Castiel opened his eyes to see Sam angrily speaking to Dean. He didn't like hearing them fight, but he waited through it. He had closed his eyes, doing his best to tune out and not to interfere.
"She was trying to talk." Sam said, not raising his voice, but speaking through clenched teeth. He continued, "Then you killed her." When Sam was upset about something, he'd be obsessive about it for at least a few hours, Castiel had noticed it in the past. Then everything would be okay.
"She was a monster, Sam. She killed those mothers!" Dean said, not bothering to spare any mercy to the ears of the people in the neighboring motel rooms. "Those kids lost their mothers!"
Sam took a deep breath through his nose, and grabbed the keys to the Impala, and began moving towards the door. Apparently it was a bad move. Dean started yelling again. "No, no, no! Sam, wait. Stop! Don't you dare!" Dean walked quickly out the door and slammed it, leaving Cas alone in front of the TV tuned to a channel that continuously showed Earth from space.
He got up and looked out the window at Dean standing defensively in front of Sam. Although Cas didn't like human arguments, they still fascinated him. As an angel of the Lord, he was raised to not know quarrels, to kill his way through the minor setbacks. Humans, on the other hand, had little fights about little things every day.
Castiel was still watching Dean, now snatching the car keys from Sam and heading towards the Impala, Sam following him at a distance. He could read human minds to an extent, and knew that they were heading for a bar. Alcohol must be a great problem-solver because Sam and Dean (and many other people) went to bars after fights.
Castiel turned off the television and wondered what he would do. He had no need to go to Heaven, and Dean would pray to him if he and his brother needed any help. Maybe he would check up on his vessel Jimmy Novak's family. He was their "guardian angel" in a way, promise-bound to watch over them, but he had done that a week ago, and surely they were okay.
His mind wandered back to Dean. Dean was a very close friend, but Castiel had contemplated Dean's childhood only several times in the past. Friend's new about their childhoods right? There wasn't much to Castiel's childhood, having been materialized by his Father, programmed to do what he was told without question and emotion.
He would visit Dean's life in the past, maybe to learn more. He would observe, a skill that he had practiced for thousands of years.
He willed himself to a hospital room, a loud, cold, and white hospital room. Nobody could see him. It was January 24, 1979. A woman with blonde hair was giving birth, screaming in pain. Her name was Mary. A name with significance.
Castiel tilted his head in amazement. He had witnessed many births, but not since he had started feeling emotions. He had never thought of it in the way he feeling now, filled with joy and wonder. He had merely witnessed it as an act of God, and nothing more. When Castiel heard Dean's first cries above his mother's, he almost reached out to touch him.
Emotions were an amazing thing, and he wanted nothing more than to feel them to the extent that a human did. He took in the scene before him and then decided to move forward a couple of years.
He now stood in the middle of a street and looked up to see dark clouds in the sky. He was in front of a house, the roof and windows of the upper floor blackened from a recent fire. He noticed Dean sitting on the sidewalk, surrounded by a few large cardboard boxes, holding what must have been Sam as an infant. Dean was watching him too.
"Who are you?" the young Dean said. Castiel remembered the first time Dean had met him and that he had said the same thing. He walked towards him.
"My name's Castiel. I'm an angel of the Lord." He had no reason to lie. Dean was currently four years old, and Castiel would be dismissed as an imaginary friend; completely forgotten as he got older.
"Angels aren't real. My daddy told me." Dean said. "Momma used to tell me they were, but she's dead now."
"Then how did I appear in the middle of the street?" Castiel challenged lightly. Dean appeared to be thinking hard. Castiel knew he was wary about talking to a stranger, but he didn't want him to go away.
"You're probably a ghost, I guess." Castiel didn't tell him who he was again.
"Why are you sitting on the sidewalk?" Cas asked. He sat down next to Dean. The infant Sam stirred awake, quietly looking at Castiel with the eyes of innocence. However, Castiel could see Sam's tainted blood, fresh with the essence of the yellow-eyed demon known as Azazel.
"I'm waiting for Dad to come back with a trailer. We're moving today." Dean said, pointing a thumb in the direction of the house.
