David creeped along the face of the pale rock, surrying along with his little mouse feet. He shivered when the cold spray of the ocean his little mouse fur and chilled his little mouse back. His little mouse nose sniffed the air in a little mouse way. He spotted some little mouse food and scampered over to eat it with his little mouse mout-
Shut up about the little mouse and get on with the story, you pathetic excuse for a narrator! > David yelled.
Fine, the narrator replied. Do you want me let the Crayak give you back the power to morph or not?
Fine, fine! Keep talking about the little mouse me! See if I care! >
Good little mouse. Now where was I? Oh, yeah. He ate the food with his little mouse mouth, and then, suddenly, the little mouse known as David-
You know I am a rat, not a mouse, right? >
Thank you Mr. Little Mouse biologist. Anyway, the little mouse known as David was no longer on the rocky island, and no longer a little mouse, eithe-
"I never was a mouse! I was a RAT!" David yelled upon getting his mouth back. "Hey! I'm human!"
I was just getting to that! He was a human, and floating in space.
DAVID, A big red eye said.
"Are you Crayak?" David asked.
NO, I'M MARISSA TOMEI. WHO DO YOU THINK I AM? WAIT, HOW DO YOU KNOW MY NAME?? Crayak asked.
"The narrator told me," David explained.
OH. ANYWAY, I AM HERE TO GIVE YOU BACK YOUR MORPHING POWERS, SO YOU CAN GET REVENGE ON THE ANIMORPHS. MWHAHAHA!!! MWHAHAHA!! MWHAHAHAH-The Crayak is cut short as he begins to cough.
"Why do you want me to do that?" David asked.
BECAUSE I'M SCARED OF THE ANIMORPHS. THEY FRIGHTEN ME, JUST LIKE TOASTERS SCARE MAD COW'S LITTLE SISTER. SHE WON'T GO ANYWHERE NEAR TOASTERS. AND SHE WON'T LET MAD COW USE ONE WHEN THEIR MOM'S NOT HOME.
Its true, said the narrator.
"Who's Mad Cow?" David asked.
It's me, the narrator, you idiot! The narrator, AKA Mad Cow said.
ANYWAY, said Crayak. I AM VERY AFRAID OF THE ANIMORPHS. I WANT YOU TO KILL THEM WHILE I SIT IN THE BACK AND SUCK MY THUMB AND HOLD MY BLANKIE, OK?
David looked around. "You have a blankie?"
DON'T INSULT MY BLANKIE!!!!! Crayak yelled.
"Fine, fine, you have a blankie," David said. "Just give me back my powers, and I'll be out of here, and we'll pretend this never happened, OK?"
OK. HERE YOU GO, said Crayak, and David could morph.
Suddenly, David was back on Earth. On the sidewalk. He was wearing a coat, and he slipped his hand into a pocket. There was stuff in there. He pulled it out. It was three free Blockbuster rentals! All right!
He ducked into the nearest Blockbuster, and saw a woman who had her hand on the cheek of the guy at the counter. The guy took her hand off. "Sorry lady, but if you're trying to hit on me-"
"What??" David asked loudly. "Where am I?"
Whoops, said the narrator. I accidentally put you in DMP's fic, Ever After. Awesome, kick ass fic, but not where you need to be.
The world went white, and then David was in another Blockbuster. David still had those free rentals. "What the hey?" David asked, and went to rent some scary movies.
Chapter 2
Two days later...
The Animorphs were sitting around on hay bales when the lights went out. Rachel screamed, and clung onto Marco. Then she realized who she was holding, screamed again, and let him go.
Jake went to open the door, but it was locked. "It's locked," Jake said.
The phone rang. Cassie picked it up.
"Hello Ginger, do you like scary movies?" A raspy voice asked.
"I'm, Cassie," Cassie said.
"Oh, sorry," The voice said, and hung up.
The phone rang again. "Hello? Can I talk to Rachel?" It was David.
"Sure, David," Cassie said, and handed the phone to Rachel.
"So you like scary movies?" David asked.
