INVADER QUINN

Daria and Beavis and Butthead are property of Glenn Eichler, Mike Judge, and MTV.

Invader Zim is property of Jhonen Vasquez, Nickelodeon, and Viacom.

As this series takes place in the far future, it will use the International Fixed Calendar, to make things easy in terms of dates and stuff.

Episode 1-001: The Doomy Beginning of Doom!

Inside the cockpit of a small, purple ship, spherical in shape with four little engines or nasals attached to each corner, a set of fuscha eyes looked over a small screen with instructions. A green hand covered by black gloves moved forward and pressed a button on the control console.

The fuscha eyes narrowed as they looked out at the series of large vessels docked at the space elevator ring surrounding the planet Conventia.

"Welcome, brave Irken soldiers! Welcome to Conventia! The convention hall planet. Here is where the Great Assigning will be held by your leaders!" announced an Irken on a large series of screens floating in the air as thousands of Irkens made their way to the main convention center where the Assigning was being held.

"Please, proceed to the docking ring, and take our complementary teleporters to the planet's surface." As more Irkens were beamed to surface by the teleporters, the announcer continued. "Be sure to visit the gift shops for all kinds of cheap, useless stuff!"

Inside the main convention hall, two tall Irkens, Almighty Tallest Red and Purple, looked around as the skiff they were on was about to detach itself from the rest of the room above the main hall. They smiled with glee.

"Finally... after so many years, we're ready to begin again," Red said. "Yeah, and with You-Know-Who being banished to Foodcourtia, nothing can screw this up! Unless the supply ship doesn't have enough nachos, of course," Purple said.

As thousands of Irkens made their way into the main hall, the announcer began speaking once more. "Now, wiggle your antennae in salute of your all knowing, all powerful leaders: The Almightyyyy Tallest!"

Lasers began shooting into the air as a small circular platform descended from the ceiling and made its way down to the main stage area. "Ah, look at em all," Red said. "See, I told you they'd like the lasers," he said with a grin to Purple. "What is it with you and lasers? I'm telling you, smoke machines are what the people really waiieeohhada!" Purple cried as a laser hit him in the eye. Red smirked at his misfortune and kept waving at the crowd.

After the platform landed on the stage, where a few dozen Irken soldiers were lined up, Red glanced around at the crowd again. "Welcome, Irken soldiers! You are the finest examples of military training that the Irken Army has to offer! Good for you."

At this time, Purple had finally recovered. "My eye," he muttered as he rubbed it. "Standing behind us, however, are soldiers we've chosen for roles in one of the most crucial parts in Operation Impending Doom Two!" A holographic map of the galaxy appeared behind them.

"You in the audience, however, will only get to sit and watch," Red said smugly. "You should have tried harder!" Purple shouted at the audience. Red turned to gesture at the soldiers behind them. "These superior ones-" "Not quite as superior as us, of course!" Purple said. "Duh! Anyway, these less superior than us but still quite superior soldiers will each be assigned to an enemy plaanneeet!" Red cried out heartily.

"I'm late! I'm late!" cried a medium-sized Irken as she ran through the throngs of people waiting outside of the convention hall.

"There," Purple said, "You will blend in with the hideous native inhabitants!" "All while gathering crucial information, assessing the planet's weaknesses, making it vulnerable to our big... space ship... uh, gang! " Red said. "The Armada?" Purple said with a smirk. Red frowned at being shown up, but otherwise said and did nothing.

"Now, let the assigning begin!" Purple cried. The crowd was silent, save for one Irken who went, "Woo!" Purple frowned before pointing down at an Irken standing in line. "Step forward, Invader Lardd," he said.

Lardd stepped forward quietly. "I see that you have grown since last we saw you," Red said to the smaller Irken. Lardd nodded his head and made his way up to the platform. "You have been assigned to Blorch, home of the Slaughtering Rat People!" Purple said with a smile as he showed everyone an image of Lardd being menaced several hideous rat monsters.

"Why-why would you draw that?" Lardd asked. "However, since you have increased your height lately, you will instead be assigned to planet Vort, home the universe's most comfortable couch," Red said. An image of Lardd sleeping on a large couch was then shown.

