A/N: Just a little drabble, set post 2.09 (when Marissa's skipping school to hang out with Alex).
He wonders if he will see her today. He is kind of terrified by the prospect but then there is a small part of him that is curious to see how they cope. Will she shy away? Will they push through the awkwardness? They have done it so many times before.
He does not see her all through Monday and he chalks it up to their paths not crossing. On Tuesday morning, she is not in their History class and his mind starts wondering again. Is she okay? Is she ill?
He is walking to his Physics class with Lindsay when they bump into Summer. He is thinking about asking about Marissa, he wants to know but he also realises Lindsay's more insecure than ever. He's debating and deliberating, and he thinks he almost might, a casual question, but then Summer turns to say hi. It is just a moment, so tiny that someone else might call it inconsequential, but there is a look on her face that tells him she knows about the fight. Can you even call something that one-sided a fight? He cannot tell what she is thinking because it is seconds within which she has collected herself. And then she is saying goodbye and hurrying away, and he is still wondering why Marissa is not at school.
Wednesday goes by, then Thursday and there is still no sign of her. He mentions it to Seth over lunch. Seth shrugs and mumbles some half-hearted joke about Marissa being too hungover.
Ryan wonders why no one else seems to notice she is not in school. Why it is always him that is worrying. It is Friday afternoon when he cannot take it anymore. He spots Summer getting her coffee and rushes over.
"Hey, you got a minute?" he asks. She looks surprised and answers, sure.
"Is Marissa okay?" he questions. "I haven't seen her in school all week, and I was just wondering."
"She said she wasn't feeling great, some bug," Summer answers, tensing a bit at his mention of Marissa.
"She's missed a whole week of school," Ryan points out.
"Why are you suddenly so interested, Ryan? Haven't you done enough?"
"What's that supposed to mean?" Ryan snaps back. He is not quite prepared for an attack from Summer.
Summer sighs and he can see her trying to resist the temptation to say everything on her mind.
"I don't want to get involved but, God, Ryan, she cried and cried for you this summer. You meant so fucking much to her and then for you to tell her that all she ever did was drag you down, what a fucking dick move."
Ryan listens, taken aback but knowing that it is deserved.
"I said I was sorry," he protests. A part of him cannot believe he said the things he did. He never thought he would be so reckless, not with her. "I never wanted to hurt her," he pleads sadly.
Summer gives a weak nod of her head, unable to disguise her belief that he did regardless.
"Look, she's ok. There's nothing to worry about," she offers and says goodbye. He wants to tell Summer that it is not so simple. He wants her, or anyone else for that matter, to notice how Marissa's life is unravelling because it so clearly is.
He wants to move on, to really put those feelings from last year to rest but dear God, it is killing him right now that he cannot take care of her.