Kyou Kara Maou : The Trouble With Trolls

Summary: Wolfram's attempt to bypass Maou Wedding Curse with a small family ceremony, backfires when an uninvited relative arrives - the Troll Mother.

Disclaimer: I have no rights to Kyou Kara Maou, of course.

Comments: There's a lot of backup material for this story on my homepage link on my author's profile, including a full summary, illustrations, map, and geneology.

My KKM stories so far form one big story arc. If you're jumping in here in the middle … Wolfram's father Manfred has lately married his mother. Jointly with Manfred and Adelbert von Gratz, Yuuri and Wolfram are raising four children now. Weddings tend to bring one's embarrassing relatives out of the woodwork…

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Chapter 1 : A Small Family Affair

"You didn't invite Aldrich!?! Shinou's sake, Wolfram, he's your liege lord! And one of your closest relatives." Manfred von Bielenfeld, the spitting image of Wolfram, right down to his demonic green glare, faced off against his eldest son across the dining table. The subject of conversation, Lord Aldrich von Bielenfeld, current ruler of Bielenfeld, was Wolfram's second cousin, third cousin, and great-great-uncle, via Manfred, Cecilie, and Manfred again, respectively. "Invite him to the wedding immediately."

Wolfram matched Manfred glare for glare. "Chichiue, we're inviting only the immediate family. Our parents and brothers, the children, and Adelbert and Günter. And Gisela and Murata Ken. And Annissina and Grendel." His voice lost some authority as the guest list wandered further from 'immediate family', though his brother Gwendal could hardly attend without his wife and newborn son. Annissina wouldn't let him.

Twenty-one-year-old Yuuri snorted at Wolfram's use of the imperial 'we', but otherwise stuck to assisting their adopted baby Bertram as he smeared pureed supper all over himself. Wolfram hadn't consulted Yuuri at all. In fact, his plan didn't call for 'inviting' Yuuri's family. Yuuri was simply to go fetch them on March 31rst, giving them no time to pack – or shop – and have them back on hand for the April 1st wedding, one week away. Yuuri had been notified just moments before Manfred and the others at supper.

This was unfortunate. Two of the short list of guests, Murata Ken and Shibuya Shouri, had for some time been developing a theory regarding Maou Wedding Calamity syndrome. Wolfram had done a few of the right things – kept it small, planned to wear their normal male state function attire. But they could have warned him already that bringing anyone long distance, like from Earth, or scheduling anywhere near April Fool's Day, was asking for disaster. And although Murata wouldn't dare say it out loud, he suspected the greatest danger of all was sweet baby Bertram, presently sporting an all-over smooshed pumpkin glow.

Alas, Murata and Shouri were both on Earth, scheduled to get less than a day's warning of Wolfram's latest wedding plan.

"It'll be nice to see Uncle Shouri and Grandma Miko and Grandpa Shouma again, won't it, Bertram?" Yuuri crooned to his beautiful small son. "Who would you like to carry you at the wedding ceremony, sweetie?"

Bertram looked thoughtful, then squirted his little fists' load of pumpkin into Yuuri's face. "Chuu-wy!" he replied, emphatically, that being his current rendition of 'Chichiue' for Wolfram.

"Ah-ha-ha," replied Yuuri, wiping pumpkin off his face. "No, sweetie, Chichiue and Wimpue can't carry you during our wedding ceremony." Yuuri had long since given in to his husband and children calling him 'Wimpue'. "How about Greta? Or Adelbert could carry both you and Frieda? Yes, Papa Adelbert is very big, you'll have a good view."

Bertram blew bubbles of pumpkin on his lips. His glare gradually turned into an evil demon smile, surprisingly well developed for an infant. One could almost think the helpless innocent was up to something. Yuuri uneasily dismissed this thought, in ardent loyalty to his adored baby boy.

"I will carry Bertram," growled Manfred. Bertram was his biological son, given to Wolfram and Yuuri to adopt. "Or Aldrich will," he added, glaring again at Wolfram. Wolfram glanced uneasily at his mother. Cecilie glared at Manfred, neatly closing the circle.

A green-liveried guard rushed in and gave a note to Gwendal, mercifully distracting them all. Gwendal read it quickly and passed it to Günter.

"Manfred, I think you'll get your wish, after all," said Gwendal.

"Yes, indeed," said Günter, as he finished reading the note. He handed it back to the guard, and said, "Please dispatch this with a courier immediately, to summon Lord Bielenfeld to Blood Pledge Castle." As the guard rushed off, he explained to Wolfram, "It seems the Troll Mother is coming to visit the day after tomorrow."

At this announcement, the table erupted in such a babble that it took Yuuri several tries to get a word in edgewise. Finally he plucked up Bertram, dripping pumpkin and spinach and all, and stood and banged on the table.

