Skid,
I'm real sorry, real sorry. I don't know how to – ah, you don't know what I'm apologizing for, but I'm sorry—I'm sorry about ripping off this fancy house you're at. I know the stuff's not yours, but you looked like you cared about it, but at least you got an alibi, they can't hang it on you. And I'm sorry, there's stuff I can't explain, well, maybe later, but I just want you to know I had my reasons. I'll tell you one day, maybe when my parole's up, oh hell, maybe not. Maybe it won't ever be up. I don't know. I can't think straight.
I want you to know, it was me who ripped you off that day. At the poker game. I think you must of known it was me, because I saw you slack off when you was chasing me—I know you were a pro racer, you could of caught me if you'd had a mind to. I should of given you your cut, I should of given you a lot of stuff, I guess, I should, I don't know. I just wanted to give you back your watch. Here it is, and there's one thing, I'm sorry I shoved you down on the table like that. I shouldn't of, that was wrong of me, Skid, you always watched my back, you never let me get hurt, and I'd never, I mean, the last thing I wanted in the world was to hurt you. But I had to show them I mean business, and that gun wasn't even loaded, I had to make like a tough guy, and I knew a little push wouldn't hurt you—if it had been one of them old geezers, hell, they might of had a heart attack or something and I sure as hell didn't want that on my conscience. But I feel bad about it, and I am sorry.
I'm leaving town, Skid, and I just wanted to apologize. I can't ever make things right with you again, I guess. Whatever I try, I screw up. Only this time, it wasn't my fault, I swear. I swear! Well, maybe it was, a little bit, but I just can't see how anything could of turned out different, and who would of believed me anyway, and sometimes, you know how you feel the deck's stacked against you and whatever you do, you're gonna lose? This is one of those times, I guess. But I want you to believe me when I tell you I'd never do anything to hurt you, Skid, and maybe, I guess that's why you're better off not knowing me. Cause I'd only screw up again, and – look, you're my best pal, and I really really care about you, but you're better off without me. I swear.
This is the last chance I'm gonna get to tell you. Skid, apart from my mom, nobody ever stood up for me like you did. Understood me, believed in me. I don't think I ever will again. I mean, find someone like that, like a big brother. So thanks for all you've done for me, and – just thanks, I guess. If you ever need me though, ever, for anything at all, I'll give you a number you can call whenever – if I settle somewhere. I hear lots of big names are hiring. Finelli, Rigano. Won't be easy getting hired though 'cause I don't go for hurting nobody. Except you, when I pushed you down on that table, and I swear I didn't mean it, didn't mean to hurt you. Those folks, though, they want tough guys, and me, I'm not it. I just can't do it. I can't go for violence, I just, it's not me. Maybe I could build a rep on being a Compassionate Criminal? There's a future in there somewhere.
Wish me luck, Skidder. I'll need it.
Teddy
PP. I'm really sorry. Really.