A/N: Just my idea of how I would have liked the whole Lauren/Arizona thing to go. Sorry if there are any mistakes, I just had the idea running through my mind, so I wrote it down and thought I'd upload it for everyone to read. Hope you enjoy it. Reviews are welcome
They pulled away from the kiss and Arizona immediately turned and walked to the door of the on call room.
"Arizona. You are allowed to lose a little bit of control." Lauren watched as Arizona stilled at the door, her hand placed on the handle but not making an attempt to open it. She took a couple of tentative steps towards Arizona who now turned to face the approaching woman.
"Allowed?" Arizona furrowed her brow before continuing, "You think I'm walking away because I'm not 'allowed'?" The question was rhetorical and asked in a disgusted tone. "Just so we're clear, Lauren, I'm walking away because I don't want to do this. I'm walking away because I am married. I'm walking away because I have a child." Lauren felt small as she watched Arizona become angrier with every word she spat at her.
"I've noticed the way you've been looking at me..." She replied back as a means to tempt the woman into submission and continue their antics. Arizona scoffed at the comment.
"The way I've been looking at you?" She paused momentarily to regain some composure, "The way I look at you is nothing compared to the way I look at my WIFE!" She made sure to emphasise the word 'wife' as it left her lips.
"She doesn't have to know about th..." Lauren was quickly interrupted by an excessively angry Arizona.
"You're right, she doesn't have to know about this, because 'this' is not happening." Arizona was becoming more animated, waving her arm in frustration as she spoke.
Taking another step toward her, Lauren spoke again.
"When are you going to admit to yourself that you're unhappy? More importantly, when are you gonna admit that to Callie?"
At hearing her wife's name being said by this woman she barely knew infuriated her more.
"I AM MARRIED!" Arizona called out. "Callie and I, sure we're not as happy as we were before everything turned to shit, but we will be. We can get through this... and we will. Because WE ARE MARRIED!" Arizona felt herself losing control and lowered her tone, still keeping it stern to make her point - a skill she could thank her father, the colonel, for. "That's what marriage is. We love and support each other, for better and for worse. I don't expect you to understand that, but I do expect you to respect it." Lowering her tone further she continued, "Callie is the woman that I love. She is the one who has been there for me. We have stuck together through everything. The car crash, the plane crash and everything in between." Arizona felt her emotions making their appearance through the tears welling up in her eyes. "I have been a shitty wife to her for months. I made her promise me the impossible, not to cut my leg off when it was clearly too late. Then I blamed her when I woke up and saw it had been cut off; completely overlooking the fact that she saved my life." As Arizona carried on, she was aware that she was talking more to herself than to the woman of temptation standing in front of her. Since the crash, she's never took the time to think about her and Callie, to think about what Callie lost or how she felt; she was being selfish.
"She lost her best friend, the father of our child and I was still shitty to her. Yet she came home everyday. To me. She gave me the space I needed (demanded, rather), but she was there nevertheless. She picked me up off the bathroom floor when I had given up, when I was screaming in her face. She never left. No matter how shitty I was to her, she stayed. Because that's what marriage is. And I will be damned if I ruin that for anyone or anything." Arizona looked to meet Lauren's eyes. "Especially someone who means nothing to me."
Lauren recoiled from the woman and moved further back into the on call room. "If you were so in love with your wife, you wouldn't be in here... with me. The first sign of someone giving you the attention you crave, and you follow them like a lost puppy. Wanting to feel what it felt like before. Wanting to be wanted. You make out how you're so in love with this woman, but where is she huh?" She raised her arms and gestured around the room. "I'm here with you, trying to give you what you want. Not her."
Watching Arizona's face intently, she again walked toward her, closer this time, and placed her hands on the woman's hips. As soon as her hands were there they were gone again. Pushed away with forced by Arizona who at this point had tears streaming down her face as she was taking in what this woman was saying. 'I pushed her away, she's been trying since day one to give me what I need; what I want' She answered Lauren's question silently, not wanting to explain her marriage to a stranger.
"Like I said, I'm a shitty wife." Arizona said softly as she opened the door before being stopped in her tracks at the sight of her wife standing on the other side of the door, mirroring her own face with tears rolling down her cheeks. "Calliope..." Arizona's voice trailed off trying to find the right words to say.
Lauren moved behind Arizona attempting to escape the room, more importantly the situation she now found herself in. "Excuse me." She spoke in a barely audible whisper, being ignored by both silent women who stood staring at one another; she spoke again, "I should leave." Her voice was clearer causing Callie to look over at her.