"Yes!" Lardd said with a grin and fist-pumps. "Next up, Invader Skoodge!" Purple announced as Lardd walked away. Red and Purple looked down a the squat Irken before them. "Oh, now that's just sad," Red said. "Could you get any shorter!?" Purple asked him. "You will be assigned to Blorch, home of the Slaughtering Rat People," Red said dismissively. Skoodge began to shudder and cry at the image of him being menaced by the rat monsters was shown on the screen.

"Move it, move it! Out of my way, out of my way!" cried a high-pitched voice as a particular Irken pushed her way through the crowd.

"Next, Invader Spleen!" Purple called. An Irken with an enormous forehead stepped forward. "Ooh!" Red and Purple said with surprise.

After Invader Tenn walked away, Red and Purple began waving to the crowd. "Thank you, thank you all for coming!" Purple said with a smile. "Help yourselves to some nachos, and we'll see some of you at the equipping station." "Yes," Purple added. "Gorge yourselves... you mooches!" Red was preparing to maneuver a remote laser at Purple's face when he heard a voice in the crowd that shook him to his candy-filled core. "Wait, wait! Wait for me!" cried out a familiar, high-pitched female voice.

"That voice!" Purple said in horror. "It... it can't be!" Red said as they watched a small Irken, taller than Lardd or Spleen, but still shorter than them, climb onto the stage. "No..." Red said as the Irken lifted her head with a wicked smile. "Quinn!" Red and Purple exclaimed. "I'm sorry I'm late, My Tallest!" Quinn said with a salute.

"Q-Quinn!? What are you doing here!?" Red asked angrily. "I couldn't find my invitation. You're lucky I made it at all," Quinn said quite haughtily. "You weren't invited at all," Red said. "Yeah, weren't you banished to Foodcourtia?" Purple asked. "Shouldn't you be... frying something?"

"Oh, I quit when I found out about this," Quinn said with a smile. "You... you quit being banished!? How does that even work? How do you-" "Never mind that," Red said with a wave of his hand. "Look, the point is, Quinn, the Assigning is over," Red said to the smaller Irken standing in front of them.

"But, you can't have an invasion without me! I was part of Impending Doom One, remember?" Quinn asked them in protest. "Oh yes," Purple said with a frown, "We remember..."

Many years earlier on the Irken home world...

Red and Purple watched with bile fascination as the Cylco-mech commanded by Quinn rampaged throughout the military base, destroying everything in its path.
Inside the control center of the gigantic machine, Quinn ordered her subordinates to continue operating the mechanical beast, despite their protests. "But, Sir! We're still on our home planet!" one of them cried out. "Silence!" Quinn shouted. "You! Twist those knobs! And you, pull some levers! Pull some levers! Ahahaahahhaaaaaaaaaaaa!"

The machine continued moving forward, destroying everything in its path. Red, in a moment of hindsight, looked back at all of the incident reports that had been associated with Quinn over the years, including the deaths of Tallest Myuki and Tallest Hazorth at the hands of her uncontrollable experiments, as well as the shut-down of a key power grid on Devastus. After that moment of reflection, it occurred to him that allowing Quinn to come even close to military hardware such as that machine probably wasn't the smartest of ideas.

Back on Conventia, in the present...

"Well, I did put the fires out, didn't I?" Quinn said sheepishly. "You made them worse!" Red replied angrily. "Worse... or... better?" Quinn asked in reply with a smile. "Look, Quinn, go back to Food-Courtia. If you leave now, maybe we'll forgive this little incident, and we might even give you a small bag of snacks, since you clearly do wish to serve the Empire to your greatest ability. And, you can do that by staying away from all military operations," Red said. "But... but, invader's blood marches through my veins like... giant... radioactive rubber pants! The pants command me! Do not ignore my veins!" Quinn pleaded.

"What? We offered you some snacks. Isn't that enough?" Purple asked. "Please, my Tallest! All I ask is a chance to prove myself as an invader. Gimme!" Quinn asked with a smile. Red sighed and turned to Purple. The two of them moved a few feet away from Quinn and turned around, whispering to each other.

