"Momma!" A small joyous yell came from the other side of the room and Kathryn Janeway was quick to respond to her now one year old daughter who was beginning to take the first of her steps toward her loving Mother. The two of them hadn't seen Q for weeks and the other Q that they had decided to nickname Dave they hadn't seen him since he put Kathryn into a coma. "Momma!" The call came again but was louder now as it was closer and Kathryn snapped out of her train of thought to go and swoop her daughter off of her feet and into her arms.
"How's my big girl?" She smiled warmly down at the auburn haired child in her arms and kissed her on the forehead, "Mommy has to go to the bridge for a while now, but Aunty Sam will look after you okay?" She spoke to her daughter like all Mothers would have done their small child, "Mommy won't be gone for long." Kathryn looked at the nearest chronometre and gulped that the time had gone so fast, so she grabbed Alyssa's bag and ordered for a transporter to take them just outside of Ensign Wildman's quarters.
Samantha Wildman who Alyssa had started to call Aunty Sam answered the door almost immediately and her own daughter Naomi was stood next to her smiling, "Thank you Sam, I really appreciate you doing this whilst I'm on duty. If only Q had the nerve to show up. What I want to know is what he thinks he is doing leaving me alone with our small child." She ranted as she handed Alyssa over to Sam who smiled and nodded in agreement, "I'm sorry Sam I don't mean to talk like this and let my anger out in front of you like that."
"Its okay Kathryn." She smiled and nodded. The two women had become good friends while Alyssa was growing up as they both had young girls to bring up on a Star Ship, "Now go before your late for duty!" She giggled.
...
As she arrived on the bridge she was met by a worried glance from her first officer, as she was late and the tiredness showed on her face. She had known that Q had to go away for a while but he never said weeks!
"Commander?" She asked when he didn't take his glance off of her face, "Is there something wrong?"
"No I.. Can I speak with you in private Captain?" He replied somehow nervous of his words. Kathryn nodded and indicated to her ready room silently.
Once the doors had closed behind them she crossed her arms over her chest and looked Chakotay in the eye, "What is it Chakotay? And don't say you think that I'm not fine because I am. I'm just a little tired that's all." She said rubbing her forehead with one hand and turning to go and sit on the sofa, but a hand on her shoulder stopped her.
"Damnit Kathryn, the crew can tell that you aren't well and Q not being here to look after Alyssa with you isn't helping. You need to go and see the Doctor. You've lost weight too. When was the last time you had a proper meal, hmm?"
"Chakotay I can't be doing with this." She sighed and shrugged his hand off of her shoulder and turned her back to him so that he couldn't see the tears that fell over her eyelids, "And I can't remember the last time I did." She said hiding the tears from her voice, but she knew somehow that Chakotay would know that she was crying.
"Oh Kathryn." He let out a soft sigh and pulled her too him and into a hug, "Everything will be fine I promise you that." He smiled softly and kissed her hair lightly. She stepped back now and wiped the tears from under her eyes, squeezing Chakotay's hand gently before letting it go.
"Thank you." She smiled, "Shall we have lunch in the mess hall later?" She said softly as she walked around to the other side of her desk and sat in her chair pulling out a PADD, "Meanwhile I have reports to go over, let's say 1200 hours in the mess hall?"
"Its a date." He chuckled and turned to leave, "But if your not there I will come and fetch you."He said as he walked out onto the bridge.
...
1200 hours rolled past in the mess hall and as Chakotay arrived there he noticed that Kathryn hadn't arrived yet, but he knew that she would have to go and see Alyssa so he put it down to that making her late.
But when 1230 hours went by with still no sign of Kathryn he got slightly worried but slightly more annoyed that she hadn't bothered with her own invitation to lunch. So he went without his own lunch and went to Sam Wildman's quarters too see if she was still there.
She answered the chime and when the doors slid open she was stood there a worried look on her face holding Alyssa, who had tear stains down her cheeks, in one arm, "Commander have you seen the Captain?" She asked as she stroked the childs hair to try and sooth her, "She didn't come and see her over lunch so I guessed that she was busy but she never usually goes without seeing Alyssa over lunch."
