Hello! So I'm planning on making this a songfic series based on Joshua Radin's songs. I just find him so awesome and the ship Faberry is now one of my favorites ever. This fic is based after Quinn's pregnancy and then it's AU from there. This chapter is mostly in Quinn's POV and about how Rachel helps Quinn heal and then some things develop. The ending went into another direction but I think you might like it. There's no smut yet, but THAT definitely ensues. (=
Disclaimer: I intend no copyright infringement on Glee or on Joshua Radin's songs.
Hope you like it! [It's pretty long]
Oh, lastly, the parts encased in line bars are flashbacks and there is a part told in Rachel's POV. You'll know when you get there. And I mixed up the lyrics a little bit. But just a little bit.
I like the way you're not afraid
You were always more verbal than I could ever be, always able to say what you need to be understood, having all the words in the world to express what you needed to say. I, on the other hand, can never find the right words to express anything. That's why I find more comfort in things that shows what I feel: photographs, drawings, the small, invisible traces of my fingertips upon your skin. People always believed me when I called you Man Hands, but I could never have been more wrong. Your skin is softer than butter.
"Quinn, as much as I thoroughly enjoy your soothing ministrations on the back of my hand, I need it to turn the steering wheel lest I drive us off the road and into those hideous bushes." Rachel her eyes glued to the road as she spoke in one breath. Her left hand was gripping the wheel so tight that her small knuckles were turning white. Her other hand was encased in mine between our seats.
/-/-/
Ever since my pregnancy, Rachel swore that as a co-Glee club member and as a friend, she would never abandon me much like everyone had in my most desperate time of need. After I gave Beth away and after I had lost the baby weight enough to fit back into my Cheerios uniform, I thought that it would be enough to regain my pedestal on top of McKinley High. I was so wrong. People didn't part like the Red Sea like they were meant to. Instead they pushed and shoved like angry waves against a weathering, crumbling rock. As I cried in the girls' bathroom after first period, I heard the door open though I swore I had locked it. I was sitting on the toilet seat, so I quickly brought my knees against my chest, hugging my legs so that the other girl in the bathroom wouldn't know I was there.
"Damn it. Damn them all to Hell!" I heard the girl shout as she slammed something against the sink. She turned the faucet on and continued to curse, muttering under her breath. After all the solos in Glee, and the endless tirades, I had her voice permanently imprinted in my mind.
"One day, one day they're all going to pay for the shit they put my through." Rachel's voice was quivering, and she stopped mid-sentence to sniffle, but I had never heard so much conviction (or so much as a single curse word emit from her mouth) and strength in a voice before. I heard the unzipping of a bag and I perceived her taking out some emergency clothes for every slushie attack. Somehow I felt sympathetic for her, and guilty that I was the instigator of the infamous slushie wars.
I was so wrapped up in her words that I unconsciously leaned forward, the plastic toilet seat cover squeaking under my shifting weight. The shuffling stopped and the water turned off. We were both doused into silence as I held my breath, willing her not to find out that I of all people was pathetic enough to cry in a bathroom. I waited.
"Who's there?" Rachel called out, tentatively. I pictured her holding a makeshift weapon out of her heavy slushie kit over her head. I rolled my eyes at her dramatic antics and let go of my legs. I sighed heavily as I reached over and unlatched the lock. The door swung open and indeed, Rachel was holding her bag above her head, but as soon as she recognized me, she cocked her head to the side.
"Quinn?"
"Who else could it be, RuPaul?" I immediately regretted the words as soon as they came out of my mouth but I couldn't help it. Even as I was now at the same level with her on the hierarchy of high school, I still instinctively lashed out at her, my enemy. I sighed and hung my head as I cried again, no longer ashamed. So much was taken from me because of my pregnancy that I just didn't care about things like I used to.
"A-are you okay? Wait, that was a stupid question. Please don't answer that, I-I'll close this door and quietly resume cleaning myself of corn syrup. Then I'll go out of this bathroom and pretend that this never happened and leave you to— do what you need to do. I'm really sorry, Quinn." She was about to turn around and close the door, but I didn't want to be alone.
