Note- I do not own these characters.
Everyone turned to leave, going their own ways back
to their homes. I was left alone to grasp the severity
of this situation.
Seven thousand seven hundred thirty two times? Have
we really repeated these two weeks seven thousand
seven hundred thirty two times? How can that be?
Are we going to have to live through this again? If so,
how much longer?
Everyone was out of sight but her.
Wait, Nagato!
She stopped, mid-step, and turned to look at me. She
stood there, light from the streetlamp shone down on
her and softly reflected from her eyes and hair. Nagato
looked almost holy, ghostly. It seemed as if she was
waiting for me to follow.
You're so hard to read Nagato.
The entire way to her apartment I stayed five yards
behind her.
What am I doing?
What do I plan to do when we get there?
We paused briefly at the front entrance. Without
wasting a move, Nagato reached up, dialed the access
code into the panel with her left hand and walked
through the doors. Once inside, she turned to face me.
Maybe she was waiting for me to make up my mind.
Maybe she knew my mind was already made up and
was waiting for me to realize it.
The stars are so clear tonight.
I'll walk her to her door and that's it.
The ride up was quite to say the least, but I wanted to
say something; something that would validate my
being here. We stepped off the elevator and were in
front of her apartment before I could think of anything.
It all happened so fast, I don't even remember walking in.
Nagato, how must you have felt? No wonder she
looked so bored this entire time. No one but you could
have lived this way. She looked so small, so tired, so
frail right now.
I had to.
I had to pull her close to me. Comfort her in some way.
She did not resist as I did so. She felt so tiny. I could
feel her heartbeat and the slight expansion and
contraction of her chest as she inhaled and exhaled.
Her face was still blank and emotionless.
She's been the only constant in my life for the past few
months. The mountains could have melted into a
frozen sea and I wouldn't have cared. No matter how
crazy the world seemed, I always felt safe knowing
she was here. I never realized just how trying her life
must be. After this, I promise to never take that fact
for granted.
I'm so sorry Nagato. I wish there was something I
could do.
As I said this, I found I was pulling her closer and
closer to me. What am I doing? Why is she suddenly
so irresistible? I want to comfort her. Protect her. I
kissed her forehead and pulled her against my chest.
Is her hair wet? Wait…am I crying for her? The kisses
eventually got harder and they slowly worked their
way down to her lips. They were softer then I expected,
almost as if she was kissing back.
Is this okay Nagato? If it wasn't, I'm sure you'd be
able to stop me. You probably wouldn't say anything
even if you didn't want me to, but…knowing this…does
that mean…I'm taking advantage of you?
The way I have her pushed up against the wall…
it seems so wrong.
Then why am I doing it?
Maybe it's just the curse of being a teenage boy.
I wonder what she thinks of what I'm doing. Maybe she
finds it repulsive. I don't know, but I kept kissing and
nuzzling her neck anyway.
I picked her up and had her wrap her legs around my
waist. She looked so disheveled compared to her
usually tidy appearance. The uniform top was coming
un-tucked and her knee-high socks had fallen and were
crumpled around her ankles. I guess I can't really avoid
it now. I carried her over to where I assumed the main
bedroom was and slid the door open.
The futon was, surprisingly, already set out and I gently
laid her down, making sure to rest her head on the
cushion as carefully as possible.
How often do you even sleep?
She let me lift her arms up; her uniform top slipped over
her head easily and was lost without hesitation.
Her skirt, panties, and bra quickly followed, but I left
her socks. Maybe it was for my own twisted benefit.
I was undressed in record time and it was right about
now that I started to hesitate. Can I really go through
with this? Are you even capable of doing this Nagato?
Did your creators think of that? I guess it's not impossible.
You can breathe, eat, bleed, I suppose you would be
able to do just about anything a normal human girl could.
This has gone too far to think about that. It felt like
such a shame. She looked so beautiful the way she
was resting. If I were more artistically inclined, I would
probably want to sketch her just the way she is right now.
The way her body barely made an impression on the mat.
The soft, subtle curves of her petite figure.
The way her short hair fell against the pillow, forming
a little halo around her angelic face.
The way her eyes seemed to stare right into my soul.
She looked so pure.
This feels more like an intrusion on personal property
then an intimate encounter. Nagato lay there perfectly
straight as I…entered her.
Oh, no. Nagato...I'm so sorry. Your creators made you
more real then I thought.
I looked down and saw the blood against her white skin.
I must be some kind of monster.
I say that, yet I'm not stopping.
I parted her legs and bent them upwards so I could
better…uh…position myself.
She lay there perfectly still, staring back at me. The
entire time, she was motionless and did not make a
single sound.
Does this count as necrophilia?
Wait, there it was. She let out a small moan; as if air
forced out of her lungs accidently shook her vocal cords.
I could feel her quiver a little.
Did you have an orgasm Nagato?
As I finished, I wondered if she enjoyed any of it as well.
I rolled over to avoid crushing her minute body and I
pulled her on top so I could enjoy her soft weight
against me. She rested the right side of her head on
my chest and I could feel her gentle breathing cooling
my sweaty skin.
Now that I can think about it; that was the most
amazing thing I had ever experienced.
Did that break up the monotony Nagato? Was it a
change from the usual routine?
"Not particularly," she replied without so much as looking at me.
What?
Now she turned her head upward to look me with
eyes that seemed, somehow, less empty.
They were softer.
"Sexual intercourse has occurred six thousand eight
hundred eleven times out of the past seven thousand
seven hundred thirty two cycles. Of this, oral sex was
included five thousand one hundred seven times with
five variations, anal sex was included seven times with
two variations; five times where I received and two
times where I-"
Stop. I don't want to hear any more.
I can't believe I've done this before.
Wait...maybe I can. The 'me' now should be no different
from the other variations of 'me' that have gone before.
Those incarnations must have felt the same way for her.
I suddenly feel like a Shakespearian Actor, just spouting
out lines and soliloquies from memory until they no
longer have meaning; my thoughts, my words, my actions;
they've all been written down and rehearsed in advance
so I can perform them to an empty theatre and a single
audience member.
She must think I'm an idiot.
But, if we've done this before, why did I break
your…the…a…tissue…that…you…could…easily regenerate.
Dammit.
Listen Nagato, if I've done this before, it's okay to stop
me if this happens again. Just tell me so I can avoid
giving you another repeat to live through.
She just continued looking up at me. After blinking her
eyes twice, she rested the side of her head against
my chest again.
Wait, if this has happened before, then I probably said
this exact same thing to you before. Didn't I?
"…"
Why didn't you stop me this time Nagato?
"…"
Well?
"…"
Nagato!
She pushed her head further into my chest.
Is she trying to cuddle?
...
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"I did not want to."