Don't leave me alone
Disclaimer: I don't own Once Upon A Time
A/N: Hi! This is my very first fanfic and I really hope you like it. Once Upon A Time is a fantastic show and I'm particularly fond of Emma and Snow's relationship. Lately I've been kind of missing Mary Margaret and Emma's best friends/roommates moments, even though I love their mother/daughter dynamic. This story just wouldn't get out of my head and I'd love it if you took the time to leave me a review :)
"Hello?"
"Oh, Emma, thank God! I was so worried about you. Why didn't you answer my calls?"
Emma took a deep breath. In the midst of calling the ambulance, going to the hospital, hoping with all her heart that Graham would hear her calls and hang on to life, and trying not to break down every time someone asked her how the hell had a healthy man suddenly collapsed to the ground she decided to ignore the insistent buzz of her cellphone.
She knew Mary Margaret would be worried sick about her, considering the deep hours of the night she was surprised to find herself in. Yet, until this very moment she hadn't find the time or the courage within herself to face her best friend and tell her what had happened a few hours before. It would mean admitting Graham was gone, something that up to this point she had refused to do.
A few moments before, though, when she was alone in the waiting room waiting for she didn't know what, Dr. Whale came over and placed a hand on her shoulder. "The results of the autopsy should come sometime later this week. You should go home get some rest," he had said. It was then that her phone went off.
"Sorry," she answered to the anxious voice of her friend. "Something happened".
"What?"
"Graham." She realized her voice started to quiver. Trying to calm herself, but failing anyway, Emma continued "he just collapsed. I don't know what happened, Mary Margaret, he was just here and then…"
Her voice broke and she couldn't bring herself to finish the sentence.
"Emma, it's going to be okay. Listen, where are you?"
"Hospital." Her voice was just above a whisper.
"I'm going to pick you up, all right? Wait for me."
"You don't need to."
"I'm going to. See you in a few minutes".
With that she hung up the phone, leaving Emma alone with her thoughts. Dr. Whale had gone away as soon as she answered to the call, so Emma sunk into a chair at the desert waiting room.
The images of what had happened kept haunting her and in an attempt to distract her mind Emma started to pace. At some point she considered going all the way to the room they had taken Graham to, but shook the idea away as the lone thought of seeing his lifeless body was almost too painful to bear. What the hell was taking Mary Margaret so long? Emma was starting to get annoyed at her overprotection. She didn't have to come and didn't have to treat Emma like a child. Emma knew all too well how to take care of herself.
Lost in thoughts Emma didn't hear Mary Margaret enter the hospital until her name was called in a sweet yet worried voice. Startled she turned to the direction of the voice and was greeted by sympathetic eyes. Emma realized she must have been looking dreadful.
"You didn't have to come, I can drive myself back home".
"I know. But you sounded so off on the phone you got me worried".
"I'm fine".
"What happened to Graham? Where is he?" Mary Margaret asked as she approached Emma.
It must have been the look in Emma's eyes or yet the fact that she looked everywhere but at the brunette's, but Mary Margaret suddenly came to the realization about Graham.
"Oh my God, Emma," she touched Emma's arms lightly, "Is he… is he?"
"Yea."
Emma stepped away from Mary Margaret's touch.
"I'm fine," she repeated, tough she didn't really know if she was trying to convince Mary Margaret or herself. "Let's go".
Emma reluctantly accepted Mary Margaret's offer to drive them to the apartment with the intention of turning at the window and ignoring all of Mary Margaret's attempts to get her to talk. She didn't want to talk and didn't want to deal with the fact that Graham had just died in her arms right after they kissed. Not now, not ever. It hurt too much.
"Emma…"
Emma made no gesture to acknowledge that she had listened to Mary Margaret.
"I understand that you don't want to listen to me right now, but I think that if you talk to…"
"I don't want to talk." Emma cut her short.
"But I just…"
It was all too much for Emma at the moment. On the top of everything she had been through that day she didn't want to deal with Mary Margaret's attempt to work on her inability to discuss her emotions. Yes, she was aware her friend was only trying to help her, but right now all Emma wanted was to climb on her bed and try to forget everything. Alone. So, despite knowing that her anger shouldn't be directed at her roommate, Emma snapped.
"I'm. Not. Going. To. Talk. You know what happened, he's dead. He's not coming back. I can very well take care of myself, I always have, in case you haven't noticed." Emma took a few deep breaths, trying to stop the trembling in her voice.
"I'm sorry." Mary Margaret didn't seem hurt, so Emma took the opportunity to close her eyes and turn back to the window.
For the rest of the car drive an uncomfortable silence hung around them. When they reached the building Emma left the car and didn't wait for Mary Margaret, climbing the stairs two at a time. By the time her roommate arrived into the apartment Emma had grabbed the first pair of sweatpants and tank top she found and was getting into the bathroom.
