Love
What is this feeling?
Is it love?
Is it hate?
Is it friendship?
I do not know...
We are more than just
The best of friends.
He is my 'lover'
Or so we say.
He seems to feel
Very strongly for me.
I once believed that I
Felt the same for him.
It has all changed.
I don't love him.
He loves me,
However.
He doesn't know
That I don't feel the same.
I don't have the courage
To tell him myself...
I want him to know.
I don't know how.
He loves me
I do not...
I need him to know
My feelings have changed.
I have done this to him twice already.
I don't know if I can do it again.
I told myself,
"Three times the charm."
This is the third time
And it's not working again.
I have broken him before
And then gotten him to trust me again
I am a horrible person
Yet he loves me still.
Why does he
Trust me so blindly?
He has been through
Too much for me to hurt him again.
After the abuse from him
I need alone time again.
After the love from him
I need darkness again.
He has hurt me
He doesn't know it.
I will hurt him
We both know this.
The question is when?
Where will it be?
Who will see?
Who will forgive.
I am not a good person
I know this now.
I want him to know
The truth about me.
He may hate me,
He may still love me.
I can't continue
To deceive this broken man.
It is not love,
At least not from me.
From him it may be
But that is all it is.