A/N: Sorry, I just felt like rewriting this whole thing because of reasons (grammar, more paragraphs, want of a longer prologue chapter, etc.) and I feel pretty confident with this one because it's a little more deeper and darker. Funnily enough, I'm one whose not a great fan of dark material stories, but I just felt like this was a pretty good direction for me. I have to warn you though, there will be some TRIGGERS within the contents of the story that you will most likely not enjoy reading. Please, don't try to be brave if you have something against this because this will have stuff that's, while not dark enough, dark. So, please be careful when reading.
For those of you new here, this is a sort of SI-OC class rather than a Girl-falls-into-Middle-Earth category. I just felt like doing one with the direction of an interesting concept inspired to me by a certain video game. Also, if there's anyone who knows the language of Middle-Earth, mostly BLACK SPEECH, please message me, I'd like to ask for translations because of reasons. Thank you and read on!
Disclaimer: I own nothing written by J.R.R. Tolkien nor do I take credit to Peter Jackson's movies; I only own my original character(s).
"He who fights monsters should see to it that he himself does not become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you."
— Friedrich Nietzsche, Beyond Good and Evil
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It was cold.
I couldn't feel my skin. Not my fingers, not my palm, not my legs nor my toes... everything was numb and gone.
It just made it a lot more easier for my killer when he dug the knife deeper, sinking it inside my flesh as blood bloomed like a pale bag of red paint spilling over when something sharp broke through.
How did I get here? I had wondered deliriously after pausing the choking tremor of horror that had taken over my mind. How did this even happen?
I remembered. There was laughing, talking, and walking along side the streets as snowflakes rained down. There was colorful displays of light, coming in wonderful shades that truly made the snow-covered scene in the central village a winter wonderland. Shops open, warm and full of mirth and life as people came and went, pubs overcrowding from gathering friends and townsfolk to ramble and drink heartily of the holiday. I had been happy, swarmed by welcoming companions that shared my enthusiasm as the night went darker and the lights became brighter.
And then, I was alone. And then, I was frightened.
And now, I was dying.
What once fell beautiful white flakes that seemed to shine from the pale moons luminescence turned to jagged, ugly crimson drops as they splattered and clashed horribly against the pure, untouched snow. The red growing thicker and deeper and darker as more followed as if someone had left a leaky pipe unattended for it to drip, drip, drip away.
The knife crudely carved its way in and out of my skin. I felt violated, penetrated by sharp metal continuously as the stranger kept thrusting with a punishing force, my lungs shuddering from the inhaling of cold air and blood coming through from the punctures of the sharp tip of the blade. It went deeper, twisted to the inside of the meat, and went on like that as if an amateur butcher didn't know how to cut fresh meat out of the ice box properly. All the while, my body was slowly drained of the blood it held, watching it waste away like spilled red milk.
It almost seemed that just a minute ago I had been in the midst of shopping for presents I meant to give to my nieces and nephews (I couldn't afford to buy their parents and my parents gifts yet, I wasn't made out of money!). I was excited and impatient, I wanted to gather everything before the due date, and I wanted it to be perfect when I would record it as the little ones would open their gifts and beautiful glow of joy would appear on their cherub-like faces. And because I was impatient and eager to get the shopping done before the people would crowd the stores, I had wandered away from the watchful gazes of my loyal companions...
... and ended up like a wandering sheep that had strayed too far from its flock.
And not long after, I was caught in the jaws of a wolf.
Now, here I was, crawling along the ground like some sort of lowly dog that whined and whimpered. My numb, bloodied hands clawing the frosted ground, desperately dragging my body in a futile attempt of escaping the stranger who went on to ripping sharp edges into my skin. I sobbed for mercy that I knew went on ignored (otherwise this whole mess wouldn't have started if he had every intention of finishing me), the pain biting me from the cold air that swooped along the open wounds that now decorated my once immaculate attire.
