Title: Of Smoke and Ghost
Writer: Amariys
Words count: 1632 words
Fandom/Characters: K Project/Suou Mikoto, Totsuka Tatara, Anna and Kusanagi.
Pairing(s): Very slight MikoTata.
Disclaimer: K Project is not mine. No trademark infringement or profit meant from the writing of this story.
Rating: T for a kiss.
Summary: A ghost is only there because someone wants to see it. This story is about a strange conversation within a room filled with swirling smoke.
Warnings: self-edited.
A/N: So, I've just read K – Memory of Red chapter 13 today and there's Totsuka in it and some of his words compelled me to write this story. This is my first K Project fanfic, so I apologize beforehand for any OOC you might find. This story is self-edited, written within two hours, so please pardon any mistakes you'll probably see. I hope you enjoy it.
"A ghost is only there because someone wants to see it."
Mikoto slowly opened his eyes. He had once again fallen asleep on the couch. The muscle on his neck was tense and he didn't feel refreshed at all, but it didn't matter. He slowly turned his gaze to the man beside him—the man whose voice had disturbed him from his sleep.
"I guess you still remember what I said back then. Good morning, King." Totsuka Tatara greeted with the eternal smile on his face. He was watching the king as if it was the most interesting thing to do in the whole world, eyes alight with pure pleasure.
"…" Mikoto didn't return the greeting. He straightened up on the couch, red eyes taking in the details of the young man beside him without words.
Totsuka raised an inquiring brow. "Is there something wrong?"
"… Why are you here?" Mikoto sometimes wondered if he was slowly going insane. Perhaps Totsuka had been messing with his head one too many times back then and now his presence was firmly ingrained in Mikoto's head that he could still see the other clearly—even days after his death.
"Why, you ask." Totsuka chuckled as if Mikoto's question was truly amusing. He leaned his back against the couch, stretching his arms high above his head before tilting his head back towards Mikoto. Those red eyes were still watching him intently, as if they were afraid he would disappear if they strayed even just for one second. The thought made Totsuka chuckle again. His king wouldn't really care if he actually disappeared. "I've told you, right? Back when we were going to the beach after Anna-chan broke my camera. A ghost is only there because someone wants to see it. So, if I'm here right now, it's because you want to see me."
The smile on the king's vassal's face turned sad. "Looks like what I've said is even truer than I thought it'd be."
Mikoto didn't say anything for a long while. After a moment, Totsuka's smile had returned to normal and he was grinning at the other. It was strained though, and Mikoto could see right through it easily. Totsuka always wore a smile on his face, but it was easy to read his true feelings once you had known him long enough—and Mikoto knew Totsuka inside and out. The Red King sighed softly before taking out a pack of cigarette from his pants pocket. He lit it up easily and took deep drag of the poisonous smoke. The silence between them was still unbroken, until he breathed out the smoke, letting it danced on the air before dissipating.
"Did you really linger?"
"Hmm?" Totsuka lifted his head, confusion once showing on his face before he came to a realization. "Ah, that. Ha ha, I've told you, the dead person has no influence whether to linger or not. So, even if I really want to stay here, I won't be able to do that. My existence can only be created when someone wished to see me."
"That doesn't make you any different with a figment of my imagination then."
"I guess you're right," Totsuka hummed in thought, putting a finger on his chin as he contemplated it. "Then again, I always believe ghosts are just imaginary thing. So, there's nothing wrong with it, right?"
Another laughter filled Mikoto's ears. Totsuka didn't change at all. Even after his death, he was still the cheerful, light-hearted person who never took things too seriously. Despite that though, Mikoto knew there was some bitterness buried deep in the other's chest. Bitterness born from sadness. The King puffed out another long string of smoke. The smell of cigarette thickening in the room.
"What does it feel like, to be dead?"
There was no instant answer coming from Totsuka. Not even the weird ones Mikoto had thought he would say. Instead, Totsuka bowed his head. Mikoto couldn't see his face clearly that way, but the faint smile still graced his face, like always. The silence hung heavy in the room and Mikoto turned his gaze away from Totsuka, opting to watch the smoke slowly made its way up to the ceiling instead. He wondered if he had gone too far. He wondered if dead and loneliness had changed the Totsuka he knew. Then again, wasn't he just imagining all of this conversation? It felt strangely too real.
