A/N: Hi everyone! This is my first ever Titanic fic, and also my first foray into writing in a long time, so please be kind. Sorry about the spacing, haven't got a hang of FFs editor yet, so I tried to make it easy to read...I hope. I appreciate all reviews and critique :)

I hope you enjoy

-Ms Gatsby

Disclaimer: All things Titanic are property of James Cameron. No copyright infringement intended

Suddenly she began to become aware of her surroundings; the sounds and the smells filling her consciousness, replacing her slumber. Slowly, she opened her eyes, everything was dark and blurry. A few slow blinks had everything in focus; she lay still, wondering where on earth she was, her mind blank. Suddenly memories began flooding back, the iceberg, the ship, leaving-

"JACK" she bolted upright.

"Please Miss!" A nurse rushed over to her side, stopping her from leaving her bed.

"I need to find Jack." she said franticly, tears forming in the pits of her eyes "Where's Jack?" her voice growing weaker at the question, as the enormity of it all sank in.

"Please Miss," the nurse repeated "we need to get you looked over by a doctor first." Rose nodded in defeat, her mind racing, Where was he? Was he ok? Was he even alive? What if Cal got to him? Her thoughts were interrupted by the nurse "Now Miss I'll need to take your name"

"Rose" she said softly

"Rose De-" she cut herself off quickly, this was her chance for freedom, if she gave her real name, her mother and Cal would surely find her, if she didn't however, "Dawson" and it was done, her mother and Cal left to believe she'd died like so many others.

"Thank you Miss Dawson, a doctor will be in shortly." with that the nurse was gone and Rose was alone with her thoughts.

Rose Dawson, she repeated over in her head and wondered what Jack would make of it, it had a nice ring to it, more so then Hockley. Her mind quickly refocused on Jack, he had to be alive, he just had to be. Tears began to roll down her eyes as she thought of their last moments together, him begging her to get on a lifeboat, being torn apart by an officer, how beautiful he looked as the boat was being lowered, how much it hurt to leave the man she loved behind.

"Miss Dawson?" a male voice came from above, she looked up to see a man who looked to be in his fifty's, she nodded "I'm Dr. Walden, the Carpathia's I just need to do a few checks and you can be on your way."

"So I'm on the Carpathia?" Rose asked

"You don't remember anything do you?" Walden replied. Rose shook her head, the last thing she remembered was the screams of those left behind, those not fortunate to get a spot on a life boat, those she listened to dying, praying all the while her Jack was not amongst them.

"We think you went into a deep state of shock, which is not surprising given the circumstances" Walden informed her "by the time you reached us you were unconscious, all your vitals were fine, your body just couldn't take the stress and shut itself down" he said whilst checking her pupils.

"How long have I been here?" Rose asked as him continued to examine her.

"About three hours, it's a quarter past seven on April the fifteenth" He answered "Right then, it looks like you're well enough to leave, if you head up to the deck you'll be able to find out about sleeping arrangements and such, I'm afraid I'm not much used with all that."

"Thank you Doctor" Rose said as she got up from her bed and headed to the curtain which screened off the beds.

"Miss Dawson" Rose turned around "Best of luck, may God be with you."

"And also with you." She replied solemnly

...

Walking through the ship's corridors was like hell for Rose, every step she took reminded her of her search for Jack back on the Titanic and their frantic escape as the water rose, hiding from Cal and Lovejoy, buying precious time.

Of course all that was over now, at the bottom of the ocean, yet the situation resonated with her at this moment. She was once again searching for Jack, however this time have no clue where to start or if he was even alive.

She emerged onto the deck, her eyes stung, not yet used to the daylight.

"Miss?" an officer caught her attention, "If you haven't done so, could you please check in with one of my colleagues?" he motioned to a desk sitting off to the side of the deck, surrounded by people of all classes.

"If I was looking for someone, where would I start?" she asked him, not bothering to acknowledge his request.

"Why that same desk Miss, we're keeping a record of all passengers from the Titanic on board with us."

"Thank you, Sir." Rose walked quickly to the desk and through the people surrounding it, her mind racing and her heart hopeful.

"Excuse me, is there a Dawson aboard, Jack Dawson?" she asked an officer who seemed less than thrilled to be doing what he was doing.

"Your name please, Miss?" he replied ignoring her question

"Is there a Jack Dawson on your list?" Rose repeated herself

The officer looked up from his papers " I need your name first." He said sternly.

"Dawson, Rose Dawson."

He began to write down her information.

"Class?"

She hesitated, the reality dawned on her that she was no longer of the first class society, she had nothing, no money, no family, and no place to go, only the clothes on her back and a chance at freedom.

"Third" she answered matter of factly.

The officer once again looked up from his pages, looking Rose up and down, obviously noting her outfit and jewellery, the same she wore during the sinking, confusing him slightly. Their eyes met, hers searching his pleadingly.

"Right then, steerage." The officer confirmed and wrote down, he then handed her a blanket. "Titanic passengers have this deck to themselves; you'll be sleeping in the library."

"Please, is there a Jack Dawson on board?" her voice growing desperate.

The officer acknowledged her request with a nod and began flipping through pages, running his finger down each page, searching for a name that meant so much to her.

To Rose, it took an eternity, she took a moment to take in the people around her, groups huddled together crying, children pining for their lost father, next to her a woman broke down "No!" she screamed "There must be another list, there must be something." He legs collapsed from under her, her entire being struggling to accept her loved one did not survive. Rose watched as she was held up by two women around her and led away crying and shaking. She turned back to the officer, the look of pain obvious on her face.

" I'm sorry, there's no Jack Dawson on the list." the officer told her "However I can't say it's one hundred percent accurate, and from what I hear there's still boats out there."

"Thank you" Rose said quietly as she faded out of the crowd. She felt like she had been hit by a train, every part of her body ached, although it was a sensation she had never felt before, not quiet physical, but a deeper pain, one that nothing could cure, nothing except him.

...

Despite the pain she felt numb, numb to the world around her, it felt as if time was no longer relevant and the seconds ticked by like hours.

Rose walked through the open space of the deck with a complete disconnection from the rest of the world, it was safe to say her heart was broken; the only man she'd ever loved had been ripped away from her so suddenly, the pain was unbearable.

Despite there being no official class division, the unspoken one was as clear as day, first class passengers had claimed the upper part of the deck, whilst steerage occupied the area she was currently in, which was where she would stay. She had no desire for her old world. She took a seat on a long bench facing the Atlantic Ocean, the ocean where her Jack lay alone.

She didn't cry, just stared out to the vast, open sea; she was somehow in too much pain to cry. She drew the blanket the officer had given her around her back and over her head, not to protect herself from the cold but to disguise her red curls, she was sure Cal would come looking for her, and right now what she needed least in the world was for him to find her and drag her back to her prison. She wouldn't let that happen, she had a promise to keep.

"Come Josephine, in my flying machine" she sung so softly it was barely a whisper. "going up she goes, up she goes..." tears began to fall down her face one at a time.
He was gone.

A/N: Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed it! I'll be bringing Cal into it to explain how he comes to believe Rose is dead and all. I had it in this chapter but I felt it took away from Rose's grief so I left it for later. (it kind of bothers me that I couldn't 'fit' it into this chaper.) Once again thanks for reading.

- Ms. Gatsby