Disclaimer—I don't own the characters of NCIS. Damn

Her entire life Ziva David had very rarely lost command of her emotions. Since she'd come to NCIS she'd lost control more times than she cared to admit. There were times when she felt like everything was speeding out of control, and before she could pull it back in it was already too late. Falling in love with Tony had been like that.

It had started gradually, feelings building and growing. She had never felt anything quite so strong in her life, and it wasn't long before it was completely out of her hands. Not even her Mossad training could save her from tumbling over the edge and headlong into love.

Once she came to grips with it, she resolved that she wouldn't tell him. In her mind, it was the one way that she could keep things in her hands. This way she could keep an iron grip on her control. Anyway, she knew there was no way he could ever feel the same about her. They were partners, nothing more; and as much as it hurt her to admit it, she knew it was simple reality.

Ziva's defenses could only hold out for so long. One slip and she would lose control again, and it would all come spilling out. She had no intention of slipping, but as the saying goes, the best laid plans of mice and men so oft go astray. One long night and one large bottle of tequila proved to lay all of her plans to waste.

It had been a long hard day and all Ziva wanted was to relax. After finally finding the killer of a Marine's ten year old daughter she'd listened to Tony talk up yet another one of his twenty-something girlfriends. At the end of the day she was tense and on edge. She wanted to go home and sink into a bath and maybe a bottle of wine or even something stronger; and that was exactly what she intended to do. In the moment, she completely forgot her promise to be at Abby's friend's gallery show.

She made her way home and after dropping her bag haphazardly on the kitchen table, she went immediately for the liquor. She wasn't a drinker by nature, but she kept a few bottles in her apartment for days just like this. She decided that tequila was just as good as anything and grabbed the bottle. She headed for the bathroom to run a bath. Realizing she was missing something, she went back to the kitchen for salt and a lime and returned to the bathroom, shedding her clothes as she went. Moments later she sank into the blissfully hot water, downed a shot and settled in to try and work out the tension.

"Abbs are you sure about this?" Tony asked, talking to the forensic specialist on his cell.

"Tony, I'm positive about this, she was supposed to be here two hours ago. Something could have happened to her."

He rolled his eyes, but kept climbing the staircase in Ziva's apartment. "Okay Abbs, I got it. I'll make sure she's okay."

"Call me Tony!"

He hung the phone up and shook his head as he reached her door. "Why she thinks Ziva can't take care of herself is beyond me." He knocked and waited. "Ziva. Ziva come on." He didn't receive any answer so he knocked harder. "Zee-Vah!"

Whatever he had expected, what he got when she threw open the door certainly wasn't what he'd expected. She was wrapped in a towel, her hair was soaking wet and she was pissed. "What?"

"Uh, Abby was worried, she wanted me to check on you. Are you…?" She effectively dismissed him as she turned on her heel and walked into the apartment. He hesitated for a moment before he decided Abby would never let up on him until he found out what was going on. Closing the door behind him, he followed her in. "Ziva, you okay?" he asked somewhat cautiously as he wondered at the trail of clothes leading from the kitchen.

"I am fine."

Tony looked at her carefully for a moment, took in the way she was swaying lightly and recognized the slight slur in her speech. "Ziva, are you drunk?"

"And what if I am Tony?"

He grinned. "Super Mossad agent Ziva David is drunk, this is too great." His laughter stopped abruptly as she turned. The towel she was wearing slipped, catching at her breasts, barely keeping her covered, and his mouth went dry.

She shook her soaking hair out of her face. "You can call Abby and tell her that I am fine and go back to your under-aged girlfriend."

"Ziva what…?"

"Tony please just go and let me be drunk in peace." She collapsed onto the couch. "Go!"

Tony was torn between doing exactly what she wanted for fear of getting his ass kicked and making sure she didn't get back in the tub and drown. Deciding on the latter since it wasn't likely she could kick his ass as drunk as she was, he walked over and sat down in the chair across from her. "See, I can't do that. Because if I leave here and you do yourself some kind of injury Abby will be after my ass; and she is the one person on the planet who could kill me and leave…"

"Absolutely no forensic evidence. Yes, I know." He was going to speak again but she steamrolled over him. "You drive me absolutely crazy, you know that?"

"Well."

She shook her head. "No, you really do! You are always running around with these girls who are barely out of college, even after Jeanne. You hide behind this macho attitude, pretending to be this playtoy…"

"Playboy."

"Whatever. You pretend to be this playboy when all of us can see that there's more to you. So you date these girls who are barely able to drive," she said, stumbling a bit over her words.