Purple listened as Red explained his plan. He occasionally glanced back at Quinn over his shoulders before returning his attention to Red. "Will it work?" Purple asked after Red finished. "It's the best option. He hasn't contacted us since then and neither has whatever-her-name-was, so whether it exists or not doesn't matter, as long as she's far away from us," Red said. "Okay," Purple said, "Let's do it."

"Having had a chance to think about your service in the past and your eagerness, we can see that you are truly deserving," Red said after had and Purple turned around. "Yes. Yes, I am," Quinn said confidently.

"You shall be sent to a planet so mysterious, that no one's even heard of it, except in rumors," Red said with a smirk. "Right!" Purple added. "And those who've heard of it, dare not speak its name." "What's its name?" Quinn asked. "Oh, we dare not speak it," Purple replied. "I see... a secret mission," Quinn said deviously.

"Happy now?" Red asked. "Yes," Quinn replied wickedly. "Okay. Invaders, report to the equipping hall. Oh and, uh, lasers," Red said with a grin. A laser shot out at Purple's eye, causing him to scream as he fell back in pain. Red chuckled lightly.

"The universe will be ours for the taking!" Red shouted. "It's only a matter of time before all the races of the universe serve the Irken Empire!" "I'll have them serve me curly fries," Purple said as he recovered.

Meanwhile, on the mysterious planet, otherwise known to its inhabitants as Earth...

"Curly fries... curly fries..." Stacey Morgendorffer gasped as she put down her headphones. They were attached to her laptop, which had a small, portable, heavy-duty satellite dish plugged into it. Stacey looked up at the night sky. "They're coming," she said fearfully.

Meanwhile, inside the house, Daria Morgendorffer opened the fridge door to grab a soda, only to find the pack of Ultra Cola to be gone. "Stacey drank the last soda, didn't she? I knew I should have bought another one," she muttered under her breath. She heard a thump from upstairs before the sound of feet on the steps entered her ears as Stacey tripped at the bottom of the final step, emitting a yelp.

Stacey quickly recovered and entered the kitchen. "They're coming!" Stacey exclaimed. "Mom, Dad, they're coming! I heard them! I actually heard them! I heard this transmission up on the roof and-" "Shh-shh! Not now, Honey," Professor Jake Morgendorffer said as he messed with something on the counter. "I'm making... TOAST!" "You know that toast already exists, right?" Helen Morgendorffer asked from her spot near the kitchen bar counter.

"Stacey," Helen said, "I hope you have everything else packed and ready for the move next week," Helen said. "I do! I just... I just wanted to use a few more things before I got them all put away," Stacey said defensively. "Alright, just make sure that it's labeled properly when the moving guys get here," Helen said.

Stacey then ran over to Daria. "Daria, they're coming! They really are!" she cried. Daria sighed. "Who's coming, Stacey?" Daria asked her in an annoyed tone. "I don't know..." Stacey admitted.

Back on Conventia...

"This is your standard issue Information retrieval unit, otherwise known as a SIR," Purple explained as he held up a small robot. "It will assist you in gathering invaluable data during your mission," Purple said. "It's also a thermos," Red said. "Who wants this one!?" he asked. "I do!" exclaimed Invader Dalk. Purple threw the SIR at him, knocking the Irken on his back. "Thank you," Dalk cried painfully.

"All right, everyone line up and get a robot!" Red said. The invaders lined themselves up, and the SIR units came to life one at a time, their eyes and other markings glowing red. "SIR, go warm up my ship," Skoodge said. "Yes, Master! I obey!" the SIR said as it ran off. When it came time for Quinn to receive her SIR unit, Red halted the line.

"We have a... top secret model for you, Quinn," Red said as he motioned for a garbage can to rise from its spot under the floor. A tall cylinder emerged from a hole in the floor and rose up to Red's chest level. He and Purple dug through the trash and pulled out an older SIR model, one that had been deactivated and had different components than the newer models.

Unlike the newer models, it had no cover guard to go over its mouth, but Red and Purple didn't really care about that. After dropping some paper clips, bubble gum, and some coins into the robot's head, they closed it and turned to face Quinn, holding the robot behind Red's back. "Wooooo!" Red sang before he threw the robot to the ground in front of Quinn.

