STANDARD LEGAL DISCLAIMER/AUTHOR'S NOTE: SAILOR MOON AIN'T MINE NEVER HAS BEEN NEVER WILL BE. SAILOR MOON WAS CREATED BY NAOKO TAKEUCHI. THIS FANFIC IS YURI SO IF YOU'RE OFFENDED BY SHOUJO-AI/YURI THEN DON'T READ OTHERWISE I HOPE YOU ENJOY. THERE MIGHT BE A SLICE OF LIME IN SOME PLACES.
THE HEARTBREAK OF MIZUNO AMI
BY: INVID HELLCAT (3/6/13)
It was a slow day as school was closed for Golden Week and none of the Senshi had any plans. Ami Mizuno sat alone at her dining room table having finished her breakfast. She had already finished nearly all of her homework for the week, and decided that she deserved a break from studying. She got up and stretched then headed for her bedroom to grab a change of clothes, then went to her bathroom for a quick shower.
As Ami was in the shower her thoughts drifted to what her friends might be doing. She guessed that Usagi was still asleep, Rei was more than likely getting ready for a busy day at the shrine, Minako was, like Usagi, also asleep still, and then there was Makoto, Ami could feel a blush on her cheeks as she thought about the tall brown-haired, green-eyed beauty. Of all the Senshi Makoto was her best friend, but she couldn't deny that her feelings went deeper than that. She had a pretty big crush on her to be totally honest she was in love with her, but she was too shy to say anything, shy and afraid that she'd lose her best friend so Ami had decided to love from afar.
What Ami didn't know was that Minako had spent the night with Makoto. She was also unaware of the events of the previous night. Makoto and Minako had decided to make their relationship official. At the moment the two new lovers were sitting on the couch Minako sitting on Makoto's lap. They were telling each other how great it was to finally admit what had been in their hearts for so long. To both of them it felt like a weight had been lifted off their shoulders. They were also trying to think of a way to tell their friends. Not they were scared of their friends reactions after all they had no problem with Haruka and Michiru, but they couldn't help but be nervous about such an announcement, just normal human nature after all.
Ami finished her shower and got dressed. She decided to go to a local park and just walk around for a bit while trying to make up her mind about what to do. It was wonderful day outside, not too hot not too cold. The sky was clear. As Ami walked around she noticed children playing, a few couples were also walking around. Ami knew she was blushing again as her thoughts drifted back towards Makoto, she imagined herself and Makoto walking hand in hand. She shook her head to clear her thoughts. She heard a voice from behind she recognized. She turned to see Naru, Usagi's childhood friend.
"Ami-chan, how are you?" She asked. Ami hoped that the blush was no longer on her face as she started to answer. "I'm doing fine Naru-chan. How are you doing?" She replied as calmly as her thoughts would allow.
Naru answered that she was doing fine and then asked Ami what she was doing. Ami told her she just out for a brief walk trying to think of something to do for the day. Naru nodded and said she understood since she too had no plans since Umino was out-of-town visiting family. The two talked for a few minutes longer before they went their separate ways. Ami was grateful for the distraction. Maybe she should go and visit Makoto and finally admit how she really feels. At that thought Ami could feel her stomach start to churn, she tried to convince herself that not saying anything was better, even though Makoto had no problem with finding out about the relationship of Haruka and Michiru that didn't mean that she'd be ok with a girl being in love with her personally. No, Ami couldn't say anything it just wasn't worth the risk. "Better to have something than nothing." Ami said under breath. Then started to walk back home, but she stopped and changed direction and headed to Makoto's apartment. At least she could spend part of the day and be close to the one she loved, who knows maybe things would work out and she'd spend the night.
In Makoto's apartment Makoto and Minako were still sitting on the couch talking over what they should do, how happy they were, and how nervous they were about telling their friends. Even though they knew they shouldn't be. Makoto was slowly moving her right hand up and down Minako's right arm. Minako gave a contented sigh. She couldn't for the life of her remember when the last time she felt this happy was, or this warm and safe. Just sitting on the couch in the arms of the girl she loved, this was pure bliss, the blue-eyed girl was sure this indeed was heaven on earth. The two girls looked into each others eyes and held the other's gaze. No words were spoken yet in this wordless exchange more was said than they could've said with their voices.
As Ami was walking towards Makoto's apartment she stopped briefly in front of a clothing store when a forest green sundress caught her eye. Ami was thinking about how cute Makoto would look in it 'Maybe I'll buy that for her, for her birthday.' She thought to herself as she then continued on her way. It just seemed hopeless now, Ami had to wonder how much longer she could go on just loving from afar before it drove her crazy, but she had to remain strong. She wasn't going to risk one of the best friendships she'd ever had in her life.
