Here I present you my version of the end of TDA, the only way that would make me happy if Beth were to win, like I'm hearing she will ¬¬.

I thought of this after episode episode 23, and then Top Dog came in and dashed all my hopes and dreams ¬¬. So this will likely become an AU of the end of TDA beginning after episode 23, 2008: A Space Owen :)

First part was inspired by 's fic 'Missing Him'.

~The Machine~

# Chapter 1: Musings and a Call #

One night, Courtney sat peacefully on her top bunk bed, quietly musing to herself.

She knew she should be trying to sleep, that was the logical thing to do; but tonight her thoughts just would not leave her alone.

Beth's loud snoring didn't help that much either. Who would want to sleep through that, let alone be able to?

At least it was better than half an hour ago.

The other brunette had cried herself to sleep that night. Courtney knew not the cause. Ever since she had broken off their alliance, she had no reason to care. Still she wondered…

Maybe she missed Lindsay? Or maybe it was her latest love interest, Harold, who had just been voted off hours ago? Or maybe her made-up boyfriend, whom she had allegedly just broken up with? Maybe she missed her family…

Whatever the reason, Beth was now fast asleep, with her mouth hanging open due to her headgear, and her pillow all soggy and gross from both tears and spit.

The CIT had to restrain herself not to scoff at the sight. She just couldn't bring herself to sympathize with Beth. This was the 21st century, a girl should be able to get by without her 'BFF' or a boy at her side and not be reduced to a sobbing mess in the process.

And she wasn't talking without experience either—oh no, she had been there. Please, her so-called boyfriend had cheated on her with the resident goth girl!

Okay, so he hadn't actually cheated (she was convinced he had wanted to though!), but the fact remained— she had not bawled like a baby when she found out.

And pherhaps the only thing that kept her from going up to Beth right now and shaking her awake, to tell her she had no right to sob for thirty minutes when she had suffered real heartbreak with a real boyfriend and had not shed a single tear…

…was that maybe she wasn't so proud about that fact.

Let's face it. What kind of girlfriend would get proof that their boyfriend was cheating on them and take it sitting down? Things like these made her doubt that she had ever truly felt something towards him.

Now, it's not like she was trying to pretend she never cried in her life. She had broken down a few times when she thought she didn't deserve to stay in the competition; she had had her moments of weakness in which she doubted everything about herself.

And she just found it… aloof… that she wouldn't cry about this.

She felt detached from the other girls, who cried about their boyfriends all the time, so much that they made her wonder if they liked it?

Courtney shook her head to clear it from the potentially depressive thoughts. She had to stay focused, objective, and one of the keys to victory was being optimistic; negativity never did get anyone anywhere.

This was probably just the darkness of the trailer, the solitude now that there were only two occupants, the moonlight filtering from the windows that brought out her melancholy.

But whatever the reason, she could already see that her mood for the night was unchangeable. She found herself thinking back, to before she got back on the show, before all of this started.

Courtney sat motionless on her seat on the peanut gallery, as the rest of the ex-campers scrambled around. She had taken a seat next to Tyler, the guy that wouldn't admit he sucked at sports, and to her left she had the 'Wonder Twins'.

Courtney scoffed lightly as she fought to control her temper. As if it wasn't enough that she wasn't on the show, she now had to take being counted among the other losers in a friggin' talk show.

As the camera crew was preparing to start rolling, she felt her PDA vibrate on her pocket. She quickly pulled it out, hoping it was one of her lawyers with news on the lawsuit.

The caller ID read, 'Dad' instead.

Courtney inwardly cringed at the name. She had no idea why it was stored as 'Dad' when she couldn't remember the last time she'd call her father that.

She quickly put the device to her ear. "Hello, Michael."

"Hello honey," the voice on the other end said catiously, as if a wrong move would cause her imminent wrath. "How're things going down there?"

"Oh, super," she responded, voice dripping venom. "My pathetic lawyers still haven't got me on the show—but you must already know that, am I right?"

"I actually wanted to talk to you about that," the man said, going straight to business. "Your mother and I have been talking and…" Courtney rolled her eyes knowingly. Even though her parents were divorced, they still mantained a decently good relationship. "…we'd like it very much if you considered withdrawing the lawsuit."

