It wouldn't be the first time Tobirama has had to skirt a moping drunk on his way back home from the library on a Friday night, but it's the first time he's stopped, or cared.
He recognises the young man. He's not sure if he'd go so far as to say they're friends, but he and Kagami have worked together, very well, as lab partners for the last few months. Tobirama would even go so far as to say that he's somewhat fond of the young Uchiha, although he's aware of the fact that the term 'crush' should really be applied. Despite coming from one of the largest and most dangerous families in the city, Kagami has a kind, unwavering heart. He doesn't seem to share any of the criminal proclivities of his deranged clan. He's sensible, kind, and always ready with a smile. His inability to succumb to petty, mindless hate won Tobirama over long ago, and the smiles, quick wit and friendliness he showed Tobirama did the rest. The city has seen enough violence. Tobiramas hopes that more Uchiha grow up to be like Kagami.
He can't understand what he's seeing right now, though. It doesn't seem like the bright, optimistic Kagami he knows. Glassy-eyed, the Uchiha leans against the wall and stares up at the sky, the light pollution erasing anything of interest he might be looking at. His gaze is unfocused, his cheeks damp with tears. He looks like he's in shock. A half empty bottle of whisky barely clings to his grasp, and his legs are an uncoordinated mess on the pavement.
It's not hard to deduce that he's upset. It's also not hard to realise that this, whatever it is, is far beyond Tobirama's remit. He's good with the academic side of things. He's no good at comforting anyone. He wouldn't know where to start. He should pretend he hasn't noticed Kagami and head home as intended.
And yet, he finds himself stopping. He stares down at Kagami for so long, wondering what in the world to do, the almost insensate drunk registers his presence. His head turns in an eerie, owlish fashion, dark eyes staring up at Tobirama. He's a mess. Tobirama can't leave him.
He's moving before he can really assess what in the world he's doing. He extends his hand, a gruff 'come on' on his lips. Kagami stares at his hand and then looks away.
"Kagami," Tobirama says in warning, a little stung by the dismissal. "I'm not leaving you to sit here all night. Come with me."
Slowly, Kagami reaches for Tobirama's hand. It's cold. Tobirama wonders how long Kagami has been sitting there. The bottle of spirits slip from Kagami's fingers as he stands. It doesn't smash, but it rolls away, whisky spilling out, and Kagami curses.
"You've had enough," Tobirama reminds him.
Kagami grunts, and sways towards Tobirama as he tries to remember how to get his feet to work. "Where are we going?" he asks.
Tobirama can think of nowhere else: "Home."
"Oh," Kagami breathes, sniffing and wiping at the tears drying on his cheeks. He shivers, and concern grips Tobirama. Before he can think twice about what he's doing, he's unzipping his coat.
"Here," he says, shrugging it off. "You need it more than I do."
In the cold night air it's not something he does lightly, and if he's honest he wouldn't even want to do for Hashirama, but he's not far from home, and he hates the sad sight Kagami is. The hoodie Kagami is wearing isn't suited for the weather. With deft movements, Tobirama wraps his coat around Kagami's trembling shoulders, pulling it closed at his sternum.
"Oh," Kagami says again, fingers coming up to hold it closed and touch the soft fur around the collar. He seems dazed, and a little in awe. "Thank you."
"Do you need to lean on me?" Tobirama offers. He's had to help an inebriated Hashirama on more than one occasion, but doesn't think that he should assume it's okay to manhandle a classmate he's never been brave enough to talk to outside of labs and lectures, even if they do have a lot of them together.
Kagami shakes his head. "'m fine," he insists, and Tobirama is relieved that he seems it. His footsteps aren't as sure as they ought to be, but he walks by Tobirama's side with only a few missteps.
It's only when, a silent winding street and a few doors later, they stop outside of Tobirama's building that Kagami falters. He sways as Tobirama pulls his keys from he jeans, tugging the coat from his shoulders - the coat he has disappeared into a little more with each step they've taken. Tobirama should mind, but the sight of Kagami shielding himself from the cold with his jacket doesn't irk him in the slightest. If anything, it makes him feel affectionate. He likes it, even. The long hours in the library are perhaps taking their toll.
"What are you doing?" he asks as Kagami tries to return the garment.
"I thought... I'm going home."
"I don't know where you live," Tobirama says, pointing out the obvious. He wraps the coat around Kagami's shoulders once again, feeling the distracting warmth of Kagami's whisky-sweet breath against his lips. He has a vague idea that Kagami lives a bus ride away, as he's seen him spilling off of the #19 with seemingly every other student who has 8am lectures, but he doesn't even know where that bus goes, or if there is one at such an ungodly hour. He also isn't sure he wants Kagami to go home alone - not if he's in such a state.
"I thought, as my place is closer, it was the most obvious choice," Tobirama continues. "Do you want to go home? I can walk with you, if you like, or call you a taxi?"
"No, it's... Are you sure it's okay to come in?"
"I wouldn't have offered if it wasn't."
Kagami smiles at that, the expression a little strained and barely reaching his eyes, but it does something that leaves Tobirama warm, despite the frigid air.