It lay motionless on the floor. "It looks kind of... not good," Quinn said as she scratched her chin. "Yes, well... that's what the enemy will think!" Purple said hastily. The robot had dull green/blue marking and lights on it. "I see! Very clever; it even fooled me!" Quinn said.

"I am honored to be trusted with such advanced technology!" Quinn announced, oblivious to Red and Purple's snickering. Just then, to everyone's surprise, the dull spots on the robot lit up, along with its eyes, which shone bright red. The little robot leapt to its feet and marched over to Quinn.

"GIR, reporting for duty!" it said with a salute. "GIR?" Quinn asked. "What does the 'G' stand for?" At that instant, GIR's demeanor changed. Its eyes changed from red to blue/green, and its vocal pitch changed as well. "I don't know!" it said. Quinn raised an eyebrow. Then, the robot began hitting itself in the head with its fists, squealing with joy. "Wee-hoo-hoo-hoo! Wee-hoo-hoo-hoo!" it cried joyously.

"Um... is it supposed to be... stupid?" Quinn asked the Tallests. "It's not stupid, it's advanced!" Purple replied. The other Irkens all snickered as they watched Quinn buy Purple's obvious lie without any question, although a few of them did pity the female invader, but their memories of Quinn's actions during Impending Doom One quickly squashed those feelings of pity.

As the invaders left the orbital ring around Conventia, Quinn looked at the navigation coordinates given to her by the Tallest. "Okay, GIR! Our mission begins now! Let us rain some doom down upon the filthy doomed heads of our doomed enemies!" Quinn exclaimed. "I'm gonna sing the Doom Song now!" GIR said excitedly.

"Doom, doom! Doom, doom, doom! Doom-doom-doom-Dooooom!"

Six Months Later...

"GIR," Quinn said, "Would you please stop singing?" When GIR refused to stop, Quinn changed her position and began moving her arms towards the little robot's throat. Before she could throttle the machine, a beeping sound emitted from the console of the Voot Cruiser. "Doomy-doom-doom! The End! Ooh, what's that?" GIR asked.

"It's a planet! We've already entered the system, so this must be the one the Tallest were talking about. It doesn't match the coordinates exactly, but it's close enough," Quinn exclaimed. "Accessing local communications systems... oh, these are primitive," Quinn said. "Hmm... Earth? Simple name," Quinn said as she piloted the Voot Cruiser closer to the planet.

"First, we'll need to setup a base of operations. Let's see... that continent is closest to us, so we'll choose that one," Quinn said as she maneuvered the Voot Cruiser and entered the planet's atmosphere. "He-he-he-he!" GIR giggled. "Focus, GIR! This is where your advanced information gathering skills will come in handy!" GIR's eyes glowed red as he saluted Quinn. "Yes Sir!" GIR said, before rushing over to the cockpit front and staring down at the surface.

"You have to observe what these... Earthanoids consider to be... normal. Then, based on your observations, we make our disguises... and our home," Quinn said. A few minutes later, they descended and began flying over a small neighborhood. GIR looked at the scenery with fascination as Quinn flew the Voot cruiser past numerous buildings and grassy areas before finding an abandoned spot between two large houses.

"Here! We build here!" Quinn announced as she set the Voot Cruiser down on the ground before climbing out. She walked over to look around the street and the other houses in the neighborhood before turning back to the cruiser. "GIR, get over here!" she snapped. GIR clamored out of the cruiser and ran over to Quinn's side.

"Now, tell me, what did you learn?" Quinn asked him. "I saw a squirrel!" GIR said. Quinn raised an eyebrow. "It was going like this!" GIR said as he assumed a posture similar to a squirrel and began moving his arms weirdly. "Concentrate, GIR!" Quinn snapped at him quietly. "It is time for disguises." "I want to be a mongoose," GIR said.

Quinn walked over to the cruiser, which then rose up and angled itself before sprouting two poles on either side and creating a holographic screen. Various human disguises were shown on the screen. "Too ugly!" Quinn said as she saw one that looked like a gorilla wearing a dress, mostly because it was a gorilla wearing a dress. She looked at the next one. It was a girl wearing glasses and with a vest made of green material, along with stickers all over her outfit.

