I'm Sorry
Summary: Two words… two souls….one promise which could never be fulfilled….. Warning: mpreg ! EDITED
Pairing: Hughes x Roy Disclaimer: I own FMA…yep! I do …. & so also The Statue of Liberty, The Taj Mahal & the entire Holly Wood Film Industry!!
AN: Entirely Hughes' POV. Set just after the birth of his daughter . It's just some pointless stuff which I wrote in the midde of the night!! I usually don't get such crazy ideas but this time, I was going through my Biology chapter( Reproduction ) & then I imagined: how would it look if Roy became… U know what…& there you have it- a totally mad fanfic!! I hope u guys like it!
Notes and references : blah- thinking ; also used for emphasis BLAH- shouting blah- yelling like crazy.
Now on with the story.
--
'Ah! Such a lovely morning! No paperworks, no cases to solve, no Roy to bother…' the very thought of Roy made me give out a heavy sigh. It has been two months since we did that together.
No no! Don't get me wrong! It's nothing like what you people are thinking!! I was merely mentioning an experiment which we attempted to do! Yes, just an experiment! I wonder how it turned out!
' I wonder how Roy's doing! He has been acting a bit weird recently! Is he alright? I wonder…'
" Oh Honey! You're coffee's getting cold. Hurry up and finish it."
" Huh? Oh! Right! The coffee!"
I was so engrossed in thinking about my best friend that I forgot about the breakfast lying in front me! So silly of me! I guess I owe Gracia for bringing me back to reality!
"Are you okay? I've never seen you spacing out so much like this before!" Gracia said, with concern reflecting in her voice. Oh! She's such a sweetheart!
'Am I ? I am I thinking of Roy the whole morning?' I thought for quite some time. When I realized that Gracia was still looking at me inquisitively, I finally came up with an answer.
" Yeah, I'm fine! I was thinking of what to present our daughter for her birthday. Hey Grace! What do you think? Will a pink dress suit her?"
At this, she chuckled softly and said, "Yes I'm sure she'll love it! Anyway, I'm going to the kitchen. Would you answer if any more calls come?"
"Don't worry Dear! I'll manage!"
Trinn …trinn……
There went the phone again! This had been the third time since this morning! Honestly! Can't they find a better way to spend the mornings without ruining other's? But for now, I walked towards
that darn phone.
" Hello! "
" Maes."
I know that voice. It undoubtedly belonged to one person I know.
" Roy! Hi."
Yep! That one person is my bestest friend in the whole wide world. This better be good!
" Maes, I...I need to talk to you."
That's just like Roy...But wait! What happened to his voice? It sounded…it sounded like he was…crying!
Was he?
" Roy, what's the matter ?"
'There is definitely something wrong with him'. I thougt as a frown appeared on my forehead.
And when was the last time he called me by my first name? This very thought made me worry even more!
" I-I've been meaning to tell you this for quite some time now…."
I realized it was indeed Roy who made those calls earlier. I should've guessed!
"Hey go on! I'm listening!"
"No ! I can't…not like this!"
He can't!? But why? This must really be something serious...and… private! I mean, why else would he say that?
" So, what do you want me to do,Roy ?"
"Can you…."he paused and let out a heavy sigh, "Can you come over at my place … right now? I..I need you Maes."
" Yeah sure! I'll be right over!" I said as I put the phone down. I frowned aby thinking that something urgent must've come up1
I exhaled a sigh as I made my way to his apartment, my mind bubbling with many unanswered questions.
He needs me?? Okay, now he's really worrying me! He never sounded so desperate before! What could be so important that he sounded so…I don't know! Scared?
But I knew I had to do something…he was my friend and he needed me badly.
'Don't worry Roy…I promise to do whatever it takes to help you…'
--
Ding …….dong….dingdong dingdong dingdong dingdong dingdong ..dinnnnng..donng..
"That's enough, I'm coming already!" I could hear Roy yelling from inside!
Ah finally! He opened the door. He stood right there, his soft milky white hands placed on his hips. Wait a second! He just looked like Gracia by doing that!
"You don't have to push the doorbell that many times you know! " he said as he led me in.
" Sorry ! I guess I was a bit jumpy...so, what was it that you wanted to talk so badly about ?" I then took a good look at Roy. He seems to be alright...so then why…wait , hold on!Did he get puggy? So soon?