"Okay," Kagami agrees, and allows Tobirama to guide him up to his flat.
It's on the top floor, and quiet. Tobirama is eternally grateful that his neighbour and the flat downstairs are model occupants. He hears them coming and going now and then, but they, for the most part, are as silent as he is.
He shows Kagami into the open plan living-room-cum-kitchen, and leaves the Uchiha to settle on the near pristine sofa as he goes to make tea. He comes back with two steaming hot mugs, and notices that Kagami hasn't yet removed his jacket. He's leaning back, his eyes closed and face lax. He looks exhausted. Tobirama sets the tea down on the coffee table beside in front of him, removing the paper he'd been reading for his own entertainment the night before and taking a seat on the slightly more used single seat.
"My girlfriend dumped me," Kagami says at last. His fingers twitch against the sleeve of Tobirama's coat.
It's the moment Tobirama dreaded, and he's still not sure what to say. He looks down at his own tea. He hadn't realised Kagami had a girlfriend, which, he thinks, is silly. Of course Kagami has a girlfriend. Not everyone is as useless at romance and friendship as he is. Kagami is exactly the sort of warm, kind-hearted, handsome young man anyone would want to be with.
"I'm sorry," he offers, his own words sounding stiff and awkward to his own ears.
If Kagami hears the same thing, he doesn't let on. "Yeah, me too," he breathes, nuzzling the fur of Tobirama's coat for a brief moment and sighing. "It was just a few weeks, but I thought we had something good."
"You will be able to find it again," Tobirama reassures him, before realising he could probably be a little more sympathetic. "I mean, maybe it's not really over with her. Perhaps it's just a... blip."
Kagami snorts, and makes no further effort to move. "Oh no, it's definitely over. She knows my secret. She knows I like someone else."
The whole thing is getting messier by the second, and Tobirama grimaces.
"I made the mistake of telling her," Kagami continues. "I'd promised myself I wouldn't tell anyone, but then I got stupid and honest and before I knew it..."
He waves his hand in a vague gesture, and lets it crash back down to the sofa with a thump. Dejection creases his handsome face, and tears threaten to leak from his tightly scrunched eyes.
"If you don't mind my asking," Tobirama says, tentative and unsure of how much is allowed between them. He might like and care about Kagami, but they're lab partners, acquaintances at best. They don't really know each other. "Why were you with her if you like someone else?"
The corners of Kagami's mouth turn down to an alarming, unhappy degree, and for a moment he's lost in whatever misery it is he's feeling. Tobirama quickly decides he shouldn't have asked. He's completely out of his depth. Having this sort of conversation with someone while sober is difficult enough, but with a drunk...
"I..." Kagami manages. "I don't even think this guy likes me."
Guy? Tobirama's mind trips over the detail, and he stares at Kagami in a new light. "You're gay?"
"No, I'm bi," Kagami counters. "Which is even worse, apparently."
Irritation unfurls within Tobirama. "Says who?" he challenges.
Oblivious to his tone, Kagami gives another distracted wave of his hand. "Everyone."
Tobirama forces himself to relax back into his seat, letting go of the anger building within him. He stares at Kagami, at the unhappy young man enveloped in his coat, and can't help hating whoever made him feel like that.
"Well, everyone is wrong," he manages in a far more even tone than his indignation demands.
"You don't hate me?"
Kagami has opened his eyes, and is watching him. Tobirama can't help frowning. If anything, exactly the opposite is true. "No. Why should I?"
"Aren't you creeped out that I like guys too?"
Taking a breath to steady himself, and hoping his voice doesn't shake, Tobirama answers him. "That sort of thing does not bother me. If any of the people I know are bisexual I am unaware of it, but you are certainly not the only man I know who is attracted to other men."
"I'm not?" Kagami asks, visibly relaxing.
"No, you are not."
Reassured, Kagami at last sits forward and takes his tea. He wraps his hands around it and smiles softly into the mug. "Thank you," he says, his gaze flickering towards Tobirama.
Tobirama isn't sure if he's talking about the tea, or something more, but he answers him all the same, wondering if Kagami will remember this in the morning: "You're welcome."
"You're a good friend," Kagami announces.
To his horror, Tobirama finds himself blushing. His usually pale cheeks burn with sudden embarrassment, and he finds himself standing abruptly. "Excuse me," he mutters.
He heads for the airing cupboard, opening it and rummaging through the neatly arranged contents for suitable bedding. He feels Kagami approach, the other man's presence making him tense, but he doesn't turn around. He's pretty sure he can't. He can't account for the way Kagami's words have affected him.
"People don't tell you that often, do they?" Kagami deduces.
"I don't exactly have friends," Tobirama tells the pile of bath sheets as he reaches for a pillowcase. "You've worked with me. I'm sure you can understand."
"Not really, no. We're friends, aren't we?"
He stills at those words, unsure of what to do or say next. He's aware of how close Kagami is.
"Tobirama," Kagami breathes, Tobirama's name soft and sweet with his tongue. "Do you like me?"