"Too stinky!" Quinn declared. The next image showed a girl with red hair and blue jeans, along with a pink and purple-striped shirt with long sleeves that resembled her standard Irken uniform. It matched her height and facial structure just close enough. "Hmm, that one looks good!" Quinn declared. She pressed a button on the screen, and then it disappeared before half-spheres sprang from the Voot Cruiser and closed in around her.

There was a light emanating from the inside as the process began. "Ah! Why does it hurt!?" she cried from inside. Soon, the process was finished, and the half-spheres pulled apart to reveal Quinn, still green but with contacts, red hair, and her uniform changed to resembled blue jeans and a pink shirt. Her PAK was still visible on her back. She looked down at her boots and then at her gloved hands.

"Hmm... maybe it needs re-calibrating," she muttered to herself. She looked back at GIR, who was looking at her. "Master!" he cried. "Master, where'd you go!?" "It's me, GIR," Quinn said while waving her arms. "I'm right here. And keep it down! Do you want to wake up the whole planet!?" she asked with a whisper. "I do," GIR replied.

Quinn turned around and looked at the screen. "Okay, for you... I'm thinking, maybe, a dog," she said. "Can I be a mongoose dog?" GIR asked. Quinn flipped through the various dog disguises on the screen before settling on one that looked normal enough. She pushed GIR in between half-spheres before they closed on the robot. Light emanated and then the half-spheres parted, revealing a small green dog outfit with a black spot on the back.

"I'm genius!" Quinn whispered to herself. "Now, all we need is a home," she said while looking around the space where the Voot Cruiser was parked. "This should suffice," she said quietly as she walked over to the Voot Cruiser and pulled out a small capsule. She pressed a button on the capsule and a small pad extended from it. She pulled out a pen of some kind and began drawing the house. "Some windows; a couple little animal things out front... there!" she announced before the pad retracted back into the capsule.

Quinn then took the two ends of the capsule and pushed them closer, before twisting the one end to cause a small drill to protrude from it. She placed it on the ground near the Voot cruiser and the drill began to spin, digging into the ground. Quinn and GIR made their way over the front side of one of the houses and waited.

Under the ground, the drill-capsule soon stopped, before hundreds and thousands of pipe began to burst forth and dig throughout the ground. The ground began to shake as dozens and dozens of pipes and tubes burst forth and swirled around before spreading out, forming the house. Two large tubes extended from the house, one on each side, and broke into the sides of the houses next to it. When the house solidified, it was teal in color, with purple-tinted windows. The Voot Cruiser was lifted into the roof, on top of which a large satellite dish had emanated.

Soon, small lawn gnomes popped out of the ground and a waist-high fence shot up to create the front lawn, with a small space for people to walk through on the now existent steps and squares of solid material that led from the sidewalk to the front steps. The squares themselves were actually pressure sensitive proximity sensors, connected to the house and base underneath it. A small flag also shot up from the ground, unraveling to read "I LUV Earth!" with a red heart on it.

Car alarms began going off after the tremors from the house-making subsided. People opened their windows and front doors as they looked out to see the cause of the disturbance. Quinn grabbed GIR's leash and pulled him along as she made her way toward the house, where two human-looking robots opened the door. "Welcome home, son," they said in unison as Quinn entered the house, closing the door behind her as she walked into the living room, past the TV and couch, and into the kitchen, where a large toilet was located. Behind the toilet was a poster of some deformed person with a happy grin saying, "I eat food!"

"Step One went smoothly," Quinn said seriously. She walked over to a medium-sized black trash can, which GIR opened by stepping on a pedal on the floor. Quinn climbed into the trash can and descended as the elevating platform inside it took her deep into the bowels of the base. "The tallest were wise to choose me," Quinn said to herself in a congratulatory fashion.

"This planet won't know what hit it after I've learned its weaknesses and-oh, these lenses are all scratchy!" she griped as she rubbed her eyes. After she reached a small room, she went over to a chair connected to a computer terminal and logged in. "Now, to find the best possible way of "learning" about this sad filthy little planet," she said to herself.

