OMG I love summer it's then only time i can spend as much time as i want on the computer without worrying about school sleep time and stuff like that. now i am finally updating. this is my first songfic. i heard this song long ago. it was originally by Tae Yang and then adapted to english by Tommy C & . i hope you enjoy. it's a really good song, you should listen to it. if you haven't yet that is.
Never should've let you go
Never find myself at home
Ever since that day that you walked
Right out the door
Renji looked pleadingly at the receding back of Rukia. Throwing one last disappointed and pained look at Renji she slammed the door in his face. As if by a delayed reaction Renji reached out and grabbed Rukia, but found nothing but thin air. He wanted to desperately take back his words, he knew they hurt her deeply, but it was too late. Backing up to a wall he slowly sank to the floor and buried his face in his hands. The red haired rapper stayed that way until the first ray of sunlight came through the windows. The rest of the day Renji moved listlessly through his house, doing basic day-to-day activities. His eyes were vacant and his body moved robotically, like he wasn't even paying the slightest thought to what he was doing. Instead, his mind skipped into his own la la land. When his manager, Zabimaru, came, Renji just waved him away telling him to cancel everything on his schedule. The manager opened his mouth to protest, but then thought better of it. The dark shadows under Renji's eyes, the usual smirking face now haggard and seemed to age a few decades. Even his hair was lifeless and let down. It was all the sing he need to be told something was wrong. Wordlessly, Zabimaru nodded and left Renji in his million dollar pent house alone.
You were like my beating heart
That I, I can't control
Even though we've grown apart
My brain can't seem to let you go
Thinking back to the old times
When you kept me up late at night
We use to mess around
Laugh and play, fuss and fight
Crispy cold air around Renji signaled that winter was coming. His breath left in short puffs of clouds in front of him. Walking in the park in the middle of the night was dangerous, but he didn't care. Honestly he felt like dying right now. The only thing that kept his drive going to make it to stardom was Rukia. And now she was gone. It feels like his heart's been ripped out. They still kept in contact after that day. Never in person, always over the phone, her voice sounds like forced friendliness. He can't help but think of how it used to be, reminiscing about the better days. They used to stay all the way till late in the night playing and watching TV. They even used his built in karaoke room to hold mock singing contests. Then after he would obviously win, Rukia would start a pillow fight until they were both lying on the floor exhausted and laughing their butts off. Those were the good days.
I guess it's too late, I'm dancing this dance alone
this chapter's done, the story goes on.
"It's not too late, you know," Renji looked up from his daydreaming. He seems to do that a lot lately. It was negatively interfering with his music career. The producer kicked him out and the agency president to fire him if he didn't get his act together. Thus, he was here at his favorite bar, trying desperately to drink out his misery. It wasn't working. A hand waved in front of his face. The hand moved away and in its place was the face of Karin Kurosaki, self-proclaim bar tender extraordinaire.
"Huh?"
"Hellooo, Renji, I said it wasn't too late." A grunt answered her. Annoyed she kept on talking, "I know it's sad and everything but is it really like you sit around and mope all day. I think it's more like your style to take her back in an overly dramatic, romantic and flashy way," still no reaction. Leaning closer, her voice then turned solemn, warning him. "If you're going to sit here wasting all your time, someone else will come into her heart and take your former number one spot."
(Chorus)
Baby
Can't believe that you are not with me
'Cause you should be my lady
All I want is to set your heart free
But if you believe that you belong with him
Promise me, you won't let anyone hurt you
Remember, I will always be here for you
Even if it kills me to see you
In that wedding dress
Oh see you in that wedding dress
See you in that wedding dress
Oh see you in that wedding dress
He should have listen, standing outside the pristine, white church he knew he should have. On the day of Rukia's wedding he was here, as the musician, no matter how much he wished he was the groom. They had forgiven each other and reconcile…except this time as friends. Rukia's feelings for him were a relic of the past but his stilled stay strong. Of course she doesn't know that. He couldn't bring himself to say what he felt, especially when he saw the hopeful look Rukia had when she propose they could still be friends. I'm an idiot, Renji thought as he made his way up the church steps to where the bride and her groom were at. He actually winced as he saw the couple. Rukia in her beautiful pure white kimono and her fiancé, Ichigo, in a pitch black yukata, they made a huge contrast yet it somehow fits. Yes, Rukia Kuchiki, his best friend and former lover was getting married to Ichigo Kurosaki, his other best friend. Oh lord, why do you have to be so cruel? Rukia squealed as he went to congratulate them, he hugged her and shared a joke with Ichigo and laughing like normal. Bidding them good bye, he came inside to the grand piano in the corner of the church. Most of the guests have arrived and he was playing for the ceremony. Taking a seat on the piano bench he felt a presence behind him. It was Karin.