He gave a cry of protest. "Exaggeration!"

Ziva's eyes narrowed. "You are a fraud Tony. You hide behind all of this… stuff, and you are just a complete fraud." She sagged back against the cushions, tequila and exhaustion catching up with her. "But I suppose that is okay, because I am a fraud too."

"Ziva…"

Her eyelids were getting heavier by the second. "At least you are not in love with you're partner," she said drowsily.

It took a moment for what she had said to sink in, and by the time it did she was already asleep. Tony knew he should leave, he also knew he needed to talk to her when she sobered up. He called Abby to let her know everything was fine, then he settled in. He was awake for a long time, thinking about the confession Ziva had unintentionally made, and wondering.

Tony woke when the first rays of the morning sun and it took him a moment to remember where he was. He looked over to see Ziva still asleep on the couch. The towel she was wrapped in had fallen open to the thigh, leaving bare one leg that he'd never realized was so alluringly long. Her hair had dried in messy waves and with her guard down she was more beautiful than ever. He couldn't help but notice the way the sun filtering in through the window touched her skin and turned it to gold dust wherever it fell.

As he took her in he thought back on her confession from the night before. She was in love with her partner. Those were words he'd never expected to hear. But could it possibly mean…?

He was dragged from his thoughts when she stirred. Her eyes opened and immediately found him "Tony?" she asked, disoriented. "You did not leave."

"I wanted to make sure you were okay. How's your head?"

"It hurts a bit, but I've had worse."

Tony stood. "I'm sure. Even so you should take something." He disappeared for a moment and returned with a bottle of aspirin and her robe, handing them both to her.

"Thank you." She swallowed two pills dry then shrugged the robe on. When it was tied securely around the waist she let the towel drop to the floor.

For some reason the sight of that towel pooling around her feet made his pulse pound and his mouth go dry all over again. "Welcome." They both sat down at the table, feeling slightly awkward. "So you remember last night then?" he asked,

She nodded. "Yes, I remember everything."

"Then you…"

"Tony, can we please just let the subject drop?"

He shook his head. "I don't think we can, Ziva, not now that it's been said."

She stood and restlessly began to pace. "I never intended to say it, ever."

"Why not?" He stood to face her. "Why not?"

"I do not know." She threw her hands up. "Fear of rejection, fear that my feelings would not be returned. Fear of getting my heart broken again."

Tony reached out and grabbed her by the shoulders, forcing her to still. "I'm not going to die Ziva."

"See," she said almost hysterically. "After all that you have been told in the past eight hours and the first thing you address is your mortality! Is it any wonder I did not want to say anything?"

"Fine, you want me to address it? What if I tell you I'm just as big a fraud as you are?"

She shook her head. "Tony."

"No, listen to me. You know me , and you know I don't say what I'm about to say unless I mean it. I'm in love with you Ziva David. This isn't a luv ya or a love you or anything else. This is the real deal. I love you."

Ziva was absolutely shell shocked. She was still fuzzy from the booze the night before, and for the first time in her life she seemed completely unable to form an intelligent sentence. With her ability to speak momentarily suspended she did the next best thing; she slid silkily into his arms and brought her lips to his. Tony's hands traveled up to fist in her hair and she held on to him desperately. They both fought to further, taking the kiss deeper with every moment. When they finally pulled apart her body was quaking. He pulled her tight against him, holding her shaking against his chest. He felt a little unsteady himself, and was amazed either of them managed to stay upright.

After that kiss, there was no doubt as to the authenticity of either of their feelings. "You really," she marveled.

He nodded. "I really.. If I had guessed how you felt, I would have told you sooner."

"So all the girls…"

"Cheap replacements. I've wanted you since the first time I saw you, falling in love was just the incredibly unexpected icing on the cake."

She shook her head. "We should have said something sooner. We could have saved ourselves so much agony."

Tony grinned. "Oh I intend to make up for all of the agony with just as much ecstasy."

Ziva's smile was quick and wicked. "Your move," she told him.

"In a minute. First…" He bent and kissed her again with a sweetness that starkly contrasted the urgency of the first. "I love you."

"I love you too."

Still holding her, he backed them up, peppering kisses along her face and neck as they went. They disappeared into the bedroom where the early morning rays of surise filtered in and cast their light on them.

Note From The Author—Okay, so I think I may have gotten a little overly poetic in this one. Even so, I'm in love with it and the way it turned out. I hope you enjoyed it as well.