Okay, so, this is my first Star Trek story! WOO!
I've been excited about this for awhile. My friends and I are currently on the path to becoming Trekkies, and it's a corruption that I enjoy greatly. So please read, review, and give as much advice as you would like :)
Oh, and this was almost entirely inspired by GactkGoddessShoujo's Kirk/Spock/Uhura video on YouTube, titled "You Belong with Me." It's amazing and I highly recommend it to any Kirk/Spock fan. If any of you have accounts there, please thank her for me!
Dedicated to Leila, Acelynn, and Hero. You girls keep me going.
How to Save a Life
The U.S.S. Enterprise was quiet. Too quiet. Apart from the steady beeps and hums of the machinery, there was absolutely no noise. The air was filled with a strange silence, almost mimicking space itself, and it was entirely due to the fact that Captain James T. Kirk was entirely hushed in his chair. For the first time, he was not ordering around the crew, arguing with Uhura, or making an undeserved comment. The ship was silent as he simply sat there, staring out the large window at the endless realm. He was almost overwhelmed by the darkness, by the dim lighting of the stars, the universe that held so many secrets and discoveries. There was no limit to what it could hold, what it contained, and as Kirk pondered this, his chest ached deeply. Unlike the final frontier in which they traveled, it was filled to capacity and on the brink of release, with barely a force at all suppressing it. There was nothing he could do to stop it, and yet, he desired the ending satisfaction so badly that there was no limit to what he would do to obtain it.
"Captain?"
A small sigh came from Kirk despite his efforts to hide it, and he gritted his teeth at the voice. Eyes averted, he did his best to conceal his emotions, having no choice but to acknowledge the person to approach him. With difficulty, he merely replied, "What is it, First Commander Spock?"
The Vulcan strode over to the captain's chair, noticing that its inhabitant was not looking directly at him, but chose to save the mater for another time. "The ship has received alerts that there are unidentifiable objects in its direct path. What orders would be best?" His face was expressionless, tone monotonous, and it made Kirk sigh once again, though slightly louder this time. The captain narrowed his eyes in frustration, not at the issue that the crew was facing, but selfishly at his own internal battles. Spock's voice penetrated his ears with the air of curiosity, and Kirk could not take any action to withhold it. He fought back every bit of emotion that he had, and chose instead to distract himself with the matter at hand.
"Do we have any idea what it could be?" he questioned, getting up from his chair and peering out the large window at the empty darkness.
Spock shook his head slightly as he looked at the map. "No," he said. "There is no inclination that points towards any life form, planet, or ship that is in the path."
Uhura checked her headset to confirm Spock's statement. "I'm not picking up any frequencies," she added slowly, just as curious as the rest of the crew.
"In that case," Spock began, "then the most logical decision would be to—"
The Vulcan was cut off by a series of rapid alarms coming from the control panel. The young Ensign Chekov looked at the screen, reading the message in spite of the loud noise emitting from the ship. His eyes grew wider as he read it, fingers trembling on the screen.
"Ve have received a distress signal from our base on Earth," he paraphrased. "An asteroid belt close to the atmosphere has been corrupted by some unknown force, most likely by a Romulan ship, and has altered its course and state of being into a meteor shower." Upon further inspection, his words slowed down in awe and shock, completely overcome by surprise. "If my calculations are correct…the speed at vich the meteors are traveling vill result in their penetration of the atmosphere before this ship could encounter it. The impacts will occur soon...by the time ve reach the planet, it will have already occurred."
The room was silent yet again as he finished, staring blankly at the map in front of him. The alerts had quieted now, and none of the crewmembers had any response to the crisis. The stillness pierced the air harshly, all of them fearful and filled with overwhelming shock, rendering them unable to respond. However, Spock's logical instincts took over, and he proposed a solution.
"There is nothing we can do," he plainly stated, eliminating the quiet aura in the room. His words at last snapped the captain out of his subdued and conflicted state, and despite the fact that he respected Spock's intelligence and opinion, he was completely outraged.
