A Fate Worse Than Death
Author's Note: Don't take this seriously. I was up late stuck doing a report, and I was majorly stuck. This was just a result of me having some pent-up energy. -Robin Wright
We come on the scene to see Malon sitting at her computer. She is staring blankly at the screen, and there are books strewn all about the desk before her. Her hair is a mess, and she is rocking back and forth, mumbling to herself. There is a knock at the door.
"Hello? Hello? Is anyone home?" The voice coming through the door is definitely that of a male. It has a concerned tone. There is more pounding on the door, but Malon still does not move. The pounding finally stops, and the door slowly creaks open.
"Hello? Is anyone home?" Link's blonde head pops in, and he looks about. He spots Malon in her trance before the glowing screen.
"Hey, Malon, are you busy?" She does not answer, and Link realizes what is going on.
"Oh no! Not you too!!" He rushes over to her side and turns the computer off. Malon blinks once, twice, then screams.
"AAHHHH!!!! WHAT DID YOU JUST DO?!?!?!" She tackles Link and tries to strangle him. Link wrestles her off and holds her to the floor.
"Malon! I had no choice!!"
"It's gone, it's gone! It's all gone!!" Link shakes her by the shoulders.
"Snap out of it!" Malon continues to moan.
"This is worse than I've ever seen. I can't believe this. How many more will it take?!!" Link picks her up and slings her over his shoulder. He warps out to Lake Hylia, where he throws Malon in the cold water.
"EEK!!" Link retrieves her and helps her walk to the shore.
"Where am I?"
"You are at the lake."
"What happened? Why am I here, and why do my eyes hurt?"
"You were doing too much homework. The computer screen was frying your brain." Malon gasps in disbelief.
"How did you know to help me?"
"The same happened to Zelda."
"Yes, she's in the same class as me."
"What class would that be?"
"Advanced Placement English IV. We have been studying authors lately, and we had to do a big report."
"How can anyone be so cruel as to give such a nerve wracking and sleep depriving assignment?!"
"I don't know, but Mrs. Mac didn't seem to mind!"
"Hey, that almost rhymed!"
"Ugh! Now I'm speaking in verse!!!"
"You need sleep, Malon."
"I know." Malon falls over asleep in Link's strong awaiting arms. He takes her back to the ranch, and types the report for her as she sleeps.
The next day, Malon turns the report in, having no memory of the previous night. She receives an A on her report, but knows she still has an oral report left to write. EEK!!!
It is very late now, so this author has decided to end this stupid and pointless fic right here. She is going to bed to dream about all of the evil English teachers in the world who must assign such awful and lengthily reports to their poor, defenseless students.
The author realizes that there is only one fate worse than death, and that is......
ENGLISH HOMEWORK!!!!!!