"That was just what I was going to ask you Sam, she didn't come to meet me for lunch so I guessed that she stayed here with you, Naomi and Alyssa for lunch instead but she had asked me to meet her in the mess hall at 1200 hours." He replied calmly as he ran a hand through his hair.
"Alyssa is missing her Mother." Sam said worriedly, "She has only just stopped crying."
"Let me take Alyssa with me to the bridge and see if Kathryn is still in her ready room, which I'm guessing she will be. I'm sure she won't mind me taking her own daughter to see her." He smiled at Sam as she nodded and handed the child over too him, "I'll contact you once I've found her." He said smiling again before turning and heading toward the nearest turbolift.
"Deck 1." He said in a flat tone of voice to the computer, as he was too preoccupied with where the hell Kathryn could have gotten too to really think about anything else. He soon stepped out of the lift and onto the bridge, little Alyssa had her arms wrapped tightly around his neck and she was sobbing again, "Tuvok has the Captain come out of her ready room since we went in there this morning?" He said rubbing the girls back softly soothing her.
"I am afraid that she has not come out of her ready room, is there any particular reason for your worry Commander?" Tuvok looked at the child and then at Chakotay, keeping his Vulcan calm as always.
"She was meant to go and see Ensign Wildman who has been looking after her daughter whilst she has been on duty and she was also meant to meet me for lunch in the mess hall. But she never came to either." He said as he walked up to the door and pressed the chime. But to his surprise there was no answer. So he rang the chime again. Still no answer. He decided now to enter his override and just go in. But when he got in there, there was no sign of Kathryn anywhere, but there had been an obvious struggle as there was coffee spilt all over her desk and there were scraps of her uniform scattered over the floor and a patch of blood on her desk that was beginning to mingle with the spilt coffee. He turned and rushed out making sure that Alyssa hadn't seen anything in the room, "Tuvok you should go and take a look in there. She's missing."
...
Alyssa was soon back at Sam Wildman's and the 'crime scene' had been gone over inch by inch with tricorder's and it had been confirmed that the blood on the desk was indeed Kathryn's blood, so it wasn't turning out to be a good day for anyone.
"Ensign Kim have you come up with anything yet?" Chakotay looked over to him from his seat around the meeting table, Kathryn's chair untouched by all the crew members who were in the room.
"I can't detect that she has been transported off the ship and the sensors aren't coming up with anything either." He pushed a PADD across the table towards Chakotay, "I have made a full report, but there isn't really anything to elaborate on other than what I've just told you."
Tom Paris lent forward now and turned to look at Chakotay, "Could Q or Dave have anything to do with this?" Just as he finished speaking a white flash appeared in the corner of the room.
"Have I missed anything Kath..." Q stopped talking as he noticed that Kathryn wasn't in her chair, her then looked at each of the senior staff in turn, "May I ask where Kathryn is?" He said letting his gaze land on Chakotay.
"She's been abducted, but by whom we do not know, not yet anyway. And when we discovered that she was gone her ready room showed signs that she had, had a struggle with someone or something as there were shreds of her uniform all over the floor, spilt coffee on her desk and blood stains on her desk too." Chakotay stated not looking up at Q but keeping his gaze on the table top.
"I've only been gone a day-" He was abruptly cut off by B'Elanna who had also developed a friendship with Kathryn.
"You've been gone four weeks Q." She looked him in the eye trying to keep her Klingon temper under control.
"Four weeks?!" Q exclaimed, "Why didn't anyone tell me. Is the girl okay?" He said to B'Elanna.
"The girl!" She exploded, "That girl is your daughter and her name is Alyssa! And she is fine other than desperately missing her Mother." She said managing to calm herself somewhat.
...
Kathryn woke up in a dark and damp smelling room, she tried to move but the pain from her head injury was immense and she was bound to what seemed to be a metal table. Her mouth had been gagged too, to stop her from calling out most likely, but that was impossible as she had no idea of anything and she felt like she couldn't even remember her own name.