"Nothing we can do?" he fired back. "Are you completely unaware of the fact that this is my home planet, with billions of innocent inhabitants soon to have their lives taken away from them by a force that we have the ability to stop?"
Spock glared at the captain, but with slight remorse. "That is highly illogical. The mathematical statistics prove that there is no course of action we could pursue that would allow us to save the planet. Not only is the force too powerful altogether, but the lives of every crewmember would be endangered, or even disposed of. The earth will be impacted by the meteors, and we can venture down to see what is left after the fact."
Kirk spun around, now staring directly at the Vulcan. He strongly disliked having to argue with his first commander, as it deeply strained him internally, but he had little choice. "There isn't going to be an earth if we don't do what we can to stop it. Are you incapable of comprehending that? They are peaceful people, with no idea that this will occur. There are even Vulcan colonies down there, and it appears to me that you don't even care, do you?" He stepped forward, glancing around the ship. Much to his dismay, he could not make eye contact with any of the crewmembers, all of whom were either too traumatized to speak, or completely taken aback by Spock's rational determination. He was nearly at a loss for words as his own crew could not respond to the situation, and how they instead chose to accept the fact that the destruction of their home was under way. "Do any of you care?"
"Whether or not we care is entirely irrelevant," Spock retaliated. "Nothing can be done once the course of action has already been established, and therefore—"
He was cut off once more by the captain's sudden change in dialogue. "For God's sake, there are families down there!" Kirk said, outraged. "Homes, establishments, colonies, creatures of all species…and none of you are even considering the fact that we might be able to save it?"
"Give it up, Jim," a quiet voice said from the corner of the room. "It's over. He's right, and you know it. Soon it won't even matter."
Kirk's head shot in the direction of the speaker. "Your family is down there too, Bones," he responded, utterly stunned at how even the doctor, one of his most trusted allies, was against him as well. "That won't matter to you when they are destroyed?"
Bones was quiet, having no response to the captain. True, he would feel the impact of the event with equal despair as the remaining crewmembers, but for the first time in his life, he agreed with Spock rather than Kirk. The latter let out a frustrated growl, storming over to the Vulcan, still with no written emotion upon his face. Kirk's voice dropped to a normal level as he made one final attempt at reasoning.
"Does it evade your mind that every second we waste brings death closer to your people as well as mine?" Kirk argued, and yet he received no outward sentimental change in his opposition.
Spock sighed calmly before answering. "I deeply regret the decision, but there is no other choice."
At this statement, Kirk was very nearly pushed over the edge. His insides were conflicted; half of him wanted to continue the quarrel with his first commander, but the other part knew that he would accomplish nothing from the matter. Instead, he merely glared at the Vulcan and stormed out of the room towards the lower parts of the ship, with Spock and Bones in quick pursuit. Neither acknowledging their presence nor bothering to admit his deep thoughts, he continued on towards the smaller vessels used for emergencies. He had no intention of letting his home planet be destroyed, and he could not allow any more emotional pain to be brought to his crew, especially those who had suffered so much already, though he really was only doing this for one in particular.
"Where are you going?" he heard Bones' voice cry out from behind him as he reached the smaller shuttles, preparing one for launch.
"To see what I can do to stop this," Kirk murmured, starting up the engine and ordering the doors to be opened for his departure. "I refuse to see destruction be the result of something I could have prevented. This shuttle is much faster and lighter than the Enterprise, so I should be able to make it to the shower before it impacts." Before he could step in the ship, however, he felt a firm hand on his shoulder.
"Do not risk your life," Spock said, looking him straight in the eye. "There is nothing to be gained."
Kirk shook his head and pulled away from Spock's grip, much to the apprehension of the other two blue-clad figures. "When and if I return…you are captain now, Spock. Watch over everyone, will you, Bones? I'll be satisfied knowing that everything that has ever mattered to me is safe. That's all I could ask for."