"You gonna say 'I told you so'" he asked.
"I would, but you seem so pathetic right now. If I say anything bad you'll probably breakdown." Karin said matter-of-factly.
Renji groaned, and then the church bell rang. Karin hurried back to her place by Yuzu as the bridesmaids. Rukia walked down the aisle led by her brother, Byakuya to where Ichigo was waiting with a smile on his face. Renji started playing the wedding march. When they reached the pedestal Rukia tried three times to yank her hand away from her brother's. Renji had to smile at that scene no matter how torn he was feeling. The priest started speaking the vows, Renji tuned it all out, only paying attention to when the priest said "….you may kiss the bride." The whole church erupted into cheers and applause. At that part when his true love and her lover kissed Renji closed his eyes, the pain was too much. Karin was right; he was so pathetic right now. As the clapping died down Renji got up and glared at Karin when she gave him a pitying stare. The rest of the wedding was all forced smiled and excuses to go home early for him. In his limo with the sound proof screen separating him and the driver is when he finally cried his heart out. Like he has been dying to do since she walked out his door, and this is the final push he needed to throw himself over the edge.
Snappin out this misery
Depression this ain't me
But I always turn around
180 degrees
You got control of me
And I, I can't explain
Somebody call 911 Emergency
Before I go insane
Since you've moved on
You took a piece of me give it back
So much pain in my chest
Blacking out, heart attack
"Give me one mooore." Slurred Renji.
"I don't get why you are here Renji, we're supposed to be rivals, according to Japan's population at least." Byakuya said. He still handed the miserable mess on his mahogany table a shot anyway.
"It's a temporary friendship until I get over her. Or until your liquor runs out, whichever comes first." Renji answered back happily then broke into anime tears. "Oh, who am I kidding Kuchiki, of everybody in the world why does it have to be Ichigo?"
"Maybe because you broke her heart and spirit with those cruel, despicable, loathsome, accusing words all those months ago. Which I haven't forgiven you for, by the way." Byakuya answered, giving Renji a cold glare. Renji winced, every description of their fight wounded his already broken heart even more. Letting Byakuya's lecture drone on in his head as his mind wandered.
(J- Reyez, rap)
And I see you with your man
and it's hard to understand
If we belong, if I did you wrong,
where we even began
We would always fuss and fight
and it seems nothing was right
But I loved you girl and you were
my world but you'd never trust this guy
He always believed that he deserved Rukia more than Ichigo did. Normally he wouldn't think these things. Ichigo was his most trusted friend for goodness sakes. However the alcohol was deeply affecting him and his mind was going towards more the useless and stupid path. The more he thought about the more he was angry at Ichigo for stealing away Rukia. Ichigo had only known her for 3 years and it was because the red head introduced them. Oh, how he feel the remorse now all those years later. He usually could keep his inner emotions hidden, except when he sees his ex and her new love then the slight millisecond in which the heart wrenching emotion comes through that he can't stop. He groaned as he remembered something he really didn't want to. The events of that day.
(still rap)
'Cause the things I do when
I'm on the stage,
they say I'm a superstar
You couldn't understand all
the female fans
and then we grew apart
And I just don't get when
you're acting like some other person
"Wait a minute Rukia, why are you so mad?" Renji asked laughing like he's high, which he kinda is with all the cocktail he drank at the party. They were in his pent house to celebrate. He just finished his world tour and he feels like he's king of the world right now. "Yeah, baby! Can you believe it? My world tour was a total success. There were so many people. You should be happy for me babe. The fans all love me" Rukia whipped around, the crazed smile slipped as he saw her face, and the unbridle fury in her eyes. She was a lot angrier than he originally thought. Renji sigh, this was going to cause more trouble than he needed.
"That's the problem!" Rukia growled, seeing his bewildered look she continued.
