[Slams face on table] I killed myself by writing this. I'm going to go think about what I did.

Enjoy!

You Have to Smile

"What am I supposed to do with all this sadness in my heart? What am I supposed to do with all these tears? It hurts so much, but I don't know what to do with all these emotions!" Hide begs to his mother.

Hide's mother smiles sadly at her blond son. The light in her eyes sparkled with unshed tears as her son was desperately searching for answers from her. He's so young-too young to understand the cycle of human life. Hide doesn't understand that people will come and go. He can't grasp the concept of why he can't make sweet snacks with his grandmother anymore. He is simply a little boy that wants to visit his friend but can't.

As Hide grows up, he will meet people who will become his friends, his enemies, the love of his life, his comrades, and the ones who he will have to watch leave this world. Hide's mother knows this, and wishes that Hide didn't have to learn the last part before everything else.

Yes, she knows her son will face many hardships in his life. Hide will experience many joys and pleasures. The blond is destined to do something with his life. Hide's mother doesn't want to think about what her son will have to do to get there, but she intends to be by Hide's side every step of the way. She wants to watch Hide discover what his purpose is.

Hide's mother closes her eyes and takes in a deep breath. She waits until she knows that her voice won't waver when she speaks. The woman's eyes remain closed until the dampness that lines her eye lids dry up. Her lips cannot quiver in the slightest. She needs to remain strong for her son. She needs to teach him his next lesson about life.

A lesson that teaches about how the people he's close too can't always be there. When they leave, it's them telling Hide that it is his turn to figure things out without them. It's Hide's time to grow up and gain his own wisdom and experiences so he can take over for those whom he lost. It will be Hide's turn to be the light of somebody's life. He will do what was once done for him.

A lesson that tells Hide to smile. Smile even when the pain is excruciating and it feels like he can't walk another step. Even when he doesn't understand why things happen the way they do, he must keep smiling. Even when the tears have already fallen, and his eyes are clamped shut, Hide shall smile as brightly as possible. Hide has to smile, because there's always good after the painful bad. It may take a lot of bad to get to the good, but it's coming, and when it does, Hide should smile a welcoming smile to those well-earned goods.

That is what it means to go through life-to get by. Hide will need to smile and laugh through the sobs. Smile until his last dying breath.

Hide will have to grieve the loss of his grandmother, that's to be expected. But he'll grieve with some smiles, because his grandmother would not want him to frown and cry. She would want him to smile and laugh at the memories of them. Otherwise the time they spent together would be all for nothing, wouldn't it?

Hide's mother opens her eyes and smiles at her son. He is still crying. Hide's brown orbs were highlighted by the ceiling light. The clock on the wall was ticking like a metronome. It feels like each tick of the hands grew louder.

"You let them out of course. Cry if you must. Scream if it'll make you feel better, but you need to remember to always smile." She said as calmly as she could.

"But it's not fair!" Hide whines. "She didn't deserve to go away! It was perfectly fine with her being here with us. This is where her home is!"

"Don't hold resentment in your heart, Hide. It makes life painful and monotonous. Bad things happen to those who don't deserve it, but those people makes the best of what their lives have to offer. Don't take people for granted." She said to the young child. Hide's mother found her right hand carding through Hide's golden locks.

"But-" Hide is about to argue so his mother cuts in.

"There is a trick to life, Hide, which many people refuse to acknowledge." She began. "The trick is to appreciate every single moment you are given with the people you love. Never assume that those people will be around long enough to hear your apologies. Sometimes even an hour can be too late. You have to dance to life's song, Hide."

"I have to smile?" Hide asks as he wipes a few tears from his cheek.

"Yes, dear. Smile as much as you can. Smile at everyone you see. Show the universe that you can overcome anything thrown at you." The woman grins.

"Even when it hurts?" Hide challenged. "Even when it's scary?"

The mother chuckles a bit.

"Yes." She brushes back a few strands of hair from her face and looks back at her son. Her eyes slightly widen at the sight of her blond boy.

Hide is struggling with himself. His face looked pained as he tried to force a smile on his tear stained face. The sight is enough to break the mother's heart.

"Like this mama?" Hide asks.

"Yes, Hide, exactly like that." She smiles back at him and leans down to hug Hide.

She knows she's being a bit selfish by asking this of Hide, but this will help him in the long run.

Two months have come and went since the conversation Hide and his mother had. Since then, Hide met a shy boy named, Kaneki Ken. The raven haired boy and the blond, though polar opposites, became very close. As time went on, the two were inseparable, even in college.

Then something happened that caused the two to drift apart for a very long time. It was weird and unsettling to see them without the other. Since the fallout, Hide rarely visited his mother anymore. She never heard about Kaneki when Hide did stop by for a visit. It was obvious that Hide suffered from the loss of his best friend, but the blond has perfected his smile over the years.

When Hide joined the CCG, the last thing Hide told his mother about was a cafe he and Kaneki used to go to. Anteiku was what Hide called the place. The mother knew Hide was going to meet Kaneki there. She could just feel it. Sadly, Anteiku is the last place the mother knows anything about the boys' whereabouts. She doesn't know if Hide even made it to the cafe. The day Hide walked out of his mother's house was the day she lost all contact with her son.

The calls never came. Hide didn't come to visit. Letters and postcards that Hide sent from time to time stopped coming. As hard as she tried, the woman couldn't get any information about her son. Hide's mother bit her tongue to refrain herself from voicing out her suspicions. But even without the official records from the CCG, the mother knew that whatever happened between Hide and Kaneki at Anteiku, Hide was smiling his brightest.

And she was right.