When a minute went on without any sound from Totsuka, Mikoto slowly lifted his head and, almost hesitantly, ruffled the other's head. He had expected his hand would go through Totsuka's body (after all, ghosts were supposed to be untouchable), but he could feel the silky strands slipping between his fingers. So he gave a few shakes, messing Totsuka's hair up, before retreating his hand. He didn't know if it worked, but at least he had made an effort.
"King, you really need to learn how to comfort others better. Perhaps Kusanagi-san could help you with that." Totsuka joked lightly, his voice just a little bit shaky. When he only received silence as a response, he chuckled again. "Ah, you really haven't changed at all." He heaved a deep breath before lifting his head up. His eyes gazing without seeing at the ceiling as he thought up an answer. "Being dead is … different than what I'd thought. I feel lighter, like there's nothing to bond me to the Earth. Like there's no gravity around me. It's refreshing in a sense, but at the same time, it's lonely. I was used to the ruckus you guys always made so it's … weird to be alone all of the sudden."
From the corner of his eyes, Mikoto closely watched Totsuka as he answered. The other didn't seem too sad, but his eyes weren't as bright as they used to be. Unconsciously, Mikoto gritted his teeth, a sudden anger erupting inside of him. He swore he would catch the bastard who had killed Totsuka, even if it was the last thing he'd do.
"There's no need to be angry on my behalf, King."
Totsuka's soft spoken words drew Mikoto's attention. He turned his head towards the other, silently urging him to continue. Totsuka did so with a gentle smile on his face. "You and all the Homra members … you all have been searching for the one who killed me so recklessly. I appreciate that, truly, but there's no need to go that far for me. I love you guys. I don't want any of you to be involved in problem because of me. I especially don't want you to force yourself."
Mikoto's lips curled into a lazy smirk. "I know my own limit."
"Yes, but you won't give a damn about it," still smiling gently, Totsuka took the cigarette away from Mikoto's lips, his eyes watching as those red flesh slowly opened up to allow it. He then put the still-lit cigarette onto the astray, letting it slowly eating itself into ashes. "I may be lonely right now, but I can endure it. So please, don't be hasty, King."
Before Mikoto could form any answer, Totsuka had already pressed their lips together. It was cold and feather-light. It didn't feel real at all, but still it brought up familiar warmth within Mikoto. The kiss was broken too soon, too fast, and then Totsuka was smiling brightly at him. He then made the familiar gesture of framing with his hands, using Mikoto as its main focus. He made a fake sound of camera clicking, smiling so brightly Mikoto's heart clenched as he saw it.
"Click. Now I'm adding another memory with my heart's shutter. Until we meet again, King."
Just like that, Totsuka's body suddenly became transparent before, like the smoke from the cigarette, he dissipated without a trance. Mikoto could only watch in stunned silence, unconsciously reaching out with his hands as if he could make Totsuka stay just by holding him close. His hands could only grab at air though and his heart then started to throb painfully. Mikoto closed his eyes, teeth gritted as he once again lost his vassal.
xXXx
"—koto. Mikoto."
Small hands shook the king awake. He opened his eyes only to see Anna's face being so close to his. He didn't even bat an eye, simply staring back at the little girl. "… What is it, Anna?"
"Mikoto, you were sleeping with deep crease between your brows. I thought you had a nightmare," Anna touched the area between her own brows, just in case Mikoto didn't get what she mean. "So I came to wake you up. Oh, and you left your cigarette burning on the ashtray again. It's dangerous."
The cigarette. The ashtray. Those words reminded Mikoto of the strange dream he had. He slowly sat up, eyes locking onto the cigarette that, indeed, was still burning on the ashtray. The gray smoke gently swirled up, up to the ceiling where it dissolved into nothingness. Just like Totsuka in his dream. Mikoto silently crushed the cigarette on the ashtray, putting an end on the meaningless swirl of smoke that filled the room. He then stood up, ignoring Anna who let out a small "Ah," in surprise.
"Where are you going, King?" Kusanagi asked from behind the bar counter as he watched Mikoto stroll out of the bar without words. As he expected though, Mikoto only ignored his question. The bartender sighed before leaning against the counter, his attention fixed on Anna as the girl watched Mikoto's retreating form with sad eyes.
"What is it, Anna? Do you think he really had a nightmare?"
"Yes," Anna answered softly. She closed her eyes as she made a praying gesture with her hands. "I think … Mikoto was seeing ghost."
—End.
A/N: I didn't give character dead warning beforehand because Totsuka actually died in canon. I hope it's alright. Thank you for reading this story.