"HELLO?!? Could someone please tell me what's going on?" Yuuri demanded.

The children giggled. Günter glared at Cecilie. Wolfram crossed his arms, furious that his just-announced wedding plans were in jeopardy. The others looked thoughtful.

Professor Manfred sighed and answered, since apparently no one else was going to. "Yuuri, you do know about trolls. Don't you?" He glanced a question at Günter, the Maou's tutor.

"They're huge." Yuuri had learned that much on Earth. "They're a highly intelligent earth Mazoku beast." That much, he'd learned here.

Günter replied defensively to Manfred's unspoken question. "I was ordered not to teach my students about trolls by… a previous Maou. She seemed to think the von Krist have an issue with trolls. Aside from the obvious, that they are the most evil, diabolical, despiccable –"

"- The von Krist do have an issue with trolls," Cheri cut him off. "I didn't choose for my children to hear such 'teaching'."

"All Krist have an issue with trolls. Krist borders Trondheim, after all," offered Efram, Manfred's second son. Both his and Bertram's mothers were from Krist. He didn't appear to share the Krist troll phobia. He was too busy eating. Yuuri had been surprised to find that Mazoku children had growth spurts just like human children, just spaced farther apart. Adolescent Efram was suddenly only a few inches shorter than his father and Wolfram, and clearly destined to be taller than them.

Twitching, Yuuri said, "This really isn't clarifying anything. Although," he laughed shortly, "I must say I thought of trolls when I first met Teodor von Trondheim." Ted was huge, six and a half feet tall, two hundred fifty pounds or so, all muscle. Yuuri had meant this quip as a joke, but everyone frowned at him.

"Yes, of course Ted's part troll," said Manfred. "All the von Trondheims are. Likewise the von Gratz. And Aldrich."

"Ah – what?" said Yuuri. "Trolls can actually … breed … with Mazoku? I thought… Bielenfeld and Gratz were pure Mazoku," he finished lamely, noticing his toddler foster-daughter Frieda von Gratz look up from her supper at hearing her surname. Lovely little Frieda? Part troll?

Manfred gazed at him in wonder, as he often did, beholding the breathtaking breadth of Yuuri's ignorance. "We are pure Mazoku, Yuuri. Mazoku demons and the other Mazoku races are all Mazoku. Granted, not all Mazoku races can breed with demons. The egg-laying kinds aren't compatible…" Manfred's gaze drifted to Günter again, but Günter had hunkered down into a sulk.

Gwendal sighed. "Yuuri, we've invited Aldrich to come as translator and cultural liaison. It's what he was, um, born for. At the end of the Great Troll and Goblin War, Aldrich's father agreed to take a von Trondheim wife as part of the war settlement, and raise a son to act as a bridge to the rest of Shin Makoku society."

"But… Ted's already here," replied Yuuri, grasping one thread of this. Ted von Trondheim was garrison commander at Blood Pledge Castle – Gwendal's military right hand man. "Usually Adelbert is, too. I mean, I like Aldrich, but…" But I don't understand any of this.

The table seemed to enjoy a general sigh of having no idea where to start. Still distracted by yet another wedding getting upstaged, Wolfram said, "Yuuri, you can't trust the von Trondheim about trolls. They're on the trolls' side. And the von Gratz… If Adelbert could, he'd happily murder the Troll Mother."

Yuuri frowned, glad Adelbert wasn't home, in that case. "Well. What is the Troll Mother coming to talk about?"

Günter snorted rudely. "She didn't say."

"Well… who is she?"

Gwendal looked at him thoughtfully. "Now that is a very good question." He didn't supply an answer. "Ah – in the meantime, please don't discuss this with Ted von Trondheim."

In the end, Yuuri didn't discuss it much more with anyone. Somehow whatever people said, seemed to turn one question into two, four, eight, questions multiplying like rabbits instead of getting answered. He didn't recognize this was a symptom of people speaking from incompatible base assumptions.

He did try looking up 'Troll' in the Mazoku bestiary in the library. What it said amounted to 'large, highly intelligent earth Mazoku beast.' As with every entry, there was an involved majutsu technical cross-reference table, which Yuuri couldn't make heads or tails of, not having studied majutsu theory. The text neglected to mention that trolls could breed with people Mazoku. Leafing through the book, Yuuri noticed there were other people-shaped 'Mazoku beasts'. The book didn't say whether they could breed with people, either. He got totally distracted by this issue. The people he lived and worked with and loved – how many of them, like Frieda, were part… magical beast? Could Wolfram possibly be… part… what?

It's a pity Yuuri didn't think to look up the Great Troll and Goblin War, instead.

oOo

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