"Wait," my voice barely came out as a breath as I peeked up over my eyelashes.
"Yes, Quinn?"
"Will you please—stay?" I didn't know how else to say that I needed someone right now. My hands were balled up on my lap, silently wishing I would just die.
"Of course," we made eye contact and almost instantly, I felt calmer as her warm, brown eyes met mine. "But if you don't mind, would you please excuse me for a minute, just so that I can change the fresh clothes I brought?" It was only then that my eyes glanced down to her exposed skin. I was shocked to discover that underneath the hideous argyle sweaters was—actually really eyebrow-raising. She was wearing a blue lace bra that hugged her chest very nicely. I mentally tripped as I realized how weird that sounded in my head.
She didn't wait for my response but turned around and pulled another sweater over her head. The skirt she was wearing wasn't stained so she didn't bother to change that. I sighed in relief, thinking that I might not be able to control myself if she changed her skirt as well. She didn't bother to close the door as she stretched her arms above her head, tugging her sweater down. Her back muscles flexed and I looked away, feeling awkward. Then she twirled around again, walking into my stall, into my space. She stopped right in front of me, our feet and knees touching. I couldn't bring myself to look at her as I spoke my next words.
"I'm sorry, Rachel. I'm sorry for everything. I didn't realize how much pain and humiliation I put you through until I experienced it all for myself. I don't expect you to pity me, or even pretend to care. For right now, I just need to be selfish for one last time and ask you to just be here, with me. I don't h-have anyone. My parents practically disowned me. Finn and Puck can't even look in the same direction as me. Glee was all I had and even my relationship with that is hanging by a thread. Oh God, I'm so pathetic." I finished with a choke and continued to sob. Rachel moved even closer to me and placed her hands hesitantly on the back of my head, signaling for me to press my face into her sweater. I happily obliged, clinging to the remarkably soft material of her sweater.
We stayed in that position long after the bell rang for second period. Her stroking my hair was enough to calm me down and unclasp my hands that were tightly wrapped around her waist. She stepped back a little to see my face and she deftly wiped the tear stains on my face.
She smiled down at me and I felt her warmth seep into my skin. "Quinn, I don't need to pretend to care because I do."
/-/-/
You've got the world planned in your mind
People say you cannot do it
But they don't know a friend like you
They can't understand why I choose to even be seen in public with you. People mock us, saying that birds of the same feather, fuck together. It isn't even like that with you. It doesn't have to be. You've shown me so much love that no one else has been able to provide for me. People think I'm just using you. That I'll drop you once I've regained my status. What they don't realize is that I find life a lot more comfortable here on solid ground with you than up where the air is thin, fragile. You've stuck through with me, helping me to pick up the pieces.
Rachel turned into her empty driveway. Apparently her fathers were still out of town on business. This was our routine, she would pick me up in the morning and we'd drive together to school. Then I'd stay at her house for a little bit, doing homework together or watching her favorite DVDs. I was personally more inclined to horror movies but the happy, childlike look on her face when we would watch musicals was too priceless to deny.
She put the gear into park. "Quinn? You okay, babe? You were awfully quiet on the way here." We'd fallen into this unspoken agreement to call each other terms of endearment, just because we were that close. She was my best friend but I couldn't ignore the flutter in my heart whenever she called me 'babe'.
I looked at her and smiled because, who couldn't? When her doe-like eyes that were filled with such concern peered into mine, I couldn't look away, couldn't help but smile. "I'm fine, sweetie. Maybe I'm a little tired from school." To further reassure her, I reached over the console and intertwined my fingers into hers. To both of our surprise, I raised our hands to my mouth and pressed my lips to her shaking fingers. I let my kiss linger, breathing in the scent of her hand lotion.
"Quinn," I heard her whispered, but I was too enthralled with the smooth skin that was pressed against my mouth.
"Mh?" I looked up at her, lowering our still connected hands.
"N-nothing, never mind. Let's go!" Hesitation flickered in her eyes before she smiled brightly and opened her car door.
