Already fading
It wasn't easy, to help an angel. Espically if you worked alongside demons.
When I first heard about Castiel, I was like 'Why would an angel wanna drag Dean from the pit, & espically, how could they not come when I prayed? Why didn't an angel come to help me or play with me when dad left us in a shitty motel to go hunt? Where was an angel when I started to get visions? Where was an angel when Dean almost died from a heartattack? Where was God or the angels when we needed help the most? The only ones who would help us was Ruby, a demon chick.'
But then when I first met the so called Castiel, he was nothing more than a scrawny baby in a trench coat! Dean had talked about him like he was such a powerfull badass, but he wasn't. Then I saw what he could do, he could vanquish a demon just by touching it's vessel's forehead, & what suprised me the most was that Ruby actually backed away, when he stared at her. She later told me how she wanted nothing to do with us if there were angels involved.
I also woundered why Castiel, had no emotion, I read several times in the bible that angels are supposed to be compassinate & caring not stoic & ruthless. But he defies all knowledge of angels: he rebels, he kills in cold blood, & he hardley trusts me. He always looks at me with suspision & disgust. I respect him enough to not glare back at him, that & I don't wanna die, or atleast not yet. He is the most fucked up angel I have ever met.
Sam carefully eyed the angel, 'He knows something...'. but before he could say anything, Castiel left. He & Bobby, believed Eve, that she had infected the youngest brother. The boy was sprawled on the floor, while his younger brother was in the basement, blood staining his bottom lip & jaw. Dean & Bobby were staring wide-eyed, mouths open.
"Com'on we better, clean up the mess." , Bobby cleared his throat
Later when they burned the bodies, they went back inside. "It's not like cas to make a mistake like that.." San saw Dean stand up, & defend Cas, "You think Cas would do that? He's worked beside us & helped us! And know you think he's hiding something! Crowley must've slipped from him ,somehow"
Bobby just shrugged, "It was a thought."
Sam knew there had to be more to this... An angel (one as prissy as Cas) would never make a mistake like that, espically when it came to the king of hell. He remembered what happened when Anna, came back saying Castiel had turned her in, 'If he can betray his own, what is stopping him from betraying us?' Suspicion began to swirl in his head; Cas not responding when they call, but he was at war, Cas not destroying the right bones, Cas, Cas, Cas- it just swam in circles in his head, & he groaned, when trobbing pain shot through his brain. "Damn."
Then Sam's fears came true: Castiel was working with Crowley, he was looking for the purgatory, he had betrayed them in the end. The angel he once considered 'friend' (after uncertanties subsided) stood before them, telling them to bow to their new 'God'. His betrayal was shined on, when he couldn't look Dean in the eye & tell him that what they claimed wasn't true. Cas lost all their respect along time ago, but what probably hurt him the most was, Dean's loss of trust in him
I knew I could no longer trust the angel, he was the thing that dragged me out of hell, souless! I killed inoccents becuase of him, I wasn't afraid to use people as shields, I- I murdered in cold blood, because that bastered! His 'war' caused me to loose myself completely! He made Dean loose the life he always wanted. That was basically a 'Fuck you!' from the angel. I had to face the two 'other me' & we still lost...but not in the way we had expected at all. He fucked up our lives completely.