And with that, he closed the door of the ship, with Spock and Bones having nothing to do but watch as he steered it out of the Enterprise and out to space, quickly disappearing into the darkness. The former had nothing written upon his face apart from slight confusion, but found it entirely logical to return to the center of the ship and give orders, putting the lives of the crew at first priority. Having made this decision, he nodded curtly to himself and made an about-face, striding past Bones and heading back in the direction he came. The doctor noticed this, fury igniting, and threw every bit of courtesy aside, replacing it with sheer truth and determination.
"Permission to speak, Captain?" Bones' bitter tone stopped the retreating Vulcan in his tracks, and the latter turned around, slightly confused. His eyebrows arched in curiosity, but nevertheless responded.
"Of course," he said slowly, unable to comprehend the doctor's emotions. Within seconds, he was completely taken aback as the human attacked him verbally, sending him into spiraling perplexity.
"Don't you understand?" Bones roared angrily, nearly sending Spock reeling backwards on his heels. "For God's sake, he's in love with you! He's always loved you. And he's about to die out there. Alone. For you!" He shook his head, eyes narrowed. "And yet, you think nothing of the matter. You feel nothing. You Vulcans have no emotion whatsoever, and you could care less if he sacrifices himself for you. Maybe after he's dead, you'll feel upset for once, and you'll damn well know what he's felt since the beginning."
Bones' heart was racing as he finished, chest heaving deeply from yelling, completely flustered. Despite that he remained in the room, Spock had never felt more alone, more isolated, more in solitude. There was absolutely zero expression upon his face at all. For the first time in his life, he had nothing to say.
Reading his expression, the doctor couldn't help but let out a sarcastic chuckle. "You just don't get it, do you?" he said, his tone a little bit softer.
"Actually," Spock murmured. "I do."
Bones watched in amusement and curiosity as the Vulcan strode over to another emergency ship, unlocking the doors electronically. His body was halfway inside when he was interrupted again by the doctor.
"Now where do you think you're going?" he demanded, utterly confused. He leaned against the wall in exasperation, glaring at Spock.
"To Earth," came the reply. "A planet is in danger, and it is my duty to serve the Federation at all costs. That includes rescuing my fallen captain." This statement managed to infuriate Bones even more.
"Are you out of your mind?" he questioned, eyebrows narrowed. "Kirk has little chance of survival, even if you do go after him. And even then, the possibility that you will both return alive is very slim. There is no logical explanation for why you would make such a decision, and if there were, you of all people would not act upon it. You're going to risk your life, and probably die, for something that may not be worth it."
Spock glanced one final time at the doctor before closing the door to the ship. "If it is worth it…then so be it."
Bones shook his head slowly as he watched the second shuttle launch from the Enterprise, completely baffled. He had no idea what Spock's true intention was, nor did he wish to know, but he could not help but hope that he comprehended what he was doing.
"Unbelievable," he muttered, turning around and heading back to the center of the ship.
The emergency shuttle raced at warp speed through the darkness in search of its sister vessel. Its master controlled the dials, pored over the maps, fixated his eyes on the empty frontier. He saw nothing for several moments, feeling the air pressing upon him with brute strength that had never presented itself before. Slowly, but surely, he was allowing his concealed and compressed sentiments to reach his inner core, a rare occurrence but an impacting one nonetheless. It was not something to be acknowledged often, for the consequences could be severe, but he was entirely determined to find an answer, quench his curiosity. Of course, he was utterly unsure of what that was…but now it had been presented to him, and he would stop at nothing to fulfill it.
Spock's eyes traveled all throughout the ship, searching for an object of focus to distract himself from being overwhelmed by thoughts. The tiny aircraft was traveling at its top speed, and yet, the Vulcan felt that it was not going fast enough. He was only minutes away from the planet, but each one felt like a light-year. The steady beeps emitting from the control panel told him that he was entering the atmosphere. From the moment he heard the first sound, Spock's head shot up as he noticed Earth coming into view. However, it only took a few moments for his breath to hitch in his throat with shock.
