RED Engineer sighed, a weary, lung-deflating exhale of carbon dioxide, and drew a handkerchief out of his back pocket to dab at the sweat beading relentlessly on his forehead. You would think that after weeks-months, even-at this God-forsaken base, he'd be used to the heat. Not so. Even little ole Beecave hadn't been this hot, and that was goddamn TEXAS. The temperature simply soared here as if it would never reach a climax, but simply continue climbing until every living thing in no-man's-land just up and shriveled away. Well, at least he was in the shade. The Engineer put the kerchief away and took a swig of water from a small canteen before returning his thoughts to more pressing matters.
Today's battle wasn't going exceedingly well. After an entire morning of an unsuccessful offensive, the RED team had finally captured one of the BLU control points, allowing them to advance further into the war zone and get a stronger foothold to build up a better offense. Engie, practical-minded as ever, had immediately set up a dispenser near the newly-taken point, and was in the process of setting up a turret as his more gung-ho teammates charged onward. The stout Texan finished up the turret and leaned heavily on the thing before removing his goggles and wiping at the sweat that had begun to sting his eyes.
"Whoo-ee, this heat'll git us all before the dang BLUs even get a chance." He mused quietly, again dabbing at his face with the damp kerchief.
"Oui, only if I do not keel zem all first, Laborer." A plume of smoke hit the back of the Engineer's neck, sending an unpleasant chill down his spine.
Engie spun on his heel at the sudden sound, tripping over himself and his sentry before falling in an ungraceful heap on his backside. Despite his tumble, his pistol was out in a lick, aimed directly at the head of the Spy now chortling softly in front of him, looking down at the shorter man with a look of amused pity and condescension.
"Dag nabbit, Spah! How many times Ah gotta tell you to stop sneakin' up on me! You dern nearly got a bullet to the brain just now." The shorter man huffed and stood, dusting off his backside a bit and taking a step away from the Spy…only to trip once again on the leg of the sentry, and send himself reeling backward for a second time. "Dag-nabbit-daggit…" Engie simmered under the amused, snorting laughter of his teammate, his cheeks taking on a reddish tinge as he rose again. Of course, there was no telling whether it was from the heat, the impatient anger generated by said heat, or the embarrassment of the situation in general.
In an effort to save face, Engie occupied his hands by upgrading the sentry. It was still hot as hell, and every swing of his wrench seemed to take a heftier toll on the man, but he couldn't resist a proud, satisfied smile as he completed the upgrade and surveyed his handiwork. After a while he turned back to Spy, who was still standing there like a bump on a log, leaning languidly against the dispenser as if they weren't in the middle of a battle in goddamn hundred and twenty degree weather. The Texan gave the man a hard stare.
"Ain't you got somewhere to be, Spah? If'n ya haven't noticed, we're in the middle of a war." Engie gestured vaguely in the direction of the BLU base, hoping the Frenchman would take the hint and go. It wasn't that he disliked the man, per-say, he just didn't particularly like him either. Spy was always making lewd, completely inappropriate comments and queries toward the Engineer, and it made him uncomfortable. This was mostly due to the fact that Engie was never able to tell whether he was serious with his flirting or…well, he just hoped that the other man wasn't serious.
"Oui, I 'ave plenty of places to be, but as you said, zis heat, it may just 'git' us all," He smiled. "So zis is simply a momentary reprieve from ze hellish weather." The Frenchman took a long drag from his cigarette, leaning even more lazily against the dispenser and giving the Engineer a look that playfully dared him to try and make him leave.
"Well, Spah, I can definitely see the logic there. But Ah still don't see why you feel the need to sneak up on a body like that, specially not someone on yer own dang team." Engie huffed and went back to work on the sentry, tightening a few bolts here and there to keep her in perfect working condition. Spy chuckled and sidled silently up to the other man, observing his work over his shoulder.
"Apologies, monsieur. It eez a force of habit," Engie jumped at the low voice that'd gotten even closer to him. "Perhaps you are simply too excitable, oui?" The Spy was breathing in his ear now, setting off a prickle under Engie's skin.
"Now, Spah, I ain't gonna tell ya again-"
"EXCUSE ME, BUT WE ARE FIGHTING A WAR! WHAT IN THE NAME OF UNCLE SAM ARE YOU TWO DOING STANDING AROUND LIKE TWO BIDDIES AT TEA TIME?" The RED Soldier stormed up to the two, fresh from respawn and red in the face.
"Ah, ze ever-overzealous Soldat. We were simply 'aving a chat." The Spy looked unfazed by the arrival of the Soldier, still arching his lean frame over the Engineer and smiling into his neck.
"A CHAT? CHATTING IS FOR CIVILIANS! AND COMMUNISTS! LET ME REMIND YOU AGAIN THAT WE. ARE. AT. WAR." He glared at the both of them from under his helmet, eyes narrowing at their close proximity. "I would expect this kind of lazy behavior from the Frenchie bastard, but you, Truckie?" Soldier gave the smaller man a hard stare, prompting an even deeper blush than before to spread across the Engineer's face. He stood up abruptly, pushing the Spy away and tightening a bolt that didn't really need it. The taller man simply smiled and cloaked, leaving the Engineer to deal with the angry American. Engie felt the a ghostly touch of fingertips against the nape of his neck, and heard a slight chuckle, before the Spy moved away completely. Creep.
