Title: Dismissing the Myth
Author: Miri
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: None, damnit! I pledge to remain spoiler free this season.
Distribution: Anywhere, just let me know.
Feedback: Please!
I heard you were back home. I heard you had decided that New York wasn't
the place for you. You didn't like the constant energy flowing through the
city. So, you packed your stuff, closed out your apartment, and flew back
here. To nothingness. That's what I call this place.
A fountain of youth? No. It can't be.
I've aged. So have you. But this place ... it stays the same. Always.
Never growing, never changing. It's monotony to the tenth power. Didn't we
learn powers in junior high school math? Or was it elementary. I don't
remember. All I remember was that back then, you were here. With me. Beside
me.
I didn't cry when you left. I didn't answer the phone when you called. I
never opened the envelopes when you wrote. Those letters sit on my dresser.
Begging to be opened. I won't touch them.
You tried to say good-bye. You wanted to explain. I didn't want to hear
it. I let you go, ignored the look of hurt on your face. I pretended I didn't
care. I've been doing a lot of pretending. Am I pretending right now? Maybe.
I think I'm pretending that this isn't your grave I'm standing over. I am
pretending that it's not your lifeless body lying under this patch of earth.
You died two weeks after you came back here. It was an accident. I'm sure
that driver hadn't meant to hit you. He just didn't see you. I know you
hadn't meant to be in the middle of that street at that very moment. I didn't
go to your funeral, even though they said it would be good for me. Say your
last good-byes, they said. Screw them. I'm not saying good-bye. I didn't the
first time, I won't this time.
Shouldn't I have listened to you when you told me I'd regret it? When you
told me I'd regret not speaking to you?
Maybe you shouldn't have slept with her. Maybe you should have ignored
the lust. It was wrong of you.
You're not dead. You can't be. You will return one day, and tell me again
how you don't love me anymore. How you want to be just friends. That you love
another. It will hurt just as much as it did the last time. Then you'll run
off with some slut, and leave me. Later, you'll come back and try to have me
again. It's a destructive pattern for which you're best known.
I'm very beautiful, you once said. I'm not so beautiful now, am I? Not
with the look of hatred staining my face.
Was it worth it, Max? Did she mean that much to you? Of course she did.
Remember when you told me that eating chocolate would cause me acne? It's
not true.
Remember when you told me that if I brushed my hair one hundred strokes
every night, it would all fall out? It didn't.
You loved to tease me about my vanity. You were cruel sometimes. They
were all myths.
Would it please you to know that I was on my way to see you the day you
died? I had just stepped out of the Crashdown, when that loud noise filled my
ears. You flew up into the air, landing on your head. Blood splattered my
clothes. You died in my arms. You won't remember this, Max, you were
unconscious.
I have to go now. I need to get home and sit by the phone. You are going
to call. You're not really dead. You'll call and say, "Isabel, I love you."
Just like you used to.
--End--
Author: Miri
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: None, damnit! I pledge to remain spoiler free this season.
Distribution: Anywhere, just let me know.
Feedback: Please!
I heard you were back home. I heard you had decided that New York wasn't
the place for you. You didn't like the constant energy flowing through the
city. So, you packed your stuff, closed out your apartment, and flew back
here. To nothingness. That's what I call this place.
A fountain of youth? No. It can't be.
I've aged. So have you. But this place ... it stays the same. Always.
Never growing, never changing. It's monotony to the tenth power. Didn't we
learn powers in junior high school math? Or was it elementary. I don't
remember. All I remember was that back then, you were here. With me. Beside
me.
I didn't cry when you left. I didn't answer the phone when you called. I
never opened the envelopes when you wrote. Those letters sit on my dresser.
Begging to be opened. I won't touch them.
You tried to say good-bye. You wanted to explain. I didn't want to hear
it. I let you go, ignored the look of hurt on your face. I pretended I didn't
care. I've been doing a lot of pretending. Am I pretending right now? Maybe.
I think I'm pretending that this isn't your grave I'm standing over. I am
pretending that it's not your lifeless body lying under this patch of earth.
You died two weeks after you came back here. It was an accident. I'm sure
that driver hadn't meant to hit you. He just didn't see you. I know you
hadn't meant to be in the middle of that street at that very moment. I didn't
go to your funeral, even though they said it would be good for me. Say your
last good-byes, they said. Screw them. I'm not saying good-bye. I didn't the
first time, I won't this time.
Shouldn't I have listened to you when you told me I'd regret it? When you
told me I'd regret not speaking to you?
Maybe you shouldn't have slept with her. Maybe you should have ignored
the lust. It was wrong of you.
You're not dead. You can't be. You will return one day, and tell me again
how you don't love me anymore. How you want to be just friends. That you love
another. It will hurt just as much as it did the last time. Then you'll run
off with some slut, and leave me. Later, you'll come back and try to have me
again. It's a destructive pattern for which you're best known.
I'm very beautiful, you once said. I'm not so beautiful now, am I? Not
with the look of hatred staining my face.
Was it worth it, Max? Did she mean that much to you? Of course she did.
Remember when you told me that eating chocolate would cause me acne? It's
not true.
Remember when you told me that if I brushed my hair one hundred strokes
every night, it would all fall out? It didn't.
You loved to tease me about my vanity. You were cruel sometimes. They
were all myths.
Would it please you to know that I was on my way to see you the day you
died? I had just stepped out of the Crashdown, when that loud noise filled my
ears. You flew up into the air, landing on your head. Blood splattered my
clothes. You died in my arms. You won't remember this, Max, you were
unconscious.
I have to go now. I need to get home and sit by the phone. You are going
to call. You're not really dead. You'll call and say, "Isabel, I love you."
Just like you used to.
--End--