Curled up with her arms wrapped tightly around her as if in an attempt to hold her heart in, Isabella shakes and tears threaten to fall as she once again fights them off and thinks back to a year ago.
1 Year
Only 1 year.
Back when love was just a 4 letter word. She hadn't opened her heart to anyone. She had plenty of boyfriends, just always on the outside wall. None could penetrate the wall to make it through to her heart. She never showed pain, sadness, or love. Just calm, happy, hesitant manner. When something hurt, she dismissed it off to the appearance while it beat her inside. Love didn't mean a thing, it didn't exist.
I'm not the type to get my heart broken
I'm not the type to get upset and cry
'cause I never leave my heart open
Never hurts me to say goodbye
Relationships don't get deep to me
Never got the whole in love thing
And someone can say they love me truly
But at the time it didn't mean a thing
That was before Matt showed up.
Before the black haired, brown eyed, rebel hopped her wall and sent an arrow piercing through her heart. He hopped right over it like it wasn't even there. But then again hopping fences is what he's best at.
The boy who skipped classes, left school when he felt like it, ran from the police practically every night for some reason or another, defaced public property, with his trademark smirk.
Matt.
Isabella buries her head into her pillow feeling the tears inside slowly start to fill her insides to where eventually she would flood over or drown.
Memories of her times with Matt float through her head harassing her.
The bad boy and the good girl.
How cliche.
-Memory-
Matt races around the corner the spray paint can still clutched in his hand as he runs head on into a brown haired girl.
-
Matt comes racing around the corner straight into Isabella who notices the can in his hand and hears a shriek, "Get back here ! I know it was you!"
I look of panic crosses his features and he tries to find an escape. The moment of panic flashes his innocence and fear he that he normally has hidden. The one little glimpse into the feel Matt, makes Isabella grab the can from his hands and shoves it in her backpack. Confusion etches into Matt's face but quickly disappears as rounds the corner.
"Alright I know you did it! I saw the can! It's right there in your-" Mr. Jones looks at Matt's now empty hands and glances around looking for it. His gaze rests on Isabella for a moment before looking back to Matt.
"I swear I saw you with the can!" he accuses. He turns back to Isabella. "Isabella Bell. Honor student, class Representative, National Honor Society, all around good student. You wouldn't lie to me, where did but the can?"
Isabella makes a look of confusion cross her face as she answers, "Can? Matt didn't have a can when he came around the corner."
Now completely confused looks between the two and shakes his head, "I know Matthew had something in his hand. would i have to assume one of the top students at the school is lying to me?"
"Oooh, you mean this?" Isabella says reaching into her backpack, Matt stiffening next to her. She pulls out a silver thermos.
His eyes glaze over as he looks at the thermos the exact size and color of a can of spray paint. He then rises his eyebrow and asks, "Why did Matthew have your thermos? Do you two even know each other?"
Isabella a loss for thoughts but quickly is saved by Matt, "I had her thermos because i was emptying it for her. She's my girlfriend of course we know each other," Matt says wrapping his arm around Isabella, "Right my Izzy?" he asks nuzzling her head.
"R-right," Isabella stutters as Matt's touch sends a jolt of electricity through her body, she clears her head and continues, "My Matty baby is always so sweet to me," she giggles softly playing up the role.
' eyes all but pop out of his head at the words he is hearing.
His top honor student and the punk that can't seem to stay out of trouble for one day?
He gives Isabella his best "You could do so much better" eyes and apologizes, "I'm sorry and , seems like we had a misunderstanding. I should know better than to question my best student, and her...her..."
"Boyfriend," Matt finishes for him his grip tightening on Isabella.
"Yes boyfriend," says letting the sour note of the words grace his features. "Well Isabella, maybe you can keep young Matthew out of my office for more then a day," he chuckles and waves goodbye to them.
After disappears from sight Matt hugs Isabella as tight as he can, "I love you so fucking much right now i could kiss you!" he exclaims setting her down. "You're a life saver," he smiles at her the her slightly frowns. "But why did you help me?"
Isabella swallows and looks into his eyes, "I don't know...something made me do it."
"Something made you lie for me too?" he asks his brows creasing.
"Ya... i guess," she shrugs.
"Well thanks," he says shocking himself at the word.
"Thanks? Did i just hear Matt Hardy say thanks? Now that is a miracle!" she laughs.
He grins and replies, "I'm not all that bad of a guy, once you get to know me you find that out. Hey, is gonna be looking out for me and my girlfriend, we need to work on our acting. How about maybe a little trip to the movies with me tonight beautiful?" Matt asks settling into his flirting zone.
She rises her eyebrow and looks at him, "Are you asking me out on a date?"
"What if i am?" he asks rising his eyebrow back.
"I'd say yes, well that is if you were asking. But judging by the maybe, i guess it's a no," she says turning away.
She feels a hand touch her shoulder and she spins around.
