Disclaimer: I sure as hell do not own Lord of the Rings or the name Tom Bombadil.
If you think that I do, you may be in a state of temporary insanity or a drug induced
stupor.
NOTE FROM AUTHOR:
Okay now, at the time that I was writing this story, I was under the influence
of percocet, a painkiller intended to numb the pain of my wisdom teeth being
removed. So.... Um, the story'll sound strange to say the least, lol. This is also
my first fan fic, and Im 17, so, heh, don't make me feel like a n00b, and enjoy it! Oh yeah,
the story takes place in another dimension, very close to ours, 10 years ago, it's kinda twisted, lol, so dont
think Im a hentai or anything, just trying to write!
Chapter 1: Tom Bombadillo, What a Damned Merry Fellow!
Our story starts with a pair of childen sitting in their livingroom,watching television,
and having a damn jolly time. Their names were Sally and Joseph, both of them very nice
children. They were watching their favorite television show: " Ghetto Booty Spectacular",
starring Jiggy the Ghetto Pimpsta'. Now dont get me wrong, the kids were great, but the
shows they watched were horrible, and they watched them because there was no children's television
programming! That's some twisted shit, I tell you what! Now, these kids didn't really like how
this was set up, no children's programming, so they went to their older, extremely nerdy brother for advice on how to get some help on this issue.
Joe walks into his brother's room first and sees his brother stooped over his keyboard, typing furiously. Joseph asks, "What are you doing Matt? Do you have some time to talk?" Matt looks up from the keyboard with a
twisted sneer on his face. "Searching for ways to kill you, duh", he says in a snivelly voice that would make any normal human being cringe. Joe just stares at him with an incredulous look on his face, and then asks, "Do you know any way that we can find help for a problem?" Matt rolls his eyes and says, "Tom Bombadil, of course, he's the smartest guy I know, and he rocks!" He ends his comment with a high pitched laugh that almost made Joe flinch in terror. Joeseph asks, " How do we reach him? Where does he live?" Matt just laughs, and says, " You've gotta go to the center of the forest and say 'Hey Tom Bombadil, Tom Bombadillo, he wears a big red hat, and his boots are yellow'. You're so stupid, its so obvious." Joe walks out of the room and Matt continues what he's doing ( I secretly think that he's searching for pornography, but what do I know? Im only the author of this story (; )
Joseph goes out to the dimly lit hallway where his sister is waiting, and tells her what their bro said. Sally said, "Sounds like a bunch of bull to me." Joseph agrees, but he says, " But maybe he's not bullshitting (listen to that language!) us, and really knows what he's talking about. Maybe this guy can help us get some children oriented television shows on the tube!" Sally agrees, so they head to the front door and head outside. The sky is overcast and pregnant looking. Sally says,"Looks like rain Joe, lets hurry." The kids run to the shelter of the trees and start their trek towards the center of the forest. It's dark and the children sense hungry eyes searching for kid meat, for them. They hurry faster through the trees as it begins to rain, brushing against branches and brambles. Soon they can see the clearing that is the center of the forest.
Joe stands in the center of the clearing holding his sister's hand and recites the words that his brother gave him: "Hey Tom Bombadil, Tom Bombadillo, He wears a big red hat and his boots are yellow!" In a flash of light, they are transported to another dimension , and the children fall to the ground, dizzy and disoriented. Sally looks around and notices that shes not in her world anymore, not at all. In the center of the clearing sits a cabin, surrounded by large fungi. The cabin seems to be made for a person of somewhat smaller proportions. The kids head foreward towards the cabin, when all of a sudden, a merry looking little fellow steps out of the cabin, nearly as tall as the children, with a red hat with a fancy feather (Damn I wish I had that feather...), stops in front of them. He says, " Oh my now, this is very queer, I wonder what the hell you kids are doing here?"
Heh, people, it gets wierder, I am in a percocet induced stupor, , so dont hurt me, lol 00.
I'll have several more chapters after this, and yes, I will still be on percocets, so, expect the same.
Have fun with it!