Any times I've gone without
A home, a meal, a pair of shoes
If you had three you'd give me two
There ain't no other friend like you
I still can't get over the fact that you are just so forgiving. Though I was hesitant, afraid to begin a new commitment to someone, you always thought about me, and kept the friendship at the pace I desired. You understood that opening up to someone else would be hard for me after all the hearts and promises I had broken before. You gave me everything I needed to be me again. You gave me you.
I loved Rachel's dads even if they're commitment to each other went against everything that I was taught. But I didn't care; I was relearning about the world and loved everything in it. They didn't even hesitate when Rachel brought me home the first time, after my episode in the bathroom. She simply dragged me into their house, her small fingers wrapped around my wrist effectively cutting off the blood circulation to my hand. Her fathers were in the kitchen, preparing dinner when Rachel burst through the door.
/-/-/
"Dad, Daddy. This is Quinn. My friend. She needs help and I'm going to give it to her. I ask for your permission that today and over succeeding days that she be allowed to come into this home at absolutely any time for as long as need be. I understand that I have told you the—cruel stories of how her and the other Cheerios humiliated me and subjected me to social paranoia but," she looked at me with suddenly calm eyes, "she's different now. So, that will be all." With her last statement, she turned back to her stunned fathers and pulled me up the stairs and into her room stamped with a golden star on the door.
I took in her room while she stowed her school bag into a cubby hole next to her computer desk and excused herself to change in her bathroom. The room was naturally pink and posters of what I perceived to be her Broadway idols decorated her walls along with golden stars scattering the ceiling. She had a four post bed with stuffed toys stacked neatly against the head board. Her comforter was pink with lavender- colored woodland animals. I smirked at the parallelism between her bed sheets and sweaters.
Nonetheless, her bed looked so inviting and I realized how exhausted I was. I hadn't eaten the entire day and my crying was doing nothing to keep me awake. I found myself dropping my bag on the floor and crawling into the middle of the bed, sinking deeper into the comforter, and reveling in the sweet scent of the fabric softener and Rachel's perfume. Inhaling slowly, I closed my eyes and drifted off to peaceful sleep.
When I awoke, the sun had finally set and I shot up in bed, realizing that I had slept for too long. Rachel was at her computer with her hair tied in a messy ponytail. She wore a big, cotton shirt and pink shorts that rode up as she sat Indian-style on her computer chair. Her head shot towards my direction and I expected her to be angry with me for sleeping on her bed without even asking for permission. I was about to apologize before she smiled at me.
"Well, good evening to you! I really hope you slept well. I realize how tired you must be after, everything." Her voice faltered a little bit as she relived the moment in the girls' bathroom. "Stay here while I go and fetch your dinner plate that I kept warm in the microwave. I'll only be a minute."
I sat stunned on the bed and I realized that I was underneath the covers. My sweater was folded neatly on the bedside table and I was tucked into her comforter. I didn't even want to know why or how I got there but I didn't have time to process that before Rachel came back into the room with a tray of food and water.
She set the tray on the foot of the bed and sat beside it, beckoning me to eat. "I know you must be hungry. I didn't notice you eating anything during lunch today. My fathers and I are vegans, so I apologize for the lack of meat on this plate. If you will be frequenting here in the future, I'll be sure to coerce my parents to buy something that you might like such as—," I stopped her by placing my fingers on her lips.
"Rachel, this is more than okay. I really, really want to thank you for everything you've done." I said with a small smile before taking a reluctant bite into the squash casserole.
After I ate, Rachel put away the tray and stood awkwardly in the middle of her room, unsure of what should happen next. I sure as Hell didn't know what to do, but the food had given me energy and I felt like doing something for Rachel.
"Did you want to go over the math homework we have to do?" We both knew that I was proficient in math. It wasn't something that I liked to flaunt but at the moment, my skills were serving their rightful purpose. She gave me a smile in agreement and proceeded to pull out her math binder and a calculator. I did the same.