"Sorry bout that, Solly. It's just so dern hot out here. Spah stopped at the dispenser and I guess I got a little distracted." He rubbed the back of his neck absently, giving the slightly older man a sheepish grin. "Won't happen again." Solly marched up to the shorter man and puffed himself up to his full height, getting right into Engie's face.
"It better not, maggot, or we'll be calling in for a new Truckie and you'll be OUT ON YOUR ASS. DO I MAKE MY SELF CLEAR, PRIVATE COWBOY?"
Engie nodded, which, had he been anyone else, would have thrown Soldier into a tirade about addressing him as SIR, LOUDLY, AT ALL TIMES. But the RED Soldier and Engineer had long since broken the awkward state of acquaintanceship, and Solly let him slide with a few more things than anyone else could. Engie honestly thought it was only because Soldier was partial to his cooking. But who knows.
The Soldier gave him one last, hard stare, then nodded brusquely and charged off with the team's Pyro, who was on his way back from respawn to give the guy that killed him the what-for. Engie simply watched the two of them go, thinking nothing in particular. Until, of course, he felt a hand creeping slowly down his backside.
Spy got a wrench to the face, but came out laughing.
"Ah, mon petit ingénieur, you never fail to bring a smile to my face." Spy lurched backwards a bit, holding the swelling side of his face as the dispenser slowly released a healing agent into his body, taking the sting out of his wound. For a man with such a small stature, Engie was no pushover. A hit from his burly, toned arms was like taking a punch to the head from heavy. Still, Spy found the southerner's apprehension and hair-trigger to be…endearing, in a way.
"A smile? I 'bout took her head of-again! Dangit, Spah!" Engie fretted over his somewhat-friend/nuisance, gingerly touching the Spy's face with his hand to make sure he hadn't broken his jaw. Spy relished the feel of the cool glove against his cheek, and held it there with his own hand, letting out a little sigh. Engie balked at this, but didn't take his hand away. Wasn't as if it were harmful, anyhow. After a moment the Spy smirked a little and stood, sighing a bit at the loss of the cool hand on his face.
"Well, I zuppose I should really get back to my work, zen." He straightened his tie in a business-like manner, dropping his previous playfulness and looking for all the world like the professional killer that he really was. A slight smile tugged at the corner of his mouth, however, at the look on the Engineer's face. It was a mix of concern and annoyance, as if he were struggling with some inner conflict of the Spy's presence. Ah, the many faces of the Texan were refreshing. Unlike the Spy, who had but brief lapses in his cold exterior, the shorter man was an open book at all times. "Unless you will miss me? After all, I could not imagine you would 'ave nearly as much fun wiz me gone." He gave the other man a cheeky smile that was reserved specifically for the purpose of bothering the Engineer, and winked.
Engie snorted and turned his head. The momentary spell of the Spy's odd display was broken, and now he was just annoyed.
"Ah think Ah'll manage." He said gruffly, preparing to ignore any further comment by the man in the suit, which he was expecting. What he wasn't expecting, was for a BLU Demoman to come barreling around the corner, screaming obscenities and laughing like a maniac as he launched off some sticky bombs at the sentry, completely annihilating the poor thing. Engie reacted quickly, drawing his shotgun so fast it'd make any Texan proud and taking aim at the charging Demo, but he couldn't get a shot in as he dodged the Scot's bombs.
Spy reacted also, immediately whipping out his formidable pistol and popping a bullet expertly into the Demoman's skull. Engie turned to smile at the man and thank him, but before he could there was an explosion to his left-the Demo had gotten two more bombs out before toppling-and he watched as the Spy exploded into pulpy red pieces in front of him, before he, too was sent crashing into the darkness.
-A-
Engie gasped. Taking a trip through respawn, no matter how often they did it, was never a pleasant experience, and it always left him with a bone-deep chill that can only come from being broken down to the molecular level, only to be reassembled again in a designated location.
This trip, however, had seemed far worse than any other time. It was hot, so very, very hot. Engie could barely breathe, his lungs seemed to struggle in vain to pump enough oxygen throughout his bloodstream, and of all the things, he felt a craving for nicotine. That in itself was made little sense, considering he hadn't even touched a cigarette since college. A muttering to his left caused the man to crack one eye open, which quickly became two very wide eyes as he tried to process the information in front of him.
The RED Engineer was staring at himself. Lying there in the respawn room, pressing a hand to his head, was him. The other him was muttering under his breath, and hadn't seemed to get his bearings yet, but it was definitely, unmistakably himself.
"What in tarnation-" Engie clapped a hand over his mouth comically mid-sentence, realizing that that was NOT his voice. Sure, it had the Texan twang, but it was most definitely not his. As his head reeled, the Texan hastily stood, and regretted it. Why on God's green earth was he so far off the ground? The height was dizzying in itself, but coupled with the effort it was taking to breathe, the threat of toppling to the ground was even greater. And why was he… Engie patted his pockets. Or where they would have been. He looked down at his hand. His gloved, very real, most certainly NOT mechanical hand. His petite, thinly veiled hand, with a distinct lack of working callouses. He tried to speak, but there were no words. This whole situation was starting to seem like some crazy dream where nothing made a lick of sense.
As the distraught Engineer tried to gain his bearings, the man on the floor finally gained his, and realized quite rapidly what had happened, if not exactly how it'd happened. And he was taking it fairly well.
"Mon Dieu," came a strange, French-accented-yet-distinctly-Engineer voice, "Everyzing is so tall from down here!" Despite the situation, he guffawed.
Engie was not amused.