There were not one, not two, but four asteroids that had become detached from the asteroid belt and in the direction of the planet, and he assumed there had been more, were it not for the departure Kirk had made moments before. Their speed was astonishing, and the Vulcan had to wonder how they had not made an impact yet. Within a few seconds, he recognized a small metal ship not unlike the one in which he sat, firing weapons at the falling space rocks. He squinted through the blinding phaser beams erupting from Kirk's ship, making every attempt to distinguish the moving objects. With difficulty, he managed to lock onto a signal as he approached it, making contact with the human.
"Captain Kirk," he commanded into the speaker as the ship hurtled towards the meteors. "Do you read me?"
He received no immediate response as he steered his vessel in the direction of the other, adjusting his headset in the hopes that he would, even for a slight second, hear the comforting voice of his captain. When it did not come, he sighed in frustration, quickly brooding over his possible choices. It took him the smallest of moments to realize that he could in no way turn his back on Kirk, separate the bond that had formed between them over time, and abandon the reason that Earth and the entire crew of the Enterprise would survive. Though his heart was conflicted, it was able to settle on one precise goal.
His long fingers grasped around the throttle and pushed it forward, reeling backwards in his seat slightly as the ship thrust in the air towards the other. He gave verbal orders to the control panel to arm the weapons; momentarily, they were aimed at the same object as Kirk's. His captain had managed to annihilate another meteor in the time it took Spock to make his decision, leaving three in line with the planet and gaining speed. However, before he could fire, his hand froze upon the controls.
"Spock!"
The voice was filled with static, but nonetheless recognizable. Spock reacted instantly, pressing a button to reconnect with the other ship. "Captain, Captain, can you hear me? We must turn back immediately."
"No," came the response, growing fainter with each moment. "We need to…destroy…planet gone…two left…help…"
The Vulcan rapidly flicked switches and spun dials on the panel, but it was no use. He was losing the signal with each passing moment, unable to differentiate between Kirk's cries for assistance and the sounds of the machinery growing louder as pieces from the third shattered meteor nearly came in contact with it. The portions of the space rocks that Kirk had not managed to vanquish were breaking into smaller portions that would eventually be destroyed by the time they reached the planet, with no harm to the earth. Although Kirk's progress was slow but steady, the largest of the meteors still remained and was dangerously close to impact.
"Hold on!" Kirk's voice rasped through the speaker, and Spock could do nothing but watch as Kirk's ship swerved out of the way of the incoming meteor, firing at it with immense speed. Smoke erupted from its core, yet it showed no signs of slowing down. It was only several thousand meters away from the surface, and despite that Spock reached a point where he was raising his voice into the speaker, Kirk refused to back down and abandon his home planet. Kirk's vessel was gaining momentum, as was the meteor, as close to the planet as they could possibly get without impacting it. Spock raced towards the other ship with heightened intensity, trying his best to aid Kirk in destroying the meteor before it destroyed him.
"Spock." The signal from Kirk's ship was nearly broken, but Spock pressed the headset to his pointed ear, desperate for even the slightest reassurance from his captain. "Spock, I just want you to know that I—"
Kirk's voice turned to static and Spock felt his heart sink with horror as the last of the meteors exploded in front of him, transforming into a million tiny pieces that would have little to zero effect when and if they reached the planet. The captain's small emergency ship, however, was nowhere to be seen. Breathing heavily, Spock scanned the space in front of his ship, shouted into the headset, and searched across the maps upon the panel, but it was no use. The signal from Kirk's ship had disappeared entirely.
