A. K .A. Fever 3) Are You Warm?

by Sandry Alanna

This is a really, really strange fanfic. We wrote it high on turkey sandwiches on a Sunday afternoon. What can I say... or Ahh, what should I say? Are you warm?

Are You Warm? A.K.A Fever III
By Sandry and Alanna

A/N: Yes, this opening scene is REALLY what life is like at our house... are you worried yet? This is how Harry Potter changed our humdrum boring existence....

(The scene: Alanna and Sandry's Office. Alanna is sprawled on Sally Bear, a great big bear cushion. Sandry is standing above her and stating various facts about Alanna.)

Sandry: Quick, she's going into convulsions! Let me give her the heimlich maneuver!

Alanna: *no comment*

Sandry: *Unexpressional voice* You're warm. Your elbow is sharp. *Grabs onto Alanna's legs* You're warm.

Alanna: *kicks her*

Sandry: You're still warm.

Alanna: *crawling* Must get to the computer... must get to the computer...

Harry: *appears* Must you?

Sandry: Are You Warm?

Harry: I'm HOT!! I have a FEEEEEVERRRRRRRRR! *starts dancing*

Lupin: Am I going to die in this fanfic? *starts dancing to the tune of Harry* "I have a feever I have a feever!"

Alanna: That's nice.

RonnieKin: Does Ronniekins sound like the name of a sugar high drink?

Sandry: Are you warm?

Hermione: *appears* Obviously, she's cold!

RonnieKin: Gee, that was tough!!!

Lupin: Dee de dee de dee! (falls into a bottom less lake) ::dies::

Sandry: Is he still warm?

Harry: Die die die die die die die die die... *Thanx hermione/mew*

Alanna: Happy birthday to you... Happy birthday to you... *hands Hermione an enormous package*

Hermione: Um... thank you. It' s not my birthday... *Opens it* *It is a gigantic ream of paper* *With typing on it*

Alanna: It's a fanfic! Aren't you GLAD?

Hermione: *faints*

Sandry: Are you warm?

Ron: *Unprintable word*

Sandry: Are you warm are you warm are you warm *Turns into an oven*

Hermione: *Reading the fanfic*

~*~*Wavy music*~*~

*~*enter fantasy world*~*

It was a dark and story night. All of a sudden, "Nok Nok Nok" sounded on the door.

Hermione: Um. All right.

Ronniekins: Is it your birthday?

Harry: That does sound like a sugar-free drink...

Alanna: SUGAR FREE?? Evil people.

A cloaked figure stepped into the entrance hall. He is wearing a bright purple with pink spots Trilby. *If you don't know what that is, it's a hat*

Sandry: Sandrysandrysandrysandrysandrysandrysandry *Turns into Sandry* Phew! That was close...* Breathes heavily*

Ronniekin: Ok. What is with purple and pink spots.

Alanna: Ever the gentleman. Now what was that about a sugar free drink?

A lightning bolt illuminated the figure.

Hermione: You need a thesaurus.

Ronnikin: I don't know. What about it?

Harry: Thesauruses are evil... Dudley banged one over my head once. That was when I was watching the washing machine on spin cycle. It's very entertaining.

Everyone: ?

Alanna: *sniffs* You were a messed up child...

The FIGURE threw off its cloak. Another lightning bolt illuminated the FIGURE'S face. It was...

Harry: Voldemort.

Ron: Percy.

Alanna: Elaina.

Draco: A brontosaurus.

A/N: How did Draco get here? Are you scared yet?

Hermione: Malfoy. Now that's really scary.

Sandry: I like sugar...

A brown blue green brontosaurus.

Sandry: Hey! That rhymes with thesaurus!!!! Us, Thesaur! Us! THesaur!

Alanna: *boots sandry away*

Sandry: You're warm.

Draco: Two-thirds right.

Hermione, Harry, Ronniekin: ?

Hermione: You need a You-Know-What.

Harry: *Puts a pot on the stove* *What stove?*

Ronniekin: The one I ordered a minute ago...

Harry: Good service!

Hermione: That's nice.

"PEEEEVES!" the brontosaurus bellows. It was Dumbledore, the brontosaurus.

Hermione. OH MY> That was strange.

Alanna: *as ola the weird person* *in a bright cheery tone* I'M going to read the dictionary! "Did you know that 'Aardvark' means 'earth pig'?

Sandry: That's nice.

The Ron formerly known as Ronniekin: Since when has my name been THE RON?!?

Alanna: abnegate: To deny or.... OH HERE's YOUR word, Sandry. ABNORMAL!

Sandry: Get on with the fic!

Dumbledore threw off his brontosaurus costume and then threw off his Dumbledore costume. It was Lupin. He said, " I am--"

Alanna: Ten to one Sandry wants to kill him.

Hermione: This is confusing.

The Ron...: Why doesn't she kill Percy for a change?

Sandry: Hm... Good idea.

Sandry: Just kidding.

LUUUPIN! Here to avenge my ...s' deaths! *starts countin' on fingers* There was the hardening paint, and there was the later years in Ron's dream, and then the later years in real life, and then I died in the commentary fanfic, and there were about 20 others, give or take a few...

The Ron: Since when has Lupin had a southern accent?

Hermione: I don't know... I just don't know.

Harry: Strange person...

The Ron: Um, what goes into a sugar-free drink?

Lupin sits at a table and cheers about Gryffindor winning the Cup House. He drinks a sugar Free drink. THE END.

Hermione: CUP HOUSE?

The Ron: I SAID, what goes into a sugar-free drink?

Elaina, Alanna, Tris And Sandry: SUGARRRRRRRRRRR! SHUGARRRRRRR!

Hermione: Carbonated sand, Rye, Yeast, aloe burn gunk, a couple computers, and the most fab ingredient:

Ron: Carbonated Sandry?

Hermione: No, can't you read!

Or not... Hermoine said, "How's it going, Lupin? How many times have you died now?"
"I don't know," Lupin answered. "Um, what's the ghost of a ghost that's the ghost of a ghost?"
'"A ghost to the power of four," Harry answered.

Hermione: YOU MISSPELLED HERMIONE! You called me HER-MOy-N!
Harry: The most fab ingredient is.... Percy!

The Ron: A sledgehammer to make Percy taste more like lemonade!

Hermione: And.. *starts chanting* Eye of newt, and toe of frog To make the slegehammer taste like *dumps all the ingredients in* (fill in the blank)

Then everybody really cheers when Gryfindor REALLY wins the house cup... THE END FOR REAL.

Everybody: But is it...

Hermione: *Puts bottle in freezer*

Timer: *dings*

Everybody: *melts Sugar-Free-Soft-Drink*

Everybody: *drinks SFSD*

The Ron: I love Percy... I love Percy... I love Percy.... I love Percy...

Hermione: I wondered how this would effect everyone..

Alanna: *Stands on her head*

Hermione: *Jumps into the lake*

Sqoustwick the Squid: *Eats her*

Everyone: *cries*

dead Hermione: *Livelivelivelive* *Lives* *dies* *Lives*

Harry:Starts swinging off chandeliers. Starts to smooch with Hermione who is dripping sea water.

Sandry: EEW! Why did I write that in?!

Alanna: Sea water?

Neville: *drinks potion* y=mx+b The square root of 64 is 8. Eight squared is*ppotion starts to wear off* 46.. no... 54? No... 48! No... No.... No.... NO.... No....

Lupin: *dies*

Sandry: Are you warm??

THE END