"The more we know, the sooner we can conquer this spinning ball of... fffilthy er-er-er... Derds!" she spat out as she looked at a satellite image of a high school. "This will do..."

Monday, September 9th, 2097

"Hmm," Principal Angela Li looked down at the girl with a strange green tint to her skin. "Quinn, um... Vanderi? I hope I pronounced that correctly," she said. "That's right," Quinn said as she looked at Principal Li. "You're a freshman. Just moved here... well, it's always a... good thing to have new students," Li said, a bit unnerved by Quinn's studious expression and small smile.

"Anyway, you'll be meeting with Miss Manson, the school psychologist before you head to any classes," Li said as she ushered Quinn into Miss Manson's office. Miss Manson looked up at the girl. "Hello, you must be Quinn," Manson said. "Yes. Yes, I am. Now, what sort of... testing shall be required of me?" Quinn replied.

"Well, first, look at this image and tell me what you see," Manson said. "Two black shapes that have a resemblance to... people," Quinn said. "Yes, that is... technically correct," Manson said slowly. "Is this the test? To see if I can recognize what other humans look like?" Quinn asked her suspiciously. "This is only part of the test. Now, I want you to tell me what the two people are talking about," Manson said.

"Eh?" Quinn asked her. "Make up a story for them. Invent dialogue," Manson said. Quinn raised an eyebrow and tilted her head in confusion. "Um... okay." She must be onto me! This is a test of my knowledge of human interactions! They're better prepared than I thought! But... I... must... pass! I'll just... make something up, something generic and vague, and then... if she doesn't buy that... I'll... wipe her mind or something.

"Class, I would to introduce the newest, hopeless appendage to the student body. Her name is Quinn Vanderi," Miss Bitters said to the freshman English class. "Quinn, if you have something to say, then say it now, because after this moment, I don't wanna hear another sound from you," Bitters said.

Quinn put her hands together nervously. Miss Manson had been easy enough to fool, considering that she didn't pay much attention at all when she was speaking, but Miss Bitters seemed... intelligent. It would be difficult to keep her from suspecting anything.

"Hello... friends. I am a perfectly normal human worm baby. You have nothing, absolutely nothing to fear from me. Just pay no attention to me and we'll get along just fine," Quinn said. Meanwhile, near the front of the class, Stacey Morgendorffer was staring at Quinn with wide eyes and her mouth open.

"Quinn, please take your seat," Miss Bitters said. Quinn quickly obeyed and found an empty seat in the front of the class. "Now, for today's lesson, we're going look at-yes, Quinn?" Bitters asked. "Um, in the hypothetical event of a full-scale alien invasion, how prepared do you think this planet's defenses would be? Tell me," Quinn demanded.

"Anyway," Bitters said, ignoring the question, "Due to humanity's obsession with death and violence in both literature and the media, it is obvious that humanity is just doomed, doomed, doomed, dooooooomed," she finished. Several kids were nodding off, while others passed notes along to each other.

Stacey, however, looked back and forth between Quinn and her classmates. "Okay, am I the only one here who sees the alien sitting in class?" she asked out loud. Everyone began looking around in confusion. "There!" Stacey said, pointing at Quinn, "Right there!"

Quinn raised an eyebrow. "That is no human kid. She's an alien, an alien! One of the monsters I've been talking about!" Stacey exclaimed. Quinn moved one of her sleeves up on her arm to prepare a self-destruct device. Clearly, the humans were smarter than she initially believed. "She's here to conquer Earth!" Stacey said.

"Oh, not this again. You're crazy," one of the other kids, Joey, said. "What about her green head!?" Stacey retorted. "Insolent fool girl!" Quinn yelled. "It's a skin condition," she lied. "And she's got no ears! Is that part of your skin condition, too, Quinn?" Stacey asked. Quinn lowered her head. "Yes," she said sadly.

"Oh my god, Stacey, you think that just because someone looks different, you can call them an alien?" another student, Tori Jericho, asked her. "Yeah, Stacey. Ever since you moved here, all we ever hear you talk about are aliens and ghosts and other stupid crap!" Sandi Griffin said.

