A/N – I do not own the twilight books (because if I did Jacob would be with Edward and Bella would be with Alice and Jasper would be with me!)

Another note is my fic is set after 'Twilight' and none of the other books have happened. So here you are my lovely's

I never made it in time, she's gone.

I still keep thinking about James's smug expression even when I ripped his head from his body there was still that smirk. He'd killed her, the love of my unnaturally long life was gone forever and I'd have to spend eternity alone.

"I'm sorry son" Carlisle had said as he gripped my shoulder sympathetically before walking away to help burn the pieces of James leaving me to hold Bella's dead body to my cold marble torso.

Time passes but it doesn't faze me, everything has blended into one long suffering day that never ends. I had promised Carlisle and Esme that I'd try to live on and not give up but after 6 months of feeling nothing and not wanted to feel anything anyway I have to give in.

I sat silently in my seat on the plane with the shutter of my window down but still staring at it as though I could see the sky. I was sitting on the back of the plane so that if the sun did break through nobody would see my glittering skin.

I was going to Italy to face the Volturi and ask for them to take my life from me so that I could finally be at peace and maybe be with Bella. Being the oldest vampires that enforced the laws of our kind I highly doubted they'd kill me just because I ask for it, but I had to try. If that didn't work I'd give them a reason to do it.

A voice floated through the plane telling the passengers, first in Italian then in English that the plane was about to land and to keep our seatbelts on, not that if we crashed it would make much difference to me. I sighed in relief, hopefully it would all be over soon.

"Unfortunately we've decided to deny your request of euthanasia, you're power is to beneficial" my heart sank as my dream was shattered, "I'm sorry my boy."

Aro smiled at me sweetly but his eyes flashed with excitement to see how I would react, "You know I'll get what I want Aro!" I snapped like a child and stormed out the room.

"Such a pity."

As I left I began to rack my brain for ways to break the main law, do not expose our kind to humans. I couldn't think of anything except killing in public but just because I wanted to die didn't mean I wanted to hurt anybody else. As I thought more of my predicament I sensed like I was being watched, I turned quickly to catch whoever it was but there was no one there.

"Edward" I heard a whisper by my ear but as I whipped round in the direction of the voice I found nothing but air.

"Edward!" The voice was louder this time but that was because it seemed farther away, I automatically followed it down to a small alleyway, the voice constantly whispering my name and getting louder in my head with every step.

It was like I was in a trance that I couldn't break free from as I wandered slowly to the bottom of the alley towards nothing. But the voice kept getting louder and more frantic as if they couldn't wait any longer for my arrival. When I reached the end it suddenly stopped and my trance broke leaving me feeling dizzy and disoriented. I stood for a moment waiting for something but there was nothing, I sighed 'I'm losing my mind' I thought and turned to leave the alley.

"Are you lost young man?" a woman said as I turned round, she was almost nose to nose with me. I jumped in fright, how had she got to me so quickly without me sensing it?

"I-I-"

"You seem very lost" she said sadly as if she knew what torment I was going through. She was an elderly woman with long white hair that was tied up with loose strands hanging round her face. He wrinkled face was kind and gentle; her eyes were white and unseeing.

"I'm alright thank you" I said calmly as I recollected myself.

She took hold of my wrist with a surprising strong grip to stop me from leaving, "no my dear boy, I can tell when someone is lost. I may be blind but I can see past appearances straight to the soul." Her voice was like some sweet melody and I got lost in her words, the voice from before it had to be her. She continued, "You have lost someone and it has made you lose your way."

"How do you-"

She raised her wrinkled finger to my lips and said "I know all about you Edward Cullen and what you and your family are." A shot of disbelief ran through me "I know that you lost your love but it should not make you end your life."

At that point I broke from her spell in anger, I snatched my arm away "You know nothing if you think I can live without Bella!"

"There is always life after death my boy and I'm here to give it to you as my last gift." That confused me so I turned to ask her what she meant but she had managed to get right up behind me again and this time she placed both hands on the sides of my face.

A searing pain filled my whole body and my head seemed to be on fire, I screamed in agony as I fell to my knees but the woman did not remove her hands. "God please stop....it hurts so much!" I managed in a strangled voice but she wasn't even looking at me. Her face was heavenward and I could hear her muttering in a language, I didn't understand over the blood pounding in my ears.

Then the pain was gone as quickly as it came and she released me letting me slip to the floor and for the first time since I was turned I felt my eyes sliding shut and I blacked out.

I gasped deeply as my eyes flew open to see the dark night sky; it looked different for the first time in years duller plainer. I sat up quickly but that was a bad idea as every muscle ached and my head span dangerously. I basically collapsed back on the cold paving stones of the alleyway and I began to close my eyes again feeling nauseous and cold. Wait a minute since when have I ever felt the cold or sick for that matter? Something is defiantly wrong.

As I started to shiver feeling no benefit from my thin clothes, I stand shakily and began to stagger up the alley not really sure where I was going. The churning in my stomach got worse until I couldn't hold it in any longer and I threw up on the street. There was nothing in my stomach but bile and the burning taste it left in my mouth nearly made me throw up again. Then a pain struck my chest which I gripped out of instinct and I nearly fell to the ground with what I felt against my hand. My heart beating fast and frantic!

What the hell has happened to me?

A/N – ok so I've been watching first series of 'Angel' again for some bizarre reason and I've just watched the episode called 'I will remember you' in which Angel becomes human after he kills a demon. So that got me thinking 'hmmm what would Edward do if he was suddenly human again?' So there it is my first chapter hopefully you like R&R plllllzzzzzz!!!! xxxxxxxx