Oh my darling, oh my darling, oh my darling Clementine...
You are lost and gone forever,
dreadful sorry...
She really wasn't sure what was happening, right at the moment. She heard someone call out to her, and she was vaguely aware that she should respond, or at least acknowledge that she had heard, but it felt like the world was collapsing around her.
It probably was.
"Your name is Clemetine, right?"
She kept following around the new girl, and she knew she was being a bother, but she really just wanted a good friend. Everyone here was nice enough (Depending on how you defined nice), but no one was really her age, or her type, or nice ENOUGH.
But this new girl was kind, and her age, and they could get along SO WELL! She really hoped that they could become friend, really.
It'd been so long since she'd talked to anyone that was more interested in being friends, instead of the world around them. She just REALLY wanted them to be friends.
"Yes... You were Sarah, right?"
And Sarah's face lit up at her name. She remembered! Remembering name was on track to becoming friends! And then they could be best friends!
"Oh good! Cause I just really wanted a friend, and it's been a while. My dad won't let me go out and find friends, even though I really want to... I suppose that's okay, since it's bad out there, but I just really want someone to talk to... Not about the world either, or..."
She felt like she kept rambling, on and on and on, but she was also justified. It had felt like forever since anything normal had happened to her, and this was her chance. She just had to grab it, and not mess up!
"Well... I suppose... I mean, I don't really know you, but I won't say that we can't be friends. It'd be nice to have some friends here."
And she went ballistic. She hugged Clementine, and giggled, and really, she kept telling herself to lay off of it. Clementine would leave if she got annoying, and this was probably borderline annoying, if she wasn't already. But Clementine was nice, and she wouldn't just drop her where she was, anyways.
"Oh thank you!"
And she felt like the happiest person in the world. A friend who wouldn't just ask her if she was okay, or if anything had happened to her, or went on and on about the world...
She hugged her knees to her chest, and stared off into the distance. Well, the floor, since it was quite close. She was pretty sure that the person was calling her name now, but that wasn't important. She just wanted to curl up and die.
She spaced out again for a little while, and time seemed to melt into itself, and melt into her, and burn her, and burn her bad. She felt tears pricking at the edges of her eyes, and she just wanted her father. But he wasn't here right now.
Hopefully whoever was with her was off trying to get him.
Hopefully...
"Is this right?"
Clementine yelps and ducks out of the way, and she jumps back. What did she do? Why was Clementine panicking? Was there something wrong? Someone here? Some people?
"No! Not like that! Don't point a gun someone, under any circumstances. Even if it's-..."
She kept talking, but Sarah felt her breathe catch in her throat.
Oh god, Clem is right... What if I had accidentally shot her? Then I'd have to explain it to Dad, and he'd be mad, and then Clementine might die... Why would I do that? I can't honestly be the idiotic enough to point a gun at someone...! I mean, I've never used on before, but it should be a basic idea, not to do that...! But then I did it, and oh god, how could I be that stupid...?! And-
"Hey? Sarah? SARAH?!"
Sarah startled back to reality, and she realized that Clementine was holding her shoulder.
"H-huh, what?"
"You okay? You seemed a bit shaky there..."
"Well yeah, I just pointed a gun at you, and I'm really sorry, and I should have known not to do that-"
"No, really, it's fine. No harm done. Just remember in the future, not to do that. Hopefully, though, you'll never have to use one of these anyways, right? If anyone should be shaky, it should be me."
"But how could I think of doing that? It was so stupid, and I could have hurt you, and then you'd be in pain, and you might have died...! And..."
But Clementine shushed her, and looked her in the eye,
"Hey, look. Really, even if you had accidentally shot me, and you wouldn't have, then you're a beginner. You couldn't have hurt me that bad, since you don't know how to aim yet, so everything would have been fine. And if it help, you were doing it right. That's exactly how you use a gun."
Sarah felt her pulse racing at a thousand miles an hour, every scenario playing out in her head. She might have shot Clementine. She might have killed Clementine. She would have gotten in trouble.
But as Clementine pulled her into a tight embrace, Sarah let out a deep breath.
"Y-yeah, I guess..."
"Yes definitely, not I guess about it."
Sarah was really glad that she had made Clementine her best friend.
They had come back, and they had brought some more people. She knew she should have, but she didn't recognize them.
Not all of them. She did see Clementine.
And she wanted to get up, and smile at Clementine, and leave here, because it was horrifying, and it was terrifying, and... And-
No, not it couldn't be, because if it was horrifying, if it was terrifying, then her dad...
Her dad...
She stayed where she was.
"But what if I cut the wrong berries...?"
Clementine laughed, and Sarah flinched. Clementine almost flinched for making her flinch, but she didn't.
"There's a bunch of berries here, but they're all the same type. Don't worry, you won't mess up."
But Sarah's mind was on a run. What if she cut up the berries accidentally? What if she cut herself? These were sharp shears, and she wasn't used to using them. She could easily hurt herself, or even Clementine, using them. What if she hurt Clementine beyond repair, like she almost had with the gun?
Thinking on that sent Sarah off the edge, and she could feel her breathing getting faster.
And then Clementine put her hand on Sarah's shoulder.