"Not really," Rachel said. "But I like scary shows. Have you seen AniTV? Brooke Whats-her-face was scary enough to give me nightmares for weeks."
"Oh," David said, rejected.
Rachel hung up. "That was David, I think he was trying to ask me out."
Suddenly, Ax's claustrophobia set in. He began to run around the barn, cutting open hay bales. I'm gonna dieeeeeeee! Tight spaces!! >
"Psycho Andalite!!" Marco yelled. "We'll be killed! He can't see!"
"He can't kill us," Cassie said. "Virgins don't die."
Rachel yelled without thinking. "Who are you calling a virgin?? I mean...uh...that's nice."
"We'll be dead 1,328 times over, right Rachel?" Tobias, who was in human morph, asked.
"You counted?" Rachel asked.
"Do you have a problem with that?" Tobias questioned.
Rachel grinned. "No...I find that very arousing..."
"Tssr. Tssr. I am the hawk, coming to get you," Tobias said.
Rachel screamed a little mouse scream, while taking off his shirt. "Oh, Mr. Hawk, I am the mouse, don't eat me. Squeek, squeek."
Cassie stopped them. "OK, this is so not the time. I'm ashamed of you two. At least Ax, Marco, Jake and I will live."
"Do Chee count?" Marco asked. "'Cause there's one that used to be a Porno star. Ooh, man, does she do some realistic holograms, if you know what I mean, eh Jake?"
Jake frowned. "No, I don't. Cassie keeps getting all Jessica Simpson on me when I ask."
Ax stopped running. I believe I too, will not live to see light again, if one's who have already had intercourse will not survive. There was this one female...she was good, and Gah, did she have some huuge havetiies. >
"I don't know what havetiies are, but that sounds disturbing," Cassie said.
Jake began to whine. "Cassie! You told me that we weren't the only ones not doing it! This sucks! I can't believe I'm a virgin, and Ax isn't!! Fuck you!!"
"You wish," Cassie said dryly.
Suddenly, a flashlight flicked on. A silhouette was projected on the far wall. The silhouette of David.
"David!" > The Animorphs gasped as one.
"It is I!" David yelled. He was standing on a high beam. He spread his arms. "I am your maste-AHHHHH!!!!" David yelled as he lost his balance, and fell on top of Tobias, killing him.
"Oh my God!" Marco yelled. "You killed Tobias! You bastard!"
David stumbled to his feet, and pulled out a gun. "I am David! And I have come back to kill you with the help of some movies I rented!"
"What movies?" Marco asked.
"Scream, The Curve, and I'm Watching You," David said.
Rachel turned around. Her clothes fell off. "Oops, my clothes yell off."
David snickered. "Heh, heh. That was from I'm Watching You. It was porno."
"Wait," Cassie said. "How can the narrator know about that movie...?
I didn't watch it!! The narrator yelled. My accidentally rented it on Pay-Per-View, not knowing what it was! I wasn't even home! My mom watched five minutes of it, not knowing it was porno, figured it out, turned it off, and told me about it later! Really!
"Suuure," Cassie said.
David turned his gun on Cassie. "I need to kill someone else now! How about you?"
David fired, but it missed Cassie, and hit Rachel.
"Ahh!" She yelled, and died.
"Ding dong, the witch is dead!" Marco yelled happily, and hugged David.
David, not being used to being hugged, shot Marco.
He had killed three Animorphs, now only three left. He was too busy plotting the next ones death, when Jake came up behind David, and grabbed him After much struggle--and stuff that wouldn't look right to an on looker not knowing what they were doing-- David ended up with the gun pointed at his head. Jake pulled the trigger, and shot David.
But David wasn't very smart, and he didn't have a very big brain, so the bullet went in one ear and out the other. On the other way out, it hit Ax.
Ahhh! > Ax yelled, and died. David was dead, too.
The barn doors swung open, and the lights came back on. The Ellimist appeared in the barn in the form of your last sex ed teacher. "See," He said. "Abstinence is the best policy. Only you can defeat the Crayak!"
"I don't care!" Jake whined. "I still want some!"
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