He only chewed when the teacher wasn't looking, and when the bitch turned around and told him to spit it out, oh, he'd spit it out alright. Right in to the bitch's face.
Eric Cartman liked gum. Loved it, actually. Spearmint, bubble gum, orange flavored, berry...he loved it all. But he loved the unusual, abnormal flavors that it was rare to find and that most would go 'ew' at the thought of buying, like mango mint, most. Not that this made him different in any way. Every kid in the school loved gum, and school was the place to have it.
He really thought the school's way of making sure kids didn't have gum was reatarded - telling them not to have gum. What genius came up with this idea? Telling kids not to do something was the exact reason there were cell phones and gum in school - if you don't give them the idea, they won't do it. It was the exact same thing in more serious things like underage sex and drinking. Now who do you think those kids are trying to spite when they do things like that?
But again, this didn't seperate him from the group.
What made Cartman different enough from all gum chewers was he was the only one out of hundreds of imbeciles in the school smart and skillful enough not to get caught. He'd just sit there staring down at the paper not even pretending to be remotely interested, and that was the way to do it. When called on, he'd push the gum to the roof of his mouth with his tongue, and usually say some retarded answer that he'd receive a few giggles over and a glare from the teacher.
But now was a special time.
Truth be told, whenever Cartman needed to dispose of his gum, he'd just flick it across the room and make it stick to the wall, and the next day the whole class was groan when the teacher would rant on and on about how there was gum stuck to the wall and about this was why gum wasn't allowed in school and on and on and on. But Cartman preferred it this way - she'd forget to give them their homework. However, though the teachers were pretty stupid, they were smart enough to review all the gum chewers on their list and they figured out pretty quickly that there had to be one or two more that they hadn't caught yet. But now he wanted to get rid of his gum a different way, just to send a huge 'Fuck you' message to the teacher, because that's just the kind of person he was.
The first thought that crossed Cartman's mind was to stick it on a chair on the way out, so that somebody would become known as 'Gum Ass'. But he knew he could do much better than that, so he figured that he'd might as well flick it at...well, who?
Kyle. He knew it then, and knew that he just wanted to see if the gum would stick to Kyle's head. It would be funny to be in the guy's bathroom with him, watching him get the gum out of his hair while getting out mounds of frizzy red hair in the process. So nimbly and discreetly he spit out the gum in to his hand, and he put it in to proper motion for take off. Within a second the bluish gum was sailing through the air, and was about to get in to Kyle's Jewfro (which, by the way, was uncovered with a hat), when in mid air Kyle reached out and grabbed the gum, flicking it right back at Cartman.
Two seconds later Cartman raised his hand.
'I have gum in my hair.'
Did you like that? It came from an experience I had at school, and then just blossomed from there. So that's why...