"Hey, look. It won't be hard, I promise. I mean, it's just cutting berries, so what can go wrong? Here, I'll show you."
She grabbed Sarah's shears from her, and went over to a bush. Taking a handful of berries, still on their branch, she slowly cut them, and smiled at Sarah,
"See, not hard at all!"
She laughed, and Sarah nodded slowly. She took back her shears, and snipped a few more berries off,
"Yeah, I suppose..."
Clementine smiled again, and Sarah smiled back. What had she done to deserve such a great friend?
She was so lucky to have Clementine, when everyone else seemed to focused on the hardships of life.
Then it was just her and Clementine. Someone was behind her, yelling, telling her that they had to get out of here, but Sarah just couldn't.
Outside was horrible, and bloody, and where it had happened, where it had happened, and she couldn't go back to that.
She couldn't go back, because he couldn't come back, and she wanted to sob, but her face was stiff, and her breathing was ragged, and she just couldn't find the tears in her.
And Clementine, her best friend, who helped her more than she could even know, just looked at her and begged. Or maybe negotiated. Or asked, or something, but Sarah couldn't really tell, because her mind was on overdrive, and she just couldn't listen, and she wasn't sure she wanted to.
"Sarah, please... It's not your fault, he was just being stupid about it."
But she kept crying, and rubbing that spot where her father had hit her. Why had he done it...? She hadn't done anything wrong, right? She was just talking to her friend, and that guy had flipped at her, and made her father hit her, and now she was here, and it stung.
"Hey, look at me. Everything's okay, and it wasn't your fault. Carver was just being a meanie, and you need to get up, and be brave. Right?"
She wasn't sure that she'd ever heard Clementine talk to her like that before, but she could hear the caring in her voice, and how much she wanted Sarah to be okay. Even if her father was being stern, and Carver was being mean, and the others were so focused on other stuff, too much so to care about her, it was okay, 'cause Clementine was always there to help her. Best friend always did that, they helped.
"Yeah... Sorry about that..."
"No need to be sorry! It's not your fault!"
Clementine smiled at Sarah, big and bright and happy. Sarah wasn't sure she could match it, because Clementine was always so positive and right and peppy, and she was always so negative and wrong and sullen, but that wasn't the issue.
No, it was definitely not the issue, cause that was probably just her inner voice telling her that Clementine was lying. But Sarah knew that she wasn't. Sarah knew that she cared. Her father cared about her too. She couldn't speak for Carver, and Reggie, and Troy, because they probably disliked her as well, since she was no help, but that wasn't the point. She told herself that, because no matter how much she told herself otherwise, she was wrong.
Because Clementine cared. Her father cared.
She flashed back the biggest, albeit wettest, smiled ever.
She heard Clementine's voice waver, and it was probably for the best. She couldn't face the outside again, not again, no, never again. Not after...
She couldn't think about it. She felt herself fracture again, she felt herself quake, and shiver. She couldn't, just never, never, couldn't. Even with Clementine, she just...
She felt the tears at her eyes again, but if she just focused on Clementine, and not the fear, how useless she felt, how useless she really was, then maybe she could...
No... She couldn't...
Her grip on her knees tightened.
"Sarah. Sarah look at me. It's going to be fine, you're going to be fine, we just need to leave. Come on, please..."
Clementine had that look in her face, the same one that she had when she pointed the gun at her, the same one that she had when Carver killed Reggie, the same one that she had when she first arrived, so long ago, it felt, and the two of them didn't know each other. Fear, that's what it was.
"Sarah please, we need to leave, we really need to leave. God, Clem, please, she's not listening. You're her best friend, I know she'll listen to you, she's got to..."
She felt that fear herself, she felt that tearing, ripping fear that was surrounding her, when they covered her in that disgusting stuff, and tried to leave. Clementine had tried to tell her what was going on and why they were running, but it didn't help, and she could never grasp what she was saying, because it was so terrifying.
So Clementine had stopped.
But now, she wished she had known, she wished she had listened, cause there were noises, and fear, and her father was looking at Clementine desperately, and Clementine didn't know what to do.
Then Clementine turned to her, and the shot rang out.
Her vision went black, and her consciousness faded, and she didn't know what was going on.
"Sarah!"
She was alone now, and the others were gone. She thought she'd seen them leave upwards, towards the ceiling, but that was ridiculous. How would they have done that?
She felt like she was grounding herself, but every time she touched the ground, something else came up and spooked her, and told her that she was useless, that the worst case scenario was unfolding, that her father was dead...
Dead...
Dead...
Dead...
She just couldn't wrap her mind around it, and it frightened her, and she wanted to cry, cause she couldn't do anything, and her worthless fear and anxiety and terror sent her bolting, instead of helping, and now he was dead, and she didn't do anything to help, and she knew the others blamed her, because who else were they to blame? Clementine didn't do it, and who else were they to blame?
And she heard a door bust open, and the things, the things outside breaking their way in, and Clementine's voice, small, tiny, and barely there, because she had been left behind, and Clementine was gone, because she had moved on, because Sarah was too scared to move on, and it was just one word...
Just one word...
"Sarah..."
"Clementine...?"