Pulling the bedding into his arms, Tobirama tries to work out how to escape the situation. He can't face this. His stomach is a knot of irrational anxiety, his heart racing to prepare his body for flight. The simple, honest answer is one he can't give.
He tries to steel himself as he turns, to keep his expression blank. He hopes the blush is no longer evident, although isn't sure luck is on his side there.
"You're a really great guy, Kagami," he starts, and then falters when his gaze meets Kagami's.
"But...?" Kagami prompts, clearly not wanting to hear more.
There is no 'but'. Kagami is beautiful. He's handsome, smart, kind and clever, and all the things Tobirama wishes he could find in a partner. He's even patient with Tobirama's methods in their shared research, sometimes teasing but always respecting the way he works in the lab. When they first met, Tobirama knew Kagami was an Uchiha. He'd already decided to treat him with extreme caution, but, with just a smile - a simple, honest smile - Kagami won him over. He'd melted a part of Tobirama's heart he hadn't even known was frozen.
He can't help but notice the way Kagami's gaze flickers lower as they watch each other, falling to his mouth for the briefest of moment. He swallows, anxious, and feels caught as he realises how little distance there is left between them. All that shields him is an armful of bedding, and Tobirama clutches it to his chest as if it can save him. He can smell the sweetness of Kagami's breath, the whisky mixed with tea, and he almost shivers as he realises that the possibility of kissing him is suddenly very real. It would take the slightest of movements. It would be so easy for either of them to lean in, for Tobirama to press his mouth against the gentle bow of Kagami's lips and feel the softness of them. He looks back up, sees that Kagami has caught him looking, wanting, and almost breaks.
Almost.
When Kagami leans in, Tobirama snaps back to his senses. A hand comes up to press against Kagami's chest, stopping him.
"No," he says, his voice firm.
Eyes that had fallen half close in anticipation of the kiss widen, the rejection hitting Kagami almost as if it were a physical blow. It hurts Tobirama too. Kagami looks at him, lost.
"You're drunk, Kagami." Tobirama reminds him, gripping tight at the bedding to keep from reaching out. He so desperately wants to.
"But..." Kagami tries to protest. He seems to shrink in on himself as he realises something. "Right. You're not gay," he bites out.
Tobirama finds himself in serious danger of doing something stupid.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have," Kagami concludes, starting to turn away.
Before he can think twice about what he's doing, Tobirama's hand darts out and he grabs Kagami's wrist to keep him from pulling away any further. The moment he realises what he's done he lets go, as if burnt, but the action works. Kagami stands there, listless, waiting for Tobirama's judgement.
"We should talk about this in the morning," he suggests.
Kagami shakes his head. "No. Just forget about it."
"What if I don't want to?" Tobirama challenges, uncharacteristic recklessness gripping him. He thinks of the way Kagami looked at him, and the longing he'd seen in his gaze. His heart is in his throat as he waits for an answer. "Kagami?"
At last, he gets it. Kagami sighs, head bowed to avoid Tobirama's gaze. Tobirama guesses he's embarrassed.
"Okay."
Relief grips him, and Tobirama hugs the bedding to his chest. He's more exhausted than he realised.
They return to the living room, and Tobirama moves the coat from the sofa so he can start making up the bed. Kagami hovers uncertainly by his side, neither helping nor hindering.
"Do you like me?" he asks.
It's funny how the simplest answers can be the hardest to give when they pertain to matters of the heart.
"Yes."
"You're gay."
Despite the statement, Tobirama gets the feeling Kagami is exploring the option, rather than believing it to be the truth.
"My sexual orientation is nothing to do with anyone but myself and those I might choose to be with," Tobirama states as he unfolds the blanket. "But yes. I am gay."
There's a pause before Kagami's next question, and Tobirama stiffens when he hears it.
"Would you let me kiss you if I were sober?"
"Yes," he finds himself admitting.
"So why won't you let me now?"
Tobirama swallows thickly, turning towards Kagami. At the sight of him he forgets what he ought to say about not wanting to be rebound or a replacement.
"Would you want to kiss me if you were sober?"
"I wanted to kiss you three seconds after meeting you."
"Oh," is all he can manage. Dazed by the confession, he finds himself rooted to the spot as Kagami shifts closer, intruding on his personal space.
"We'll talk about it?" Kagami asks, fingers plucking at the front of Tobirama's top and causing his heart to lose all sense of normal rhythm.
"We'll talk about it," he promises, finding his hand on Kagami's hip. He neither pushes him away nor pulls him in, both wanting and knowing he shouldn't take.
Kagami smiles, and Tobirama knows he's done for.
"Good," the Uchiha murmurs, the happiness in that word taking with it the last of Tobirama's restraint. When Kagami leans in, Tobirama pulls him closer, foregoing all sense and reason and surrendering to what they both want. It's beyond reckless, and he knows he shouldn't do it, but he does it anyway. Kagami tastes of bitter tea and spirits, and of everything Tobirama has ever longed for. His heart aches with happiness and longing, and he can't conceive of breaking the kiss, of ever pulling away.
Kissing Kagami is the stupidest decision he's ever made, and the best, and he knows he'll never regret it.