Iris

The following is an excerpt from 'Iris' by The Goo Goo Dolls (remember them?)

And I'd give up forever to touch you

Cuz I know that you feel me somehow

You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be

And I don't want to go home right now

" I still can't believe that you're a Celtics fan. They're like the shittiest team ever!"

" Hey watch your mouth." Roman Reigns pointed his slice of pepperoni pizza at Dean Ambrose. " They are a whole lot better than you're goddamn Clippers."

Dean paused from taking a sip of his beer. " All I'm saying is that in the last quarter they only made two rebounds. How the hell can you back a team that is so awful?"

Roman responded while chewing his pizza. " They were just having an off quarter that's all. Maybe if your guys practised some more offense then maybe they would score some points to actually beat us."

" Man whatever." Dean got up from the couch and went into his kitchen while Roman continued to watch the game on television.

It was a Friday night ritual where Dean, Roman and Seth would gather normally at Dean's home and catch up on the games that they had missed during the week while they worked for the WWE. It was more than just a game night. It gave them a chance to catch up on their lives and to just unwind after having a usually physically demanding week. However tonight Seth had opted out and had gone on a date with some new chick that he had met last week. So it was just Dean and Roman, two single bachelors who neither cared about their status nor about settling down anytime soon.

Dean tossed the empty beer bottle in the garbage can and then walked over to the refridgerator and pulled the door opened.

" Fuck."

" What's wrong?" Roman called from the couch.

" We're outta beer!"

" Well bring me a soda." Dean grabbed two soda cans from the fridge and walked back to the living room.

He plopped down on the couch and tossed one of the cans to Roman who caught it deftly.

Dean watched as Roman expertly popped the can of soda while his dark brown eyes never left the tv screen. He stared as Roman brought the can up to his full smooth lips taking a generous sip. His gaze travelled over Roman's symmetrically handsome face to where his long wavy hair brushed the shoulders of his grey t-shirt. The grey t-shirt that encased his well developed muscular body. Dean realized that he had been staring for a bit too long and shifted his gaze to the coffee table in front of him. He didn't want Roman to get suspicious and ask him what he was doing. Fuck. He himself didn't know what he was doing. All he knew was that over the past few months, he was slowing accepting that he was indeed attracted to Roman. It wasn't even a mild attraction or a fleeting crush. Everytime he saw him, he just had a burning desire to just reach out and touch him. To take his time and savour the feel of his skin under his fingertips. To run his hands all over Roman's tan coloured body uninhibited. If he was being completely honest with himself, he wanted even more than that. He wanted to kiss him, to make love to him until he was exhausted. At first these desires scared him and he tried to close off his mind to them but they always came back. He would be working out, driving somewhere but it didn't matter. A fantasy of Roman would always pop into his mind. He had longed considered sexuality to be a structured thing. A person was either straight, gay or bisexual. Those were the boxes and a person had to tick one of them. Maybe sexuality wasn't so structured as he thought. Maybe it was a bit more fluid and and everyone was at a different point on the course. He didn't really think too much about it. All he knew was that he wanted was to take the man next to him and push him down on the couch, climb on top of him and feel his male hardness against him and shove his -

" In your face Dean!" Roman jumped up from the couch throwing his arms in the air. " Celtics win by twenty points."

Dean was abruptly snapped out of his daydream by Roman's celebration. Oh crap. He was almost fully erect from the fantasy that he was having and it was quite noticeable because of the lightweight gym shorts he was wearing.

" Whatever dude. The Celtics got lucky just because our point guard was injured and we had to make do with that useless sub." Dean reached over to the coffee table to pick up the empty pizza box. He wanted the box to hide the embarrassment in his pants.

" You're just being a sore loser." Roman reached over at the same time to grab the pizza box to hand it to Dean.

When he did that, his fingers brushed over Dean's hand and instantly it sent shivers down his spine. Roman took up the box and handed it to Dean, clueless about the effect that he just had on him. Dean took the box wordlessly and headed to kitchen. His body still in shock over Roman's touch. He scolded himself. He needed to get it together. He disposed of the box in the large black garbage bag. Roman didn't feel for him the way that he felt for him. Somehow he would just have to get over it.

As soon as Dean turned around Roman was standing right in front of him with his arms crossed. " What's wrong with you?"

Dean looked up at Roman who was a couple inches taller than him. A lock of long black hair hung infront of face as his eyes held a steadfast look of concern. It felt as though his eyes were trying to bore right through him, right to his very core. Dean felt almost hypnotised and he had to swallow twice to find his voice.

" Nothing," he tried to say as nonchalantly as possible. He tried to walk past Roman but he stepped in front of him.

" Bullshit."

Dean looked up at Roman. Right here was the other part of the problem. Roman knew him like an old book. He read his feelings and actions better than his own mother. He may have only known him for about four years but it felt as if he knew him his whole life. Sometimes Dean felt that he understood him better than he did himself. Except for this. He couldn't tell him this and risk losing his friendship. No, their friendship must be preserved at all costs.

" As I said, it's nothing." Dean shrugged his shoulders. " Just tired. That's all."

Dean looked at Roman. He knew that Roman knew that he was lying. Fuck. He had opened up to Roman in a way that he had never opened up to another human being, not even Seth. He knew him too damn well.

Roman sighed and dropped his arms from his chest. " Fine, have it your way. I think I should be heading home anyway."

Dean picked up the slight hurt in his voice. On any given day he would spill all of his darkest secrets to Roman in a blink of an eyelid but not this one. He watched as Roman picked up the paper plates that they had eaten from and dumped them in the trash. Even if Roman was upset at him, he still helped him clean up after the game. How could he not love that man? As soon as that thought came to his brain, it felt as if someone had dropped a bucket of ice cold water on him. He just didn't love Roman in a platonic way, he was in love with him. Oh hell, could this night get any worse?

" I'm leaving."

Roman's voice cut through Dean's reverie. He realized that he had been standing the same spot for the past five minutes. He was doing a lousy job at pretending that everything was okay. He saw Roman pick up his car keys from off the table, moving towards the front door. Dean quickly sprinted over to him as Roman unlocked the front door and stepped outside into moonlight and chilly air.

" Roman!"

He turned and looked at Dean expectantly. Dean wanted to tell him how he felt. His heart beat faster for him to spill the words but his mind held his tongue prisoner. No! He wouldn't risk losing his very best friend. Sometimes love just had to be unrequited. Sometimes the heart couldn't always get what it wanted.

Dean didn't know what expression his face bore but Roman's expression softened and he came forward and took Dean's right hand and captured it in his huge fist and pulled Dean towards his chest with his fist inbetween. It was one of those bro type hugs with Roman patting Dean on the back. Dean's face was right next to Roman's cheek and he inhaled the fresh scent of the aftershave that he used. He still smelled good after beer and pizza. If he just turned his face a few inches to the right he could kiss Roman right on the lips. His dick started to respond to the mere thought but before Dean could think it through Roman had pulled away.

The light from the moon casted a silver glow on Roman's hair giving him an almost etheral appearance. He patted Dean on the shoulder. " Take care buddy."

And with that Dean's angel walked down the garden path to his car while he released the breath that he hadn't realized that he had been holding in. He felt his heart grow heavy in his chest. Dean watched as Roman drove off, the night wind nipping at his bare shoulders as he watched the fading tailights knowing that he could never have him. But that didn't stop his heart from loving him.

A/N: Please review to let me know if you like it so far and if you want more.