I opened my mouth, blood and saliva streaking down my chin and onto the already soiled snow, and barely a sound past a small cry came out. There was no move to silence me, no move to hinder me from calling out to help, and that was enough to tell me just how confident he felt as to drawing out my death in an open place. I could see the familiar bright lights in the distance just brimming over the buildings from ahead, the faint sounds of people chattering and walking about as they went on with their own lives, enjoying the night with friends, families, lovers...
And I was here, about to be killed by this twisted person who dragged me away into the darkest parts of the village to commit his murderous purpose.
My killer felt no joy, no regret, no sorrow... just a twinkle of curiosity that gleamed across his blank face. It was if I was a bug being inspected by a tiny child before he went on to rip off my wings and a few of my legs before collecting me to be encased in a glass frame. Thinking of it made me wonder just how many other people he had tormented before killing them...
Or maybe, I thought with a sickening jolt, I was his first that he wanted to experiment with. His first new toy that he wanted to break to see everything before throwing it away and moving onto the next.
All this hurt, bleeding, dying out of the simple case of curiosity.
I was dragged away. The streets, lights, and crowds grew further away, the buildings barely illuminated from the darkness. I wish I could have screamed, but my swollen mouth full of blood prevented me from any more attempts. My feet and legs dragged heavily along the snow, leaving more stains of my draining blood like a trail made nearly entirely out of the color red. Darkness was coming for me, I saw as my vision faded more as time went on.
I didn't want to die; I didn't want to die like this! Why was this happening to me?! All I was doing was looking for gifts, shopping with my girlfriends as they shared news of their own lives and what presents they hoped to give/receive. I was minding my own business, I was looking for perfect gifts, I was just walking along and not bothering anyone, I was a good girl—
It didn't matter whatever excuse or reason: this person chose to kill me to sate his interest on about how one went on to killing another.
Before I knew it, I was up in the air then falling until my body plunged inside the darkness of icy water. Instantly chasing away what little warmth there was, I watched helplessly as the river went deeper and darker, my body to injured and losing its connection that I stayed locked as a statue while sinking further. The shades of moonlight were the only source to illuminate the darkness until it too began to fade and abandon me into the abyss.
I sank into the black waters.
why...?
My battered lungs convulsed, the thin air holding slowly slipping away.
Why?
My mind was tearing apart as the life in me slipped away with the air, the coldness that surrounded me encroaching and swallowing me whole.
Why?!
My family, my friends, anyone that I knew, they would think of me with worry before falling into despair when someone would eventually fish out my body from the dark river.
WHY?!
Hatred.
Utter black fury filled me up as my lungs finally gave in and engulfed the dark waters inside. The image of my apathetic killer scarred into my soul, the unfairness of why this happened, just the whole fucking night brought nothing but unconstrained anger inside me. Whatever had I done to deserve a death like this from a stranger whom I never knew or met till now?! It was outrageous and fucking stupid, how dare he?!
How dare God forsake me?!
There had been times when I was angry: petty squabbling between families, hurt from a former lover, and life just being a total tool at the worst of times. But this? I wanted to rise from the waters, track that man and kill him slow while carving grotesque words into his skin. I wanted to dig into his insides with my bare hands, just dig my fingers into his meat and watch as warm, rich blood stained my hands and wrists as they went deeper as he screamed and gargled in his blood. I wanted to destroy and obliterate, erase... all the joy from the world. I wanted the chaos and pandemonium, I wanted the world to know of my injustice of death!
I wanted the world to bow and bleed as it was burned alive!
Unbeknownst to me, someone heard my wrath, rage, and ruin.
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When I came to, I had awoken to fire, screams, and the pungent smell of blood as I drew my first breath into the new world; I would one day walk amongst others like me, just as angry and filthy and bloody, all of them spreading the shadows and ashes as we sought to ruin it, just as it ruined us.
I awoke to walk with death, darkness, and monsters alongside me.