A/N: Hello, minna-san...Watashi wa Cleisthen steve desu...Yoroshiku...This is my second fic and my first fic in this fandom...It's the fisrt time i write story in english, so sorry if thr are many grammar mistake...enjoy the fic...I hope you like it...
Summary:Fuji loves Tezuka, but he is too late.
Disclaimer: Prince of Tennis belongs to Takeshi Konomi-sensei, while Secret of My Heart belongs to Mai Kuraki.
Pairing: Perfect pair, TezuxOC
Warning:OOC, boring, grammar mistakes, etc...
SECRET OF MY HEART
If I were to change the words I say to you, do you suppose they would reach you?
Since that time, many seasons have passed
But even though I always smiled at your side
There is still one thing I can't say
I was standing here, under a tree far enough from that guy. I couldn't help but watched him with that girl sat on the park's bench ate ice cream together. He smiled the smile I never saw before. He looked really happy. I only curled my lip upwards. I was happy to see him like that. I was happy to know that finally he found a perfect girl for himself, but deep inside my heart, my feeling was aching, crying.
-xXx- Flashback –xXx-
"Fuji, do you like the ice cream?" Tezuka asked me while looking at me.
I let out a chuckle and said, "Off course, Buchou. You seem enjoy your ice cream too."
"?"
"Look! The ice cream is under your lips. Let me clean it for you, Buchou!" I smiled to him and took out a tissue from my pocket. Slowly I wiped the ice cream from his lower lip. Surprisingly, I catch his eyes on me. He stared at my eyes and I stared back at him. It happened for some minutes until finally he blinked and looked away from me. I could see him blushed that time so that I chuckled.
"Nee Tezuka, I want to tell you something, but look at me, please." Tezuka shifted his sight at me. He looked at me with full attention.
"Tezuka, I love you."
"Don't make a joke like that, Fuji. That's not funny!" I could see red tint decorated Tezuka's perfect face.
"I'm not kidding, Tezuka. I love you. I love you as my best friend." Tezuka sighed. Maybe he felt relieved. Then, I let out other chuckle.
-xXx- End Flashback –xXx-
That old memory played in my head again. That was an old sweet memory, but that also a bitter memory. A slight of regretful penetrate my heart. Yeah, I'm regret. Why did I tell a lie that time? Why couldn't I tell him the truth? The truth I love him more than a friend. I want him to be my lover because I love him in a romantic way.
Secret of my Heart, I have no doubt
If there will ever be a little bit of tomorrow
The truth ought to be placed in our hands
I can't say, just a little more
I'm waiting for a chance
Finally I couldn't hold it any longer. I let this regret filled me up. As I stared at his smiling face once again the jealousy dissolved with my regret. I couldn't evade it even just a little. I bit my lower lip just to prevented my tears flowed freely across my cheeks.
I looked at the girl that sat beside Tezuka. She was a beautiful young girl with a long black hair. She had an angelic smile. She looked suitable with Tezuka. But still, I felt jealous.
I should've told him since the start about what I really felt of him. I thought deeper and realized that there was no need to regret. It just happened. Regret wouldn't bring Tezuka to me. Regret wouldn't make Tezuka love me. Regret wouldn't change the truth in this time. But, I believe there was something that could change it.
My will. Yes, I'll change it with my will. I would tell him about the truth. The truth I love him. The truth I want him to become my lover.
What I need was a chance. Only a chance so that I could tell him everything. I would wait. Wait, wait, and wait till the chance came.
In this peaceful time, I want to connect a little more
I'm afraid to show you my soul
For a while, I walk apart from you, but why is it that your face
Looks about to break? I want to protect you, I want to be close to you
Looking at you like that, made me wanted to approach you. I just want to stay with you. I wanted to be connected with our heart. I wanted to know what you really felt toward me. I wanted t connect a little more.
I knew if I approached you, I would disturb you. Also, I was afraid if he realized that I kept my eyes on him. I started moving, walked away, and left the tree that shielded me from Tezuka's sight. I was leaving to search a chance.
"FUJI...!" I heard someone called my name. That voice was a very familiar voice. I stopped walking and turned my body to face the owner of the voice. It was Tezuka. Tezuka called me, but for what?
He gave a gesture and asked me to join him with that girl. I smiled and slowly walked to approach the two.
"Fuji, will you stay with us for awhile? I'm sure it'll be fun," Tezuka spoke with passion.
I looked at the long haired girl for a second and quickly looked back at the certain buchou.
"Maa, Tezuka, I can't stay. I have to help Neesan," I answered with my usual smiling face,
"Ah, I see. Maybe you can join us other chance."
"Maybe. Well, so sorry, but I really have to go now." I turned my body and started to walk again. Before I reached the fifth step, I turned my body again and looked at Tezuka. "Hey, you two make a cute couple." I said that. I couldn't believe it, but I really had said that.
