hear my heartbeat?

Tired of feeling never enough

I close my eyes and tell myself that my dreams will come true

Today is the day! I told myself, running as fast as I possibly could down the side of a highway in cold, cold Russia. That day... I was going to do it! I was going to face my fears. I was going to be more brave than I had ever been before. I was going to...to..!

"Yuri!" I heard a loving and warm voice call from ahead of me. I smiled and saw him. My idol, my inspiration, my fiance! The very man that taught me the meaning of love itself. The beautiful and kind man... Viktor.

"Viktor!" I said and suddenly slid on the ice and almost fell on my face. However, a warm pair of arms caught me just in time. I closed my eyes, smiled up at Viktor, and thanked him.

"Idiot, slipping on the ice when you're literally a professional ice skater." That wasn't Viktor.

"Yurio!?" I yelled and jumped backwards, slipping on the ice and actually falling this time. Yurio rolled his eyes.

"Why are you surprised to see me? This is Russia!"

"I-I just thought..." I trailed off and adjusted my glasses.

"Thought what? That I'd just leave you and Viktor to tend to each other? Get real!" Yurio laughed with a bad attitude. "And how come you get to be Yuri and I have to be Yurio? Judging by how things have been going, you should be the one to change your name!"

Yurio was suddenly picked up and set aside, revealing the person I had been dying to see before I had gotten distracted with the blond little shit. I pushed myself off the ground and finally into Viktor's arms. He didn't even hesitate and hugged me with all his might.

"Yuri~~" Viktor purred and nuzzled my face with his own. "I'm glad you made it safe from Japan!" We let go of each other and laughed, totally overjoyed at being together again. It had been a whole month since we had seen each other. My mother had gotten sick and I had to help out around the hotspring while she got better.

"I'm back." I said softly, feeling my cheeks redden. "I, uh, I missed you, Viktor."

I heard Yurio scoff and watched him pull his hood over his head. He really had a bad attitude pretty much all the time, but he was my friend. Sometimes.

"Yuri, let's go get dinner! I'll pay!" Viktor said excitedly. He put his arm around my shoulders and started walking towards the city. Yurio trailed behind us.

I then remembered what I had told myself over and over before I had returned to Russia. I had something I desperately needed to do. I had to make myself get over my overwhelming shyness and -

"Oh Yuri, you should've seen Yurio! He just couldn't sit still once I told him you were coming home! The little guy missed you as much as I did!"

"Shut up!" Yurio hissed and threw a snowball at Viktor. "I like having Yuri around to remind myself just how great of an ice skater I really am. That's it."

"Oh no, Yurio!" Viktor laughed. "Remember, you had this doofy grin and I think I even found you skating to Yuri's eros by yourself one night!"

I laughed and looked over my shoulder at the fifteen year old. "Oh really?" I asked teasingly. Yurio glared at me and mumbled curses under his breath as we continued to walk.

Half an hour later, we were in some fancy restaurant being served an expensive bottle of vodka with fondue as an appetizer. Again, I was reminded of my goal. I was annoyed that I kept forgetting something so important to myself. Something I had been thinking about nonstop since I went to Japan to help my family. I was going to finally-

"Sir?" god DAMMIT.

"What?" I said impatiently to... The waitress... I felt awful for being so rude to a woman just trying to do her job.

"I'm sorry for my rudeness!" I said quickly and sighed. What a good way to start off my life back in Russia.

"I'll have whatever Viktor is having." I thought for a second, "and an order of french fries, please."

The waitress wrote everything down and left. I laid my head on the table and closed my eyes. Viktor gave my hand a gentle squeeze.

"Yuri, are you alright?"

Yurio scoffed and stood up. "I'm going to the bathroom," and he left.

I sat up and took a shot of vodka. We were alone. Finally, no one would interrupt me. I couldn't let myself get distracted anymore! I took a deep breath and leaned forward.

"Viktor, let me-" I felt a grip on my arm as I was suddenly led into the bathroom against my will. It was Yurio.

"What are you doing?" I whispered angrily.

"Let's focus on you, Katsudon." Yurio hissed. "What the hell is up with you? You come back from Hasestu and suddenly think you're bold? You think you're going to kiss Viktor in front of all these people?" I gasped and backed away from him.

"How do you know that's what I had planned?"

Yurio rolled his eyes and pointed at me. "You've been staring at his mouth ever since you got here! You're being real obvious!"

I blushed and felt my heart race increase. Was Yurio going to tell Viktor? "What's the big deal?" I mumbled.

"You will get nothing but negative attention from this. You'll embarrass Viktor and most of all you'll embarrass yourself. Just wait until you're alone, geez." Yurio said, looking away.

He was right. It would probably be seen as a publicity stunt or something. I needed to wait until we were home.

"Thank you, Yurio!" I said after I splashed some water on my face. I ran back to Viktor and sat down. I grabbed Viktor's hand and smiled at him.

"Is something wrong, Yuri?" He asked with a worried expression. I shook my head and just gazed into his beautiful blue eyes. Yurio joined us again and soon after he sat down our food was delivered. I didn't really know what it was, but it was good. Everything was good. Everything was perfect.

We stayed and caught up for at least an hour after we finished eating. I was pretty drunk and Viktor was trashed. Someone kept sending us free shots of vodka, and boy were we thankful.

"I think it's time for you two to go home," I think I remember Yurio saying as he was dragging us out of the restaurant. He called us a cab and pretty soon we were stumbling into the front door.

"Viktor, we're home~~!" I called and fell on the couch. How I had managed to stay on my feet that long I'll never know. Viktor grinned like an idiot and slumped down next to me. I climbed onto his lap and drunkenly straddled him.

"I missed you, Viktor." I said and pressed my forehead to his. Viktor attempted to say it back, but his mouth just refused to work. I shushed him and leaned in for a kiss. He didn't even seem surprised, like he was constantly ready for our first kiss. I pecked him more and more and more until both of us were out of breath and our lips were swollen.

I had told myself that I was ready to kiss Viktor as soon as I'd gotten on the plane to Japan. I told myself I couldn't be scared anymore. I had done it, drunk or not, and I was so happy.

"Let's kiss more often." I said blushing. Viktor nodded and we started to spoon on the couch, eventually falling asleep and sleeping late into the next morning.