"Yeah, she's always saying stuff," Quinn said. "I remember this one time, she-" "Hey! You just got here!" Stacey snapped. "Don't let her fool you! Look, right there is proof of what I'm talking about, sitting right there!" Stacey exclaimed. The other students took a minute to consider this. "Well, she does look pretty weird." "Yeah, and she is sitting," another student said, causing Quinn's eyes to widen at the possibility of her exposure.

"You see? Actual proof that all the things I've been saying are actually right! Finally, proof that I'm... that I'm..." "That I'm crazy!" Quinn said. "Okay, that makes sense," said Jamie White. "Yeah, and we almost believed her," said Jeffy. Stacey scowled at Quinn, who merely smirked in response.

"So," Jane Lane asked Daria Morgendorffer as they left their last class of the day, "Has your sister intercepted anymore strange messages from deep space?" "None that I'm aware of, unless you count the space between her ears," Daria replied. Jane chuckled in response.

"Well-" Jane was interrupted when a shorter, green-skinned girl was red hair rushed past her and Daria, along with a strange looking backpack. "Did you see that?" Jane asked. "Yeah. Someone went overboard on the whole guacamole thing," Daria said.

Quinn exited the building and looked around at the other kids entering the school buses and walking away. Behind her, she heard her name being spoken. "Quinn," Stacey said. Quinn turned around to look at the girl. "Maybe your cruddy little disguise worked on everyone else, but I'll get them to see the truth," Stacey said. "No one will believe you," Quinn replied with narrowed eyes.

Stacey smirked and brought a pair of hand-cuffs from in her pockets. Quinn raised an eyebrow. "They'll believe if I bring you to them without your disguise," Stacey said as she maneuvered herself in front of Quinn. She unlocked the cuffs and held them out in front of her. "I ordered these from one of my UFO-zines," Stacey said.

"Ooh, it's pretty. What is it?" Quinn asked her. "Alien sleep-cuffs. Guaranteed to render all alien life forms unconscious," Stacey said with a smirk. "How do you know it works if you've never found an alien before?" Quinn asked her skeptically. "Hmm, I guess I'm gonna find out right now!" Stacey said manically as she lunged at Quinn. Quinn dodged Stacey and ran away from the school, with Stacey in hot pursuit.

"Jane, please tell me I didn't just see that," Daria said as she and Jane watched Stacey chasing the new girl with hand cuffs. "I cannot lie so blatantly," Jane replied. "Dammit," Daria muttered in a disappointed tone.

"Leave me alone!" Quinn shouted as she ran along the sidewalk. "I just want to go home and be all normal!" She pushed several people aside as she continued running. I can't use my PAK out in public; that would only give me away! I'll just have to outrun her, Quinn thought as she ran over to a car parked in front of a red light before leaping onto the top of it, running over and leaping on to the hood of a bus before moving onto the top of it. Stacey followed her, only tripping once.

Behind the bus was an ice cream truck, playing its music while Quinn and Stacey stared off against each other on the top of the bus.

"You like ice cream. You like ice cream."

"They might even name your autopsy video after me!" Stacey said with glee as she approached Quinn. Quinn narrowed her eyes and backed up.

"You love it. You cannot resist ice cream."

Quinn looked behind her and leapt onto the top of the ice cream truck, with Stacey following her, landing on her feet with a grunt.

"To resist is hopeless! Your existence is meaningless without ice cream!"

Stacey lunged forward and Quinn jumped to the side, off the ice cream truck and grabbed onto a set of rails in front of a yard. The ice cream truck moved forward after the light turned green. Quinn watched as Stacey almost lost her balance on the moving vehicle.

"Ha! See ya, Stacey!" Quinn exclaimed. "Pitiful human!" she mocked, just before a dog jumped up and attacked her. "Aah!" she screamed as the animal pushed her to the ground and into the large hedges and bushes.

Quinn eventually managed to shake off the dog and crawl over to a bent up hole in the fence, watching quietly as Stacey made her way over and climbed onto the rails. Smirking, Quinn silently extricated herself from the yard and maneuvered behind Stacey, before jumping up and pushing her into the yard. She grinned when she saw the dog bark and leap onto Stacey.

