A/N: Okay, I've officially lost my sanity. Like I ever had any to begin with. I saw the ALW movie the other night, and after having songs, scenes and character parallels stampeding through my head, I've got to write it down. So I give you a crossover of sorts. Wolf's Rain meets PTOA. Please don't kill me. I have a wife and kids and a house and a… um… toilet…
(Artemis Entreri: No you don't! Well, the house and toilet, yes, but…
Tranquil: Sssssh! Shut up!)
All characters aside from Tranquil (me) are © their respective owners. And there's really very little self-insertion here. I'm just the director... stage manager... whatever, you get the picture. I'm not here.
Prologue of Sorts: The Casting
Tranquil: OK, cast! Sound off! Kiba!
Kiba: Here.
Tranquil: You'll be playing Raoul.
Kiba: …All right. I suppose.
Tranquil: Cheza!
Cheza (raises hand): This one is here, Tranquil-sama.
Tranquil: You're Christine.
Kiba: All RIGHT!
Tranquil: Toboe!
Toboe (popping up from behind the futon): Yeah?
Tranquil: You're Firmin.
Toboe: Okay!
Tranquil: Tsume!
Tsume: What do you want NOW?
Tranquil: You'll be playing Andre.
Tsume: WHAT! You mean I have to work with HIM? (jabs finger at Toboe)
Toboe: That's not a very nice thing to say!
Tranquil: Cut it out, you two! Okay, ummm… Blue!
Blue: Yeah?
Tranquil: You'll be playing Meg.
Blue: But then who's playing Madame Giry?
Tranquil: Who do you think?
Blue: What?! Oh, God, no…
Quent Yaiden walks in.
Quent: WOLVES!!!
Blue drops her head into her hands.
Blue: Jeez, Pops…
Tranquil: Grin
Hige: What about me?
Tranquil: (scratches head) Um… You can be Piangi.
Tsume (laughs): He certainly fits the part.
Hige: WHAT THE HELL IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?!
Tsume: Oh, nothing…
Tranquil: Now, where were we… Oh, yeah. Jagura!
Jagura: stalks in
Tranquil: You're Carlotta.
Hige: WHAAAT? grabs the front of Tranquil's coat Oh, God, no! No, Tranquil, don't do this to me!
Jagura just grins. Evilly.
Tranquil (rubs hands together): Okay, that's settled. And now for my favorite… Gaku-chan!
Everybody except for Tranquil: Gaku-chan? Who the hell's Gaku-chan?
Darcia, in full regalia –including mask, headpiece, and robes- sweeps into the room and comes to stand behind Tranquil.
Everyone except for Tranquil and Darcia: Oh, dear Kami, Tranquil, you're not going to do what I think you're going to do…
Tranquil burst into bouts of evil laughter.
Tranquil: That's right. My dear beloved Darcia is going to be playing Erik himself.
Blue: Well, he certainly fits the bill… points at Darcia's mask But he hasn't got any ugly scars.
Tranquil: (points at Darcia's left eye) That'll do.
Cher Degre and Hubb Lebowski: HEY! What about us?
Hubb: We want to be in it too!
Tranquil: Okay, then… Hubb, you can be the stagehand that gets throttled when falling off the wings.
Hubb: Geh?!
Tranquil: Cher, you… um. I don't know. You can be M. Reyer. (Claps hands) All right, places! Places, everyone!
Let's get this show on the road!