There was hesitation in Michael's tone. Courtney could just imagine him running a hand through his blond hair worriedly. State attorney Michael Johann Bale was weary of his teenage daughter's reaction.

"I'm not gonna withdraw the lawsuit," she said strongly, knowing a firm tone alone would help her convince him.

"Be reasonable, dear," Michael said hopelessly. "Things like these cost money."

Courtney saw red. So much for keeping her cool. "You'd have a say in this if you were paying for this, but you're not! I'm paying for everything!" It was true; Courtney had made a deal with her lawyers that if they got her back on the show, and she won, she would give them 50% of the prize money. She didn't care about it anyway; she just wanted to win.

"All you had to do was find me some decent lawyers!" she continued. "But apparently you can't even do that!" Courtney was concious of Tyler squirming away from her pissed off presence, and Sadie and Katie glaning at her in worry.

"I got you the best lawyers of the state!" Michael replied, getting angry as well. So much for a professional, adult conversation.

"But not the best in America!" she retorted. "You know who does have the best lawyers in America? Chris! Because we still haven't beat him! And we never will with those… those toy lawyers you got me! Don't think I don't know what I'm talking about!"

"That is not my fault, Courtney!" Michael replied, and Courtney could see him taking a hand to his chest in her mind. The occasions in which she saw her father were few and far in between, but she still knew all of his gestures by heart.

There was a pause, after which Michael's tone was soft again. "Kitten, if you think you can't win the lawsuit, why don't you just call it off?"

Courtney frowned, reducing her eyes to two onyx slits.

Call off the lawsuit? Her immediate reaction was no, not in a million years. She couldn't go through that humilliation. Just imagine… Chris would win, and all the other ex-contestants that had constantly told her she would never get back on the show, would think they were actually right.

Besides, she actually wanted to get back on the show. She wanted to compete again. Playa de Losers was slowly killing her, there was almost nothing she could do but studying for her LSAT's and planning her victorious return.

And of course, listening to her father was tricky business. She didn't approve of many things he had done in his life, like when he turned down that job offer because it meant moving the family to another state, or when he declined that big promotion in order to spend more time at home; and of course, when he decided he no longer loved her mom and picked up his stuff to disappear from their lives for the next six years.

Courtney denounced strongly and in a loud voice everything that bothered her or felt wrong, and that included her own family.

She wouldn't have minded at all moving from Arizona to Oklahoma in favor of his job; in fact, she was almost happy because it meant being a tad closer to the East Coast and the Ivy League. She didn't mind at all changing schools –she could always make new friends-, unlike her siblings who had made a fuss about it.

She herself would have personally pushed him to accept that promotion, that meant a higher status and a bigger pay, hadn't she been so young and unheard at the time.

…And of course, she would've given anything for him not to walk out on her and her family.

But, that was past. Michael had made a big mistake nine years ago, a mistake that had caused him to fall from her graces, and lose all of her respect.

Now, father issues aside, was it really worth to keep a lawsuit she couldn't win? Just because she didn't want to admit she couldn't do it?

The room got hotter for Courtney as she tried to come to a decision. She absent-mindedly noticed the cameras were now going through each of the ex-contestants.

I want to go back, if anything just to punch Gwen's light out for having her goth girl hooks all over Duncan.

Her anger came back in full force at this thought. She frowned determinedly, and then she presented her ultimatum.

"We are gonna sue the pants off this show, Michael!" she declared. "There's nothing you can do to stop it!"

Then she hung up.

She buried her PDA in her back pocket and leaned back crossing her arms over her chest, flustered.

And that was another great conversation with Daddy.

Courtney rubbed her temples.

Hn. Goth girl hooks. I've got to remember to say that to her face sometime.

So up to now, you get a scene from the present, and then Courtney has a big flashback, in which we start seeing the story from the begining, 'kay?

And yes, I took my liberties with 'Michael'. She never did confirm he was her lawyer, that I know of. (Correct me if I'm wrong.)

Also, tell me if I abused the italics too much.

~The Lighthouse