In Makoto's apartment the two lovers had rearranged some furniture and turned some soft music on and were sharing a dance. Both girls had the same thought that they had never been happier in their lives. When the song they had been dancing to ended, they looked at each other in the eyes and kissed. After they broke the kiss Makoto whispered into Minako's ear asking her if she wanted another dance. Minako said that she did. A new song started and the two started a second dance. Had anybody been able to look on them, it would appear that couple had found true paradise in each others arms.
Ami couldn't help but crack a smile as Makoto's apartment complex came into view. She reached into her shorts pocket to make sure she had the spare key that Makoto had given her. Her smile widened slightly when she remembered the day that Makoto had given her the key.
Six Months Earlier:
"Ami-chan, could you come over here for a second?" She heard Makoto call her. Ami walked over to where Makoto was standing wondering what her friend could want.
"Yes, Mako-chan? What is it?" Ami asked as she walked over to Makoto, for some reason her heart was pounding in her chest. She had no idea why she felt so anxious this was her best friend after all. She saw her nearly every day, yet it felt in many ways that she was meeting her for the first time. So, why all the nervous energy all of a sudden? She'd have to figure this out later.
"I just wanted to give you a spare key to my apartment." Makoto said as she handed the key over to her smaller blue haired friend. "After all, my home is my friends' home too." Makoto added with a smile.
Ami felt like her whole body was trembling not just her hand as she reached out and took the key. Her face felt hot all of a sudden when her fingertips slightly brushed Makoto's hand. Ami now was feeling light headed and mildly dizzy. Her heart felt could beat out of her ribcage at any second, and her throat felt like she hadn't a drink all day. 'What's wrong with me? Am I sick?' She thought to herself. Ami did her best to put a smile on her face, and find her voice.
"Thank you Mako-chan, I'll keep it safe." Ami said barely above whisper.
Makoto looked at Ami with a bit of concern on her face. "You feeling o.k. Ami-chan your face is all red." She said as she put her hand on Ami's forehead just in case her friend had a fever. Ami only nodded, but Makoto didn't seem convinced. She then took Ami's hand and stated walking her to the School Nurse's Office.
Present Day:
Ami still couldn't believe it but after talking everything over with the school nurse she finally realized that she was in love with the tall green-eyed, brunette. She was in love with her best friend, but she just knew that she could only love her in secret, she was so frightened that she'd lose everything if she so much as hinted that she might have feelings beyond those of friendship for Makoto. "It's fine I love her, and she loves me too, only in a different way. But, she does love me and that's what really counts." Ami whispered to herself as she climbed the stairs towards the apartment of the girl she loved nearly more than life itself.
Minako and Makoto had finished their dancing and were now laying on Makoto's couch. Makoto holding Minako from behind. Occasionally planting kisses on top of the blonde's head. All the while exchanging soft whispers of love and adoration. Both girls just wished that time could stop so they would never have to separate again. They still had music playing in the background. In a way Makoto had to laugh to herself after all the boys in her life that she had crushes on, she winds up falling in love with a girl. Yes, she was excited about this new development, but also nervous. This really was the first time she really truly knew she was in love. She had a feeling in the back of her mind that the first person she should tell was Ami, after all Ami was best friend. She knew that Ami would be happy for her, for them.
Just on the other side of the door Ami hesitated. She brought her hand up to knock on Makoto's door but it wouldn't stop shaking. Her knees felt weak like she could crumple to the ground at any second. Her heart was racing like never before. Ami took in several deep breaths reminding herself that she was only visiting her best friend nothing more. Reminding herself that this was just like every other time she had been over in the past, nothing was going to happen, even though she desperately wanted something to happen. Finally after one last deep breath she managed to calm herself down enough to knock on the door.
Because of the music playing neither Makoto nor Minako heard the soft knock on the door, nor the slightly louder one after that. The two young lovers were too lost in each others company to notice much of anything anyways. They also didn't hear the front door open and Ami call out Makoto's name.
After Ami let herself in and failed to get a response from calling to Makoto, she at first guessed that she wasn't home until she heard the music coming from the living room. 'Guess she didn't hear anything over the music.' Ami thought then walked into the living room, and into the single most heartbreaking scene that she had ever seen. Laying on top of Makoto was Minako. Ami blushed when she realized where Makoto's hand was, she also felt tears start to fall down her cheeks. She just stood there for a few seconds not moving and not saying anything. Only feeling her heart shatter and her thoughts race.