"No…no…" he murmured, initiating a faster speed with his ship as he raced towards the planet. It took him only a few seconds to detect an eruption of smoke from somewhere near a field in the western United States. Upon further inspection, he found the signal yet again, and dived. He had no idea where he was headed, no clue what was happening; he only understood what was happening at that moment, what mattered to him, putting his entire life at risk for the sake of his captain. Normally, he would have abandoned all hope and strength in order to protect the others, but it was a different case.
This was Captain James T. Kirk's life hanging by a thread, and Spock would quite literally go to the ends of the earth to save it.
Due to the erupting flame that was quickly spreading through an abandoned cornfield from the emergency vessel, Spock was barely able to land. He threw open the door to his shuttle, not bothering to wear an oxygen suit or shut off the engine, and peered through the roaring fire in an attempt to find his captain. His arm hurt badly from gripping onto the edge of his seat so tightly, but he willed himself to ignore the pain entirely, for Kirk's sake.
"Kirk?" he said, almost afraid that he would not receive a response. Beginning to panic, an emotion he had only felt a few times before, he let it overcome him in the hopes that it would aid him in finding his captain. "Kirk!"
Spock was screaming now, raising his voice to the top of his lungs over the screech of metal and the crackling of fire, seeing nowhere to go, nowhere to run. He was almost completely surrounded by fire, the heat scorching his skin, singeing his clothes, but he didn't care. Nothing else mattered. Nothing else would matter unless he found his captain, found redemption, found everything that meant the most to him. It was the first time he had admitted it to himself that his care for Kirk had escalated to an unexplainable level, and yet, he did not regret it in the slightest.
The Vulcan's senses heightened as he smelled burning metal, and looked directly to his right. There, amongst the fire, was the emergency ship, emitting smoke so thick and dark that it was barely recognizable. Spock coughed harshly to rid the smog from his lungs as he ran through the field, tripping over rocks and charred ears of corn, dodging the flame as best he could. He let out no sound as his pant leg caught fire, but continued pounding his legs against the ground, trying to shout his captain's name once more. However, the smoke had filled his throat to the point that he could barely whisper, and as he reached the vessel, his eyes stung badly, rendering it almost impossible to see. Despite this, he was completely and utterly determined to find Kirk and do everything he could to keep him alive, even if it meant sacrificing himself for the benefit of his captain.
There was no explanation for how Spock managed to fight his way over to the ship, but he did so with immense willpower. The hull was cracked, the glass shattered, the oxygen from the inside only fueling the flame around him. He peered through the front window and swallowed deeply at the sight of his captain, unconscious, covered in dark blood and slumped forward in his chair, one hand still around the headset. Spock said his name once more in vain, but it came out as nothing more than a whisper. He refused to leave him there although he may be dying, or already dead, and even so, he could not let him breathe his last in this desolate place, at least, not alone. With great difficulty, he climbed upon the ship, the temperature burning his skin, and slid his body inside.
"Captain," he gasped, almost hesitant to touch him. "Kirk…"
Facing his fears, he lifted the human in his arms with a strength he didn't know he possessed. Kirk's body was limp; his arms, legs, and head were dangling, but Spock carried him anyway, out of the damaged ship and to his own vessel. There, as long as it was not completely engulfed in flames, he could contact the Enterprise and beam aboard the larger ship, with Kirk, whether or not he held any bit of life inside him. Somehow, he struggled back the way he came, with more difficulty this time on account of the rising flame and Kirk in his grasp. Giving up, however, was not an option; he would either make it back to the ship with Kirk, or die in the field with him.
It was then that Spock at last understood what he felt, every little bit of it, and comprehended all that was going on in Kirk's mind as well. He could not, however, identify why he had not recognized it beforehand, but it made no difference. At that very moment, Kirk was everything that mattered, everything that always had, and always would matter.
A low grunt escaped from his lips as he gently heaved Kirk's body partially onto the captain's chair in his undamaged vessel and attempted to contact the larger ship."Enterprise, do you read me?" he rasped into the speaker. "Beam us up."