Quinn looked away and tapped on her PAK, causing a long spindly mechanical arm to extended out of it with a microphone. Quinn grabbed the microphone and moved closer to her head. "GIR, help me! There isn't much time," Quinn said. "Yes sir!" Quinn allowed the microphone to retract back into her PAK, watching as a small green object came into view, followed by a huge plume of dust and smoke behind it.

GIR soon stopped in front of Quinn. "GIR, get us back to home base, now!" Quinn demanded of the little robot. "Okie-dokie!" GIR declared as he shot forward and maneuvered himself so that Quinn was riding him. "Hey, wait a minute, what the-aaaaaaaaahhh!" Quinn cried as GIR flew away from the fence.

Stacey soon emerged from the yard, and looked defeated, until she saw the trail of dust and smoke. She grinned as she followed the trail.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh!" Quinn cried as GIR flew to the house at almost break-neck speed, stopping only after crashing into the front door, which had a Men's Room sign on it for some reason. GIR and Quinn fell to the ground in a heap. "Ow," Quinn muttered before standing up and rubbing the back of her head. "Good work, GIR," Quinn said disoriented, while GIR produced a "Do-do-do-doo!" sound in appreciation.

Quinn looked over at the front of the lawn and saw a figure walking through the smoke trail, revealing herself to be Stacey. "There you are," Stacey said. She had a gleam in her eyes as she walked forward, still clutching the hand-cuffs. Quinn opened the front door. "Quick, get in the house GIR, hurry!" Quinn said as the Robot Parents greeted her. "Welcome home, son," they said, before closing the door on Stacey.

"Your little tricks won't fool me, Quinn!" Stacey declared as she walked over to one of the windows. "I know where you live now!" "Oh, your friend's at the window!" GIR said to Quinn as she hid behind the front door.

"You can't hide forever!" Stacey said. One of the gnomes opened its eyes to reveal small barrels, and its arms transformed into gun barrels as well. "And if you can, then I'll wait forever!" Stacey declared. The gnome aimed its guns at the hand-cuffs, calculating its aim before firing a series of laser beams at the cuffs. "I've been preparing for this all my-aah!" Stacey dropped them to the ground as they heated up and then disintegrated.

"Okay, I'm gonna go home now and... prepare some more!" Stacey said as she backed out of the yard. Inside, Quinn listened as she slumped against the door, while GIR removed his dog outfit. "You know, GIR, today actually went far better than I expected," Quinn said with a smile.

The Massive, Flagship of the Irken Armada...

Almighty Tallest Red and Purple devoured a few donuts as they looked over the plans for a weapon system being developed. "Hmm... the output is pretty good, but the power consumption levels are just too high when compared with the output. It would be a waste of time. Send it back to the designer and tell them to either improve it or forget it," Red said as he handed the designs back to the messenger who had given it to them. The messenger nodded his head before exiting the bridge, heading for wherever he was supposed to go.

A loud beeping attracted the attention of the Tallest. "Incoming transmission from... Earth," one of the communications officers said. Red raised an eyebrow. "Earth? That name sounds... vaguely familiar," Red said. His eyes widened considerably, however when the main screen showed an even more familiar face on the screen.

"Invader Quinn reporting, sirs." Purple dropped a soda he was holding. "The mission goes well, but surely you expected that from me" she said. "Q-Quinn? You're... alive?" he asked her. "Yes, and so very alive, and full of goo; mission goo! Don't be surprised if I take care of the humans before the Armada even gets here!" Quinn said with a salute. "Well, I've much work to do. Invader Quinn, signing off!" she said, before GIR dropped down from the ceiling and knocked her to the floor. "Oh, my spine!" she cried before the transmission ended.

Red and Purple stared at the screen with abject horror. "So... why didn't we send her to that planet full of broken glass again?" Purple asked Red. Red glared at him. "Shut up."

Ending Theme: You're Standing On My Neck,(By Splendora)

Also, yes, Miss Bitters will be appearing as a teacher at Lawndale High. I honestly don't think that I can write a crossover without her making some kind of appearance. And yes, Vanderi is a lazy anagram of invader.