"You don't get it, do you?" Rukia hissed, "All those girls are throwing themselves at you and you just accept them like that. You even kissed one of them!"
"That's what you're mad about? That's so stupid, she was only wanting some love. It's my job to give my fans what they want. I'm an entertainer." Renji said.
Rukia got even madder. "So you're fans are more important than me then? I'm your girlfriend!"
"Hey, that was not what I said."
"Well you implied it." Rukia retorted
Renji could feel his face getting hot as the argument continued, "And what about you, surrounded all those male semi-nude models must be a blessing. Eh, Rukia? I bet you let them kiss you all the time." he sneered.
"How dare you say that? I have always been faithful to you. But it's obvious you haven't with the 'I need to give my fans some love' excuse," Rukia yelled.
"You say you're faithful Rukia. As if. Living with Byakuya is proof enough. There's no way you can stay in the same house with a guy like that and not have some relationship going on. What did you do, sleep with him in order for a place to sleep? You whore, you'll love anyone who gives your reputation a boost."
Rukia flinched and was near crying. Renji regretted those words immediately. "Hey Rukia, I didn't mean it. Don't cry now." He went to take her hand in his. She yanked it away, and stiffly straightened her back.
"Renji Abarai, you have gone too far. I take high offense in that you think there is something going on between me and Nii-sama. And how could you call me a whore. We've been friends since childhood Renji." She raised her voice and let her tears fall. "This is over. I gave you enough chances. Seems like fame has gotten into your head. You are not the person I fell in love with." Rukia wiped away her tears with new determination. She gathered her things to leave.
"Wait Rukia, I didn't mean what I said. Please stop, don't leave." Renji pleaded as he tried to grab her arm. Rukia shoved him away.
"Good bye, Renji,"
(Rap cont.)
But I try my best to hold on
at the times when it ain't working
And every time that you say
it's over it breaks my heart
and I don't know why
'Cause you've done it a lot
of times in the past
but I get back up and try
You said we could work it out,
how could you hurt me now
And you moved on to the next,
I'm left with an imperfect smile
After the trip down memory lane, they didn't talk but he still drank like crazy, it didn't help that Byakuya joined him around half past midnight. By morning, Byakuya was hogging the toilet producing horrible sounds and Renji passed out cold on the table. Byakuya sorely regretted the decision to join Renji in a drink fest and was reminded of it every time the pounding in his head got unbearable, which happen to be every minutes. Suddenly Renji stood straight up knock the stool over.
"Kuchiki, I got it. I have finally realized something. A great big ape with a snake for a tail came to in my sleep. He questioned me endlessly until I found that I have been so idiotic this whole time." Renji said breathlessly, "I was the one to cause the rift between us, instead of fixing it I wasted my time, and now I am blaming her to wanting to be with who she wants. That's just selfish. On the wedding day when I saw her smile I felt happy like the feelings I felt during our dating time. I fell in love with her smile; if Ichigo can protect that smile of hers I'm happy. I with this I came to a conclusion that it doesn't matter if I'm happy or not as long as she is I will always be satisfied by her side." Renji finished, with resignation in his voice.
Byakuya listened to Renji's whole tirade and nodded at the end. "So you're telling me that a monster, which is probably a figment of your imaginations, came to you in your dreams and taught you about love philosophies?"
"You make it sound so weird but yeah" Renji said cheerily.
"And just like that your depression is gone?"
"Well not completely, I still feel sad but not too bad, I think I've moved on." Renji beamed, "Zabimaru-sensei is a god sent, and he taught me so many things I never knew. It's a self-discovering moment!"
Byakuya sigh and rubbed his head. "Whatever, just get out of my house already, freeloader."
But if you believe that you belong with him
Promise me, you won't let anyone hurt you
Remember, I will always be here for you
Even if it kills me to see you
In that wedding dress, dress
Oh see you in that wedding dress, dress
See you in that wedding dress, dress
Oh see you in that wedding dress, oh no
The farewell they said was sad. But there is always someone else who could fill up the empty hole the good bye left. And just like that he found someone new. Of course it took a long while. But now he's happy.
"Hey Renji, let's go."
"Sure, Tatsuki,"
i'm a big fan of ichiruki but i can't help but think about how renji would feel. but then i also support rentatsu so i had this story in my mind for a long time. since the moment i have heard this song the story and it just clicked. review review please.
MERCYN