I walked again, left the two. A big question mark filled my head. I was confused with what I see after I said that. I was confused with Tezuka's expression after he heard what I said. It seems that he was broken. It was sorrowful expression.
Saw you like that, made me want to stay longer. I wanted to be with you, comforting you so that you would never made an expression like that. But I couldn't. I should leave. I knew, if I stayed a little longer, my heart would broken even more.
Secret of my Heart, you understand, right?
Everyone feels like they want to escape sometimes
But if that's all we do, then nothing can begin
I can't say, but surely, absolutely
I'm calling for a chance
I was end up in a bridge. It was far enough from the park and I was sure that Tezuka would catch me here and realize that I was lying. I didn't want him to see me right now.
I looked down on the river that was flowing under the bridge. I found my image there. It looked like an image of broken person. Yeah, I was really broken and I was very sure that the broken faced image on the river surface was me.
I wanted to run from my feeling for Tezuka. That feeling was torturing me enough. I wanted to run, escape from the truth. But, if I did that I would regret even more in the future. So, that what I decide, I would wait for the chance so that I could tell him that I love him. Really love him more than everything.
I wanted to wait. I would wait a little longer. I felt my heart aching. I didn't know why, but it seems that I couldn't wait even just a minute.
Yes, I wouldn't wait for the chance. I would make the chance myself.
I had decided. Then, I ran as fast as I could to the place Tezuka stayed right now. The park.
Can I tell the truth?
These words I cannot speak hover around my lips
Feel in my Heart, I just can't hide any more than this,
'Cause I love you...
I still ran until I caught Tezuka's image still sitting on the same bench as before. I stopped in front of him and felt my heavy breath.
"Fuji, so you decide to join us?" Tezuka said.
I didn't answer him. I just grabbed his hand and pulled it, forced him to follow me. Even I didn't bother to see his expression when I did that.
Odd. I was feeling odd. I wondered why did Tezuka didn't protest with what I did. He just followed me. I thought it was far enough from the place where the long black haired girl stayed, so, I stopped.
"Fu-fuji, why did you d that?"
I looked at the ground. I was sure my bang covered my face.
"Cause I love you..." I managed to say the truth and that was what i can say. I didn't see, but I was sure enough that Tezuka face was full of surprise.
"I-I know. You've told me before."
"Tezuka, you don't understand."
"What do you mean? Don't fooling around or i'll make you run for laps now." He said with his high itched voice. It seems that he was confused now.
I will be with you
Wherever you are
Can you feel my Heart?
Can you feel my Heart?
Silence. I had not answer Tezuka's question while he just stayed silent waiting for my answer.
"Tezuka, I love you. Not as my best friend," I said as I still looked down at the ground because I didn't dare enough to see Tezuka's expression. I was afraid if he rejected me.
"Tezuka, I love you as a man. I love in romantic way," I tried not to shake but, I couldn't. My vice was shaking, and my body was trembling. I clenched my fist, bit my lower lip, and tried not to cry. While, Tezuka just stay silent.
"Tezuka, can you feel what I feel for you?"
No answer.
"Can you feel my heart?"
No answer.
"Tezuka, I'll love you forever, wherever you are."
Can't you see you're my Dream? I can't bear to lose
This precious time I have spent with you
When you feel ready to give up, just believe
I just wanna say, I'm not lost anymore
Tezuka still stayed silent without gave response for every word flowing from my mouth. I felt something flow in my cheeks. Tears. I was crying. I just let myself cried, because I couldn't hold my feeling any longer.
I hoped Tezuka would say something. I didn't care what he would say. I didn't care if he rejected me. I didn't care if he mad at me. I just wanted him to say something.
"Tezuka, every time I stay with you, my happiness reached to of my head. You are my dream, you're my everything. Can you see it? Can you understand my feeling?"
Still, he didn't give any response. I started too worried. I didn't know what to do, even I didn't know what to say. I lost my words. Should I give up? No, I wouldn't lose. I had made the chance, so I should use it as well as I can. I wouldn't give up. I wouldn't lose. I would get Tezuka's heart. I believe it.
Can't you see you're my Dream? There will come a day
When all the lies will easily be broken apart
And yet, things will never change
Secret of my Heart, Our future is forever...
"Tezuka, do you understand my feeling? I love you. Really love you. I don't care even if you cheating on me, I'll love you. I'll always love you. Tezuka, please say something." I was still crying and I could hear my shaking voice.
I openned my eyes as I fell the warmth crawled in my body. I got surprise. Tezuka, he hugged me.
"Fuji, I love you too, but it's late for now. I can't stay by your side because I have someone else. But, I still love you and only you," finally he gave a response. It was a bitter sweet response.
I started to cry harder. I knew Tezuka's feeling toward me, but I still lose. I couldn't get him. I couldn't make him stay by my side because Tezuka is hers. I lose. Those words echoed in my brain again, again, and again.
OWARI
A/N: Thank you for reading...Don't forget to leave review, because your review make this poor author happy enough... ^^