"Quinn, this is hopeless. What is the deal with asymptotes anyway? It's ridiculous to assume that the lines will never, ever be able to touch the, the horizontal line-thingy!" It was amusing to hear Rachel out of words in her vocabulary when it came to math. I had been trying to teach her graphing quadratic equations for the past hour and I became sad at the fact that I would have to be going home soon.
"Rach, it's the x-axis. And asymptotes are not ridiculous. That's just the way it is."
"But it's ridiculous how two things can never be together in the end." Her petulance was getting less and less annoying.
"Rachel, these are only math problems," I replied apologetically.
She sighed. "I suppose. But I hate how something is just so close, yet so far away." She glanced up from her notebook to look at me. I realized how close our bodies were. Her entire right side was against my left and her head turned towards me was just inches from mine.
I cleared my throat. "As much as I would like to graph the infinite rays for you, I really should be getting home." I frowned a little and glanced away from her. We fiddled with the ears of our math notebooks awkwardly.
"Shall I see you out?"
I looked at her. "Can I come over again soon?"
"If I had my way, you'd never leave."
/-/-/
I sat in the car for a few more seconds, trying to understand what possessed me to kiss Rachel's fingers. Granted, I always had my hands somewhere over her body. Through the course of our friendship, I had discovered that I had the need to always touch. There was just something about physical contact that grounded me, centered me to something on this earth. Despite the emptiness around me, something was ballasting me to the world. It made everything more real.
After gathering my bag, I stepped out of the car and trudged to Rachel's front door that she left wide open. I rolled my eyes at her lack of responsibility but remembered that she must have anticipated me to be right behind her like I always was whenever we entered her house. I didn't bother glancing around because I knew exactly where she would be, in her room.
"Rachel?"
I heard quiet sobbing from her unclosed door and I skipped up the stairs, slightly panicking.
"Baby, what's wrong?" I crossed the room and crawled up behind her on the bed where she was lying on her side, facing the window. I molded my body into her tiny frame so naturally but my chest constricted as I felt her push away from me.
"Please don't call me that." She whispered brokenly. I didn't want it to come to this. Was she finally ending our friendship? Had I fucked up enough to alienate the last person I had wanted to abandon me?
"Rach—,"
"No, you won't understand!" She practically shouted, tearing herself from my embrace, causing the both of us to sit up.
"What is going on with you?" My own anger flared up as I sensed Rachel getting more fired up. It was frustrating me watching her get frustrated as she fought to find the words to say.
"I can't tell you." She said simply.
"You can tell me anything."
"No. And that's sort of cliché, Quinn. That never works. Not even in the movies." Rachel moved up from the bed and started pacing. I sat patiently on the edge of the bed, following her movements while fiddling with my fingers.
"How long have we known each other?" She asked, still pacing her room, her legs moving rapidly.
"Rachel, we've known each other since kindergarten." I wondered where this would lead to but I didn't really want to be one to question her, the rapid-firing inquisitor.
"Yes, precisely."
"Where is this le—,"
"And how long have we been friends for the duration of knowing the other existed?"
"…a little more than four and a half months." I looked up at the ceiling as I silently counted the days since Day One.
"I'm going to ask you a final question. And I need you to be completely and brutally honest with me." I gulped as she walked closer to me, her towering face challenging me to lie.
"How long have you really known that I am in love with you?" Her voice was barely a whisper, causing me to lean up to hear her unusually hushed voice.
I swallowed. "Rachel,"
"Be honest," she closed her eyes, waiting for the inevitable.
"For a while now," I said with a defeated sigh. I bowed my head and reached out to hold her hands, but she pushed off and continued pacing.
"Well?" Her hands were akimbo and her face was straight at me, staring like a petulant child. I fought the urge to smile.
"Well, what?"
"I've said my piece. Don't you think I deserve a little something?" You deserve everything. I stood up and walked towards her, unsure of what to do. Our friendship was unusually close in proximity to be called 'just friends'. Our touches lingered for longer, and though it's partly my fault, I know it's a physical struggle for both of us to release hands, hugs, even eye contact.
