Ron Weasley's first plane ride
„Ron, it's not bad, really. It's fun!"
"I don't care. I won't step onto this weird flying thing and sit in there for several hours." 30.000 ft. above the ground! Do you know what could happen there? What if the pilot dies? What if a dragon decides to come and have a mid-morning snack?"
"Dragons don't fly that high. Besides planes are the safest means of transportation available to humankind."
"You mean to Muggles. But why do wizards and witches have to use it? We have portkeys, we have brooms, we have the floo network and – the best method – we just could use apparition!"
"I can't believe you! Didn't you read "The pros and cons of Muggle transportation and how to use it – a handy booklet for witches & wizards" by Rita Bode?"
"No, why would I? Wait, isn't Rita this girl who was married to the famous seeker Andrew Bode but cheated on her with Dilys Trimble?"
"Ronald! You are unbelievable! You'd rather read "Witch Weekly" than the books I give you? Remind me, why I married you?"
"Because of my good looks, my talent in bed, my hair and my ability to make you laugh when you're sad because you didn't reach your goal of reading 20 books a week?"
"Oh stop, you moron! Where were we? Okay. We cannot use the floo network because of obvious reasons: We are going to New Orleans and that's across the ocean. So, no connected fireplaces. Apparition can be ruled out, too, because it's extremely dangerous to appariate when the journey is so long. This leaves brooms and portkeys. We won't fly over the Atlantic with brooms. You know how much I hate them and it'd take us weeks to arrive in the States. Portkeys seem a good solution but you know that I'm pregnant. It isn't advisable for expecting women to use portkeys, you'd knew this if you'd read "The pregnant witch" by Wilda Li!"
"But…"
"No "buts" Ron! We are going to use a plane and that's it! If you insist on arguing with me you can stay at home but remember that I'm pregnant with your firstborn child and the healers said that the worst thing you can do to a pregnant woman is to make her unhappy!"
"Hermione. Just…Argh, bloody hell! I'll do it! I'll take this damn plane and sit in it for half a day just to make you happy!
Hermione and Ginny were sitting in a Muggle café in Mayfair and the former was telling her friend about how hard it had been for her to bring her husband round to take a plane.
Hermione laughed. "It was so funny, Ginny, how Ron, who always boasts of being "no sissy", quivered at the thought of using a plane. But – like always – I won. I mean, I had already booked the flight and so I had to persuade him!"
"And you did marvellously! Pity that I couldn't be there yesterday!"
"Definitely! The only thing bothering me is that I was not entirely fair. I think, I blackmailed him a bit with the whole "you'd make me unhappy"…"
"Come on, Hermione! All is fair in love and persuading-childish-husbands! And have you ever travelled a longer distance with a portkey? It's horrible! When Harry and I went to South Africa we thought that using a portkey would be faster. Yes it took us there very quickly –only about ten minutes – but it was hell! We were only used to short distance journeys via portkey and even those were not fun but ten minutes? Never ever! That's why we booked a flight for our journey back home."
"I guess you're right. I shouldn't worry much."
"That's the spirit girl!
Two weeks later
"Come on Ron. We are already too late and if you're staying a minute longer on the toilet we'll miss the plane!"
"I will be there in a second. I'm just, feeling sick. Must be the bloody coffee, I just drank. No wonder; who on his right mind would put gingerbread into coffee?"
Hermione couldn't see Ron because he was hiding on the toilet of a Starbucks shop where he went 20 minutes ago with the excuse of being sick after drinking the Gingerbread Latte and eating two croissants and three pain au chocolats. Hermione didn't believe that it was because of the food but because of the fact that he was going to board a plane in less than an hour.
Two weeks had passed since the day Ron agreed to fly and every day she had to persuade (and threaten) him not to chicken out.
Hermione couldn't believe how a grown-up man aged 25 who had seen and done so many dangerous things could possibly be afraid of such a mundane thing like flying.
"Ron, if you don't come out this instant I'll hex the door open, transform you into a weasel, put you into my bag and then you can stay there for the 12-hour-flight!"
Ron slowly opened the toilet door and looked hesitantly at his wife.
"That was a joke, wasn't it? You'd never do something like this to me."
"Don't tempt me. My patience is beginning to wear thin."
"All right, all right. I'm coming." He took a very deep breath and after earning a deathly glare from Hermione started going to the waiting area.
30 minutes later they were sitting on their places. Next to Ron was an elderly lady who smiled at them and introduced herself as "Dottie Hobbs" who was going to visit her daughter in New Orleans.
Dottie noticed Ron's uneasy smile and asked: "Oh, dear! Are you afraid of flying? You look very green in the face."
"It's my first time on a plane, ma'am. And I'm…not scared. Not at all. Just…excited."
"You don't look "just excited", young man. Ah, I remember the first time I was on a plane! I was a young lass of 18 and flew from London to Toronto where my older sister Ina lived with her husband. I was so afraid, that I threw up eight times during the flight. And it was a horrible flight; let me tell you, horrible it was! We were thousands of feet in the air when turbulences began. They were really bad. I thought we were going to die! Another time, I was flying to Rome on a business trip we almost had an air crash. If the pilots weren't successful in preventing it, my body would be somewhere in the snowy heights of the Alps now."
When the woman finished her speech Ron's complexion turned for the worse. Hermione only grinned and looked out of the window.
"Hermione, did you just hear what the lady told?" he whispered.
"I did. It's nothing. Maybe just exaggerations in order to make a scared person more uncomfortable than they already are. And now shut up and enjoy the flight."
"Enjoy? How should I enjoy this?"
"By not bothering me and watching a film or reading a book or sleeping or whatever you like. Just stop complaining. You are getting on my nerves!"
Ron did as she said and leaned back, closed his eyes and thought of nice things during the ascent. When the plane reached its cruising altitude and the flight attendants began with giving out food and drink, Ron was almost beginning to feel at ease.
Afterwards he decided to take a nap whilst Hermione was engrossed in her book (she was reading "Parenting of Magical Children" by Seanna Ledford but magically changed the cover to something more inconspicuous in order to avoid curious stares from the Muggles.
Hours later
"Ron! Ron! Wake up! We've landed."
Ron bolted up and looked groggily around. One moment he was dreaming of playing Quidditch on a sunny day and the other he was somewhere entirely else."
"What? Why? How could I land when I'm not sitting on a broom?"
"The plane, it has landed, you idiot! Get up!"
"Oh." He suddenly remembered where exactly he was and looked around. The plane was almost empty. Dottie had already left.
"Will you get up, Ronald?"
He stood up, took Hermione's hand and together they walked to the exit.
The flight attendants saw them off, wished them a nice stay in the States.
When they were through the customs and the controls they took a cab to their hotel.
On their way Hermione asked him: "That wasn't that bad, was it?"
"It was horrible!" He wasn't going to admit that the flight didn't really bother him – especially because he was asleep most of the time."
Hermione just laughed and shook her head.
"Be grateful that I hexed you to a deep slumber! If you had been awake you'd have witnessed the almost collision with another plane!"
"WHAAAAAAAT?"
I hope you enjoyed this little one-shot as much as I enjoyed writing it!
Reviews would make me really happy! ;)