" Yeah … umm...well…I...'
" Oh c'mon Roy! Spill it already!!"
Now I'm really getting impatient! What is this? Somekind of suspense movie ?
"And what in the world happen to ya ? Have you been eating too much lately?" I continued. Boy! His belly was definitely a bit swollen… unless I was imagining things.
" That's what I've been trying to tell you Hughes !"
"Well then hurry up !"
"I'M TRYING !! IT'S NOT EASY YOU KNOW!!"
Jez!No need to shout Roy !
"Okay , I'm sorry ! Go ahead!"
Roy lets out a big sigh and then came closer to me so that he could whisper into my ears.
As he said what's wrong, my eyes automatically got wider and wider.
"YOU'RE WHAAAAAAT!!"I couldn't stop m self from screaming. That was shocking !!
" You heard me ! I'm ..I'm pregnant!"
"No freaking way !! " My limbs began to tremble.I couldn't stand any longer; I sat down on the sofa behind me with a big 'thudd.'
" But h-how? I mean as far as I remember, w-we didn't do anything!!"
" It's because of that alchemy experiment we did." As he was answering, Roy hept looking at his hands, which, out of nervousness were busy with the apron. And nevertheless, Roy was blushing furiously! Don't blame him though! I,myself was really confused!
" But that happened three months ago!" Roy merely nodded.
It was my fault. I came up with the suggestion of performing that experiment… the one about making a male pregnant…..and.. and I made poor Roy the guineapig despite of his reluctance. I wanted to see whether it was possible or not. But, guess it really does work!!
" I'm sorry !' That was all I could say then; my eyes wide and my mind in total shock, I still thought that it was a dream…. a bad dream!
It has been almost two months since my little encounter with Roy and should I mention that he's showing all the sings of you know what . But besides helping my friend out, I also have to concentrate on my sweethearts. Gracia's busy with Alicia now. Awwww… she looked so cute playing with her mommy!! I took a quick look over the two.
Man ! Gracia must've gone through extreme pain during the delivery, but it was worth it! Just look at the most precious prize which we got in exchange for that !! I could look at my daughter forever!!
Speaking of pregnancy, time to check on Roy. Like always , he must be waiting for me to spend time with him . I was with him the day before and think he's experiencing mood swings lately!!
Trinn………. Trinn…..
Oh ! The phone! Must be Roy!
"Hello!"
" Maes! Get your ass in here now !"
I grinned to myself.
Yep! I am right again ! It is Roy. And he sounds grumpier than usual…..
" Roy give me one hour and I'll be right there , okay ?"
" Hell No! Now means now ! Got that!"
Man ! Talk about attitude problem !
"Okay, okay! I'm coming!! " Sheesh! That guy should really consider getting himself a wife… someone like…Lt. Hawkeye. She can get him straight !! But for now , I have to think of an excuse to Gracia.
Surely you don't expect me to have told her the whole truth!
" Honey! Are you going somewhere?"
"Umm... yeah ! Over to Roy's place. He said that he …uh...needed those reports today. I'm sorry sweety! I hope you don't mind !!"
" Oh, of course not ! Be back before dinner okay!"
Yes!! I got her permission! Oh Grace! I love you so much!
"Yeah. I'll be back soon!"
--
At Roy's apartment……….
" I'm glad you remembered to visit , Hughes!"
" Hey ! You know I would…. just not so soon." Oops! Shouldn't've said that!!
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN!! You should visit me! I'm very delicate at this stage you know!!"
Delicate!? Huh… it's sort of weird coming from the Flame alchemist himself!
" I'm sorry! So, how you doin'…Oh wow! That looks pretty big !!" Well, he did look big.
But what's this? Is he blushing?? Awww… he looks so-o cute!!
" Don't look at me like that you stalker!'" Then his pink lips automatically curled to let out a soft, sweet chuckle.He looked so sweet like that. It was nice to see that he was loosening up a bit! Earlier, he was as stiff as a stick!!
He then sat on the couch next to me, slowly and carefully, making sure that his child would not get hurt. After he adjusted himself, his hand automatically came over the temporary home where the small life was currently growing, patting and caressing it lightly yet so affectionately.