"Kathryn Janeway, I knew I'd get you eventually." Came a soft yet menacing voice from somewhere behind her, "What are you going to do now there's no way to call for help and there is certainly no way for you to get up off of this table." The male voice chuckled as its owner came into view in front of her and bits of her experience started to come back to her as he ran a finger over her bare torso, and let it glide down over her flat stomach and rest up just under her breasts which were barely covered. In fact all that was left on her was her uniform top which had been messily cut off up to her shoulders on either arm and her comm badge had been pulled off too. Her turtle neck had also been cut down to reveal more of her collar bone and cleavage and her boots had been pulled off and her trouser had been cut off so they only just managed to become 'short shorts', "I know that you remember me so you know what I'll do to you if you don't co-operate with me." The next thing she knew, the gag was being pulled from her mouth and bright lights were switched on, making her try to shield her eyes from it.
Once her eyes had adjusted to the light she looked around at the four off white walls that surrounded her, noticing that there was no sign of a door anywhere. An intense pain soon started throbbing in her head from where she had hit it on her desk in the struggle between her and Dave. A warm trickle ran down the side of her forehead and into her messy hair, she felt it matting as the blood dried and more began to join it, "What.. Are you. Going to do... With me?" She called out weakly as she had guessed that Dave was behind her. There was no answer to her plea other than the dark laughter of the sinister figure behind her.
...
The senior staff were sat around the meeting table again and this time Q had joined them sensibly even though he sat arrogantly in Kathryn's chair with his feet swung over the table.
"Q, would you please get your feet off of the meeting table and if you have nothing worth contributing then I suggest you leave." Chakotay had finally began to snap the stress getting to him that when Kathryn first had Alyssa, he wouldn't leave the ship. But now he didn't even seem to give a damn at all, it definitely seemed that way.
"Fine I'll leave. But you know you won't find her if he's taken her to the continuum and I won't come to help any more." He chuckled and then vanished in a flash of white light.
Chakotay rested his elbows on the table and buried his face into his hands as all the senior staff left after another near silent meeting. All but one. B'Elanna had hung back and walked over to her old friend, placing a reassuring hand on his shoulder and sat down next to him. As he looked up B'Elanna noticed now that he had been crying silently, "We will find her. You know that Chakotay, no matter what that arrogant pig says. For all we know it could be him doing all this and leading us along. Whatever has happened too her we will figure it out and we will get her back." She smiled at him and got a small smile back as she wiped some of his tears away, "We are all missing her deeply but we know how you feel, and we can also see that Q doesn't give a damn about her any more and we all know that she deserves better. So come on lets go and go look again? Hmm?"
...
Kathryn's prison was darkened again after what seemed to her like a lifetime of abuse and violence, not to mention being sexually abused in the process too. The white flash of light brought her back into consciousness.
"Did you enjoy yourself Kathy?" The strangely familiar voice of the Q she'd come to know and actually love was now talking too her and she shook her head as much as she could through the pain, but she somehow knew what was coming next as she felt a balled up fist hit her face, "Well, you had better start enjoying it because there is plenty more where that came from, and if you are wondering why you're hearing my voice lets just say, that its been me from the beginning." He laughed and smeared the blood that started to drain from her lip over her already bruised, bloodied and scratched features. A single tear dripped from her right eye making her wince as the salty drop mixed in with the untreated injuries.
"Why are you doing this Q?" She asked the effort of the short sentence knocking her out of breath for the first time in her life, another fist then reigned down on her ribs making them crack with a sickening crunch and making her cough up some blood.
"I tell you when you can speak." He laughed as he watched her in obvious agony, "But it is a good question. The continuum has told me to stop having any contact with you and this seems the only way to do that. But I also couldn't resist having a bit of fun with it." He smiled at her and lightly traced a finger over her bare stomach and torso area which was enough to make her wince at the agony at the deep bruises and she had gathered by now that she had also sustained a broken back and that he was now trying to make her move to agonise that injury even more. He laughed again as he punched her hard in the stomach and watched her body convulse before she blacked out.
...
Q had gone back to visit Voyager soon after he had finished with Kathryn, thinking she was dead. But he had forgotten to clean himself up and was still splattered with her blood and when Chakotay noticed this her had dragged him to sickbay to get the blood analysed.