He breathed a sigh of relief as he heard Chekov's familiar voice return his call. "Right avay, sir. Don't move."
Within seconds, Spock watched as the fiery environment began to vanish around him. A chill passed through his body as he clung tight to that of his captain. He heard the smallest of moans escape from Kirk's lips, and disregarding Chekov's order, his head shot downward to gaze at his face. As the atmosphere of the Enterprise began to take form, Kirk stirred slightly in his arms, making a soft sound yet again. His hand reached down to lift up his head, holding his breath in anticipation. Shaking his head slowly, the Vulcan couldn't help but let out a quiet chuckle.
"Why do you love me?" he murmured, pushing the singed hair out of Kirk's face. He pressed a hand to the human's forehead in an effort to stop the profuse bleeding that was seeping from another wound. Despite the situation, he couldn't help but allow the tiniest of smiles rise from the corner of his lips.
"Good God, man!"
Spock did not avert his eyes from Kirk as Bones and half of the crew rushed towards the two men, chattering hurriedly and indistinctly. His grip on the body in his arms tightened as he staggered from the platform to the center of the ship, ignoring the requests from the doctor to escort him to the medical wing of the ship. The words that came out of his mouth were incomprehensible and lost amongst the dozen voices around him, his body aching immensely. Nevertheless, he refused to allow the doctor to remove Kirk from his arms.
He traveled in a somewhat daze down the hallway to the medical wing, surrounded by the crew, overwhelmed by the attention and emotion. Bones was running a digital scan on Spock's forehead as he staggered, attempting to converse with the Vulcan, but his efforts were rebutted. Spock had made up his mind completely to put Kirk before himself, and he would see this notion through or die trying. The moment he reached the wing, he placed the barely conscious captain onto a small white bed, ensuring that he was in the care of the crew. Spock's breathing was heavy and faint, but he smiled a little more as Kirk's eyes opened just enough to see his savior.
"Spock?" he muttered, the word barely understandable. The man above him nodded curtly, silencing the captain in an attempt to reassure him.
"Sleep…" he whispered. "You are safe now."
And with that, he promptly collapsed to the floor next to Kirk's bed, entirely unconscious and surrounded by a world of darkness.
"Mmm…" Kirk opened his eyes slightly and was met with piercing fluorescent light, instantly regretting the desire to acknowledge his surroundings. His head throbbed with the pain of a thousand knives, each of his limbs with identical pain, and he had little intention of awakening fully. Within a few moments, however, his vision came into clear view, and the familiar setting instantly told him that he was in the emergency ward of the Enterprise. It took him little more than a second to remember the course of events of the previous day.
The meteor…the crash…Spock…
In an instant, Kirk sat upright, gasping in both pain and realization. How he ended up on the ship was far beyond his reckoning, and the fact that he was alive caused an even bigger strain on his mind. He let out a loud groan as the pulsing on his temples continued, causing dizziness to flood him completely, giving him the inability to sit up for another moment, let alone walk the ship in a daze and attempt to figure out the details. Not only did his head ache with tenderness, but his heart mimicked it, pounding in its cavity with guilt and concern, unaware of what happened to his crew, his planet, and more importantly, his first commander. The combination of thoughts and pain was nearly too much for the struggling captain, and he nearly toppled over from loss of balance and sight. Before he hit the floor, however, two strong yet kind arms took hold of him, placing him carefully back on the bed.
"Shh…" a gentle voice spoke. "It is all right now."
Words fought in Kirk's mouth with much effort, but again the tone hushed him. The injured human could do nothing but oblige, seeing as he was in no position for resistance. He found himself lying down again, his vision slowly coming back into focus as he distinguished a thin figure bustling around the room, gathering materials on a small metal tray. Kirk could not help but emit a small whimper as the slightest amount of pressure was applied to his forehead, a tiny drop of liquid oozing down to his cheek.
