Lina Inverse and the World of Cliché Wizardry
Opening Notes: OK, so this is either going to be amazing or a trainwreck. I'm going to do my best to ensure that it's the former moreso than the latter, but I make no promises. This is an idea spawned from the head of a friend of mine, a friend who possesses a mind I choose not to contemplate, lest I drive my sanity to the far reaches of this universe.
Anyway, so yes. This is a Slayers/Harry Potter crossover fanfiction. Again, I have no idea what kind of drugs inspired it, but I assure you that my undertaking this project is only a result of my lack of resistance to constant IM prodding.
Yes, I am weak.
My standard practice with fanfiction is one of two things, make a story that can fit within the canon (i.e. my Bleach Potluck story or the ill-fated original character Bleach story which may be updated someday but probably won't be), or do something so patently absurd that I don't even mind blowing canon out of the water (i.e. my Natural 20 story, which is in severe need of a rewrite anyway).
Obviously, this story will be in the latter of the two categories. I am taking complete liberties with the Harry Potter continuity, to a point where canon (and the giant squid) will be blown clean out of the water. And for those who care, I'm going to be gutting events from the 5th book. And gutting them good, let me tell you.
You have been warned.
And now, let us begin.
Chapter 1: Never Trust a Mazoku to Know What He's Doing. Or Talking About.
"Xellos!"
A very much enraged Lina Inverse ran vainly after the swiftly floating man, her red hair and cloak billowing in the breeze. Around her were the quickly condensing walls of a cavern, daylight streaming in through the quickly vanishing entrance she had entered not too long before.
"Damn it, come back here!"
Lagging somewhat behind the sprightly young sorceress was her constant traveling companion, the blond and jellyfish-brained Gourry Gabriev.
"Lina!" he whined. "I'm hungry!"
Lina groaned and kept running. As she groaned, her stomach answered with its own complaints.
After the defeat of Phibrizzo in an almost (quite literally) cataclysmic battle, Lina decided that she deserved something she had been denied for quite some time.
Lina, with her traveling companions the aforementioned Gourry Gabriev, Zelgadis Greywods, and Amelia Wil Tesla Seyruun returned to the kitchen of the great cook Ashford, who was nearing completion of the much-desired Dragon Cuisine they had labored so hard to obtain the ingredients for.
However, this happy and much-awaited dish was not to be as they arrived just in time to see Xellos fleeing (or rather, floating) from the scene, several large pieces of dragon corpse on his person.
This was how Lina found herself and her companions in hot pursuit of the trickster-priest, her companions lagging behind her with varying levels of enthusiasm.
As Lina entered the cave, she knew immediately that this was no minor trick. Xellos was, as usual, up to something. Were she not so hungry, she may have even cared what he was up to. But in her current state, there was but one option, and that was to catch the mazoku and wring his scrawny little neck until he surrendered the goods.
Xellos, floating just ahead and moving only slightly faster than her, was in a reclined position with the hunks of savory dragon meat floating just above his outstretched palm.
"You're so slow, Lina-san!" he called cheerfully. "I could have eaten this all by myself hours ago and you wouldn't have been able to do a…"
He trailed off and ducked his head down as a fireball went wizzing past his head, where his nose had been located just moments before.
"Good shot!" he complimented.
"RAYWING!" Lina shouted, her voice echoing in shrill fury.
A powerful gust of wind lifted her and the rest of the group into the air and sent them spinning through the tunnels (quite literally, in the case of the hapless Gourry).
Xellos deftly wound his way through as the tunnels grew narrower and more twisting. Moving left and right, he took them through a massive maze of interconnected tunnels, ducking and bobbing the occasional fireball whenever Lina's anger boiled over into murderous rage.
After what must have been hours, he suddenly came to a stop within a huge room buried deep underground.
Lina and the others followed soon after. Seeing Xellos floating lazily above them, Lina, without thinking, dismissed her spell.
The next few moments were some of the more painful moments Lina had ever experienced as the four of them tumbled into the air and began rolling along the ground, before slamming into a wall and ending in a pile of bodies. As luck (or perhaps Karma) would have it, Lina managed to land on the bottom of the pile, with the heavy stone body of Zelgadis nearly crushing her ribs. Gourry landed on top of Zel in a heap of blond hair and armor while Amelia, through quick use of her own magic, managed to land lightly on top of Gourry's back.