Q had vanished though when the Doctor came back with the results, "I'm afraid its not good Commander. It is the Captains blood, and its fresh too." The Doctor tried to keep a straight face but couldn't help but let his holographic face drop into a sad expression.
"Damn it!" He said letting tears of anger slip from his eyes, "I knew it was him all along. Why did I let him near her like that. What if he's killed her Doctor?" He said as he calmed and looked the hologram in the eye.
"I cannot tell you that Commander but I think someone has some explaining to do for himself." He said motioning to Chakotay that Q was sat on a biobed just staring into space.
Chakotay immediately spun around and marched over to where Q sat and grabbed him by his phoney Starfleet uniform, "What have you done with Kathryn?" He demanded managing to mostly keep his tone calm and his temper under control, "You've killed her haven't you? And if you have I swear I'll kill you." He calmed himself down again and let Q's shirt go, "But then again your not worth the disgrace."
"The Continuum told me to stop having contact with her and I thought that this would be the only way." He gave himself a please smile when Chakotay's back was turned, he laughed out loud then and vanished once more in the white light he usually used.
Chakotay growled quietly to himself before turning to leave sickbay as soon as he entered the turbo lift to the Bridge his comm badge chirrped, "Kim to the Commander." Came the young voice of an ensign that Kathryn had become dear friends with and she had taken him under her wing on the journey.
"Go ahead Harry. What is it?" He replied after tapping his comm badge and waiting for the doors to open.
"I think you'd better come to the Bridge and find out for yourself, we don't want to do anything yet without you being here and I have alerted the Doctor to the fact that he needs to come too. Kim out." Just as Harry finished his short report the turbo lift doors opened onto a horror scene for Chakotay because as he stepped out he saw Kathryn's inert body on the floor in front of her command chair and Q crouched down near her flashing a knife covered with her blood on to anyone who came near. Tuvok had a phaser trained on him and a security team had phasers on him too even though they knew they wouldn't do any good, but it was worth having them there anyway. Just in case.
"Q! What are you doing?" Chakotay demanded as soon as he locked eyes with him.
Q pulled Kathryn's battered body too him so that her back was leant against him and he could wrap his arms around her, "I can't do it I have to kill her but I can't do it." He said shaking his head, "The Continuum want me to get rid of her but I just can't do it. I mean I love her. I can't do this I can't. I know I can't." It was clear now to Chakotay that Q hadn't corrupted himself he had somehow let himself be coerced by the Continuum into this awful game.
"You don't have to kill her Q. Just give her back too us and you can leave. No harm done. We can heal her. Make her better." Harry said to him softly trying to get a bit closer but he just got the knife flashed at him.
"Q you need to leave her here we will make sure that she is fine and the Continuum won't know about it. Please, you both have a baby daughter on this ship. Its obvious now that she won't be able to see her Father but let her have a Mother Q. Please?" Chakotay joined in the gentle talk to Q as he realised it might just work. Q stood up now not being very careful and not giving a damn as he dropped Kathryn's body to the floor doing more damage to her already severe injuries. He nodded and turned away from her and looked out at the stars on the view screen. "Q Alyssa needs her Mother." Chakotay said to him being careful to keep his voice calm, "I'm going to come and see if she's okay now." He said ducking under one of the railings and approaching slowly. Q nodded and decided to leave, knowing that he had caused enough damage as it was. Just then the Doctor arrived on the bridge and rushed straight over to where Chakotay knelt next to Kathryn's battered body trying to find a pulse, "She's got a weak pulse Doctor but its getting slower and she's still losing blood."
The Doctor nodded and scanned her over quickly with a medical tricorder, "Emergency transport to sickbay now!" The Doctor ordered and the three of them were swept away by the transporter beam which put Kathryn straight onto the surgical bed, "Commander I would recommend you going and getting some rest and go and see Alyssa too. She will be missing her Mother dearly. She's been with Miss Wildman for 3 months now! We'd almost given up hope." He said before turning and starting to work on Kathryn.
...
"Chakotay, am I glad to see you." Sam Wildman smiled gently but she wasn't coping well with two young children, especially one who wanted her Mother, "What's going on? Is she okay? Harry came to see Alyssa and explained what happened on the bridge."