Oh Roy! Why do I love you so very much ? Yes folks ! You heard me correctly! I do love him…as my best friend… but still, why do I feel the same gushiness as I do for Gracia when I'm with Roy? Strange; could I be… nah ! That's impossible! No way in Hell can that happen! I certainly don'…..
" MAES HUGHES!"
"Huh! What ? What is it Roy ? Why d'ya shout?" I asked him, being startled from that sudden rise of voice.
"Seriously Maes! It's the fifth time since I asked you… pay attention!!"
"Asked me? Asked me what?"I bit my lips as I realized the mistake I had made.' Oops! Bad move again!! God! What's wrong with me today?' I thought while giving out a nervous smile.
"You've been spacing out more than usual ! I said, how do I look ?"
He said that with a bit of pink blush on his soft cheeks. He slid his hand delicately across the small growing life inside of him. Oh! So he's talking about how he looked in that pink apron he was wearing?
Hey! Isn't that the apron which I had gifted to him last month?
"You look really cute in that!" He seriously did! And that apron emphasized his beautiful figure… including that cute rounded swell !! He looks so beautiful like that….so much like an… angel! It was really amusing to think that a small life was actually growing inside of him!! No wonder he became so careful, so protective!!
'He'll make a good mother, I'm sure.' I let out a soft smile just by thinking that.
" Thanks! I'm glad you like it….I wore it …..for you." He's blushing again! But wore it for me?? What did he mean by that ?
" I'm sorry ! I couln't quite catch you . Wore it for me? What did you ... uh… I mean thanks!" I quickly corrected myself. Better not make him sad! He does seem really happy! It's probably because of the pregnancy… yeah that's right!
"Umm... Maes! I ...I need to tell you something."
What's wrong with him? He's blushing again!! And this time, instead of that slight tinge of pink from earlier, his cheeks were now all but crimson!! Confused as to why and what was making Roy blush so furiously, I looked at him inquisitively, waiting for him to explain.
" Well, I ...you see I...I-I love you Maes...I really really love you!"
I still kept staring at him. Was he serious? Love??
He slowly stood up from the couch, sensing that something was definitely not right!
"Maes, w-what's wrong?"
"I'm sorry!"
"What!!"
" I said , I'm sorry. It can't happen Roy! It just can't."
"But why?"
Roy stood in shock! "Why? Tell me damn it !" By now, the redness of his cheeks had completely disppeared. Little did he know that he was in for a rude shock.
" 'Cause it's wrong! "
" Wrong?" Now he began to raise his voice.. It's not going to be easy… for both of us! All the shame from before was drained from his eyes. Instead, they had flashes…flashes of anger and desperation. He was despair; despair to gain my love and affection as his lover. But it was not possible… not possible at all!
"You think it's wrong to love each other? Well, if that's the case, then why did you suggest that we should perform that alchemy? Why did you support me when I told you it's consequences? And why the hell did you take care of me during all this time instead of just leaving me all by myself if you didn't even feel anything for me?"
" Because…..you're my best friend." Roy gasped as I continued, "Because I wanted to know whether that sort of alchemy really existed or whether it was just a hoax. Because it would be wrong if I had left you all by yourself after you fell victim for it. Because I just couldn't forgive myself if anything bad happened to you or your child and God forbid, if anything did happen to you guys, then I wouldn't be able to live with that sin."
I could see Roy's expression changing from shock to sadness as I spoke. His eyes were beginning to be filled with tears. Poor guy! But nothing could be done now !
"So…" he looked at me with hopeful eyes , wishing to get a positive answer,"…you don't love me at all!" His voice was chocked; a few more minutes and he would probably shed tears. I really felt bad for him.
" Of course I love you Roy! But, I'm not in love with you. Please try and understand Roy, I have a perfect family; I don't want to keep them in the dark; and even if I did , it wouldn't make you happy either…. You'ld soon feel less loved." I then took a step forward to shorten the gap between us." Do you understand ?" I placed a hand over his shoulder but he smacked it off!
"And what about my family?" That automatically widened my eyes. He…he sounded so hurt, so disappointed.
"And what about my family, huh?" He said again. " I simply didn't keep the child only to get you to love me you know…. I also wanted to make a family…with you…just the three of us..." He paused in between to resist the tears which were beginning to gather at the corners of his eyes. Then he gently placed one of his hands over the very spot.