"Your attempt to recover so quickly resulted in your bandages coming undone," Spock mused quietly, applying more gauze to his captain's wounds. His face was nearly expressionless apart from his eyebrows barely creased in worry as he carefully removed the dripping redness from Kirk's fair skin. The injured man could only lie there, consumed in thoughts and trying to reorganize his mind and body. Despite his weakened condition, his blood still pumped mercilessly through his veins and heart as the soft touch of the Vulcan continued. He closed his eyes and sighed, doing his very best to relax, but it was effortless. With each passing second, the emotion swelled until it was almost to the point where it would burst from restraint. Unbeknownst to him, Spock allowed the most subtle of smirks to extend across his face, doing his best to ensure that the greatest of care was put into restoring Kirk's health.
The moment that Kirk felt the cool touch of Spock's fingers leave his face, his eyes opened yet again, but with remorse in place of anticipation. The Vulcan's back was to him, sterilizing the used bandages before throwing them away, and Kirk barely had the courage to look at him. Spock was limping slightly, avoiding use of his left arm as much as possible, and the sight nearly broke Kirk to pieces. Taking entire responsibility for what happened, he turned his face away, staring at the wall instead of his company. There stood his savior, the reason he was alive, and he was recovering from injuries on Kirk's account. Deeply hurt, both physically and emotionally, the captain fought to hold his tears inside, refusing to succumb to his weak human emotions. And yet, in spite of everything that occurred, the most inflicting sentiment he felt was utmost gratitude.
"Why?"
The word came almost inaudibly from Kirk's lips and nearly startled the other occupant, freezing him in his tracks. Spock did not turn around, but merely continued putting the medical supplies away again and typing something in a medical log. The half-smile was gone from his face, as was the worried crease in his eyebrows, but there was no inner change regarding his emotions. His breathing was slow and constricted, making every effort to trace back to his Vulcan aspects of meditation, but it was useless. He had allowed himself to succumb to what he felt, breaking the dam inside him and releasing the flood of emotions that had aroused over the last few days. Never before had he experienced this kind of centralized breakdown, and it was unlike anything he had been through. The only thing he was able to logically comprehend was that there was no turning back once he had reached this point. It was over, and he could no longer fight it.
"What are you proposing?" he murmured, turning his body at last so that he could view Kirk's. To his surprise, his captain was not looking him directly in the eye, but rather in the opposite direction. "I am not quite sure I understand."
Kirk made a face in frustration, purposely out of Spock's view. Determined to find the answers, he asked, "You know perfectly well what I mean. What happened? Why did you come after me…?" His voice trailed off as he spoke, a combination of breathlessness and confusion. Unable to comprehend anything that went on in the Vulcan's mind, he could not help but question the matter. Thoughts buzzed around in his brain like angry insects, persistent to settle the fire that had been extending for so long.
It was Spock's turn to sigh as he walked towards the bed, almost hesitatingly. "Did I have a choice?" he pondered aloud, though the question was more meant for himself than for the human. "There was no other logical decision—"
"That's a lie," Kirk hissed, though it was really more of a struggle for breath, which was becoming more restrained the longer he contemplated the situation. "Bones put you up to this, didn't he? Didn't he?" Kirk's tone was becoming more heightened by the second, his anger rising. Refusing to listen to another word, he sat up again, despite the sharp pain he instantly felt in his forehead. "That's all you ever damn think about is logic! There's never a time where you would even think about acting on a decision based entirely upon your own desire to. I almost rather wish I were still on that godforsaken planet, suffering slowly inside my ship. At least I would have died protecting something I am devoted to, which is far more than the likes of you would ever hope to accomplish."