"The Doctor has taken her straight into surgery but he is still unsure on whether she will make it through it. The next few hours are crucial so he has sickbay off limits except for absolute emergencies." Chakotay said his worry and anguish clear in his voice, "Do you want me to take Alyssa off of your hands? She does seem to enjoy my company and has started to call me Cha." He smiled gently and managed a small laugh as Sam handed him Alyssa who was seemingly glad to see him.
...
Chakotay got back to his quarters after stopping off at the mess hall to get Alyssa something to eat and he got back to a report from the Doctor. A list of injuries Kathryn had sustained. The list read:
- A broken back
- 4 shattered vertebrae
- Broken Pelvis
- Both arms broken in two places
- 4 fingers broken
- Broken nose
- Right leg shattered in unclean breaks in 4 places
- 6 cracked ribs, 4 of those broken in several places
- Cracked skull in 2 places
- Deep split lip and 3 chipped teeth
- A clean break on her shoulder bone
- Deep bruises all over her body, deeper bruises on her stomach
- Tearing in the vagina and rectum
- Deep gashes on her: thighs, arms, face, torso, and chest.
The list made Chakotay feel sick. And he couldn't bring himself to even imagine what kind of pain she must have been in. And he was sure that there would be some lasting damage from all of the injuries. And he didn't even want to think what Q must have been doing too her to cause that amount of injuries.
"EMH to Commander Chakotay." The Doctors voice came over the comm system loud in his quarters making him jump out of his train of thought.
"Go ahead, Doc. What is it?" Chakotay replied tapping his comm badge and quickly scanning the room to make sure Alyssa hadn't gotten in to any mischief.
"You should come down to sickbay. I have news. And bring Alyssa too. EMH out." The Doctor stated cutting the comm link before Chakotay had a chance to reply.
"Alyssa, I'm going to see your Mommy, do you want to come?" He said to the little girl as he knelt down beside her as she played with the blonde haired doll in her hands.
"We go see Momma, Cha?" She beamed at him and he saw the instant resemblance she had to her Mother.
"Yes we are." He smiled and pulled her up into his arms where she wrapped herself around him tightly and he turned and made his way to sickbay.
...
Once the two of them arrived in sickbay the EMH immediately motioned for Chakotay to come into his office, "She has come through surgery and I have healed most of her injuries, there will be no major scarring. But it will be the emotional side of things that will be tougher for her to get through though she gave me a few scares when her heart stopped twice. She will need the help of a close friend Commander and I know you will be able to offer it too her. And before I wake her, you should know that she won't be able to walk for at least a month maybe longer I cannot tell just yet." He grew quiet now as he pressed the hypospray to Kathryn's neck and went back into his office so that the first people she would see would be Chakotay and her daughter Alyssa. Alyssa grabbed hold of her Mothers hand gently, as she had been told that her Mommy wasn't very well and she needed looking after. Chakotay then placed a gentle hand on her arm making sure not to press too hard because of causing Kathryn pain. The two hands on one arm, one small, one large, made Kathryn look up at the two of them.
"Momma!" Alyssa was overjoyed to see her Mothers eyes open and have her back even though she still wasn't very well, "I missed you Mommy." She beamed down at her and got a tired but warm smile back.
"Mommy's missed you too honey." She said tiredly her hand coming up to stroke Alyssa's cheek gently, "Its good to see you too Chakotay." She said keeping smile for as long as she could. But it soon faded and was replaced by tears as the memories of what had happened started to come back.
"Go and see what the Doc's doing okay? You can come and see your Mommy in a minute okay?" Chakotay whispered in the little girls ear and placed her on the floor watching carefully as she toddled off into the Doctor's office. This upset Kathryn even more.
"How long have I been gone?" She asked as a relentless flow of tears cascaded over her tired eyelids.
"4 months Kathryn, and I'm sorry you had to miss her first steps. She has been missing you deeply though and Sam and I have taken turns in looking after her because she only seems to want to stay with the two of us." Chakotay reached over and wiped away what tears he could from her eyes, "Now don't take this the wrong way Kathryn but I have a bit of bad news."