"I see. Who's that?" Castiel said, motioning to Sam. He already knew who it was, but he wanted the opportunity to talk with the young Dean more.
"That's Sammy, my new baby brother. He's not a year old yet." He rocked the baby in his arms for a moment.
"What do you like to do, Dean?" He decided to use his name, despite not having asked for it yet. Dean's green eyes lit up with surprise.
"You know my name! Do ghosts, or angels I guess, know people's names?" Castiel nodded slowly. Dean continued. "Well, I guess I like to watch baseball and eat pie." Castiel smiled. Even though it was a tiny, barely detectable smile, it was still there. Castiel never smiled, but Dean, young and older, had made him smile on a few rare occasions.
"You're creepy. You stare at me like you're gonna kill me or something." Dean said, but he didn't look or feel alarmed or frightened of Castiel at all.
"That was my job. I was assigned to watch things. To watch Earth." Castiel said, looking back to the sky. The clouds that had seemed so ready to rain were going away, and the sun and blue sky were beginning to be visible.
"Was it your job to watch me?" Dean asked.
"No." It was all Castiel could say. Dean at the moment didn't know that he would grow up to do many amazing things, be a man of incredible courage, save people and hunt things. To be Castiel's best friend.
Castiel could sense that John Winchester was approaching. He stood up and looked back to Dean. "Goodbye, Dean. I'll see you again soon." Castiel made himself invisible, but did not leave yet.
John Winchester hopped out of the Impala, the same one that Dean owned in the present day, and began loading the boxes into the small, attached trailer.
"Dad! I met an angel!" Dean said with excitement, standing up.
John didn't stop loading boxes. "Angels don't exist. Get Sammy in the car." Dean obeyed without question. It reminded Cas of how he used to be, in a way.
He saw the Winchesters take one more look at the house before driving away, and Castiel moved forward in time once again, two weeks from the date the he had previously been at.
He was in a motel room, and looked to his right to see baby Sam lying on his back in a complimentary crib and Dean sitting on a dingy couch in front of the TV watching a cartoon.
"I like television." Castiel said, obviously startling Dean.
Dean jumped up. "I knew you were real! Dad told me that you weren't." Dean sat back down and fiddled with a small soldier toy in his hands. He looked like he wanted to say something. Castiel waited patiently.
"What's your name again?" Dean didn't look away from the toy.
Castiel wanted to laugh at Dean's forgetfulness. It was such a human thing. Angels never forgot. It was a curse in Castiel's eyes. "My name is Castiel."
"That's a stupid name. Can I call you Cas? It's easier." Dean said. Castiel smiled again. In some aspects, Dean never changed.
Castiel sat next to Dean and transfixed himself on the cartoon.
Castiel spoke. "How is that possible? The cat could not survive boiling water. Mice can't pick up a hammer." His eyebrows furrowed.
Dean laughed. "You don't watch cartoons much, do you?" Castiel shook his head, not replying in words.
After 38 minutes, there was the sound of the front door being unlocked. Dean looked to the door with worry. "Oh no! Zap yourself out of here Cas! I'll see you later!" When he looked back, Castiel had vanished again, leaving Dean looking around curiously.
Cas sent himself back to the present, satisfied with having witnessed Dean's birth and speaking to Dean's five-year-old self. He found himself sitting next to Dean once again on a motel couch. Dean was watching Busty Asian Beauties again.
Dean hadn't noticed him yet until Castiel said hello.
"Dammit, Casl! Again? How many times..." Dean shook his head and didn't speak any more, looking back to the TV. Castiel had seen Dean watching porn so many times before, that he didn't even bother to turn it off or cover it anymore, despite how awkward it sometimes got.
Dean broke the silence after a while. "I had a dream like this once, I think."
Castiel looked at him. "Us watching naked women together?"
"Uh, sort of. Us watching TV together." Dean noted that it was a good thing that Sam wasn't around. "What's so funny?" He noticed the almost invisible smile on Castiel's face.
Castiel knew that it was a buried memory, not a dream. "It's nothing—Wait, if she's in love with him, why would she say something so lewd?"
It was Dean's turn to smile.