A/N: Okay, so here it is, my second Fanfic to this fandom. I can't fet rid of Loki inside my head. He tears my heart apart, and maybe dances and jump at what's left of it. But really... to be honest, I don't want him to stop. He really is a complex character, and I see so many things that could have happened, if things might have gone differently, if he were treated a bit differently... I don't know, I just really want to help the guy, I love him. QAQ

I don't own any of the characters, if I did, Thor und Loki would have managed to overcome it! XD Rather, Odin would have told them from the very start~

There will be a second chapter in Lokis POV... Ehm I haven't written any POV-Stuff, since it's pretty obvious who's talking/thinking, whatever. xD I love writing without using names.

She had cried for many days now, and she knew she would never really get past over it. No matter what happened, what he did, what he might have felt, she still loved him as her own son.

Their plan for him was a very different one from the very beginning, so how did this happen? What did she do wrong? She loved him, like her own son, he was her own son, she gave him her love!

She could remember him being such an endearing child. Shy, loveable, and caring.

So where did she go wrong? How was she not able to see? See what had bothered her dear son over all those years? See what he was actually planning? See how much her child had changed from the pure being he had been, she knew him be once. Once. It was all in the past now, wasn't it?

She failed, and now he was dead.

He wondered if his choice back then might have been a wrong one. Maybe he shouldn't have brought him over here. In the end he knew, he never really fit in. He just was... different.

Whom did he try to fool? His dear wife? Deep in his own heart he knew he had partly been at fault. He might really have unconsciously favored his own child more. And if he did, it had been because he had more in common with him. Saw what he needed in him. When did he have time for the other? He had seemed fine reading in his chambers. Alone. All day long. Why did he never care to take a look at what he might have been doing?

But it was not him that did these awful things, it was what he formed him to become, yes, but it was not himself. And he gave him a choice, but it was him to let go at the end.

How... oh how. He didn't understand. He never did understand him. Too complex for him to understand. Which didn't mean he never tried. He was famous for being stubborn. He thought his effort would be appreciated.

And yes, he was sure it was. Even though he wasn't one to put his thoughts into the right and nice words, he had a good sense. And he knew his brother liked him. So did he. He loved his brother.

Why... why couldn't he have seen it before?

He knew why. He wouldn't kid himself any longer. He knew he was at fault. Because he was who he was, he failed to be there for him. To be someone his brother could rely on. And in the end, that must have been something that pulled him more into darkness. He was too busy being happy for his own achievements, for his own future, too egoistical and arrogant. Also... ignorant. Not a single time did he tried to look into his brother's heart.

But his brother did. He always asked him what he had done that day, how he felt, what he planned to do the following day. He tried to be a part of his life. How hard must that have been for him? How desperate must he have been?

He was a terrible person, a terrible warrior and a terrible brother. He remembered now, after it all had ended, after his fall. He remembered his promise. He gave his word to protect him, to be there for him? Just when was it, that he forgot? Yes, he loved him. But... he could have done better.

Chapter two coming soon, and it should be a bit longer~