"What is it?" She asked not looking him in the eye, "Seems everything's bad news now anyway."
"The Doctor has said that because the injuries to your back were so severe you won't be able to walk for the next few months but he will let you go back to duty if you are ready for that before you are able to walk again."
She smiled at him and let a soft laugh out, "He won't stop me from going on duty as soon as I'm out of here."
Chakotay returned her smile and took hold of her hand, "Now you get some rest and I'll bring Alyssa to see you in a few hours okay?" She nodded at this and settled herself down as she watched Chakotay walk out of sickbay with her daughter in his arms.
...
A few weeks after Kathryn had been returned to the ship and has been healed she was out of sickbay and back on duty, though she was restricted to a wheelchair and had no feeling in her legs for the time being she still managed to do her duties and look after her daughter. Chakotay had stepped back after he had helped her out of sickbay. And he felt as though she was shutting everyone out except for Alyssa and he was sure that she wasn't eating or sleeping properly again though it seemed somehow worse than before. 'I'll talk to her later.' He thought to himself as he watched her lift herself into her command chair for the first time in months.
"It feels good to be back." She beamed and looked around the bridge and at each of the bridge staff in turn.
"Its good to have you back Captain." Tom Paris the helmsman spun around in his chair to return Kathryn's smile.
"Welcome back Captain." Tuvok stated not much enthusiasm showing through his Vulcan discipline.
"Thank you Tuvok. Now I am guessing there will be a lot of reports to go through so Chakotay you have the bridge." She said as she lifted herself back into her wheelchair and disappeared into her ready room. Once she got there she put herself into the chair behind her desk and put her head in her hands and began to sob softly on her own. She knew that she wouldn't be able to cope like this alone for much longer, and she had guessed that Chakotay had backed off from her because he thought she didn't deserve anyone's friendship any more. A moment later the door chime sounded but Kathryn was too deep into her thoughts too hear it so Chakotay had entered his override code and walked in to see Kathryn with her head in her arms and her hair falling to cover what was left visible of her face, disguising the tears. But they could still be heard even though they were quiet.
"Kathryn what is it?" He said rushing over to her and placing a loving hand onto her shoulder.
"Its nothing Chakotay. I'm fine."She said shaking his hand off and sitting up, wiping away what tears she could.
"I can tell your not fine Kathryn. Come on, you know you can tell me anything and I'll be there for you no matter what." He smiled at her softly and put a finger under her chin so that he could lift her head so that she was looking at him.
"You don't deserve this Chakotay." She said pushing his hand away, "More, I don't deserve you for being the dirty little slut that let all this happen to her." She looked at her lap now and let the tears start falling again.
"Now that is not true Kathryn. You did not let all of this happen to you. Its Q who did this, so don't blame yourself. You know I love you and always will no matter what happens." He still kept his smile up and he brushed a hand gently through her hair now.
"Look at me I can't even walk." She said sobs breaking though every few seconds. She looked at her wheelchair now and didn't take her eyes off of it, "What if I'm stuck using that thing for the rest of my life?" She sobbed and then looked up at Chakotay who stroked across her cheek with his thumb now.
"I'll say this Kathryn I will always love you no matter what you look like or how old you are or whether you can walk or not. I love you for being you. Trusted it hurt when you started seeing Q but I respected your decision like I would have if it had been a command decision. And when he did this to you I wanted to kill him, but I stopped myself because I didn't want his blood on my hands. He just isn't worth the trouble. Don't let him win Kathryn. You can be strong and fight this. Be the Kathryn you were before. Be the Kathryn who can run a starship better than any other Starfleet Captain I've seen before. Be the Kathryn who will get this crew home, no matter what." He stayed sat on the edge of her desk as she got herself into her wheelchair and made her way to the sofa, "You will beat him Kathryn I know you will." He said smiling as he went and sat down next to her.
She looked into his eyes, hers glistening with unshod tears, "Oh Chakotay." She closed her eyes and let the rest of her tears slip as she managed a soft smile and felt Chakotay place his lips softly against her own.
...
TBC ? Hope you like the second part!