"DON'T TOUCH IT!!"He jerked my hands off as I was going to touch the baby; but, I guess I now had no right to do so. It's weird, for I hadn't seen Roy's soft , tender yet protective side for such a long time!
"Roy, please, listen to me."
"GO AWAY MAES! I don't want you to be here."
"Roy!" I approached towards him, hoping to sort out the differences. But he wasn't ready for that.
"I said go!! I warn you Maes, don't come near me!!"
' But Roy! Listen to me!"
" Go away!! Leave me and my baby alo-AAH!" Roy took one misfortunate step and he tripped and fell flat on his abdomen! He lay there, his teeth cringed and a hand placed on the delicate spot. He was in miserable pain and required immediate attention.
"Oh my gosh, Roy! Are you okay? Roy! Roy!"
Two hours later, at the hospital,
" Excuse me, Mr. Hughes!" The doctor finally came out from Roy's cabin. He looked awfully serious!
" Yes doctor? Is everything okay?"
"Please come to my chamber; we need to talk about the patient."
We entered the chamber only to receive the worst news.
"The baby... I'm sorry it's …it's no more…"
I still kept staring at him. Did I hear him correctly?
Of God! What happened! What have I done!!
I could feel all the emotions flooding towards me….'It can't be true', I thought.
"...He frequently experienced pain but , he didn't want me to tell you. He had a lot of complications; I asked him to opt for abortion… but he wouldn't listen to me! It was so volatile that even the slightest stress could harm them."
Oh Roy! Why? Why did you hide that from me? I stood in shock. He went through these situations all alone! And he didn't even let me know!! You fool!
You fool! Why did you not tell me , you bastard!! I could feel my eyes watering with the warm liquid. My heart was stinging so much! I never felt so much pain before!
"Can I go and see him?" At last, I was able to say something. It took a lot of my will power to prevent me from crying.
"Yes of course."
--
At the cabin,
I took many deep breaths to calm myself down before entering into the room. The very room where Rou was waiting for me. I was feeling very nervous, unsure of how to give him the bad news.
" Roy! How are you feeling ?"
"Empty!" He said with distessed eyes.
" What?"
"My baby… what happened to…….no!"
He understood the answer by my serious expression….better if he didn't know.
" My baby…. No…nooo!!" How much more could he handle, the poor guy? He finally broke into tears…." My baby… no!" he kept on crying as he caressed his unborn child ,which now, would never be born! And it was all because of me...I was to blame….it was all my fault!
I couldn't control myself any longer. My eyes were filling up; my voice became chocked! I couldn't stay any longer. I needed to get out!
"Roy! I-I'm sorry!" That was all I said; that was all I could say.
--
It has been over a week since that misfortunate incident.
On one evening, I sat on the sofa… all by myself…with eyes ,half closed…..sitting still in the dark room…. while I kept recurring the conversation we had that night:
'… I have a perfect family; I don't want to keep them in the dark…'
Oh Roy! Now I know why you didn't tell me about your condition! Because you wanted to keep me happy; to keep my family happy. You didn't want me to lie to them; that's why you decided to keep your condition a secret !!
Roy, please forgive me ! I'm sorry! I'm really very sorry!!
'…. I also wanted to make a family… with you... just the three of us...' His voice kept echoing in my ears again and again… reminding me of my guilt. My heart ached just by the mere thought of it! I tried to call Roy yesterday; I called him today also...but he always hung up…This morning, he finally said that he didn't want me to call him; atleast, not now. I should've known ! I had this coming!
I took his happiness away from him, not one, but two; and I still think that he'll act like nothing happened!! How foolish of me!!
Somewhere in my thoughts, I could feel a tear sliding down my cheeks.
Oh Roy! I'm sorry! I'm so very sorry Roy...I-I'm so so sorry...
--
There you have it! Sorry it took me so long to edit. I think it sounds a lot better than before, don't you?
Thank you so much for giving me suggestions Onyx light and Sally! Here, it's a chocolate-chip cookie! I made it just for you! Hope you like it!! The Cookie—O. Yep1 sssThat's the cookie ; you both will be getting each! Yummy, isn't it? :3
So there you go! Thank you to all those who have added this to your favorites. And for the rest of you guys, please review my work! Your opinion does matter you know!
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See ya,
Anihuny