"Edward! Edward!" I shouted.
"Uh, yes miss?"
"Oh sorry, nothing at all, I was just practicing my Kristin Stewart acting skills. Do you think I look enough depressed?"
"Well, you probably should change the way that you…What am I doing?" he said.
"Of course what you're doing is your business but, uh, may I ask why you responded to me when I called out Edward? You are no book from what I can see."
"Does Robert Pattinson ring a bell? You know it's me, the guy who plays Edward?" so called Robert said.
"Huh, well, no. You're psycho, and I know because I was sent to a mental house when I was eight on a field trip with my parents They didn't except me, but anyways, I know people who are like you."
"Oh bloody hell," he said with his British accent, "don't you see? Okay wait," he pulls off his shirt.
I cover my eyes in the sight of pure ugliness, yes ew. "Oh that's just gross. The only guy who should ever take his shirt off is Robert Pattinson."
"Hell girl! I am him!"
"Oh no sorry the other guy from Twilight; hmm, what's his name? Laylor Tautner? No, Taylor Swift, no that's a girl… Taylor Lautner! Ha! Yeah he's all buff and stuff. Man, I can just picture Sharkboy right now. Ahh…" I said.
"I give up."
"No, wait! Edward, don't leave me to die and sit on the forest floor and have one of the non-phased werewolves save me!" I screamed.
"Mam, this is not New Moon."
"Oh I know, like I told you… I'm practicing my Kristin Stewart acting skills."
"Uh okay, can I ask why?"
"Well, you see I was hoping that if I act enough like Kristin Stewart, that Edward, I mean Robert would come."
"I am Robert for Christ sake! I give up."
"Okay, Mr.! Nice to meet you! Tell me if you ever find Robert Pattinson!"