Title: Leaving

Author: StarQuality

Disclaimer: Red Dwarf be the property of those very nice blokes.

Summary: Rimmer's leaving. For good.

Pairing: Lister/Rimmer, kind of. If you like it that way.

A/N: This is a little thing I came up with... I dunno. Um... Could be slashy... In fact, it is, and as it's the product of my sick mind, it's got to be slashy, really. It's set before series 7. But, after series 2... perhaps between five and six. Or... Yeah, you decide. Rimmer's hard-light though, so it's either after 6 and before 7, or he's somehow got a hard-light drive without Legion.
It doesn't really have a point, and it's never going to be good, like Failure, but it's better than doing the tons of coursework I have.
Not really a fic. More of a ficlet. I had a better version of this, but it was longer. Now I can't write the longer version because I've written this. But, to be honest, I prefer this.
Oooh, horizontal line... Dribbly... Sorry, I've neglected fics. I still have my Fish-Fic to write... Not as odd as it sounds. Promise. And notice the Failure reference. Well, the words 'Razor blades'
ONE WORD TITLE!

"But... Rimmer... You can't just... leave..."

"Why the smeg not? You all hate me anyway."

"No..."

"Oh, tot." Rimmer looked at Lister, pushed past him and opened the wardrobe door. "Why do you all stop talking when I come into the room?" He stuck his head in the wardrobe, pretending to be looking for something. Actually, he was drying his eyes.

Lister didn't know what to say to that one. He moved towards the bottom bunk, where Rimmer had sat his suitcase. It was open, so he peered in. "No... We're..." Seven pairs of underpants. Seven pairs of socks. Three brown shirts. Two pairs of brown trousers. One smart suit. "We.. You always..." A box of ship issue condoms. Rimmer's Diary. Self-hypnosis tapes. Astronavigation Made Easy. Astronavigation and Invisible Numbers and Engineering Structure Made Simple. "I..." Astronavigation for You. Astronavigation For Dummies. "You must always come in half-way through conversations." 1001 Fabulous Chat-up Lines. How to Pick Up Girls by Hypnosis. "We don't do it on purpose." The A-Z of Red Dwarf. Being a Hologram For Dummies. Congratulations! You're Dead!... The man did have a lot of books.

Rimmer threw in his swimming certificates that he took down from the walls. "It's not that nice though, is it? I mean..." He stood on his bunk to reach up to Lister's, extracting the Blu-Tac. "...Imagine if you came into a room, you hear the word 'smeghead', and suddenly it all goes quiet when one of the people HAPPENS to notice you're there." He folded up his spare tie and tucked it neatly into a corner.

"...But... Where will you go!"

"Titan? Juno?" Rimmer looked at his case, and realised what was missing, "I don't know. I haven't decided. Maybe Ganymede." He placed his white running T-Shirt and shorts on top of the other clothes.

"But Rimmer... They'll all be gone by now... Or empty. Deserted..."

"It's got to be better than here. What do I want to go to Earth for, anyway? Maybe I'll go to Io."

Lister tried to take it all in. "Rimmer, man, you can't just LEAVE!"

"So you said, but, you're not going to stop me. Hand me those razor blades."

"They're mine."

"Yes, but I might get the urge to kill myself."

"You're a hologram." The younger man said, confused.

"Mmm... But it's a nice thought."

"...Stop changing the subject!" Lister looked straight at Rimmer, who looked away.

Rimmer didn't want to do this. He didn't want to leave the ship. Although they didn't get on, he considered them to be a pretty good team, a team he was quite proud of. Alright, so they were a bit scruffy (With the exception of The Cat), none of them could really DO anything (With the exception of Kryten) and none of them really cared where they were going (With the exception of Lister), but... They had a few laughs. Between being shot at, having to visit creepy places and generally irritating each other, they actually had quite a good time.
But he had to. For his own sake, as well as everyone else's.

"Look, Listy..." Rimmer looked at the other man. He looked... odd. Almost... sad. Rimmer sat down next to him. "Look. I... I don't want to leave."

Lister put his head in his hands, "Well don't then."

"Hey..." Rimmer punched him softly, "You'll be the highest ranking crew-member."

"... I don't... care..."

"That was supposed to make you laugh." Rimmer sighed. "Oh come on. You don't like me! You're always telling me to smeg off." Lister sighed too. "You're hardly going to miss me."

"Think about it though..." Lister looked up. "We've known each other for years... Millions, if you count my stasis years."

This wasn't part of Rimmer's plan. He wasn't supposed to have regrets, no second thoughts. He was behind schedule. If it hadn't been for that smegging alarm clock not going off, he would've been miles away by now. But no, he'd overslept, and Lister had caught him sneaking around. Rimmer had tried to be quiet, but he tripped over one of Lister's socks and fallen head first into the washing basket. The way it was supposed to happen, Rimmer would've woken up at 3am, and by 5am he would have been in an escape pod, floating around in space, waiting until he would have his own little planet to play with. Strangely familiar. That was the plan. Guilt wasn't supposed to come into it.

"Maybe so. But in all that time... We've hardly... We..." Rimmer struggled for the words. He really, really wanted to go. But at the same time, all he wanted was to be there. Why was it so bloody confusing? "We're not friends."

The Scouser inhaled deeply. "We... I... I'm... I just can't imagine life without you here..."

"Would you be the same if Kryten or Cat decided to go?"

Silence.

"Listy?"

Silence. Lister had his head in his hands again.

"... I... I'd better go." Rimmer stood up hurriedly. He took one long look at the room that he had shared with Lister for years. Picking up his suitcase, he nodded to himself. This was it. He walked to towards the door, before turning around and looking again. Shaking his head to snap out of the daze he found himself in, he made to walk out. It was time to go... But...

"No. Wait." Lister stood up too, and flung his arms around the other man. "You can't leave. Who'll regale us with tales of the Hammond Organ Club?"

Rimmer laughed. Then he... Wait... Regale? Lister wouldn't know what that means... Rimmer must've said it... and he remembered it. He remembered something Rimmer had said.

"Lister...?" Rimmer asked, putting down his case, and patting Lister on the back,

Lister practically buried his head in Rimmer's shoulder, "Mmm?" came the muffled reply.

"... Am I dead?"

"...What?"

"Am I DEAD?"

"Yeah..."

"How dead am I?"

"Dead as a can of spam." Interesting. Very interesting.

"... I see. And... Which one of my brothers... Which one was it that punched you?"

"In the photograph?"

"Mm."

"Frank... Why!"

"...Oh..." Rimmer smiled happily. For the first time in his entire life, he felt happy. He felt like someone had actually listened to what he had been saying. Like someone had actually taken notice of him. He didn't feel invisible. He almost felt... loved. "...No reason really, I just.. Forgot. And... I want to leave being able to remember the good times."

Lister looked up at him. "Please don't go. Please." Rimmer shook his head slowly. He didn't want to go. But. No. He had to.

Something at that very second in time took over Rimmer. It must've been the light, but the way he saw Lister for a brief second caused him to do the strangest thing he had ever done.
He took Lister's face in his hands, and he kissed him. Passionately. As if he needed it to live. Even if he was already dead. Lister was surprised at first, but soon got into it, as was kissing back just as hard.

They broke apart.

"I have to."

And he left.

Well, as far as I'm concerned, that's the end. Sorry, it was... Uh... random. Yes, random is the word I'll use. Sorry.

Maybe I'll write more, but maybe I should have a fic without a happy ending for once. I love dialogue, as you can tell. Probably why I talk so much.

Star
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