HARRY POTTER COMMITS SUICIDE

Wife Ginerva Molly Potter distraught

Harry Potter today was found hanging by a rope, suspended from his broom, which was seen drifting north by a passing muggle ship. No suicide note was found, and his will leaves everything to his wife's family, and they hope that his final wishes will help them last past this tragic incident...

Hermione looked at the grubby looking man, who handed her a hastily reconstructed stack of parchment. "Look, if anyone asks, I know nothing about this, Weasley... I don't know why you'd be investigating it, considering how much your in-laws got out of this..."

"Something seems off about it all, that's the only reason..." Hermione lied, as she studied the sheets. A copy of Harry's will, and a letter. That's all that the spell, designed to reconstruct evidence consumed by Fiendfyre, managed to recover from the home of Ginerva and Harry Potter. Hermione opened the letter first, sure her employer would want to know of this part first. They already knew about the will. She could see their signatures on it.

To whoever is reading this,

I, Harry Potter, never wanted the future I got. I wanted to be a hero, and got to be a highly paid Auror. I mistakenly proposed to Ginerva Weasley and had two kids. I don't know why. She made me quit my job, and become the new coach at the Harpies, and used mild stinging hexes whenever I showed favour towards any of the team but her.

The official report said that she was dismissed due to medical grounds, but actually, she was kicked off the team for attempting to have their promising new team member kicked off the team since I was doing one-on-one drills with her. She got her revenge. I got, surprisingly quietly, dismissed on suspected charges of feeling up the team during practices.

The charges were dismissed, but I was no longer outside of her influence again. Last few months, I bet you've seen plenty of shots in Teen Witch Weekly and similar of Harold James Potter and his stunning wife at all kinds of charity and Ministry formals. She invited me to all of them. The kids were getting annoyed, I was getting sick of it.

I have set out a new will, giving everything I own to those charities that she had me visit, and the rest to a project helping magical orphans, then, well, I'm going to end it. I don't want to be someone that is paraded as the Boy Who Lived by The Wife Of The Boy Who Lived, but that's what I got.

Harry James Potter

Hermione looked at the will. It was indeed a new will, with the right signatures. A extra piece of parchment showed that Ginny had contacted Gringotts and asked for the old will to be honored, and apologized for the accidental filing. She headed towards Gringotts with the information, smiling.

WEASLEY FAMILY TORN APART BY FRAUD

Ginny Weasley Exposed In Inheritance Fraud

Gringotts today wishes to apologize for not honouring the last wishes of Harry James Potter. It was discovered that Ginerva, having found the suicide note, had contacted Gringotts by express owl, claiming that Harry had mistakenly filed incorrect paperwork, citing that he didn't mean to file his new will.

This will, which generously gave to charity and to orphans like himself, was ignored in favour of a will which, according to the Gringotts staff member who witnessed it, had been done with the only witnesses being those named most prominently. Gringotts suspects the will they were planning shortly to pay out on was encouraged, through non-magical means, to benefit solely Ginerva and her family, who are known to be close to debt almost constantly.

Other facts have come to light including that Mr. Potter was falsely blacklisted by the World Quidditch League over a internally handled sex scandal. Arthur Weasley, current head of the Weasley Family, was heard to comment, "We rarely needed all of that money. Harry was generous to his family, and for Molly and Ginny to use his suicide to get it all... Terrible. One of the charities he went to was designed to offer payment-free loans to people like us, so we'd still be getting the money, just in a more legal way..."

The Goblins refused to comment on the verdict in the continuing legal matters. To hear about Hermione Granger, formerly Weasley, and her new career with Gringotts, go to Page 4. To hear about the rapid fall of Ronald Weasley, go to Page 8.