"Yeah. Yeah you should." Callie replied, watching the woman slip past her wife and hurriedly move down the corridor until she was out of sight. She moved her gaze back to Arizona who still hadn't moved. She pushed her gently back into the on call room and locked the door behind the two of them. "I think it's time we talk." She stated, as she took a seat on one of the lower bunks in the room, patting the space next to her as a gesture for Arizona to sit beside her.
Sitting down, Arizona faced her wife and started. "Callie... I... We... We didn't do anythi..." before she could finish her barely coherent sentence, Callie interrupted her.
Placing a hand on her wife's right thigh.
Callie began. "I know. I know... I was stood there for quite a while." A small smile crossed her face trying to convey reassurance. "Arizona... It has been hard. You were right. But you are not a shitty wife." Cupping her wife's face in her hands, bringing blue eyes to meet brown, she continued, "do you hear me? I know how hard it has been, and I am always gonna be here for you. No matter what. I promise." And with that, she placed a quick soft, yet meaningful kiss on the pink lips she was all too familiar with.
Hearing the words she had just spoken be confirmed by her wife, Arizona began to sob, pulling Callie closer to her own body, needing to hold her and be held by the strong arms that made her feel like the safest person on earth. After a couple of minutes of crying in each other's arms, Arizona pulled away to face the beautiful Latina she's lucky enough to call her wife.
"I meant it, what I said..." She looked at the confusion on Callie's face, aware she was not entirely clear on what Arizona was referring to. "I don't blame you Calliope. I made you promise, and it was unfair. I knew how close I was to having my leg amputated, and I still made you promise... You saved my life." Feeling her tears well up again, she attempted to compose herself. "I know I said I blamed you, that this was all you fault. But it's not. I... I just, I was so angry, and I didn't have anyone to be angry at. So I was angry with you and I am so, so sorry, Callie…" Before she could carry on, Callie pulled her close, allowing her to rest her head on her chest.
"Honey... I get it. Everybody needs someone to take their anger out on. I was that someone for you. And, as much as it was hard for me to see you the way you were, I knew it was harder for you. You were on that plane, you were in the woods, you lost your leg..." Callie's voice began to crack with the emotion, "I tried, you know. I tried so hard to save it. I did everything I could. And then Alex came in and said you were dying. And I knew. I knew it was the leg and all I kept thinking about was the promise I had made you... But I couldn't lose you. I couldn't let Sofia lose you. I didn't give up on you. Not once. I just, I needed you to live." Her words became almost impossible to understand through the sobs, but Arizona heard everything, and cried uncontrollably into her wife's chest, holding onto her.
"I know you did, Callie. When I was at the hospital in Boise, I heard them talking to Owen. They said that the leg should be cut off, but I… I couldn't… I just needed to get home. I begged Owen to bring me home. To you. I said that you would know what to do. And you did… You made a plan, you were there for me. It just…" Arizona trailed off, gripping her left thigh and staring, first at it, then back at Callie. "I don't blame you, and I am so, so sorry for ever saying that I did. Because of you, Sofia still has two parents… Thank you Calliope." With that, the two held each other tightly in silence, ignoring the constant beeps coming from their pagers, needing to just be with each other. Just for a little while.
After about 10 minutes of holding each other, Arizona looked up, allowing Callie to look into her deep blue eyes, filled with love, emotion and passion, that she had fallen in love with in a dirty bar bathroom all those years ago. Nothing had seemed so clear as this moment right now, sitting with her wife, the woman she loved. This was it. She was back. She no longer saw the cold blue eyes that stared right on through her a couple months ago, she saw her wife, the mother to her daughter, her best friend. She was back.
"I love you." She whispered down into the loving eyes looking up to her, stroking a stray piece of hair behind her ear to fully appreciate the woman she felt everything for.
"I love you too, Calliope." She whispered back, smiling as she saw her wife's face shift to a softer look, a look of pure contempt.
"Just so we're clear," Callie spoke, a small smile gracing her face, "You're not 'allowed' to sleep with anyone but me." Her tone was soft but she had every ounce of seriousness in it possible.
Arizona let out a small chuckle, more out of relief than anything. "It's a good thing that I don't want to then, huh?" She replied, pulling Callie in for a long, passionate kiss. A kiss that could only mean love, trust, honesty; a kiss that was shared in a marriage.