SANTANA'S POV
I know this is wrong, but it feels too right to stop. Truth is, I don't want it to stop. Being with Rachel feels as easy as breathing. The problem is we're both already dating someone else. Her and Quinn have been together for two years and live right across the hall from Britt and I. Oh my sweet, innocent Brittany. Her and I have been together for four years now, but she's been my best friend for a lot longer than that. How do I look at her and say I've been cheating on her for six months? I can't. Not after everything we went through to be together. We were finally at a good place, because we were there for each other.
When I was outed by Finn, when she almost didn't graduate, when we were struggling to find a place here in New York, when I was trying to find a job to afford a place in New York, and most recently, when my father died. I could always count on her, just like she could always count on me. She's been in my life since I was seven. I can't break her heart. It would kill me to see that look of devastation on her face. Yeah, I'll admit I'm a coward. I can't end things with Rachel, because I lover her, and I can't end things with Brittany, because I love her.
I know I'm selfish. Sooner or later I'm going to give up one of them, but I just can't. What makes it hard, is Rachel is the same way. She never pushes me to leave Britt, because she's still with Quinn. It makes my heart ache to think about it. I'm not only hurting one of my best friends, I'm hurting both of them. I wouldn't blame them if they hate me when all this comes to the surface. I just really hope that it's not anytime soon. I'm not quite ready to lose my best friends. I'll actually never ne ready for that.
RACHEL'S POV
Lying down next to Santana always makes me feel like, all my problems are gone. It's like we're in our own little world and nothing can hurt us. It's an amazing feeling, even if it's just temporary. It's a feeling that I never want to let go. I know for a fact that Santana never wants to let it go either, but we might have to in time. We both know that this can't go on forever. We'll either have to let go of our blondes or let go of each other. We're just not ready to let go of anything yet.
It's hard to think about letting Quinn go, because I love her so much. We've been together for two years, of course I love her. She was there for me when I literally had nobody else. We started dating our senior year, after she admitted to having feelings for me and I refused to get back with Finn. She helped me get into NYADA, she helped me move to New York, and she even decided against Yale and went to NYU instead, to be closer to me. How do I inform her that I've been unfaithful for half a year?
I don't want to break her heart. I love her, but I love Santana too. Then, there's Brittany. The only ex-cheerio who never called me a cruel name, push me in the hall, or tossed a slushie in my face. I think Brittany is incapable of hurting anybody. She's the most kind hearted person I've ever had the pleasure of calling my friend, and I'm betraying her in the worst way possible. I'm sleeping with the girl she loves behind her back. I realize in the end, I'll probably lose all three of them, but for now, I'm going to be selfish and hold on.
BRITTANY'S POV
I'm not as stupid as people think I am. Sure things like math, reading, and whoever the president is might confuse me, but I know people. I know that Santana and I haven't been great for awhile, but that doesn't make what Quinn and I are doing ok. It's anything, but ok. Santana and I have been dating for four years now. I should be able to talk to my girlfriend when I'm sad, instead I run to Quinn anytime I'm feeling bad. I know I'm not being fair to my girlfriend. She always comes to me when she needs me.
We've had each other's backs since we were seven. She would help me in school when I didn't understand something, she would stay by my side, so I wouldn't feel alone, and she would always beat up anyone who made fun of me. She's my best friend. I hurt her once when I dated Artie in high school, I don't want to break her heart again. It took her months before she was ok again. I almost lost her forever, and I can't let that happen.
I've got to remember, I'm hurting Rachel here too. She's so tiny and fragile, I don't want to hurt her. She's been super nice to me ever since we became friends. She hangs out with me when Santana is busy. We watch movies, she plays just dance with me, and she even went with me to the vet when Lord Tubbington ate my charm bracelet. I don't want to make Rachie sad. I might be people smart, but this is a moment where I don't know what to do.
QUINN'S POV
If there's one thing I've ever been sure of, it's that I'm a bitch. Cheating on my girlfriend for the last six months proves that. Please don't get me wrong, I love Rachel. I just can't stay away from Brittany. It's like I'm drawn to her, no matter how much I wish I wasn't. If I could just be faithful to the girl who helped me accept who I really am, my life would be so much easier.
Rachel saved me, pure and simple. She helped me come to terms with my sexuality, she stopped me from trying to get Beth back, she even put her discomfort aside to talk to Shelby on my behalf. I don't know what I would of done my senior year, if it hadn't been for Rachel. I would probably still be stuck in Lima. She did so much for me, moving to New York was the least I can do for her. We've been there for each other for the past two years. I don't want that to change.
It hurts to think that this can't go on forever. If I don't make a choice soon, the truth will find it's way to the surface. I can't even imagine what would happen when Santana finds out what I've been doing behind her back. I consider myself lucky that she's still my best friend after all the shit we pulled in high school. This will definitely be one situation that our friendship will not survive. I'll lose Rachel, I'll lose Santana, and possibly even Brittany, if we don't make a decision soon. Yes, I'll admit I'm a bitch, but it's never been something I'm proud of.