The words were released quickly, and Kirk barely realized what he had said until it was already in the air. Spock did nothing but simply stare at him, face blank, heart racing. The captain ignored his bruised, aching body and swung his legs over the side of the bed. Before he could stand up, however, the combined forces of weight and dizziness overcame him, and he collapsed to the floor, his throbbing limbs hitting the cold metal with a hollow thud. He cried out softly in pain, and to his surprise, the Vulcan was at his side once more, adjusting Kirk's body so he was sitting up against the wall, leaning backwards upon it. His arms supported the human firmly with no hint of release. The moment that the air flow to and from Kirk's lungs managed to maintain a slower pace once more, he swallowed his guilt and forced his head up, looking his first commander directly in the eyes.
"On the contrary," Spock breathed softly, "I already have."
Kirk's eyes widened at Spock's words, completely at a loss for a response. Spock smiled slightly, his hand reaching up to touch the bandages on his captain's head. "You really have to stop straining this wound," he said, pressing the gauze a little firmer to his forehead. Kirk winced faintly at the pressure, but allowed the Vulcan to secure it once more, averting his eyes again. He deeply hoped that Spock could not feel his trembling muscles under his fingertips, the cold sweat that was breaking out on his brow, the shiver that was spreading rapidly with no intention of stopping. He could not, and would not, acknowledge the fact that Spock had risked his life to bring Kirk onto the ship, alive, and aid him in recovery. There was nothing else that mattered to Kirk anymore, nothing that would ever explain what he felt, no words or actions that could describe his intrigue and gratitude and loyalty, and as a result of that, he would never forget this feeling, being whole in Spock's presence with nothing else of equal importance.
If there was one thing he knew, apart from being completely overwhelmed by emotions, it was that Spock had risked his life to come after him, had become injured in the process, but had nevertheless followed him to the end. Out of sheer devotion, not orders, had the Vulcan abandoned the ship to save his human captain, his friend and companion, the object of his faith, and because of that, there was nothing more that could be said to describe the situation.
Shaking his head in disbelief and confusion, still avoiding Spock's gaze, Kirk said, "You…saved my life."
Spock said nothing, but merely let out a small breath, almost finding the task as difficult as Kirk. He slowly lifted his hand from the bandage on his captain's head and instead placed it on Kirk's lower jaw, turning his head so that he was looking him directly in the eyes once more. The orbs of the human met those of the Vulcan, and the fiery strength was unlike anything either of them had ever experienced before. The two breathed together in identical patterns, hearts racing at the same tempo, feeling their eyes spark with intensity as the connection prolonged. Spock's fingers shook as he held the captain's face in his hand, enjoying the blush that was spreading quickly through Kirk's cheek, and he allotted for a slight chuckle to emit from his vocal chords.
"Correction," he murmured, contradicting Kirk's words. Swiftly, but gently, he altered his body so that he was leaning forward, still crouched on the ground in front of his captain. He closed his eyes as he did so, pressing his lips lightly to Kirk's forehead, above the bandage and directly onto the warm skin. A small breath hitched in the human's throat, completely rendering him incapable of inhaling and exhaling properly. The amount of thoughts that consumed his mind was immense, and yet, he could focus on nothing but Spock's presence, the feel of their physical connection, delving into emotions that even Spock did not know was possible. Kirk allowed his eyes to close as well, eliminating all thoughts from his brain apart from those centered around himself and Spock.
Seconds passed with the appearance of hours to both of them before Spock removed the contact from Kirk. Their eyes fluttered open simultaneously; the former's were bright and kind, the latter's wide yet relaxed. Neither of them would ever be able to put into words what was occurring in their minds at that moment, but unbeknownst to the both of them, the sentiments were more similar than they could have ever imagined. Spock inclined his head slightly, a smirk upon his face again, nodding curtly at Kirk's empty expression. The human could not help but mirror his appearance, hardly daring to believe that Spock was actually feeling something, something stronger than he could have ever assumed, and it would never be rivaled for the duration of his life. Spock let out a sigh, his hand still holding the captain's face, and finding very few words to say except the contradiction he had originally intended, for there was nothing else he could ever say that would completely fulfill what he desired.
"You saved mine."