"Rachel, y-you deserve more than I can give." I meant every word. Every fiber in my being wanted to just be with Rachel but I didn't trust myself enough to treat her the way she should be. My history is too cluttered with shattered hearts to allow another one to walk through.
"But I want what you have." She threw her tiny arms around my neck, forcing me to bend into her body. She breathed into my neck and I felt like my world imploded. "I want you."
I couldn't do this. There was just too much at risk to even consider having a relationship with Rachel. God knows how much I desired her more than a friend but I respected our friendship too much to let it be jeopardized by my selfishness. I'd only hurt her.
"I love you, Quinn." I released her enough to touch our foreheads together, our noses brushing slightly. Her voice, as broken and desperate as it was, had never sounded any sweeter than saying those words. I needed more.
"Say it again." I breathed against her lips. I wanted to feel her words sweep across my skin, embedding deeply enough to give me the strength to say it back.
"I love you, I love you, I love you. I'll say it as many times as you need for you to believe me." Tears began to flood her cheeks and I felt my own resolve crumble. I felt her hands move to cup my face, angling it towards hers. Our moist lips brushed together once before I jolted out of her grip—more out of the electricity I felt than the surprise.
Her eyes were wide and shiny as they searched mine, confused.
"I'm sorry." It was pathetic, but I didn't know what else to say. I scrambled for my bag and bolted out of the room, out of the house, only to remember that she had given me a ride. Cursing myself silently, I began walking knowing that I lived a good ten minutes away by car.
Why did she have to ruin it? I was perfectly content with being Rachel's friend—but was I really? The more we spent time together—the more I missed her when we parted, the happier I felt when we saw each other again, and the more I needed her skin touching mine.
The girl you love has gone away
Still too young to know her heart
She'll return her love renewed
Cause she'll never find a friend like you
I wasn't planning on pushing you that far, but you being so close to me is always enough to push me off the edge of the world. Why did you have to grasp for my hand in the car? Why did your lips have to feel so soft and warm against my fingers? Why did I decide to befriend you in the first place? I'd never dreamed that I would be able to even be on good terms with you, but you accepted my hospitality, accepted me. My plan wasn't to fall in love with you though I don't regret anything. It was to help you fall back into love with yourself.
If there was anything that I had learned about Quinn was that she was never a quitter. Her perseverance and cut-throat personality gained her the pedestal atop the social hierarchy at McKinley, and she would never take no for an answer. That's why I was so shocked (and hurt) when she left me, the warmth of her breath still fresh against my lips. I didn't expect her to say she loved me back so easily, but my hopes were high. I didn't want her to say it for me; I already knew. I just wanted her to realize how much beauty and light could still be in her life despite the harrowing darkness of her past. I wanted to help make her life bright again.
And so I didn't give up. Not soon after she left my house, I ran down the stairs, retrieved my car keys and skidded out of the driveway, knowing she wouldn't be far. I almost chuckled to myself because she had forgotten that she didn't bring her own car over.
She didn't make it far down the street but she was seriously putting some dents into the sidewalk with her angry stomping. I slowed down near the curb and rolled down the passenger seat window.
"Quinn, you do realize that you practically live on the other side of town, right?"
Her head remained straight in front of her and her bottom lip was pursed.
I sighed. "Quinn, please get in the car." I needed to get her riled up to make her stop ignoring me. "Baby? Please?"
"Don't. Call me that." She spun to face me with a feral glaze in her eyes. Her cheeks were flushed from brisk walking, but I've never seen her look more beautiful.
"Can I at least bring you home?" She started walking again.
"What do you think your mother is going to say about my ability to deliver you safely home when she repeatedly looks out the front window and finds that you're still not home even though it's late an—,"
"Okay, shut up!" She scoffed and climbed into my car, as I smiled triumphantly.
"And wipe that shit-eating grin off your face," she grumbled.
"Aww, you know you love me."
"No, I don't!" The intensity in her voice made me falter a bit.
"If you say so. But I know you feel it."
The rest of the ride was silent. I didn't even bother provoking her more with my humming. The sun was already resting on a billow of orange and pink clouds when I parked in front of her house. I switched the engine off but she made no move to get out.
