It seems that the worst sound ever, is no sound at all. No matter what I do, the trial is all I seem to think about. I can't stand the thought of me fighting for what was right and yet, not feel right about it. Of course my dad does, my lawyer Campbell does, and so did I….once. Now it is all a faded memory, but as more of it fades, the more I want to play it over and over again in my mind. The more this memory fades, the more I want it to come back again. I want to believe that it didn't happen, but every time I try to erase it, it always seems to come back.
I glance at the room across the hall, but my gaze is blurred by fog. I find myself crying, crouched over my pillow. I can't help it. I can see her face. Her pale face the color of her white dress when she was five years old at Easter time while our mother takes pictures of her hunt for plastic eggs filled with chocolate. I can see her face now. Now it seems that that little girl was just another faded memory. A faded memory I try to grasp onto now but soon give up.
I can hear Julia walking around downstairs. I grab the picture I forgot when I left before and look at it deeply. I had left it behind before because of my hate for my family. I wanted to be free and simply away from the family that only birth me for my sister's
sake. Now I look at it and feel homesick.
I'm in my room, sitting on my bed. Nothing has changed from the time I left, but somehow, I feel homesick. The kind you feel when you are sent away to summer camp for eight weeks and all you can think about is The Wizard of Oz and Dorothy saying "There's no place like home." The kind you feel when you go away to pre-school for the first time and it feels like you've been there forever when only it's been a half an hour. Nothing has changed, yet so much is different.
"Anna, it's time to go." I jump at the sound of Julia's voice and quickly wipe away the tears that gathered on my cheek, not wanting Julia to notice. It's no use, she has and I hang my face as I gather my stuff and shove it against my chest.
It is silent in the car, but somehow I feel comforted by the fact that I am not alone this time. That there is someone here that will listen to me and always, no matter if they like it or not, are on my side. Shivers go up my spine immediately as we pass a cross covered in roses by the side of the highway with a sign saying, "It was my fault."
We've reached her apartment and as quickly as I can I grab my backpack and slam the car door shut. I couldn't wait to get to the bed and just sit there and sleep for hours.
"Anna, can you help me with this?" I turn around and look at Julia who stares at me back as if nothing could stop her gaze.
"Sure, but quickly. I'm really tired."
Right after my sentence, a car pulls in, screeching the tires so loudly as if the whole world were to know his purpose. A man slams the car door and walks briskly to Julia, her eyes large and frightened as if this man were to kill her.
"Anna, can you go into the house please, and bring this." She shoved a large bundle of laundry and shoes into my arms nearly knocking me over. I walked into the house fast, happy that I had chance to lie on my bed and sleep.
When I finally got into her apartment I lay the bundle down on the chair overflowing it and watching the shoes fall on the carpet. I collapsed on the couch and looked outside. There was Julia, kneeling on the ground shaking. Her face red and damp with tears. I heard a scream and knew, that something was going to change, now.