'Mako-chan no! Why? Why isn't that me you're touching like that? Why isn't me that you're kissing like that? Why am I not the one you're holding? Why is not me that you're in love with? Why not? WHY NOT ME?!' Ami's thoughts silently screamed as more tears were spilling out of her eyes. Finally Ami couldn't look on any more she just turned silently and headed out the door. She had no idea whether or not she was seen, and at this point she really didn't care. Her mind was racing so much and the tears blurring her vision so much she could hardly tell which way she was going. Ami took off her glasses to clean them of the tear stains and to dry her eyes. She realized that she was at a bus stop fortunately nobody was around her. She sat down on the bench and gazed at the route number and map. She noticed that the next bus should be coming in less than five minutes and the route went right by the Outer Senshi's apartment building. She remembered hearing that the Outers didn't have any special plans for Golden Week that they just planed on staying home and enjoying some down time as a family for once. Ami checked her wallet she had more than enough money on her for the bus fare, but she also noticed that she no longer had the key to Makoto's apartment, she figured she must've dropped it when saw Makoto and Minako together.
Reluctantly Makoto and Minako let go of each other, and got up off the couch to head to the kitchen for something to eat. Minako noticed something on the floor, and bent down to pick it up. "Mako-chan did you drop a key earlier?" The blonde asked her girlfriend.
Makoto answered that she hadn't at least that she was aware of. Minako then showed her the key she found on the floor. Some of the color drained from Makoto's face before she spoke. There was only one person that had that key, ice-blue with a silver star on it. "Mina-chan, I gave this key to Ami, a few months ago. Could she have seen us?" Makoto replied. But, what troubled Makoto was if Ami had seen them where was she now, and what was she thinking?
The more Makoto thought about it the more she guessed that Ami must've left due to her own shyness and a fair amount of surprise, but why did she leave the key behind? That was the troubling part of this. Makoto made it a point that the next time she saw Ami she'd make sure that they had a talk about what happened. She had a feeling Ami was fine and she just needed some time to recover from her shock at seeing two of closest friends in a rather intimate position, and they all knew from experience that Ami was easily embarrassed by anything remotely related to love. But, there was also a small nagging feeling in the back of her head that not everything was all right. Makoto was sure that they should've told Ami first, but having her find out like this was not at all what she wanted.
Ami got off the bus she had ridden, and made the brief walk over to the apartment complex of the Outer Senshi. Her mind was still very much a mass of confused thoughts, and conflicting emotions. When she got to Haruka and Michiru's apartment she had mostly collected herself. She rang the bell, and waited she didn't get an answer. Ami decided to check to see if they were at the pool.
Walking towards the pool area Ami thought to herself somewhat jokingly that she should've brought her bathing suit with her. When she got to the pool she noticed that Michiru was laying in one of the chairs she couldn't see anybody else around. Ami felt a wave of relief wash over her when saw the teal-haired girl. Her trip wasn't for naught after all. She walked over to where Michiru was lounging and called to her.
"Michiru, hello." Ami said her voice still somewhat shaky. Michiru looked at who was calling her a look of mild surprise on her face when she saw it was Ami, but one look at her face one could also see a hint of concern for her friend as well.
"Ami, this is something of a surprise, what brings you to my neck of the woods?" Michiru answered as she greeted the other girl.
Ami took in a breath before she replied. Her eyes were threatening to tear up again. "I… I just need somebody to talk to." Ami said, once again tears started spilling down her cheeks. On instinct she hugged the older girl as she began to cry heavily again not caring about getting her clothes wet from hugged the still damp Michiru.
Michiru was shocked by this her concern skyrocketed, granted her and Ami weren't the closest of friends, but she was still a friend. She was afraid something truly catastrophic had occurred. She gently put her arms around the smaller girl until she settled down enough to speak. Finally Ami had calmed down Michiru asked her if she wanted to talk now or go somewhere more private. Ami replied she'd prefer some privacy. The two walked back to Haruka and Michiru's apartment.
Once inside Michiru offered Ami some tea to drink. Ami accepted politely. The two sat down at the dining room table and started to talk about what was going on.
"I have to wonder Ami why you're not talking to one of the others since they know you better than I do." Michiru started trying not to sound offensive or stand-offish.
"I know but, in some ways it concerns the others," Ami said her voice starting to break slightly. She took a deep breath and a sip of tea before she continued. "Well, Makoto and Minako anyways." Ami let her eyes fall to the floor after she said that. Ami was also sure that she must've had at least a slight blush on her face too.