"Alright I'm asking you out on a date. Will you go to the movies with me tonight? Izzy?" he says grinning.
"Sure, Matty," she laughs.
"Now that, is gonna have to stop Izzy," he replies laughing putting his arm around her as they start walking down the hall.
-Current Time-
Isabella's whole body shakes begging to release the tears that she keeps holding in her thoughts still on him.
My mind is gone, I'm spinning round
And deep inside, my tears I'll drown
I'm losing grip, what's happening
I stray from love, this is how I feel
This time was different
His beautiful brown eyes flush in her mind. That devilish grin he gets when he comes up with his newest scheme.
Suddenly the day of their break up starts to play in her mind and she clutches her chest as her heart pounds in protest.
-Memory-
"Izzy!" Matt yells running up behind her hugging her tight and kisses her head, "Been looking for you everywhere!"
"Well now you found me," she chuckles, "You need something baby?"
"Well i wanted to tell you something, but mostly i just wanted to do this," he says then kisses her softly.
Izzy smiles at him and responds, "So what did you want to tell me?"
"Oh ya, this weekend me, Jeff, and Shane are driving up to New Jersey for a wrestling promoter," he smiles widely, "We're gonna make it i can just feel it!"
Isabella hugs him and tight and replies, "You three are amazing you are gonna make for sure, I'll be rooting for ya!" Then she recognizes a smell on his skin. "Paint?"
Matt turns red and looks away.
"Matt what did you do n-" she tries to ask getting cut off by,
"Hardy! Where are you!?" streaming from down the hall.
"I'll explain later," he laughs,"I'll see you Sunday," he presses his lips to hers and whispers, "I love you baby," and races off down the hall just as turns the corner his face bright red.
He spots Isabella, "Where is that boyfriend of yours!?"
"I don't know, i was talking to him a few minutes ago but he had go," she replies.
narrows his eyes at her but doesn't question her further, instead takes off down the opposite hall Matt had taken. She laughs to herself imagining what her boyfriend had done now.
-Memory Next Day Late Night-
Isabella is lying on her bed when the house phone rings which she ignores as usually because it normally doesn't concern her. A few minutes later her mother walks in the room with a grim expression on her face.
"Honey I need you to come out to the living room for a moment," she says taking her daughter's arm.
Isabella plops down on the couch and asks, "So what's up?"
Her mother remains silent but flips the tv on.
"Now on the 6 o clock news, 3 Carolina teen boys involved in an accident just south of the New Jersey border. Their car shown here," a blue civic appears on the screen Isabella's heart freezes at the sight of the car that looks exactly like Matt's but dismisses it quickly and continues to listen. "Was totalled when a truck driver lost control and ran into the teens' vehicle. One teen did not survive the accident while the other two are in critical condition in South Jersey Hospital. The names of the two boys in care have been released as Jeffrey Hardy and Greggory Helms. The name of the teen that did not survive the accident has been released as Matthew Hardy. Now back to the studio."
Isabella's heart thumping widly and her body froze trying to take in the information. When they say the name of the teen that died, she screams out in pain and falls to the floor tears threatning to fall as the feeling of a knief drives through her.
Felt like, I was just a victim
And it cut me like a knife
When you walked out of my life
Now I'm, in this condition
And I've, got all the symptoms
Of a girl with a broken heart
But no matter what you'll never see me cry
-Now-
The knife still sticking in her heart burns as the memories continue to wash over her.
Their first kiss, sweet and slow and soon became hard and passionate their lips locked.
All the time they had spent together, the love they shared, it didn't matter anymore.
Did it happen when we first kissed?
'cause it's hurting me to let it go
Maybe 'cause we spent so much time
And I know that it's no more
She shudders at the thought of his touch.
It's gone, all gone. She keeps telling herself.
He stole her heart and held it tight
until that one night
an accident stole her light.
I should've never let you hold me baby
Maybe why I'm sad to see us apart
I didn't give to you on purpose
Can't figure out how you stole my heart
How did i fall in love with him? She asks herself all the time.
"His stupid fun ideas, stupid adorable backwards hat, stupid loose basketball jerseys, stupid brown eyes that make me melt, stupid cute grin, stupid hot athletic body, stupid wrestling" she says, "Why do i have to love him?"
"Stupid, stupid stupid. Stupid me," she hides her face in her pillow.
How did I get here with you, I'll never know?
I never meant to let it get so, personal
And after all I tried to do, to stay away from loving you
I'm broken heart and I can't let you know
And I won't let it show
You won't see me cry
She continues to lie there the pillow smashed against her face making it harder to breath. The water continues to pour in her as her breathing slows as she starts to slip below the surface.
This time was different
Felt like, I was just a victim
And it cut me like a knife
When you walked out of my life
Now I'm, in this condition
And I've, got all the symptoms
Of a girl with a broken heart
But no matter what you'll never see me cry
His voice welcomes her as she exits her world to be with him. Her very last thoughts, "I love him for
All my life...