The panic of the moment engulfs me. As soon as I'm unable to hear her voice, I turn around. The others are nearby but aren't feeling the same panic as I do.
I run back, towards the place I last saw her. The thick, dense forest doesn't allow much room to see far ahead but when I've finally reached the clearing, I see her.
She's on her knees, holding up her hands, her mouth moving all the while. Her eyes are traced with panic and hysteria, but I can't hear anything.
I run forward. I want to hold her tight until the panic is gone, but when I'm nearly close enough to reach her, I crash. The reason I can't touch her, the reason I can't hold her, nor hear her, is an invisible wall separating her from me.
'Katniss!' I scream out.
With her right in front of me, yet unable to reach her, the panic inside of me starts raging even harder.
'Katniss, what's going on!' I yell at her.
Someone puts a hand on my shoulder but I shake it off.
'She can't hear you.' Joanna tries to calm me, but it's not working. With her so close yet unreachable, there's no way I could calm down, not until the moment has passed and she's back in my arms again.
I look up at her.
'What's going on?' I demand.
Joanna simply points at the sky.
I follow her line of sight and see the beautiful birds sitting in the canopy above, singing, torturing the girl I care so much about.
'Mockingjays,' I gasp. They must be recreating the voices of her loved ones, the ones she's fought so hard to protect.
Just past her I see Finnick rocking himself back and forth.
I look back at her but she's turned away from me, clasping her hands over her ears, trying to shut the awful sounds out.
I can't even imagine how it would be for me to be on the other side of this wall. To hear the voices of my parents being tortured, the voice of Katniss fading away…
I rest my head against the wall. It's cold. I can't hear anything from the other side. All I can feel is her presence, being hurt so much that it must be unbearable.
The voices of Prim and her mother being twisted, manipulated in such ways it sounds like they're hurting. That's the only thing I can imagine that would hurt her this much.
I know better than that, that those aren't their real voices. The Capital and the Gamemakers are cruel, and seeing us suffer is their greatest victory.
Everything they strive for is to make it entertaining for the elite. The ones that never had to suffer in their entire lives. Yet the ones that had to suffer from the minute they were born are made to suffer again for the rest of their lives.
The suffering itself is bearable after a certain time. You simply get used to it. But you never get used to the suffering of someone you love.
My chest feels tight and my stomach has turned itself into a knot. My head is still leaning against the wall as the rest of our alliance has showed up behind me and is talking to each other.
Suddenly my head rocks forward and I nearly fall onto my face.
I scramble to my feet and instantly lurch myself at her but right before I reach her I calm down as to not upset her again.
I kneel down and wrap my arms around her body, her chin leaning against my chest as I stroke her hair.
'It isn't real,' I tell her in the most soothing voice I can manage as my panic slowly seeps away now that she's safe again, even though it's just for the moment.
She lifts her head and I wipe her tears away as she puts up her façade again, the façade that made us win the first Games and the one that will make us win now.