Michiru closely studied Ami's words and body language, the tone of voice she used, the blush, the aversion of her eyes, she was pretty sure she was starting to get the picture but she wanted to be sure, so she asked Ami exactly what she meant by it involved Makoto and Minako. As far as the teal-haired girl knew Ami and Makoto were best friends, closer than any of the Inner Senshi, besides Usagi and Rei, even if they'd never openly admit it. That and both she and Haruka had a suspicion that maybe the reason why Ami and Makoto were so close was one had a crush on the other, or maybe it was mutual.
Ami recounted her day up to the point where she had visited Makoto's apartment. Making sure to add every detail that she felt was relevant. Then she told Michiru that she had let herself in when she didn't get an answer.
Michiru interrupted Ami, so her guess was right Ami did have feelings for Makoto, but apparently Makoto had eyes for Minako, and now Ami was heartbroken.
"Ami when you said that you saw Makoto and Minako were they having …" Ami quickly cut off Michiru before she could finish the sentence. "NO, NO, no they weren't going that far, but far enough." Ami said still not looking at Michiru.
Michiru looked at Ami for a few seconds before saying anything else. She could never remember seeing the girl so fragile looking as she was now. Michiru almost hated herself for even thinking to ask her next question, but she felt it was important to do so. "Ami, do you plan on staying friends with Makoto after this?" She hoped the question didn't seem as harsh as it had sounded her in mind.
"Of course, I will, she's my best friend, has been since we met. I mean it's not like she cheated on me or anything, she doesn't even knew how I feel, I never told her. It's just I'm so jealous of Minako, and angry at myself for never having the courage to say anything." Ami said as her eyes once again started to tear up. Ami removed her glasses and dabbed at her eyes with a napkin. She felt a hand on her shoulder and looked up in the eyes of Michiru.
"Ami, don't worry, so Makoto didn't work out, but trust me you'll find somebody. After all, you're cute, smart, and very kind, sometimes to a fault I think. So, sooner or later somebody will come along that will love in the way you deserve to be loved." Michiru stated never letting her eyes wander from Ami's.
Ami just wordlessly nodded her head. In both her head and her heart she knew that Michiru was right, she would find somebody eventually, but that didn't do anything to dull the pain of the heartbreak she was feeling now. In time maybe the pain will fade, but for now she'll just have to find a way to deal with it.
Michiru took Ami into a loose hug, when she didn't get a verbal response. 'Poor girl, she's completely torn up over this, can't say I blame her though after what she's gone through I'd think most anybody would be in the same boat.' The teal-haired girl thought to herself. She then told Ami that if she needed anybody to talk to about this that she was always free to talk to Haruka and herself. Ami thanked Michiru saying at least for the next couple days she might need all the help she can get.
"I know this sounds kind of silly given the situation, but may I ask you something Michiru?" Ami said after she had let go of the hug. Michiru told her that she should feel free to ask anything.
"If…if you and Haruka weren't dating, would you… date me?" Ami asked her voice nothing more than a shy whisper. She was stunned that she had even thought of the question to begin with. She tried to wave the question off, but Michiru answered it anyways.
"Well, to be honest Ami, I think the answer is yes. I don't think it's any big secret that Haruka has a crush on Usagi, and to be honest I do have a bit of a crush on you." Michiru answered honestly, then added. "Ami, not because of what I just said but I really would like us to become better friends."
"Yes, I would like that too. I've never really allowed myself to make many friends before I met Usagi." Ami said then for first time since everything began she smiled. Michiru smiled back and told her that it good to see Ami smiling, she was much cuter that way.
After having lunch Ami started on her way back home, feeling one-hundred percent better. So, her first love sort of petered out, but she knew that there would be others, she knew that the pain would sting for a while, but soon enough she'd get over it. She couldn't help but have a feeling in her gut that she'd wind up talking to Makoto and Minako very soon, but they were her friends, and if they were happy she was going to be happy for them. She wasn't sure if she'd ever get over her feelings for Makoto, but she won't let them be a stumbling block either. No matter what it was going be a bumpy road, but wasn't that life? Ups and downs, peaks and valleys. Ami recalled some words she had heard, that sometimes we have to go through a short-term pain for a long-term gain. "What doesn't kill me only makes me stronger." Ami said to herself.
THE END.
End Notes: Been too long since I've written anything, so it feels good to finally get something started and finished. Yes, I know it's more of a Haruhi Suzumiya title than a Sailor Moon title but it was all I could come up with. Anyways I hope that you enjoyed this ball of yarn I spun. Anyways please read and review. Take care until next we meet. Invid HellCat (3/14/13)