"I'm going to take a shower." She said slamming the bathroom door behind her.
Immediately she felt guilty. Maybe slamming the door was too much considering it was Mary Margaret she was dealing with. The problem was, though, that Emma knew that talking to Mary Margaret in a civilized way was going to lead to letting her guard downs, and she couldn't do it because it would inevitably cause the break down she knew was coming but tried to avoid anyway.
It was only at the feeling of the shower's warm water and in the safety of the solitude that Emma allowed a few tears to fall.
After a few minutes, and feeling in control of her emotions, Emma decided she should probably apologize to Mary Margaret, but by the time she left the bathroom she realized the brunette was no longer in sight, the curtains around her bed closed. Emma was surprised at feeling disappointed that Mary Margaret had given up on her, but shook the thought away quickly.
Upon opening her room's door the first thing she noticed was a mug of hot chocolate with cinnamon resting on the bed stand. Approaching it, Emma saw a little piece of paper with a note written on Mary Margaret's handwriting. "If you need me you know where I am".
For some reason reading that little note brought tears to Emma's eyes, which she blinked away as she reached for the mug. Her hands were shaking but she tried to steady them as she relished the warmth of the chocolate. Running her eyes around the room Emma tried to find a distraction powerful enough to take her mind off the events of the day and hopefully allow her to sleep, but images of Dr. Whale hanging his head in defeat and saying there was nothing he could do kept assaulting her mind.
Emma thought of how she was going to go back to the station and face Graham's empty chair, knowing he was never going to return with his friendly smile and his terrible donuts jokes. Knowing that at that same place she had kissed him and he had thanked her for whatever reason she would never know and she had felt a happiness Emma hadn't experienced in so long she actually thought it would never be felt again. The same place where he fell to the ground and she tried every imaginable way to get him to wake up only to realize he wasn't going to.
Feeling nauseated Emma returned the mug to the bed stand and threw herself on the bed, burying her face in the pillow. Tears spilled from her eyes but she was too tired to wipe them off. And, no matter how hard she tried to fight them, the sobs came and they were painful as they rocked her body.
Emma was lying on her side, he back to the door. Mary Margaret could see how her body shook with the sobs and it made her heart break. She had never before seen Emma cry. She was used to the whole drinking away the pain and breaking objects, but that was the first time she was seeing her friend truly broken and, if she was being honest, she didn't really know how to handle it.
Emma wasn't one to talk through her feelings, even though Mary Margaret knew she trusted her enough to let her walls down ever so slightly from times to times. Mary slowly approached the bed and sat down beside Emma, placing her hand on her friend's shoulder. The sobs had stopped the moment Mary Margaret stepped into the room, but Emma immediately tensed and hid her head further in the pillow although she didn't really try to get away from Mary Margaret's touch.
"Emma," Mary Margaret tried again. No response came other than a sniffle. "I'm sorry if I'm bothering you, I just want to tell you something and I need you to listen to me, okay?"
Mary Margaret took Emma's silence as consent and continued, running her thumb on the top of Emma's arm.
"You, Emma Swan, are not alone anymore, you know that, right? Because I'm here for you and I'm going to be by your side through this. No matter what. You don't have to deal with it alone, and you don't have to pretend you're fine".
Mary Margaret heard Emma's hitched breathing and felt her friend's shoulders move rapidly with deep breaths, like she was on the verge of breaking down. Without second thoughts she used her free hand to move a strand of blond hair away from Emma's face, consciously leaving her hand on the top of her head for a few seconds longer, surprised that the blond didn't pull away.
They stayed in silence for a few minutes, Mary Margaret's hand still clung to Emma's shoulder. Soon Emma's breathing evened and she turned to face her friend. Mary Margaret shifted positions allowing Emma to turn fully around and as she rested her back against the headboard she took notice of Emma's features. It was both unsettling and heartbreaking to see her bloodshot eyes and tearstained cheeks.
"I'm sorry I snapped at you earlier," Emma whispered.
"It's perfectly fine. You were upset, I get it. I'm really sorry I kept pushing you to talk".
Emma tried a small smile in gratitude – that didn't reach her eyes, Mary Margaret noticed – and received a mirrored one in return. The long silence that followed the exchange made Mary Margaret conclude Emma would most likely want to be left alone.
"I better go to my room, then. If you need anything, anything at all, Emma, and I don't care if you think it's stupid, you come to me. And if I'm asleep you wake me up, all right?
"Okay, Mary Margaret. Don't worry about me, though."
Mary Margaret smiled at that.
"As if," she joked getting up and leaving the room.
I hope it's not too bad. I apologize for the several mistakes you probably found, English is not my native language. Corrections are appreciated. I'm finishing the second part of the story and will post it soon!