After several moments of furious shuffling (in which Lina screamed just about every insult and profanity she could think of at her companions), they finally managed to assemble into something of a line, facing Xellos.
"Welcome, Lina Inverse," he said, executing a mocking bow in midair. "I've been expecting you."
Smiling, Xellos raised his hand as a flaming arrow shot straight at his face. The arrow impacted with his palm and shattered into sparking embers that slowly floated to the ground, before extinguishing themselves.
Growling in frustration, Lina glanced swiftly around the room.
The room was well-lit, with torches lining the walls. Lina could feel a bit of magic about them, as if the torches were enchanted to never be extinguished. However, what most caught Lina's eye was a large pedestal in the center of the room, upon which sat a huge stone archway.
"What do you want, Xellos?" Lina growled, glaring at his smiling figure with hate-filled eyes.
Xellos laughed.
"Why Lina-san, I only require a touch of aid. There is no need to glare at me with such a venomous expression!"
Almost as if used to it, Xellos lazily floated out of the way of a large fireball, which exploded above the doorway they had entered from, blasting a large hole in the wall and causing several chunks of masonry to fall, partially blocking the door.
"My my, so temperamental," Xellos said.
"Give me back my dragon!" Lina shouted, her voice rising several octaves. "It's MINE!"
"I would be happy to return your soon-to-be meal," Xellos said, "I just need a bit of your power. You see, this gateway here leads to the Astral Plane and acts as a beacon. I simply need it charged."
Lina's eyes narrowed.
"And what exactly are you calling?" she asked archly, folding her arms over her chest.
"Oh, a bit of this, a bit of that," Xellos said evasively.
Lina glared.
"I… oh fine. If you must know, it's my… little… brother…" Xellos said, trailing off into a mumble.
"Your… what?" Lina asked, not quite believing what she'd heard.
Xellos sighed. "My little brother. Small, destructive black cyclone of mazoku death, you can't miss him the family resemblance is uncanny. Anyway, he's been learning to be a proper mazoku from Lord Ruby-Eyes, and Beastmaster wants him home to continue with some private training, so I need to get him back. Which requires a gate. Which requires a beacon. Which requires the Dragon Slave."
Lina's eyes narrowed.
"Wait, don't all you mazoku hate each other or something?" she asked archly.
"Well, sort of. But we're still CIVIL about it," Xellos said, a bit miffed. "I mean, sure officially Beastmaster feels Ruby-Eyes and just about every other powerful mazoku out there are weak pretenders to the throne, but he's really quite the pleasant conversationalist once you get to know him, and he makes an absolutely fantastic mincemeat pie. Well, humanmeat pie. But you get the idea."
"I can't believe I'm hearing this," Lina said.
"Hey, Lina," Zelgadis said, his eyes narrowing. "Do you really trust him? I mean, he's said some pretty weird stuff, but this?"
"Yeah!" Amelia chimed in. "He could be trying to invade with a whole army of mazoku!"
Lina rolled her eyes. "Are you guys sleeping? That portal's really limited. I doubt one large mazoku could even fit through it, much less an army. If opening it up will get him to leave me alone and give me back my dragon, I'm more than happy to do it."
"That's the spirit, Lina-san!" Xellos said happily. "Now, please, direct your spell through the portal, you must fire it through the precise center in order to send the appropriate summons."
"Yeah yeah yeah, I know," Lina said with a dismissive wave of her hand. "Just stand back and let me get this over with."
Knowing full well what was to come, everyone (including Xellos) gathered in a tight cluster behind Lina. Sighing, Lina closed her eyes, her voice deepening and a glowing ball of energy forming in her hands as she began to incant the spell.
"Darkness beyond twilight, crimson beyond blood that flows, buried in the flow of time is where your power grows. I pledge myself to conquer all the foes who stand in front of this mighty gift bestowed in my unworthy hand. Let the fools who stand before us be destroyed by the power you and I possess. Dragon Slave!
The spell shot forth from her hands, engulfing the center of archway but not passing through.
"You've done it!" Xellos said happily.
His joy, however, was short-lived, as something that somehow nobody was expecting happened.
The portal exploded.
Closing Notes: So, I had had some kind of idea of making this at least somewhat serious later on in the story. I think any opportunity of that is going out the window. Well, I'll probably get a few more chapters out at any rate. Drop me a line and tell me what you think.