"I'm not brave like you." She was staring into the sunset as I turned my head over to look at her. "I can't be myself as easily as you because I'm afraid. I'm always going to be afraid. I'll be afraid of my mother. I'll be afraid of the people at school. I'll be afraid of…myself—because I might not be able to be what you need."
I realized that she was talking about professing her love and her coming out. "Quinn, you don't need to be anything but yourself for me. Trust me enough to trust yourself."
"It isn't that simple." Then she opened the door and climbed out but not before I let her catch my words.
"It could be." I drove off, the sky in complete darkness.
When I had no one to call
All the world had shut me down
I showed up at your door so blue
Thank God I had a friend like you
It's my choice. You are my choice.
I paced around in my room much like how Rachel did in hers, wondering why I had fallen in love with Rachel Berry. What I wondered even more was why I couldn't admit that to her. She'd risked and done so much for me so I couldn't understand why I couldn't do so for her. That's when I realized that I had to. There was no use in prolonging the inevitable. If I cared for Rachel more than I could say, then I'd just have to show her just how much I did.
Vaguely, I heard a car door slam shut and I rushed to my window, silently praying that it would be Rachel coming to my rescue. But no, she didn't own a silver Lexus. My father did. They were home early from the town council meeting. Daddy only went to the meetings so that the name Fabray would be more pronounced in the town and so that he could influence a few innocent people to do his bidding. That, and the fact that it wasn't Rachel in the driveway infuriated me even more.
"Quinnie? Are you home?" My mother's shrilled voice called down from the living room.
"I'm in my room!" I opened the door enough to have the message be heard: that I wasn't in the mood for any 'proper family dynamics' as my father called it. I hated his pretentious bullshit.
"Quinn, would you please come down for a minute? Your mother and I would like to talk to you for a minute." His commanding voice wasn't something I could easily ignore and I felt my body move automatically. He still had control over me.
"Yes?" I said as I reached the foot of the stairs.
"Sweetie, your mother and I have been thinking a lot about how the economy at the moment is affecting our business ventures. Retailing doesn't come cheap nowadays," I hated where this was going. My father's business was retailing car parts for high-end vehicles. A lot of his clients weren't in Lima but he liked that he was on top in a small town. I remained quiet so he could continue.
"I called up some of my business partners, Mr. Ryons and Mr. Hocking, you know them, anyway, and they told me about how much better business is in Seattle."
My breath caught in my throat.
"Quinnie, I think what your father is trying to say is that we're moving to Seattle!" My mother clapped in excitement and my father put his arm around her, hugging her towards him. He smiled at me like he just won first place at a dog show.
It took a while for the words to register. Business. Seattle. Moving. "When?" My voice croaked in my throat.
"As soon as I sign off the deal with one of my clients! That'll be in two weeks. We've already announced it during the meeting today. The town of Lima is just as excited for us as we are!" Yes. Very excited.
"I'm still in my second semester at school. Do you expect me to just pick up and leave?"
"Well, you aren't captain of the Cheerios anymore and I doubt you even enjoy your Glee club what with all the middletons you have to deal with. This move should be easy for you." As soon as he mentioned Glee, my team mates' faces rushed through my mind until it landed on Rachel's. I felt my heart sink into my chest.
"May I be excused from dinner? I'm not feeling too well."
"Is everything alright, dear?" No, Mother, you just ruined my life…again.
"Yes. Good night." I didn't wait for their reply before I went up the stairs and into my room. I couldn't look at their faces any longer. My stomach churned and I realized that I had only two weeks to pick up my life and stow it away in a moving van. I couldn't care less about high school or anybody else, but Rachel. She was the only person I had any real connection with.
I crawled into my covers and let my tears soak my pillow, imagining Rachel's body molded into mine, her arms wrapped around me. Reassuring. Loving.
It could've been hours or mere minutes but when I woke up, I still felt the same ache in my chest. I listened for any movements from outside and realized that my parents were asleep. My bedside clock read 2:14 AM. Could I call Rachel? No, that wouldn't be enough. I needed to see her.
