Affaire De Coeur

I tap my fingers anxiously against the armrest of my seat. My mind swells with images of him. Has he cut his hair? Gotten a tan? Started wearing baggy jeans and tee shirts?

I haven't seen him in five months. Five whole months is what it has taken to finally discover a date in which we could both meet. Do you know what this has done to me?

Not seeing his robin eggs blue eyes. Not running my hands through his bright blonde hair. Not being able to glide my hand over his soft skin. Its kills me, pains me to the point of where I have a hard time keeping my emotions in check.

I miss his smile, his touch, the way he looks at me. As if I am the only person who matters. The only person he wants to see.

I miss the way he holds me. Arms embracing me tight, every inch of him plastered to me. As if he wants to take in a memory of how it is to have me in his arms. So that he has something to remember, something to think about on those lonely nights when he isn't really alone.

I miss the way he always smells like ink, from a newspaper, a book, a pen that his hand grips as he jots down poetry, lyrics, scripts. Anything that sparks his creative imagination. The hint of coffee you can always smell on his breath because he drinks so much not even Listerine could diminish it. The starchy smell of his neat button-up shirts. I sit here and I pray he still dresses the same for I think I would be on the verge of tears if I could not press my nose to his chest and smell that fresh clean scent of his shirt.

I sigh deeply and the elderly woman next to me gives me a strange look.

"Honey, is something the matter?" she asks.

I shake my head and smile politely.

"Are you meeting someone?" she asks knowingly.

I nod and smile brightly.

She smiles back at me. "You're positively glowing. You love this man?"

"I do," I whisper.

She notices the ring on my finger and pulls it up examining it. "Your fiancée?"

Technically.

I nod again. I don't feel like talking about my situation, secret as it is. I sincerely don't want a disapproving look from someone who doesn't know me. It's positively none of her business that I do not love the man who gave me the conventional diamond ring she is now examining. A circular diamond, golden band, nothing special.

My heart belongs to the man who gave me the canary yellow diamond ring I wear on my right ring finger. Square cut, brushed silver band, spectacularly unique.

The woman frowns when she notices my other ring.

"Oh, darling, your rings don't match at all," she says frowning.

I grin at the thought.

The plane lands and my heart begins to pound with excitement, fear, anticipation. Excited to see him. Scared he isn't the same that he looks different, acts different, smells different. Afraid he hasn't shown up at all. Unable to get away, escape. I have anticipated this very moment, dreamt of this very moment, for five months. I have lived for this moment.

I smooth out my black woolen mini dress and the black tights beneath, slipping my feet back into my shiny black pumps. I adjust my long curly hair as I slip on my cardigan and a floppy cherry red crotched cap.

The people in front of me start moving towards the front of the plane and I eagerly push forward, clutching my leather handbag to my chest.

Is he wearing his ring? The one from me. Do we have plans? Or are we staying in? The night that lies ahead me is unpredictable and this exhilarates me.

Outside the windows of the plane, the sky is dark yet white snow flutters down. A perfect backdrop for our long awaited reunion.

I am finally off the plane. I walk down the long ramp towards the door that leads me to him.

I push through the doors and walk a little ways out, my eyes scanning the mob of people feverishly.

A pair of electric blue eyes blazes out of the crowd and I've found him.

I drink him in. His blonde hair is short and spiky, just the way I like it. His skin, pale and creamy. Thank the lord. His skin is so flawless. I love his white as snow complexion. I wouldn't have him any other way.

He's wearing a white button up shirt, tan slacks, brown shoes. A black coat envelopes him and a long green scarf winds around his neck. He looks perfect. He looks the same.

He spots me and the most beautiful smile takes shape on his face.

I run to him, curls flying, clutching my hat with my hand to keep it from falling off and he stands there eyes shining, smile dashing, strong arms wide open, waiting for me.

I jump into them, crying and laughing at the same time and he spins me around a few times, clearly happy I am here.

He gently places me on the floor and I don't allow him to let me go. I wrap my arms around his waist and lean into him heavily, inhaling the smell of his shirt. Starch, soap, clean, fresh.

He rubs his hands up and down my back soothingly and whispers into my ear, My Ella.

I smell coffee on his breath and my heart rejoices. He's the same, exactly the same.

I move my arms, wrapping them around his neck and pull him into a searing kiss. He responds immediately and his hands brace my back tenderly.

I pull away and smile, tears shining in my eyes. "I missed you so much," I say and I lift his right hand up, twisting the silver band on his right ring finger, thrilled that its there.

He kisses my forehead and wipes away my tears with an ink-smeared thumb. "Shhhh," he whispers. "I'm here now."

I peck his lips and wrap my arms around him, feeling every muscle in his back.

People milling about the crowded airport smile down at us, thinking oh how innocent, how sweet, a couple in love.

Yet, what we have is far from innocent. Far from what's right. But it feels so right. It feels damn right.

I start to unravel his scarf and he smirks, chuckling slightly.

"Already undressing me?" he asks teasingly, quirking one perfectly shaped brow. "An airport filled with minors is hardly appropriate."

I give him a wry grin and press my nose to his neck. Same cologne. I kiss his throat.

"Gabby," he warns.

"Ok, ok, I'll stop" I say and entwine my hand with his.

"Save the passion for later," he whispers into my ear coolly. I get chills. You have no idea how long I have waited for this.

I push my mind to other thoughts as he wishes.

"Where are we going?" I ask, hardly able to contain my joy.

He kisses my hand all over, lingering on the ring he gave me. "To get a bite to eat. You didn't bring any luggage did you?"

"No," I say. "Just me."

"Good. You're all I need," he says sincerely. He pauses and cracks a mysterious grin, adding, "Besides, I like the thrill of having only the clothes on our backs. There's something exhilarating about having to wear the same clothes twice in a row."

"Don't remind me," I murmur sadly. "Only twice."

He brings a finger to my lips, quieting me. "Don't speak of that. We won't speak of what little time we have. We're in New York! We have to live in this moment, get the most we can out of the coming hours."

I nod and he drops his finger, smiling. "You look breathtakingly beautiful."

Color rushes to my cheeks. Isn't it silly, after all these years of knowing him that he still makes me blush?

"You're the same," I whisper happily, as he wraps an arm around me, steering me towards the exit. "Exactly the same."

We'll both be leaving the next day. Have to be home for the holidays. We'll both narrowly make it, only their hours before it's officially Christmas day.

Our excuse: business. Damn bosses. Its too bad we won't be there, all of Christmas Eve.

For the next twenty-four hours we choose to ignore the unappealing rings that adorn our left ring fingers. We concentrate on the beautiful ones we wear with no regret, with love.

Because two people having a dangerous affair can be in love. Love is love no matter the circumstances.

This was an idea that came to me and I had to get it out of my system. Its kinda getting me out of my writer's block, so expect updates on my other stories soon. I promise!

Don't know how long it will be. For now its T could turn to an M, not sure what I'm planning to do. We'll see.

Clarifications: Ryan and Gabriella are 26. Gabriella's engaged, Ryan is married. It's the day before Christmas Eve and neither live in NY. It was their meeting spot. They have known each other since high school. There could be flashbacks possibly.

Hope you enjoyed this. Thanks for reading!