I think people eventually began to move on, to stop crying when they heard Tris's name, stop believing that one day she might come back. But I still believe, ten years later I still believe that one day, she will come out of the dirt. She will wake up and ask me what had just happened, and I would tell her abut the pains her death had brought. I can't bring myself to speak her name. I can't bring myself to think about her voice, to see her brother. Everything that had anything to do with her, seeing it was another needle stuck deep into the wound that is already bleeding in my heart.
When all hope is lost, I used to believe that it would get better. For twenty years in my life, they did. But that hole in my life, the blurry picture of what used to be Tris, my Tris, alive, well, happy, healthy. That hole will never be mended. Sometimes I'm mad at Caleb. Why didn't you stop her? Tell her that her life is more important. Tell her that there are people out there that would rather die than let her go. I volunteered to trade my life for hers. I pray to god everyday, in hopes that he just might bring this beautiful girl back to me. Bring her back just so I can see her once more, feel her heart beating against my chest, feel her lips, soft and warm, just one last time.
I used to think that all lives were fairytales. That they will all end in and they lived in a happily ever after. That after I escaped my father, I could live a happy life. But I was wrong. Under this layer of humanity, is actually a broken heart that lost all that it had, and then more. On my back, there are scars that will never heal. And life has just added another scar. A pain that will never mend. Life killed Tris. Even though it isn't my fault. Even though I know I shouldn't be acting like this, I feel a strong burning hate boiling inside me. Goodbye good world. I run from one end to the next, in hopes of finding a better finish to my once upon a time, but I never find what was never meant to be, and my heart never will stop looking.
I really don't know what I was writing. I think I just put emotions I sometimes feel into a story like this. I will be making more, similar. A special thanks to Homnoxide for her helpful ideas. Ya Noks I gave you credit. Thank you for reading, and as always,
#OmegaRocks