A/N- This is an extension from the drabble "Wonders" in my drabble fic "Little Thing Called Life" for all of you who are wondering.
Enough of my shameless plugging.
Warning- It's a bit, actually really, angsty, but that's just how I thought it needed to be.
If you recognize it, chances are I don't own it.
She watches him now and wonders why he doesn't hate her. She honestly couldn't blame him if he did.
But she's so, so happy that he doesn't.
She takes his hand in hers as they walk down the hallway, through the crowd of people that don't accept either of them, and wonders how he can even stand to be around her with all she's put him through. She knows she'd have problems being around someone that had done that to her.
But she's so happy that he can, that he does.
He doesn't know that she can see straight through the lies he tells her about what happens during his fights, even when she sees his injuries when he comes to her after it's all said and done. She sees it in his eyes when he's covering something he doesn't want her to know. She can see how much pain he's in when her hand brushes against the long gashes and burns that line his skin. She can see the long cuts that are sure to scar and then frowns when he flinches as she runs thin fingers over the long healed wounds. She can see his ragged edges of cuts, new and old, and fights tears because she knows they're her fault.
She can tell he doesn't want her to know that he's in pain, so she doesn't let him know she knows.
She's done so much to him already, it's the least she can do to give him this one little peace of mind. She doesn't think she could willingly put him through more than she already has.
She's only asked him about the portal accident once, and she doesn't think she ever will again. The pain that was there was enough to run her off for good.
She'd asked if it'd hurt, if he'd felt anything, but she'd seen the haunted look in his eyes as he'd lied to her.
"No, I only felt something for a minute. I blacked out after that." He's said with a forced, sad smile.
She knew it was a lie, she'd heard that painful, heartbreaking scream from that glowing portal that was all her fault.
She let it drop after that, but she'd never forgotten. She knew that he had been electrocuted, that he had been awake through the entire thing, but she would let him have his lies.
They covered up what she had put him through. They let her lie to herself.
She hated thinking about the fact that his skin was smoking when he had stumbled out of the glowing portal, or that the smell of burnt hair and skin had spun through the air and twisted her stomach into knots. She refused to think about the raw quality his skin had even days after the accident. She hated thinking about it, but it always crept back to her mind, waking her up in the middle of the night screaming his name in a cold sweat, pulling her into the blackest of moods on even the sunniest of day.
She knows that it's all her fault.
She really has no idea why he didn't hate her, but she was so happy that he didn't.
Sometimes, when he's flying and there's this huge smile on his face, she thinks that she really hasn't cursed him with what she's done. These are the days that she can smile and laugh and her wonderings and only a small part at the back of her mind. But, then he comes to her all battered and bruised from whatever ghost it is this time and she can't help but start wondering again.
She knows he doesn't think of it that way, but she doesn't understand why.
She squeezed his hand, frowning as her skin brushed over scared skin.
She knows that's her fault too.
He fights every day, it never fails. He almost always comes back to her, smiling and covered in wounds that would make most run, asking for some help because she knows he's no good at nurse work. She knows about the scars marring his body, about the long gashes and red burns that cover his skin, but he pays them no mind. She knows they trouble him, that they wake him in the middle of the night with their physical and mental reminders- it's always her he runs to-, but he won't tell her this himself, so she lets him think she's ignorant. She lets him come to her for first aid and then sends him home with a kiss and wave, and she won't tell him she knows how bad he's hurting.
She tells him she loves him, and he puts his arms around her right there in the hallway, planting a kiss on her nose before replying with an "I love you more."
She smiles at him as they walk into class and sit next to each other, but she can't help but frown on the inside.
How can he love her? How can he even be around her after everything? Why doesn't he blame her for it all?
The next thought comes unwelcome, unbidden.
How can he love her when she's killed him? Truly, honestly killed him?
His parent's hate his alter ego, they whole world scorns his kind; his only friends are her, Tucker, and his sister. How can he love her when she'd done this to him? Why doesn't he hate her?
She's so, so happy that he doesn't though, even when she hates herself.
Oh, so much angst in a matter of, what, two days? Sorry guys!
Tell me how I did? Please and Thank You!