Tsukasa

I don't think anyone knows this feeling. This feeling of being hated. Of someone longing to kill you. No one knows how i feel. No one will know how i feel. I am alone. I am alone in this world inhabited by billions of people. Maybe one other person knows this feeling, but...I haven't met them yet.

I am small, tiny even. I'm smart for my age, 4(continue reading to know why she is like this at 4), and strong. I have a brother. He's seven now. Mother and father fight a lot. It's all my fault. I know this, for a fact. They always end up yelling " It's your fault. Why'd you have to give birth to another?" or "It's not my fault! I couldn't have her by myself!" They hate me so much they lock me away in the attic.

The attic is big but dirty. Boards lean on the walls. They watch me, twenty-four hours a day. They are my only friends. My "soft luxurious bed" is always the same. It's black with dirt and there never are any covers. My bed smells, too. It smells of smoke, from when mother had tried to burn me, and blood, from countless beatings. Not to mention that there are absolutely no windows, or there are some but just covered by boards.

They scream again.

"Why don't you just die?" father foamed.

"Is this all because of all the money we owe? You have more insurance(some how). Just die! Leave me and my son alone," mother howled.

"If we get a divorce, I get him!" father probably was turning red now.

He is their favorite. Everything changed when I was born. They owed more money. We don't get enough food from time to time. I hardly eat. They only let me eat once a week. My skin is turning pale while there's is (some how) perfectly tan. They all wish i was dead. I wish I was dead.

I inched behind one of the boards that just did nothing. It was like a cave. The boards made the walls just perfect. I slithered through my cave. My imagination did it's wonders. Bats flung towards me. Water dripped from the pointy rocks that were dangling above my head. This is the only shred of happiness I have. No one will ruin this . I turned a corner. There was no more imagination. I was back to the gross place I call home. I glanced around to notice a large dent in the wall.

I had no ideas what it is or what it's from. I got closer to it. The dent,of coarse, wasn't a dent. It was but a window! The only one up here nod it's all mine. It was caked with dust from no one tending to its needs. I rubbed my dirty shirt on the window. The dust scattered away. Most going to the entrance I had just came from. The rest went deeper into my cave. I gazed out this miracle. How the outside looked was beautiful. The moon glowed faintly over the other houses. The stars twinkled like no one's business. My jaw dropped and hit the floor. I had never seen anything so beautiful.

Even if the houses were old looking, I didn't care. This is my window. It will always be my window. No matter what, I will be with this window. I pressed my hand on the warm glass. I so long but wished I could leave this place. Everyday is like survival of the fittest. Me,being the smallest, will never live. I will never see my own kids run and play. I will never ever fell loved. I will never find someone who will save me. How long can I take this abuse?

It's been so long. So many days of cruel treatment. It's been so long that I can't feel a thing. Every punch,kick even stab I've felt is just...numb. I don't cry anymore. I just feel a pinch like a mosquito. I'm like an invincible girl but it still pierces my soft skin. I don't know if I can take it much longer. I scurried out my cave to my filthy bed. I pressed my hands tightly together as I bent over my bed.

"Whoever is up there," I began," please let me have a peaceful sleep."