I changed into sweatpants and a tank top before pulling a Cheerios sweater on. This wouldn't be the first time I snuck out to go to Rachel's house. I had done it before, late at night.
/-/-/
I woke up from a nightmare: I was giving birth to Beth and right before she came out, the doctors and nurses around me changed into clones of my father. He pulled my baby out of me and I screamed for her, waking up. I remember being so scared to even be sneaking out but I couldn't go back to sleep alone. Jogging over to Rachel's house wasn't difficult because of my extensive Cheerio background. Climbing up to her window wasn't so bad either.
"Rachel," I whispered quietly, for fearing of waking up the neighbors' dogs. I lightly tapped the glass, seeing her body stir just a little. "Rachel…" my voice quivered as the cold began to seep into my clothes, into my skin.
She finally woke up and I saw her squint at me. I would've giggled if my body wasn't shivering so much. She threw her comforter aside and rushed to her window, the 'woosh' of the air causing several strands of hair to billow around her head.
"Quinn Fabray, what do you think you're doing, climbing up my window in the middle of the night?" I was afraid that she wouldn't accept me this late at night.
"Why didn't you just call me so I could pick you up? I bet you didn't even bring your car." She took my silence as a yes.
"I couldn't sleep," I whispered apologetically.
"Come in here," she held my arms as I climbed into her room, her warmth. As soon as I had my feet planted into the ground, she threw her arms around me.
"Oh my gosh, your cheek is so cold, Quinn." She giggled as she nuzzled into my face.
"Why don't you hug me tighter and maybe I'll warm up?" I breathed into her hair. She led me to the bed and climbed in after me, spooning me from behind.
"Do you want to tell me about your nightmare?" I smiled to myself, knowing that I didn't have to tell her what was wrong.
"In the morning. Less talk, more cuddle." I nestled deeper into her embrace and felt her kiss me behind my ear.
"Okay,"
"Rachel?"
"Hmm…" she was already half-asleep.
"Thanks for letting me…climb up your window."
"Mmh. Just don't do it ever again. Next time, call me."
/-/-/
I smiled to myself, remembering that she ordered me to call before coming over. I figured she'd reprimand me for thirty seconds and then go back to loving me again.
But this time, I had brought my car, unwilling to go jogging in the frigid cold again. I parked my car on the opposite street and crept up her lawn, into her backyard where I could climb up the gutter. I expected her to be curled up in bed but instead she was sitting up, her face covered in her hands.
She must have heard my heavy breathing because she shot up and faced the window. I smiled shyly at her before gesturing to open the window. When she did, I launched myself in her arms, making her fall back with me on top of her.
"I'm sorry!"
"Ouch. It's okay, Quinn. I only landed on my coccyx." She moved to stand up but I only curled into her body even more.
"I'm so sorry, so sorry…" I chanted into her neck as I felt tears prickling my eyes again.
"What are you sorry for, baby?" She immediately began stroking my hair, knowing that it calms me down.
"I-I'm sorry for the way I acted. I didn't mean those things I said. Rachel, you know I love you. I love you and I won't ever not love you. But, Rachel, baby, I need to tell you something," tears flooded my eyes again and she gently wiped them off my cheeks, kissing off each one.
She remained silent, silently urging me to continue.
"My parents want to move to Seattle because of my dad's business and they say we're leaving in two weeks."
I cried even more, knowing that I'd made our hearts complete then broken them in almost the same breath. I couldn't believe I just did that! I burrowed my head into her chest, feeling so guilty. She didn't say anything after that; she just held me. The window was still open and when it began to get cold, she stood up to close it. Then she cradled me in her arms again while leaning back against the wall under the windowsill.
"I love you," she whispered. I just held on tighter. "I think we can find a way through this."
"I don't want to go, Rachel,"
"I know, baby. I know." I felt wetness seep into my hair.
Our hearts were broken and this time, I didn't feel like picking up the pieces.
So did you like it? Let me know what you think (=